Snack Pack Puddings

Update Reviews, March 2021

Um, yum.

I know it isn't the best pudding out there.  I know I haven't exactly raved about it before, originally finding it quite awful, and eventually finding it acceptable, but requiring jazzing up.  Yup, I'm talking about shelf-stable, packaged Snack Packs.  

But you know what?  In the "pandemic years" these things really grew on me.  For days where you want a fast, creamy comfort food, having some Snack Packs on hand really can be a lovely (and quite affordable!) treat.

I may continue to keep some of these in the pantry in the future ...

Vanilla Chocolate.

"Satisfy your cravings for both of our classic flavors with our chocolate and vanilla pudding pack."

Vanilla chocolate is a layered flavor, two layers each of chocolate, with a vanilla layer in the middle.  Mine did not look like the marketing in any way - the "vanilla" was a light brown, rather than more white color.

The pudding was ... "fine".  By which I mean, it wasn't worth throwing out, but, it wasn't really very good.  Standard Snack Pack consistency, creamy, but not particularly rich, and not particularly ... flavorful.  The chocolate flavor had more to it than the vanilla layer, which literally tasted like nothing, but it is certainly not an indulgent, fudgey chocolate flavor.  Neither had the rather signature "plastic" taste that some Snack Pack flavors have, so that was good.

I jazzed it up with fancy sea salt (the salt *really* made it pop!), tons of whipped cream, and sprinkles.  It was ... better this way, but certainly not something I'd purchase again.

Update: Of course I had a whole 4 pack, so I had to eat the rest!  Each time I felt the same, a bit let down.  I loved the creamy consistency, and the promise of chocolate was so real, but, it just needed *more* chocolate flavor.  I added chocolate sprinkles, cocoa nibs, and chocolate ganache, plus sea salt and whipped cream, and enjoyed it the most that way.  But still, it needed too much "help" to reach that point.

***.

Tapioca.

"Old-fashioned vanilla taste, with the thick richness of tapioca pudding."

Ok, um, I really liked this one.

Like, really liked it.

I pulled the tapioca pudding out of fridge, and took my first bite, expecting to want to add all sorts of things.  I had fresh blueberries and strawberries on hand, a jar of caramel, a mind racing with thoughts of crunchy things I could add in, and of course, a can of whipped cream.

But I didn't need any of it.  Really.

In the history of SnackPack, there has never been a flavor that I'm just happy to eat as is, but, this was that.  It was thick, it was creamy, it didn't taste at all like plastic.  The tapioca certainly isn't generous, of course I wanted more, but what was there added a pleasant enough texture.  The real win to this one though was just the base flavor.  The vanilla really, truly is, well, good?  Very deep flavor, really.  "Old-fashioned" I guess?

Anyway, I really liked this.  I had another one and did add fresh berries to it, but, really, these are fine just on their own.

****.

Update Review, 2020 Tastings

Sometimes I'm glad I don't read previous reviews (original, 2015) before trying an item.  Because I most certainly would have missed out on my re-discovery of Snack Packs, some of which turned out to be ... quite satisfying.  Others?  Most certainly not.

Banana Cream Pie.

"Richer and creamier than Grandma’s, with big banana taste. We won’t tell Grandma about our banana cream pie pudding."

I'll start by saying I *think* I had the banana cream pie.  I took it thinking it was actually just butterscotch and vanilla, but when I tasted it, I thought I tasted slight banana.  It was part of a variety pack, and I didn't have the details on the pack.  And then, when I went to write the review, I couldn't find a layered vanilla and butterscotch product actually made by Snack Pack, and it sure looked a lot like the "Banana Cream Pie" item ...

Anyway, while I have really, truly disliked the other flavors, noting that the consistency was not creamy, the flavor was plastic, I ... really did not have those issues with this one at all.  Sure, it wasn't rich creamy homemade pudding, no batter what their description says, but the flavor was enjoyable, quite sweet, and it was fairly rich.

I honestly likely would have been happy eating it just that way, but of course I decided to jazz it up (although in a fairly lazy way).

Banana Cream Pie + Warm Griddled Banana + Whipped Cream + Sweet Cookie Sticks.

