Shrewd Food

Snacks.  I love them.  I'm a snacker.  Mid-morning, afternoon, and night.  I love my snacks.  While sometimes I feel inspired to snack healthy (fruits, veggies, nuts, etc), most of the time ... I'm all for the crispy, crunchy, munchable, packaged products, and you know I adore my popcorn.  

"We are a family of snackers who want to share our nutritious and delicious snacks with the world. We are a family of creators who have developed the crunchiest, healthiest, shrewdest snacks around. We are a family of friends who honestly care about you and your mindful decision to snack more nutritiously for your benefit. You’ll love our high protein low carb snacks. We are your Shrewd Food family. We are here for you."

Shrewd Foods thus appeals pretty well to me - adding some protein into my snacking sounds great.  Shrewd Foods makes 5 lines of products, ranging from their original product, protein puffs, to their newest line, Keto dippers, with cookies and croutons somewhere in-between.  All are perfectly munchable items, and free from #allTheThings (soy-free, nut-free, egg-free, gluten-free, etc, etc).

Protein Puffs

The first product I tried is their original offering, protein puffs.  These are sorta like a a puffy chip.  Chips are a particular category of snack, and strangely, I rarely want them in-between meals, but I love them paired with my lunch.  Which is exactly why the protein puffs appealed to me - replace my chips and add protein?

"Are you following a gluten free, peanut free, tree nut free, soy free or egg free diet? You’re safe to snack on our protein Puffs. Our Puffs are also free from corn syrup, artificial flavors, colors and preservatives for a guilt free snack. 

WE LIKE TO CALL THIS OUR 3, 2, 1 GO! 3g of fat, 2g of Carbs and 1g of Sugar with plenty of Go from 14g of Protein. Get baked guilt-free!"

Like all the products, the signature Protein Puffs are high protein, low carb, gluten-free, low calorie, etc, etc.  They are made from ...  milk protein isolate, shaped into balls, baked, and then coated in seasonings.

Protein Puffs come in 7 flavors, mostly savory and cheese focused (e.g. cheese puffs): baked cheddar, brick oven pizza, nacho cheese, sriracha cheddar, and sour cream & onion, plus two sweet versions: strawberries & cream and cookies & cream.

I was able to try two kinds of savory, and one sweet.

Individual Bags.

The protein puffs come in handy single serve bags, each containing a few handfuls of puffs (not quite as full as the bag kinda looks), but plenty to make up a good snack. I found I didn't ever want more by the end of a bag.  They also offer some varieties in family size bags.

Each individual bag has only 90 calories, quite decent for snack food, yet has 14 grams of protein.  They seem ... kinda awesome, if that kind of macro tracking maters to you.

The first flavor I tried was the "Brick Oven Pizza", which had quite a tasty looking pizza on the front.  The packaging was kinda funny to me, with such a stunning pizza (which wouldn't that make health focused folks look away?) but also it looked a lot like, well, a health food, with "PROTEIN PUFFS" in such huge letters.  They kinda look like trying to catch the eyes of two very different demographics, and I'm curious how well that works.

Brick Oven Pizza.

"Imagine if pizza was the healthiest snack you could eat. Well… now it is! Our Brick Oven Pizza Protein Puffs to deliver that great cheesy flavor, crisp crunch, and rich Italian pizza spices!"

They did, indeed, look like cheese balls.

The first flavor I tried was the "Brick Oven Pizza", the milk protein isolate based balls, coated in "natural pizza seasoning", a mix of cheddar cheese powder, tomato, onion, and garlic powders, salt, sugar, and paprika.  Well, basically pizza although who uses cheddar on their pizza?

I'll admit they were not nearly as bad as I feared.  The crunch factor was good.  The popular cheese ball shape was fun.  The texture didn't quite melt in your mouth and wasn't as airy as normal cheese puffs, but it wasn't bad.

But I wasn't really into the pizza flavor, as I expected.  Much like "nacho cheese" and other similar items, just, not what I really like.  It was zesty, it was savory, it was ... slightly cheesy, fairly tomato-y.

If you do like the flavor, I think they'd work as standard finger food snack, but also perhaps as a salad topping, or perhaps even sprinkled on top of tomato soup?

Baked Cheddar.

"Our protein puffs deliver super cheesy flavor and crispy crunch."

Next I went for the *actual* cheese balls.

I didn't hate the flavor at least, they were, uh, "fake cheesy", but otherwise were the same puffy kinda odd milk protein isolate balls that I can't say are particularly delightful - they are close, crispy, almost nice, but, they kinda crunch in a strange way.

Better flavor for me, and nice to have a protein filled snack but ... they still fall short from something I'd want to purchase.

Cookies & Cream.