I took a chunk of fresh banana, sliced it, and threw it into my grill.  The warmed banana chunks added more banana flavor, a bit of texture, and were perfect.

I pulled out a can of whipped cream, and added some topping.  Pudding needs whipped cream, right?  I liked the lightness and balance it brought.

And then I grabbed some sweet cookie sticks, from a Nutella & Go, and tossed them in for crunch.  They did taste remarkably like Nilla wafers, which, makes sense as they are from Nabisco too ...

Oh, there are sprinkles in there too.

The end result was *really* satisfying.  Banana cream pie basically, with two layers of pudding, warm fresh slightly caramelized banana, sweet cookie chunks, and whipped cream.  A+ me!

Vanilla.

 "The sweet and creamy classic everyone loves."

After that success, I moved on to the simple vanilla.  Again, I didn't find it plastic-y as I had in previous reviews, and enjoyed how creamy it was.  Sure, it tasted "fake", and I found it very sweet, but, I knew I could improve it from here ...

Simple Ingredients ...

I pulled out whipped cream to layer it with, to help temper the sweetness and slight cloying flavor to it.

I pulled out a banana, sliced it, and got the slices roasting in the toaster oven.

Then came more Nutella & Go, which I originally intended just for the sweet cookie sticks, but then realized I could use the Nutella too ...

And of course, sprinkles!

Roasted Banana Nutella Cream Pie Parfait!

I *loved* my creation.

Layers of pudding, whipped cream, and sweet biscuits, with soft, roasted, lightly caramelized bananas, pockets of Nutella, and sprinkles of joy.

Loved it.  And I loved that I made something so delicious with very simple pantry ingredients.

Butterscotch.

"A butterscotch pudding dessert—where sweet and creamy meet delicious."

I saved what I thought was going to be my absolute favorite for last.  Butterscotch.  I <3 butterscotch pudding.  I grew up with amazing homemade (for hours, literally, over the stove) butterscotch pudding (usually in pie form), made by my grandmother, with a recipe handed down over the years (*dark* brown sugar, is the magic ingredient ...).

I knew this would not be my grandmother's pudding, I knew it would need some jazzing up, but ... I was still very, very saddened by it.

It tasted artificial, like plastic, and cloying sweet.  I was so sad.

But I persevered.

Layered with whipped cream / candied pecans / white chocolate pretzels / sprinkles / roasted banana. 

I knew it needed whipped cream, that was a given.  I quickly applied equal parts whipped cream to original pudding, given just how cloying it was.

Then I started on crunchy elements.  I chopped up candied pecans and white chocolate pretzels - the former chosen as I do love the butterscotch-pecan combo, and the later for a salty and sweet element.

Top View

Next came tons of sprinkles, all kinds, more sugar, yes, but also some crunch.  And then, roasted bananas, inspired by the success from my the banana cream versions.

It still ... wasn't great.  It needed more help.

So I added vanilla ice cream (yeah, I know, why not?), more whipped cream, and salt (after this photo).  It was ... better.

I kinda just mixed it all up, enjoyed the contrasting cold bites with the ice cream, and warmth from roasted bananas, and the different crunchy bits made it more fun, but ... yeah.  Not really a winner.  I think it needed kettle corn as a topping ... and maybe peanuts?  Cracker jacks?

Unicorn!

"Made with real milk, fairy dust and Princess kisses for Magically delicious flavor."

The 6 pack contains 4 Pink and 2 Blue.  Your guess is as good as mine as to what these are supposed to actually taste like ... fairy dust and princess kisses?

They, uh, tasted like "sugar" to me ... And, yeah, that basically is what it is.  Vanilla pudding without vanilla, and with either red #40 or blue #1.  And both taste completely the same.

"Blue".

Blue tastes like ... yeah, fairy dust! Or was that a hint of princess kisses?  No, that was plastic :)

This really was just sweet, just plastic, and, while the blue was fun, it offered very little.

I had to add ice cream, whipped cream, fresh fruit, and white chocolate melt chex mix to make something moderately enjoyable.  But even then, it was ... forcing it.

Can't say I recommend this one.  Even my little niece, who loves unicorns and whatnot, wanted nothing to do with this.  The pink was the same.

Update Review, October 2015

Sometimes, I need to learn to take my own advice.  I said snack packs were awful, and that I wouldn't try them ever again.

And then, I visited my LA office, where they have a "junk food" microkitchen, and it came stocked with ... Snack Packs!  Pudding, I love pudding!  I couldn't resist trying another.

Like I said, should have taken my own advice, from my original review ...

Chocolate.

I know, I know.  Why did I try this.  Curiosity got the better of me.

One bite was all it took to remind me why I don't like these.  Plastic.  All you taste is plastic.  Not chocolate, not creamy pudding, just, plastic.  They smell like plastic, they taste like plastic.

Dear self: really, don't try these again.

Original Review, March 2013

I love pudding.  Creamy pudding, rice pudding, warm pudding, cold pudding, I love it all.  I don't normally go for packaged puddings, but I decided to give Snack Packs a try when I saw one named "Chocolate Cupcake".  Protip: Do not go grocery shopping when hungry!

They are as bad as I expected.  I won't by buying more!

Chocolate Cupcake.

Part of the newer "Bakery Shop" line, inspired by baked goods.  A layered creation, intending to be like the cupcake base and frosting.

The chocolate layer had ok chocolate flavor, it was slightly creamy, but mostly just kinda tasted like plastic.  The top layer, aka, the "frosting", had absolutely no flavor.  I didn't get the frosting sense at all.

Would not eat again.

Butterscotch.

Butterscotch is my favorite pudding of all time, as my grandmother makes a from scratch amazing version. As you can imagine, this didn't nearly live up.

All I could taste was strange sweetness, with the same consistency as the chocolate pudding version that is smooth, but isn't really creamy, and has slightly plastic-like taste.

Better than the chocolate cupcake, but still not good.

Tapioca.

You'd think I'd give up.  But ... maybe the tapioca was different enough that it would be ok?

Nope.

Again, not very creamy consistency, tasted like plastic.  Sorta vanilla flavored plastic.  With a few balls of tapioca, not nearly as many as I'd like.  They were flavorless and didn't even really add much texture.  Meh.

SusieCakes

Update Reviews, April 2021

I used to eat a fair number of SusieCakes cupcakes (and, to a lesser extent, cakes).  Not because I ever particularly loved them, but, because they often wound up at my office up for grabs.  I always found them to be "ok" but not great, although their carrot cake is pretty marvelous, as you've read about before.

I'll spare you a general overview of SusieCakes since I've reviewed it so many times before and just leave you with the latest round of cupcakes, this time all enjoyed at a birthday party, during socially distanced COVID days, where cutting cakes and passing around cake slices was not the thing to do.

Red Velvet.

"Deep red, moist cake lightly flavored with cocoa, topped with traditional cream cheese frosting."

I've had this before, and never found it remarkable, but, I wanted something other than chocolate and vanilla, and it was the only other option at the party.

The frosting didn't taste very strongly of cream cheese, but it did have a bit of a tang, and was more interesting than the standard vanilla frosting from SusieCakes.

The cake itself was good -  moist, dense, some slight flavor to it, light cocoa?

Overall, "fine", but not remarkable.  More interesting than vanilla.  ***.

Red Velvet: Inside.

I had forgotten that SusieCakes always sorta stuffs their cupcakes, this one seemed even legit stuffed, down to the core.  They use a great amount of frosting on top to begin with, so this generous amount of additional frosting inside is just a lovely bonus.

Vanilla Blue.

"Vanilla cupcake with SusieBlue vanilla buttercream frosting."

Vanilla-vanilla? Now that is, too "vanilla".  Bo-ring.  SusieCakes jazzes up the basic vanilla cupcake with vanilla buttercream to use a "signature retro-blue vanilla frosting", just like their signature celebration cake.

Spoiler: no, it doesn't taste "blue".  It is just sweet buttercream, I don't really taste vanilla, just, very very sweet buttercream.   It is a bit cloying.  The color is fun though, and I loved the confetti sprinkles.

The cake itself was good, standard vanilla, but moist, good crumb.  Nothing spectacular, but good.

Overall,  also "fine", cake better than frosting, and not one I'd ever seek out.