"Craving something sweet and chocolatey? Our Cookies & Cream Puffs are sure to satisfy your sweet tooth and the crunch you desire, while providing 14g of protein and only 90 calories."

And finally, a ... dessert flavor?  I was extremely skeptical, but the idea of incorporating some protein into my numerous daily desserts was certainly appealing.  I'm a *responsible* indulger after all ...

The first time I tried them was actually with my breakfast.  I was making a platter of a warm maple glazed buttermilk donut, some fresh fruit, dark chocolate ... and I felt a bit guilty for not having any protein on my plate.   Rather than add some yogurt and granola to my fruit, or get some nuts, etc, I thought, "hey, why not try those chocolate protein puffs ..."

And they were actually pretty decent as part of my breakfast platter.  They really weren't that bad.  And they *did* taste like cookies & cream ... the milk protein isolate that makes the base finally found a proper pairing: chocolate!  Yes, they were light, fluffy, Oreo balls.  Decently munchable.

I tried some a few days later as cereal, which, uh, I made with chocolate milk.  Now that was fun too, and shockingly, they didn't really get soft, at all.  Super crispy Oreo cereal in chocolate milk, that is high protein and decently healthy? Topped with some strawberries and I felt, well, quite pleased with myself.

I won't go out to buy them myself, but, the cookies and cream flavor was there, and they had a nice crunch.  I'll gladly finish off the bag.  I appreciated that the bag had ~3 servings, 32 puffs each, and each serving was a full 14g of protein.

Still that strange form factor of course.

Croutons

Another product line is croutons.  However, only one variety exists.  Rather than a side snack, these are intended to be used like, well, croutons.  Tossed onto a salad, mostly, but the packaging also suggests crumbling and using on top of mac and cheese, casseroles, and the like.

Protein Croutons.

They come in a resealable bag, with 5 servings per bag (suggested).

Like the protein puffs, they use a milk protein base, are high protein, low carb, gluten free, low calorie, keto friendly, etc, etc, etc.

Parmesan Herb Croutons.

"We’ve reinvented the crouton! Our protein croutons deliver big time tasty flavor and crispy crunch without all the carbs, calories and fat. This is the crunch your salad has been missing."

My first reaction, as I opened the bag of protein croutons, was surprise.  They ... were definitely not what I was expecting to see.  They look ... the same as the puffs.   I was expecting  to see something more standard crouton-shaped.  I actually double checked the package to make sure I had grabbed the right bag from the pantry, a bit confused.

Once I got past the form factor though, I was pleasantly surprised.  They actually are fine.  The base texture and flavor is identical to the puffs, which makes sense, they are the same thing.  The parmesan herb flavor to these was actually really good, quite strong, very savory, very herby.  Nice seasoning, a mix of parmesan cheese, garlic powder, spices, and, lol, powdered sugar?!  Very flavorful croutons.  You could just snack on them too I suppose, if you wanted a savory snack of that flavor.

They did have the same mouthfeel as the puffs, and ate in the same way, which was not exactly the same as a regular crouton, but the airy crunch worked.  They held up well against dressing, even with time, retaining crunch and absorbing a touch of dressing.

I'm always throwing extra protein into my salads (nuts, seeds, crispy quinoa, etc) and I always throw extra crunchy things in (rarely actual croutons, but often wonton strips, flavored chex mixes, flavored pretzels, wasabi peas, corn nuts, etc, etc), so these are a product I have a ton of use use for.  With as much protein per serving as a pretty standard salad size serve of things like tofu, beans, and the like, or 3 eggs, 40 almonds, etc, they really are nice to have on hand instead, as, well, I don't like those other things :)

I'd probably get these again.

California Smart Foods

Desserts, and baked goods in general, are pretty much my favorite things to review. And by "review", you know I mean "eat".  For "research".  Even if they are not from traditional bakeries.

Like California Smart Foods, a wholesale bakery in the San Francisco Bay Area.  As far as I know, they have no physical retail store, and never have.  They sell wholesale only, and I think make some wedding cakes and that sort of thing.

Yet I've encountered California Smart Foods items many, many times.  For a while, my office used them for catering events, and for the weekly donuts on Fridays (back in the day when such a thing was a thing!).  The offerings are vast (breakfast pastries, donuts, cakes, pies, tarts, etc), and generally "good enough", with a few surprise good items, but most just mediocre.

Morning Pastries

Selection of Pastries.

My co-workers have been asking for cinnamon rolls or sticky buns for quite some time, and I found out that California Smart Foods carried many items that sounded like they might fit the bill.  Cinnamon rolls. or Old-Fashioned cinnamon rolls.  Or sticky buns.  Or morning buns.

What was the difference between them all?  I reached out to find out more, and ... was sent samples of each, plus a few more items.  I gleefully "tested" them out, to determine the best product for my team to order.