***.

Update: I found I prefer this warmed up, with the frosting kinda melted into a glaze, and a scoop of sweet ice cream ... then it was ***+.

Chocolate Vanilla.

"Chocolate cupcake with vanilla buttercream frosting."

Next up, chocolate cupcake, classic white vanilla buttercream.

The frosting tasted the same as the blue version, just, very sweet.  Eh.

The cake was ok, moist, decent chocolate flavor.

Again, overall, "fine", better cake than frosting, but not particularly interesting.

***.

Chocolate Chocolate.

"Chocolate cupcake with chocolate buttercream frosting."

And last but not least, the double chocolate: chocolate cake with chocolate frosting.

This frosting was actually fairly distinct, although also quite sweet.  It did have a fudge-like chocolate nature to it.

Cake was the same as the previous cupcake, moist enough, ok chocolate flavor.

Slightly more interesting than the chocolate vanilla version due to the more intensely flavored buttercream, but still just ***.

Update: Of course, once I warmed it, and paired it with salted caramel cocoa nib ice cream (!), it was magical.  Even ****.  Something about warm chocolate cake and ice cream just does it for me ...

Update Reviews, 2019-2020

People in my office order a lot of desserts for celebrations, and luckily for me, they share leftovers.  With a location nearby, SusieCakes makes a fairly regular appearance, usually just cupcakes, but, over the years, I've now had the chance to try a very large number of items.

You can start with my earlier reviews (below), that were good but not great, and then come back here for more context.

Well, I'm sold on SusieCakes now. Some of the items aren't that great, but, their hits are *serious* hits. This is likely my favorite carrot cake in the bay area, the seasonal pumpkin items (bread pudding, pumpkin cheesecake) were top notch, and I've even found new favorites in the cupcake lineup that I truly enjoy.

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Seasonal Layer Cake: Red, White & Blueberry Vanilla Cake. July 2019.

"Four layers of vanilla cake layered with fresh strawberries, blueberries, and a light vanilla pudding, frosted with fresh whipped cream."

I had a previous version of this cake, and didn't care for it much at all.  But this?  This was delicious.

The cake was super moist, with a slight buttermilk tang, and the pudding component made it all that much more moist.  The berries were juicy and sweet.  The whipped cream made it almost come together like a strawberry shortcake.

I really enjoyed it, and went back for seconds literally immediately.  Would gladly get again.

Seasonal: Strawberry Rosé. (August 2019).

"Our vanilla cupcake infused with pink champagne and baked with fresh strawberries, frosted with a pink champagne buttercream."

I was drawn in to this one, which turned out to be a seasonal speciality, mostly because it looked different from all other SusieCakes cupcakes.  The frosting was piped differently, there were no contrasting colorful sprinkles.

I tasted the frosting first, thinking it would likely taste like strawberries, as it was pink, but I didn't taste the berry flavor I was expecting.  Instead, it was sweet, but had a slightly more subtle flavor that I couldn't pinpoint.  It didn't seem like the standard SusieCakes pink vanilla buttercream either.

Of course, once I looked it up, I found that indeed, it wasn't the plain vanilla buttercream, it was pink champagne buttercream.  I certainly wouldn't have identified it that way, but, it was still good, although very, very, very sweet.  More on that soon.

Although the cake is named "rosé", after the sparkling wine I imagine, I'm fairly certain the distinct piping job was done to look like a rose flower, and it really was pretty.  It glistened with white pearl sugars on top.

Seasonal: Strawberry Rosé: Inside.

The rest of this cupcake is what made it more interesting however.

The cake was ... well, quite different from all others I've had from SusieCakes.  Their cupcakes tend to be very perfectly baked, never dry, never crispy on the exterior, and certainly never underbaked.  So I was fairly surprised when I cut into this one, to find that it seemed gooey.

The cake was loaded with fresh strawberries, which clearly just added a ton of moisture to it.  It also seemed like it hadn't risen all the way.  I actually really liked this, and didn't mind that the cake wasn't really cake-like, and was more like a strawberry mush with some cake around it, but if you want a normal cake base, this isn't it.  It was sweet and fruity, and I enjoyed it.