Sadly, the breakfast pastries do not seem to be a strong point for California Smart Foods.

Bear Claw (Large). $1.32.

I started with the bear claw, not one I ordered, but one that was thrown in extra for me to try.

It was a pretty standard low-end coffee shop bear claw, if you know what I mean.  The dough not particularly flaky nor buttery, but at least it wasn't soggy or oily.

Inside was a layer of almond filling, but not very much, and, again, not remarkable.  A few sliced almonds on top finished it off.

Like many items, this is available in multiple sizes, this was the large.

Raisin Snail (Large). $1.32.

Next, the raisin snail, which fared about the same.

Same mediocre croissant dough that at least wasn't spongy nor oily nor try, but wasn't particularly good.  Filled with raisins between the rolls.  Slightly sticky glaze.

Basically, a generic pastry item.  And like others, available in multiple sizes, this was the large.  My least favorite, as I don't really like raisins.

Sticky Bun (Large). $1.32.

Things got more interesting with the sticky bun.  And this one at least looked amazing!

The dough was more fluffy, more rich.  The sticky sauce on top of course helped, sweet, perhaps slightly honey based?  Sticky, as it should be.  The nuts used were walnuts, chopped, and in good quantity.

So, better than the previous items, but not particularly remarkable either, even if it looked glorious.

Morning Bun. $1.22.

The morning bun was my surprise favorite.

The dough seemed to be a cross between the raisin snail/bear claw and sticky bun types, softer, fluffier than the previous, but also crispy on the exterior and moist inside.

It was coated in cinnamon sugar, and very cinnamon forward, and also seemed to have a bit of the almond frangiapane?

There was nothing remarkable about it, but, I enjoyed it the most.

Old Fashioned Cinnamon Rolls (4-pack). $7.

And finally the "Old Fashioned" cinnamon rolls, available only by the tray, 4 or 8 each.

These were not at all what I was expecting, as I didn't really taste much cinnamon at all, and, uh, they were loaded with raisins?  So, so many raisins.  They seemed much more like the raisin snails, just with more plentiful filling between the rolls, and icing drizzled on top.

At room temperature, they were ... fine?  The dough was not light and fluffy, rather, it was more like croissant dough, a bit tougher.  The icing was tasty and sweet.  My raisin aversion made it hard to really love these though.  And I desperately wanted them warm!

Old Fashioned Cinnamon Rolls (Warmed Up!).

So, I warmed them up, easily popping the whole pan into the (toaster) oven.  A few minutes at 350* and these were transformed.

Warm, they were considerably better.  The icing melted, the dough softened.  Much, much better.  But, the raisins were still there.  

So for my third bun (don't judge! I had a whole tray!) I extracted the raisins, and threw them where they belong - the trash!  Then I added vanilla ice cream between the folds, and drizzled the whole creation with dulce de leche, to make up for the fact that I lost some icing in my raisin extraction process.

I *loved* that creation - warm croissant-like dough, slight cinnamon, sweet icing and extra drizzle, and ice cream?  I mean, really.  Amazing.  But ... that isn't quite reflective of the original item, and I wouldn't actually get these again.

Donuts

Donuts.  Glorious, glorious donuts.  

Donuts.

For years, my office got giant boxes of these donuts every Friday.  The selection was always astounding.

Assorted Cake Donuts.

The selection changed every week slightly, but always featured some cake donuts, some glazed (chocolate or maple), some with sprinkles or coconut, etc.  We usually had some old fashioned too.

We always had a full line up of raised donuts too.

Fancier Donuts.

Sometimes had some fancier donuts too, like the huge cinnamon buns, bear claws, and stick donuts.

Filled Donuts.

Sometimes we even had filled donuts, with jelly, custard, and more.  Those usually went fast!

Donuts, Donuts, Donuts.

This was a small mini spread, but you can see, they always made sure to include some of every kind - cake, raised, filled, bars ...  and, the best of all: apple fritters.  More on those soon.

Glazed Old Fashioned

This looked like a very classic old fashioned donut.  Jagged edges, cake donut, lots of glaze.  And, like all their donuts, it just wasn't great.  Dense, kinda too oily cake donut.  But, the plentiful glaze helped covered up the stale oil taste, and I did like the crispy edges, like a fritter.

Cinnamon Twist

This was most like a croissant than a donut, although, not a good croissant.  The dough was more light and airy, but, not flaky, layered, buttery, or, well, good croissant dough. The cinnamon between the twists was subtle, not sugary-cinnamon filling like you'd get in a cinnamon roll, just some light cinnamon.

Overall, it wasn't awful, it didn't have the over-fried/stale oil qualities of many of their donuts, but, it certainly wasn't a good pastry.

Assorted Donuts.

Even after the days of massive donut spreads ended, not a week went by without one of these glorious boxes showing up somewhere.  I always recognized them immediately.

Donuts.

From top left, clockwise spiral:

• Bear Claw
• Glazed Twist
• Maple Glazed
• Apple Fritter
• Maple Glazed #2
• Glazed Old Fashioned
• Chocolate Frosted with Sprinkles x2
• Glazed Jelly Filled
• Cinnamon Roll
• Sugar

I've tried ... most of them, including many others that weren't in this particular box, as you probably expect from me at this point.  The raised donuts are the least spectacular, but I think that is just how I generally feel about raised donuts in general.  The cake donuts are good dense donuts, sometimes exactly what I'm in the mood for, which always surprises me, as I never used to like cake donuts as a child.  But the real winners are what I'm calling the "specialty donuts", things like absolutely massive apple fritters and cinnamon rolls, that I am just incapable of resisting!

Raised Donuts

The raised donuts seem to be what people gravitate towards, classic donuts, crowd pleasers, and the ones people feel "less guilty" about taking ... for some strange reason.

The simple raised ring donuts are "fine" but not great, and I mostly never opt for them.  However, the filled round and bar raised donuts do call out from time to time ...

Glazed Raised Jelly Donut.

Another day, another visit to the donut box.

I eyed the selection.  The simple chocolate glazed with sprinkles didn't catch my eye.  I almost grabbed a maple bar.  I could get the bear claw again, but didn't love it.  It was time to try a risk, and go for something else.

From one side, this looked like just a puffy glazed donut.  I took a gamble, hoping it would be filled, perhaps with cream, perhaps with jelly.  Once in my hand, I turned it around, and the telltale hole on the far size revealed that I was correct.  Red goo oozed out.  Must be a jelly donut!

Glazed Jelly: Inside.

The donut itself was pretty lackluster.  Just a standard donut, a bit dry.  The glaze was thick and crusty, not awesome.  The whole thing seemed a bit stale.

The jelly filling was raspberry, and, well, it was very much what it looked like.  Goo.  Sweet goo, that tasted somewhat like raspberry, but clearly wasn't any sort of fancy fresh fruit puree.  It wasn't awful, but it also wasn't good.  On the plus side, it was generously stuffed.  I'm not actually sure I've ever seen a donut with this much jelly filling before.  Since the jelly was so goopy, it actually was a bit much, and I found myself almost wanting to discard some.  Can't say I've ever had that feeling before, usually I'm seeking more jelly in my donut.

Anyway, it was highly generic, highly mediocre.  It won't offend you, but really, no reason to get a second one of these, ever.  And why glazed?  Don't they know jelly donuts should be sugar coated? :)

Glazed Jelly.

"No reason to get a second one of these, ever", I say.  And then what do I do?  I try one again, years later.  Because it looked great!  The jelly!  The glaze!

And the result? Sadness!  These are just very generic, not great donuts, that don't taste very fresh, and have really low end goo inside.  Please, self, skip in the future.

Platter O' Jelly Donuts!

Of course, several months later, we had another event.  This time, there was a big platter of jelly donuts, nicely cut in half, for those who wanted slightly less indulgence (or, in my case, wanted to try several types of donut!).

I knew I didn't find the jelly particularly spectacular before, but, with so much jelly oozing out, I couldn't resist.

And I'm glad I didn't.  While it still wasn't an earth shattering jelly donut, it was quite satisfying.  The dough was light and fluffy, not stale or too fried tasting.  There was tons of glaze, super sweet.  And the filling?  Insane, still the most jelly I've ever seen inside a jelly donut.  They seriously load this thing up.  The jelly is just sweet goo, but, it is tasty enough.

A solid jelly donut.  Nothing particularly special, and certainly the sweetest offering, but, if you are in the mood for a ridiculous amount of sugar, a solid choice.

Chocolate Glazed Cream Filled Bars (halves).

Another day, another event.  This time, someone cut the chocolate glazed bars in half, and I was able to see that they had custard inside.  Yes!  Basically a Boston Cream, but, a bar.

The donut was ... boring.  The dough was like the other raised donuts, not offensive, not particularly interesting.  Fine.  The chocolate coating wasn't particularly chocolately nor think.

But the real problem was the filling.  I'm not sure if you can see in the photo, but, they had very, very little filling.  You can see a little squirt coming out of some of them, but other halves don't even have any!  If you grabbed the wrong one, you literally got no filling.

This is strange, since their jelly donuts are the complete opposite, filled far more than you'd ever expect.

Maple Glazed Raised Bar (half).