The one negative thing I'll say though is that the ratio of frosting to cake was just too off on this one.  I do love how SusieCakes is insanely generous with the frosting (ok, really, a bit too generous, but I still love it), but this one, I think due to the deflated nature of the cake base, was literally 70% frosting to 30% cake, which, given the very sweet frosting, was just too much.  Even I couldn't quite handle too many bites of just frosting.

Still a fun seasonal one, and I was glad to try it.

Strawberry. August 2019.

 "Vanilla cupcake with strawberry buttercream frosting."

Simple vanilla cake, well baked, consistent texture, good crumb.  Sweet, quite strawberry forward frosting.  Complimentary colored sprinkles.  I was impressed with just how fruity that got the frosting.

Nothing particular novel, nor negative with this cupcake.  If you like vanilla cake, and strawberry frosting, go for this, a well made cupcake.

Chocolate Chocolate / Coconut / Mocha. August 2019).

Mocha.
"Chocolate cupcake with coffee buttercream frosting."

From this box I tried what turned out to be the mocha cupcake.  When I grabbed it, I was hoping for salted caramel or something in that vein, so I was fairly surprised when I tasted it to find bitter coffee flavored frosting.

Once I re-set my expectations however, I did enjoy it - mocha is a good flavor, when you are prepared for it.  Not a flavor I go for often, but, if you like fairly intense coffee flavor, this delivers.

Chocolate Peanut Butter. (August 2019).

"Chocolate cupcake with peanut butter buttercream frosting."

Yes, someone got to this one before me, cutting it in half, but that didn't stop me from snatching up the other half as soon as I realized it was the peanut butter frosted one.  Mmm, peanut butter.

The cake base was good, standard chocolate cake, moist enough.  The frosting was certainly on the sweet side, ok, it was very sweet, but I could still taste enough peanut butter to make me happy.  The chocolate and peanut butter combo is a classic, and it worked as expected here.

This was probably my favorite of the SusieCakes cupcakes, because I'm such a sucker for peanut butter.

October 2019

"Dessert Up for Grabs!!!", read the email sent out to my office, at 4:30pm, on a looong Wednesday the day before Halloween.

Of course I went running, when I found out they were from SusieCakes!

Cakes, cookies, bars ...

This group clearly had a wonderful lineup, as this was what was left over AFTER their event.  Still so many great things to dig into.

And of course I did.

I found some new favorites, and highly, highly recommend the pumpkin items!

Seasonal Fall/Halloween Specials

SusieCakes always has seasonal specials, and the Halloween and fall season was no exception.  Spooky sugar cookies, trick-or-treat bars, apple crumble pie, and of course, pumpkin galore (pumpkin chocolate chip cookies, pumpkin maple cupcakes, pumpkin spice latte layer cake, pumpkin pie), joined a Halloween Celebration cake in the standard seasonal lineup.

I got a chance to try many of these.

Halloween Celebration Cake. ($38.00 for 6", $52.00 for 9")

"Celebration cake baked with black jimmies and orange jimmies with orange buttercream in and out, celebration strokes with spookins border."

I've had mixed success with SusieCakes cakes before, but this one was basically in the success category.  It was the classic funfetti celebration cake, just, turned into a Halloween theme.

The cake base was moist, sweet, and had good buttermilk tang to it.  That tang makes such a difference.  It was studded with seasonal sprinkles rather than the standard funfetti ones, but they didn't really change the taste.

The frosting was orange in color, but didn't taste any different from the other colored buttercreams they use.  Extremely sweet.

Overall, this was a fine, sweet, classic, celebration cake.  My third favorite item though, as the others were actually just amazing.

8" Pumpkin Cheesecake. $39.99.

"Seasonal cheesecake with just the right amount of spice baked on our graham cracker crust, topped with sweetened sour cream and cinnamon."

I generally shutter at pumpkin spice items.  I like pumpkin pie, really do, but pumpkin spice can be so often over used.  A touch too much nutmeg, and ... it just tastes like soap to me.

So when this said "just the right amount of spice", right in the description, I rolled my eyes.  "Yeah, right, that means, too aggressively spiced .... ", I thought.  

I also often dislike cheesecake that is pumpkin, or chocolate, or anything rather than traditional (although I'm all about mix-ins and toppings).  Usually, for me, you get none of the goodness of cheesecake, and just wind up with an unnecessarily heavy item.  

So I took this small chunk, and wished I had taken more.  Because it was actually quite good.  

The crust, far better than average, as it had spice baked into it too, and almost was like a gingersnap, just, a soft one.  The ginger in here went great with the pumpkin spices in the cheesecake itself.  The crust was soft, and broke apart easily, but didn't crumble.  Well, huh.

The cheesecake was rich, thick, creamy, and ... yeah, not too aggressively spiced.  It had plenty of pumpkin pie spices, don't get me wrong, there was no doubt that this was spiced with all the traditional spices, but, they were balanced, and none dominated.  It was one of the best pumpkin cheesecakes I've ever had.

And the topping?  It sealed the deal for me.  Sweetened sour cream, with a touch of tang, and just really complex flavor.  

This delivered on every front, each layer was excellent, and together they created a far above average pumpkin cheesecake.  I really enjoyed this, and would gladly have it again.

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Pumpkin Bread Pudding. Large bowl, $34.

"Moist pumpkin cake in a spiced custard topped with cinnamon whipped cream."

Next I moved on the to pumpkin bread pudding, which, actually just looked like a pumpkin pie baked into a strange container.  I didn't realize it was a bread pudding until much later, which I think is a good thing, as I have certain preferences and expectations with bread pudding, and generally prefer a specific style (distinct chunks of bread, crispy top, moist inside, etc, etc).  This wasn't that at all.

I'll cut to the chase on this one.  It was quite tasty.

Definitely not what I think of as bread pudding, as there were no visible chunks, but rather, it was an extremely dense mass, that, once you dug into it, had pieces that were clearly denser (the soaked bread) and a touch lighter (the custard base).  It was clearly not just a pumpkin pie, and was a bread pudding, but, just this kind.  It was extremely moist, and, as I said, so very dense.  A little went a long way, which I realized a bit too late, as it did kinda sit like a log in my gut when I had far too much.

Much like the pumpkin cheesecake, it was spiced, but not too aggressively.  The pumpkin flavor was even strong in this, perhaps because not cut by the cheesecake.  

This one came with cinnamon whipped cream, fluffy whipped cream, that ... yeah, was NOT too spiced!  The cinnamon just accented it, and didn't overwhelm.  

This was another hit, quite different from the pumpkin cheesecake, and I think it falls in second place to the cheesecake, but just barely.  I'd gladly have it again too.

Bars

SusieCakes makes a large variety of bars, including classics like brownies and lemon squares, that I skipped with no hesitation, as bars are a category I rarely explore, as I'm not generally a big fan, and they fall lower on the list for me than cookies even.  But, when there were plenty of the more interesting ones left, what choice did I have but to try a few?

7-Layer Bar. $3.75.

"Baked with chocolate chips, coconut, & pecans on a graham cracker crust."

7 layer bars, (or 7 layer dips for that matter ...), can be fairly awesome.  Or they can be *nearly* awesome, but have that one layer you hate.  At least, that is how they seem to go for me.

So I approached this with hesitation, only cutting off a small chunk, because I didn't know what all 7 would be, and I didn't want to waste.

What were the 7 layers?  Graham cracker crust, coconut, pecans, chocolate chips, those were all mentioned in the description, and were pretty obvious.  But what about the other 3?  I spied butterscotch chips.  That makes 5 things, but I never found any others.  And really, it was only 2 layers: crust and the rest.

Anyway, this was kinda no different from a generic bake sale item.  Sweetened coconut, decent distribution of butterscotch chips and chocolate chips, proper size chunks of nuts.  Nothing particularly novel about them.  They made up the entire topping.

The base was extremely thick more than half the bar really.

Fruit Crumble Bar. $3.75.

"Blueberry filling baked on a shortbread crust topped with crumble. *Made without dairy & eggs.*"

I say I don't really care for bars, but, I do like fruit crumble in other forms, so this was an easy one to give a try.