Another day, another time to gamble.  I eyed the massive bars.  One was topped with what looked like maple glaze.  Since the chocolate frosted one was filled with cream, I assumed this maple glazed one would also have a custard filling, (or maybe a maple filling)?

The bars are, like the speciality donuts, insanely large, so I took only half.  As I ripped it open, I hoped to find filling oozing out, but alas, it wasn't filled.

Just a simple raised donut, fluffy, puffy, fine.  It didn't taste stale, it didn't taste oily, it really was fine.  But not what I was looking for.  The maple glaze was sweet, generous, and very tasty.  If only it was filled!  I wouldn't get this again, but if you like a simple donut, this was good.

And, by the way, this half a donut bar was easily the size of any regular raised donut.

Cream Filled Maple Glazed Bar. $1.04.

Another time, I saw the maple glazed bars, and wasn't tempted ... until I saw the tiny hole in the back, with the cream inside.  Yes!  Creamed filled!

Of course, the donut itself was again not really good.  I don't care for their raised donuts.  The maple glaze however was sweet and tasty.

The filling was slightly better done this time, more evenly distributed, but wasn't generous enough to make this bar worth it.  Eh.

Cake Donuts

Finally, I started trying the cake donuts.  I never went for cake donuts as a child.  The only time I had cake donuts was when they were tied on strings and suspended above my head in eat-a-donut-off-a-string contests (y'all did that too, right?)  Or when covered in cinnamon and sugar and served after church with hot chocolate the first Sunday of the month.  I was normally all about the toppings, the fillings, the decadence.  I guess nothing has really changed, has it?

But a few weeks ago I had a large selection of donuts from another donut company (Dynamo), and I was strangely into the cake donuts.  I decided it was time to finally take a risk and try a cake donut.  Even though the fritter was staring me in the face.  I could leave it for someone else.  Take one for the team.  Try a cake donut.

Summary?  California Smart Foods does cake donuts much better than raised, or at least, I like them far better, but, I'm still not a cake donut girl.

Coconut Crumble Cake Donut.

For my first cake donut, I went for the one most covered in ... stuff.  What kind of stuff, I wasn't entirely sure, but I figured even if the donut was boring, the more stuff I had on it, the better it would be.

This was a serious donut.  Yes, the base was a basic cake donut.  It was dense, cakey, and actually quite good.  Not stale, not too crumble, not too oily.  A nice base.

But of course, this donut was about the coatings.  First, a layer of sweet glaze.  Then shredded coconut.  Then cake crumbles.  The crust on this thing was crazy, each layer was substantial, and it was coated equally on all sides, including the bottom.  The glaze was super sweet, complimenting the plain cake base.  The coconut flavor came through.  The crumble added more texture.  Each element worked together.

It was quite good, and suited the mood I was in that day.  It went great alongside my coffee.  I'm not sure I'd get another, but it did inspire me to try more cake donuts.

Update: I got this again, and ... I hated it this time.  The coating was too thick, and strangely moist.  I didn't like the coconut flavor.  The donut was also really moist, and tasted like old oil.  Not sure what went wrong here, but it was just not for me on this day.

Update: I needed a tie-breaker, so I tried another.  The verdict?  I have no idea why I liked it that first time.  I really, really didn't like it this time around.  It tasted like nasty oil, and the coating was really unappealing.  No further trials needed.

Another Update: I still don't like this.  Dense, mushy, oily.  Why did I ever try these?

Cinnamon Sugar.

One day, I was feeling churro inspired, and grabbed the cinnamon sugar donut, before I remembered that I don't really like cake donuts.

It was just a standard, dense, cake donut.  Not too oily, but not very good.  It was well coated in cinnamon and sugar, but, meh.

Specialty Donuts

My favorite category however is the speciality donuts, most of which are offered in several sizes.  The mini ones are what most people would consider normal, the smalls are huge, and the big are ... well, ridiculous, really.

"Small" Apple Fritter. $0.99.

The first time I encountered the donut platter, I went straight for my favorite donut.  I was thrilled that no one else had grabbed it yet.  The glorious, glorious creation known as none other than the apple fritter!

It was huge, as any good fritter should be.  Yes, too big for a person.  Yes, you'll think you can't finish it.  Yes, you will.  And yes, it will make you feel sick.  And no, you can't resist it.  Right?  Amusingly, this is the regular, or small size, fritter.   They *also* make a "large".  Double lol.

It was a decent fritter.  Not earth shattering, but really, when is an apple fritter actually bad? (which is not the way I feel about many other types of donuts, FYI).  I've had plenty a crappy donut before, and, turns out, many of the others in the box fall in that category, which you'll soon read about.

So back to the fritter.  It had decent enough spicing.  It had decent enough chunks of soft apple.  Tons of crispy icing.  Yes, a bit too fried tasting, a bit stale, but, still pretty satisfying given the mood I was in.