The top was very generously covered in thick crumble, which, as it is often my favorite part, made me pretty excited.  It was .. fine?  Not really notable, no interesting flavor (e.g. brown sugar), nothing particularly distasteful about it, but not standout in any way.

Inside was the layer of blueberry filling, much like what you find inside a blueberry danish, rather than juicier and more full bodies like a blueberry pie, crisp, or crumble.  I was bored by it.

And at the base, the part I was most skeptical of, since it is where bars usually fail to impress, a shortbread cookie crust, which sounded far more promising than most.  However, I didn't get any shortbread cookie element from it, it just was thick, dry, and even more boring.

Overall, there was nothing wrong with this bar exactly, but it was just ... boring.

February 2020

Another day, another "come eat our leftover cake" email at my office.  This time was extremely dramatic ... more than half left each of 4 huge cakes: chocolate, celebration, red velvet, and carrot.  I skipped the celebration cake as I've never been a big fan, and the red velvet because I've had it before, and went just for the two that were new to me: chocolate and carrot.  One was a *serious* winner!

Carrot Cake.

"Baked with pecans & golden raisins, layered with our unique “praline filling” & topped with traditional cream cheese frosting."

This was a very, very, very good carrot cake.  Wow.  Every element was A+.

The carrot cake itself was moist, loaded with shredded carrot and raisins for moisture, loaded with pecans for crunch, and smothered in plenty of rich, sweet, kinda perfect cream cheese frosting.  There was tons of frosting, and that was NOT a bad thing.

And then ... what at first I was thrown off by because I hadn't read the description to understand, yes, layers of the praline filing, which was sweet, gooey, and delicious too.

This was unexpected in many ways, and, totally delicious.

OLD-FASHIONED 6-LAYER CHOCOLATE CAKE.

"'Towering high, moist chocolate cake filled and covered in rich, dark chocolate buttercream frosting."

This one wasn't a winner for me.  The cake wasn't particularly moist nor rich chocolatey, the frosting was a fine texture but again, not very special.  It was all "fine", but not exciting.

Update Review, January 2019

Sure, I've never been in love with SusieCakes cupcakes before (see my original review, or update review from 2016), but, I was actually *really* craving cupcakes one day, when ...

Cupcake Box!

I walked into a micro kitchen at my office and found an abandoned box of cupcakes, many of which had been cut into halves or quarters, meaning I could try several kinds!

Thank you, random person who brought in extra cupcakes.

Red Velvet.

"Deep red, moist cake lightly flavored with cocoa, topped with traditional cream cheese frosting."

I first went for the red velvet, dressed up a bit for the February holidays (even though it was only January!).

It was better than I remembered, a moist cake, although the flavor of the cake itself was fairly muted.  The cream cheese frosting was rich, creamy, and had good cream cheese flavor.

A very decent, standard red velvet cupcake.

Lemon.

"Vanilla cupcake with lemon buttercream frosting." 

I moved on to the yellow sprinkle topped one, which I worried might be lemon, and, indeed, was.  Boo, hiss.  I dislike lemon desserts.  Luckily, there was one of these cut up and that is what I went for, just a tiny chunk.  If it wasn't lemon, or I loved it, I could take the whole one, otherwise, leave it for someone who will appreciate!

The frosting was sweet lovely buttercream, but alas, very strongly lemon flavored.  If you like lemon desserts, this was probably great?

Seasonal Special: Banana Chocolate Chip.

"Banana cupcake baked with chocolate chips, frosted with cream cheese buttercream."

And finally, I went for one that I had no idea what it was.  It looked like it might have some kind of chocolate component, I could sorta see something darker in the cake, and it did have the chocolate sprinkles on top.   It turned out to be the seasonal special: banana chocolate chip.  Doh.  I can't say the idea of a banana cupcake excited me, except for the brief moment I thought, "hmm, can I save that for breakfast to have like banana bread?  It isn't like it has that much frosting on it, and the frosting is like cream cheese anyway ..."

So, uh, yeah, I saved it for morning, and pulled out alongside a cup of coffee - *after* I had a small bowl of cereal, I'm totally responsible!  The frosting was good, the same thick, rich, cream cheese frosting from the red velvet.  But the cake?  Sure it was moist, sure it was studded with regular size generic chocolate chips, but it was also ... banana.  I do not care for banana flavor.