I'd get it again if I was in the mood for such a beast ... which I've done many, many times.

"Small" Apple Fritter. $0.99.

And of course I got it again.  This time, I cut it in half, and saved the other half to eat later.  It was still a full size donut at this point.  The more reasonable portion size was a great move.  I was more than satisfied, felt more than indulgent, but didn't feel sick afterwards.  I recommend this to myself next time around!

The fritter really made me quite happy.  Again, not the best fritter in the world, but, it was good.  There wasn't much in the way of apple chunks, but the cinnamon flavor was good, the glaze crispy and plentiful, the interior moist, and it was super fried and crisp on the outside.  A bit too fried, but, it turned out to be exactly what I wanted.  Crispy, fried, doughy, moist ... sometimes, it is exactly what you want on a Friday.

The other half I tried heating up in my toaster oven a few hours later, to see what it would be like warm.  Hot and fresh donuts are always more enjoyable right?  The result was a bit shocking.  It basically turned into fried dough, the kind you get at the carnival.  It was absolutely dripping in oil.  I can't get over how much oil was coming out of it.  You could literally wring it out.  I'm under no misconceptions that these donuts are fried and full of oil, but, wow.  Proceed with caution.

Update: I took my own advice, and got half again.  And again, it was just perfect.  Sweet, glazed, fried in a great way, moist, just exactly what I wanted.

Update: And ... another.  I'm kinda addicted to these.  I love the crusty outside, the ridiculously sweet glaze, and the moist, doughy interior.  They really do a great job with the fritter.  I can get through a full regular size one, usually by breaking it up into mid-morning and mid-afternoon snack.  Perfect!

Large Apple Fritter. $1.07.

And then, I finally encountered the "large" version.  Um, loltastic.  Our server had the foresight to cut them in half.  I don't have the perspective here, but literally, each half was bigger than a regular full size fritter, which is already huge.

Of course I keep getting these.  Sometimes they are a bit over-fried, darker brown, crispier.  But, that doesn't bother me.  Sometimes they are too oily though, I am surprised by the lack of consistency for somewhere that produces in such volume.

I've also tried keeping half for the next day.  They don't hold up very well.  But freezing works quite nicely.  In fact, um, I actually even like them frozen, you don't need to warm them up at all.  If you do warm them, then, they transform into the fried dough mess I was referring to above.  A very different thing, but still tasty.

Apple Fritter Cross Section.

I've had more of these than I can count at this point.

They really are decent apple fritters.  Fluffy raised dough, good cinnamon flavor throughout, moist bits of apple, crispy exterior (particularly the bottom), plenty of glaze.  Way too big though, easy to split into 4 satisfying servings: breakfast, afternoon snack, dessert, and warmed up the next day for breakfast.  Or waffled the next day. 

Bear Claw (Large). $1.32.

On my next visit, the fritter was gone, and I was in the mood for decadence.  So I grabbed the bear claw.

This thing was also huge.  I think they make it massive, to make up for its deficiencies.  And yes, they do make a "mini" size as well.  I'm curious how big that "mini" is ...

To be fair, it wasn't awful.  The croissant dough just wasn't flaky or buttery.  It tasted like a very generic croissant that you can get at a grocery store, or that you'd be served on an airplane.

The filling was almond paste, which did have good flavor.  Once I gave up on the croissant, I just scooped out all the filling and enjoyed it.

A couple bonus points for being glazed and crispy on top, with sliced almonds.

But the lackluster croissant dough just sank this one.  Decent, but not great, and I won't get another.

Update: Except, of course, I did.  Since the other donuts are all so good, I had to give it another try, right?  I went one day when the pickings were slim, and decided to give it another try, based on the flavorful filling.  I felt the same way.  I didn't want the croissant, I enjoyed the almond paste, but, it was just almond paste, nicely sweetened.

Another Update: Yeah, I don't like these.  Stale, dry croissant, boring filling.

Cinnamon Roll (Large). $1.07.

Speaking of a massive treat.  Wow, the cinnamon roll.  It too, is insanely large.  Why does this company super-size so many of the options?  I mean, I'm not REALLY complaining, but, uh, half the size would actually suit me just fine, and probably leave me with less of a stomach ache ... to be fair, they do also make a small size.

The cinnamon roll really didn't look great.  I grabbed it on my next visit because I just wasn't actually wanting a ton of donut, and I know Ojan loves cinnamon rolls.  I figured I'd have a try bites, write a review, and go on my way of delivering it to Ojan.

Uh, he never got any.  Not a single bite.

Now, it wasn't an amazing cinnamon roll.  But it was sooooo much better than it looked.

It was light and fluffy.  Good cinnamon flavor between the layers.  Moist, doughy texture inside.  Crispy on the top from plentiful icing.

For a generic cinnamon roll, this really was amazing.  My second pick of their donuts, and I'd certainly get another.  And maybe, just maybe, I'd manage to share it.  But no promises.

Cinnamon Roll.

I got another, and this time, far less amazing.  Much better than any of California Smart Food's other donuts (besides the fritter), but still not that remarkable.  The glaze is good, the texture is light and fluffy, but, I'd pick a fritter over this any day, unless I was trying to be a bit healthier.

And then, of course I got another.  And I liked it.  Sure, this is not worth going out of your way for, but it continues to be my second favorite of their donuts, and the one I pick when I'm looking for something a little less insane than a fritter.  The dough is light and fluffy, it isn't oily, the glaze is sweet, and the cinnamon flavor is decent.  A solid choice.

Cinnamon Roll.

Yes, I continue to grab these sometimes, and I continue to like them.  Light and fluffy, sweet glaze, plenty of cinnamon.   One time, I only ate half (seriously, this thing is massive), and saved half for the next morning, just to see how it turned out.  The result?  Still delicious!  There was absolutely no downside to saving it a day, and, in some ways, I think it was even tastier, as it was more moist and the glaze was more gooey.  From now on, if I can somehow have the restraint, I'll take to saving half.

I also tried freezing half one time.  That also worked fine.  I wrapped it in foil and heated it in the toaster oven and really enjoyed the warm cinnamon roll. It was also fine just allowed to return to room temp, and, strangely, I even liked it when it got a bit crusty and stale.

So, in summary? This one really isn't bad; fresh, day old, frozen and reheated, however you want it.

Cinnamon Roll Transformations.

I have also found that the cinnamon rolls are great the next day, warmed up in a waffle iron or panini press (read all about it!)

Donut Holes

For days when you just want a "little something", they also make donut holes.

Glazed Donut Holes.

The donut holes are made from the same basic dough, same basic glaze as the raised full size donuts.  Which is to say, fine, but boring.

Very well coated in sweet glaze, again, fine, but boring.

A fairly standard donut hole, no more, no less.

Pies

California Smart Foods makes glorious pies.  Not homestyle pies, they actually are quite generic and seem like they could come from Sara Lee, but, um, we love them?  Particularly the cream pies, zomg.  Seriously, these pies.  We request them frequently.

Chocolate Pie (June 2018).

This was a very good chocolate pie.

Soft, sweet, light crust, not a flaky puff pastry style, almost more like a soft cookie.  But the right style for this pie.

The filling was very rich, very chocolately pudding.  It was thick and smooth, very, very good.  Perhaps a bit sweet, but I'd gladly just eat a bowl of this pudding as, uh, pudding, but it was nice in pie form too.

That said, it was too rich on its own, at least in slices of this size, but loaded with whipped cream, it was great!

Chocolate Pie (November 2017).

We order these every couple months.

Sometimes the pale blonde crust breaks off.  But it is ok, everyone else fails to scoop up the extra crust, and I grab it, eager to dunk it into my whipped cream on the side.

Chocolate Pie (January 2019).

This pie is just consistently great.

We continue to all love this pie, so thick, so rich, such deep chocolate flavor.  Hard to eat a ton of at once as it is so very rich ... except, well, you want to, so you just add more whipped cream (or mix with banana cream pie for a glorious chocolate banana cream bite!).  We always request whipped cream on the side.

Always our second favorite pie choice though, as there is one even better ...

Chocolate Pie (June 2019).

As I said, we order this one regularly, as it is just so good.  This time, our catering team added whipped cream on top to cut the richness, which is definitely needed, but I prefer when we are just given a vat of housemade whipped cream to add on top ourselves, or, even, just a can, as the lighter style works well here..

I've had it ... at least 10 times now, and it is always fantastic and very consistent.  This one time though, the crust wasn't quite as good - not as light, and almost stale tasting.  The filling was still fantastic however.

Banana Cream Pie.

As good as the chocolate pie is though, the banana cream is, hands down, my favorite of the pies.

I am not alone.  My group now demands that I order double the banana cream pie every time.

Banana Cream Pie (Inside).

The simple pale colored crust that I do actually like, soft and sweet, and goes great with the cream.  Layers of thick, rich, flavorful banana pudding, slices of fresh banana, and plenty of fluffy whipped topping.  

Classic, and one of my absolute favorites.  Always, always a crowd pleaser too.

Banana Cream Pie (August 2018).

We've had the banana cream many times now, and I adore it every time.  It always looks exactly the same, such a simple pale crust, and just whipped cream on top, but, its shockingly good.

Banana Cream Pie (January 2019).

If we go a couple months without this pie on our dessert rotation, people get vocal.  They *never* explicitly ask for things, except this pie.

And time after time, it disappears sooo fast.

Banana Cream Pie (March 2019).

And it is always ... perfect?

Soft crust, fresh banana, lovely banana custard, thick perfect whipped cream.  It just all goes together so very well.

Banana Cream Pie (June 2019).

I've taken to always ordering the chocolate and banana cream on the same day (with double the banana), so that I can create a hybrid pie.

Don't get me wrong, they are both glorious on their own, but if you have the two together ... so very very good.

Banana Cream Pie (December 2019).

Is banana cream a traditional holiday pie?  Nah.  But did I still order it alongside our classic pumpkin, pecan, and apple for a holiday meal?  Of course.  And was it the first to go?  Absolutely!

This pie continues to please everyone, every single time.  Fresh bananas, great flavor to the cream filling, crust that even crust haters don't mind, and excellent whipped cream.

Coconut Pie.

The coconut pie was ok, the same good soft sweet crust as the others, filled with a decent thick pudding laced with coconut shreds, and tons of shredded coconut on top.  No cream layer on top like the banana cream though.

The shredded coconut on top was just a bit much for me, I didn't like the texture and there was so much coconut in with the pudding that it was just ... too much coconut.  I like coconut flavor, but, meh to that much shredded coconut.

It also really needed a cream component, so I added my own whipped cream, but it would have been better with it on top already, like the banana cream.  My least favorite of the pies, but, I did still really like the crust and the pudding was good.

Coconut Pie.

We've had the coconut pie a few more times, just because we couldn't *always* just have banana cream, and my feelings remain the same on it.  It is fine, but, there are little things that just make it not as awesome.

Coconut Pie: Close Up.

The coconut cream filling is good, but loaded with coconut, and with sooooo much additional coconut on top, its just ... too much coconut, without something to balance it.  Honestly, if they just added the whipped cream layer to this, under the topping of extra coconut, I think it would be great.  It needs the balance.  I add my won own shipped cream, but, that really shouldn't be necessary!

We always kinda like this one, but, last time I served it, the group said, "Can we just get double banana cream next time?"

Cakes and Cupcakes

All 10" cakes are also available in quarter, half, or full sheets as well.

Vanilla Cupcake with Rainbow Frosting. (June 2018)

For a Pride event, we had their cupcakes, simple vanilla.

They ... were not great.  On par with any grocery store cupcake, just a kinda oily dense yet dry base cupcake without any particular flavor.

The frosting was ... plain.  Not vanilla.  Not buttercream.  Just sugar.  Meh.

Vanilla Cupcake. (June 2019).

The next year, we had them again for Pride, again with assorted colors of same-flavored frosting.

I knew I didn't love these last time, but, I wanted to give them another try.

My review is nearly identical.  The cake is ... fine, sweet, not dry, but it tastes highly processed and oily.  Not exactly good.

I did kinda like the frosting, but it was very one-note, sweet sweet frosting.  Good fluffy factor though.

10" Strawberry Shortcake. $29.63.

California Smart Foods carries many different cakes, and we picked the "strawberry shortcake" to be seasonally appropriate, as it was summer.  We weren't quite sure what it would be, but expected strawberries, cake, and cream at least?

It was a fine looking cake, garnished with piping around the edges, halves of strawberries, and dollops of frosting on top.

Strawberry Shortcake: Inside.

The cake was three layers high, with cream and fruit between.

The cake was ... just as dry, stale-ish, and boring as the cupcake cake though.  Really not great.  Very plain.

The frosting I think was just whipped cream?  It certainly wasn't buttercream, and didn't have any particular flavor to it either.

A very mediocre cake.

Fresh Fruit Tart. $28.97.

One of my co-workers requested a fruit tart, and, given how good the cream filling for the cream pies was, I happily obliged.

We choose a full size tart, although many other sizes were available, but all agreed that the cream to fruit to crust ratio is best in a full size tart.

The tart did look amazing.

Loaded on top with blackberries, raspberries, blueberries, strawberries, kiwi, and mango, clearly hand arranged, and then glazed.  The fruit was all fresh tasting, although not particularly remarkable.

Fruit Tart: Inside.

Under the fruit was the expected cream layer, but also a surprise: chocolate lining the tart shell!

The cream was thick, complimented the fruit fine, but wasn't particularly flavorful nor interesting on its own.  Certainly not the caliber of the banana cream pie.

The chocolate was just chocolate, but, people thought it was a fun twist.

The shell was *very* hard and bland.  I'm not one for tarts in general, as I don't generally like tart shells, but, this one was even more hard and flavorless than many (although at least not sawdust-like!)

Overall, a nice looking item, a fairly standard, well made fruit tart.  Never what I go for, but the team was happy with it.