Not the cupcake for me, but well made, and I liked the frosting.

Strawberry.

"Vanilla cupcake with strawberry buttercream frosting."

Finally, I went for the pink frosted one, not sure if it was the "vanilla pink" or the "strawberry", as both feature vanilla cake and pink buttercream.  I believe this was the vanilla pink, as it matches their photo of the vanilla pink, although the frosting just tasted like fluffy sweet buttercream, tasty in a very sweet way, but not strawberry.

The cake was fine, dense, vanilla cake.

I appreciate the generous amount of frosting SusieCakes uses, in particular, it tends to extend down into the cupcake a bit, as if quasi-stuffed.

Update Review, November 2016

I've encountered SusieCakes several times before.  I wasn't ever impressed with their basic cupcakes, but I did find their sugar cookies to be above average, and their fancy cakes had promise.  So I was happy to try more of their products when we had them for an event.

Election Day Assortment.

For election day, our office got voting themed cookies and cupcakes.  I was a bit disappointed by the assortment, since I don't ever really like cookies and  didn't like their cupcakes before, but I still eagerly dove in.

We had one type of cookie (iced sugar cookie) and 4 types of cupcakes: red velvet, chocolate, vanilla, and flourless chocolate.  The flourless chocolate turned out to be amazing.

Frosted Sugar Cookie.  $3.25.

"Thin, buttery and tender cookies with decorative royal icing."

The cookies were simple sugar cookies coated in icing, the same as I had before, just a different themed shape this time.  Sweet cookie, sweet icing, fairly classic.  Nothing earth shattering, but actually a pretty good sugar cookie.

Red Velvet Cupcake.

"Deep red, moist cake lightly flavored with cocoa, topped with traditional cream cheese frosting. "

The red velvet cupcake was, well, a standard red velvet cupcake.  Moist enough cake, although fairly plain tasting.  It had a slight red velvet tang from what I imagine was buttermilk, but it wasn't particularly strong.

The cream cheese frosting was great though, very cream-cheesy, and there was plenty of it.

Overall, a solid, but standard, cupcake, and since I'm not a big cupcake lover, it was just kinda ok.

Red Velvet (May 2017).

I had another red velvet a few months later, and was even less impressed.  There was no tang or interest to the cake (although, it was moist).  The frosting, while it tasted like cream cheese, also wasn't great.  Everything about this was highly mediocre.

The decorations, for Easter, were cute though.

Flourless Chocolate Cupcake with Vanilla Buttercream.

The flourless chocolate cupcake however was glorious.

The cake was a rich, dense, very chocolatey cake, more like a brownie than a moist cake, which makes sense, since it was flowerless.  The top was slightly crispy, just as I like.

The frosting was just sweet vanilla buttercream, but it complimented the rich cake very well.  And there was plenty of it.

Overall, a fantastic cupcake, and I'd gladly eat a dozen myself.

Update: We had plenty of these left over, so I ended up saving and freezing some.  I defrosted one in the fridge overnight, and it came out great.  The cake was still dense, chocolately, and fantastic.  The frosting though, just sweet.  Meh.  I actually removed most of it, and just enjoyed the cake, which is a bit miraculous, given that I only usually eat cake for 1) the frosting or 2) accompanying ice cream.  Which, actually, probably would have gone great.

Original Review, January 2015

SusieCakes is, you guessed it, a cake shop, or more accurately, a chain of cake shops, located throughout both Northern and Southern California.  They are known for their speciality and custom layer cakes, including "Susie's Famous Southern Red Velvet", but they also make cupcakes, cheesecake, puddings, pies, brownies, and cookies.  When you enter the shop, it is hard to look past the cakes though, as most are 4-6 layers, quite impressive looking.

The San Francisco location is located in the Marina, right on Chestnut Street.  Service is always fairly friendly, and they generally have a sample of one of their specialty cakes out on the counter, which I of course love.  The cakes I've tried have all been quite tasty, and I like their cookies, but the cupcakes I didn't like.

I'd love to return though to try their pudding, since I love puddings, and theirs come complete with whipped cream.  I also just saw whoopie pies on the menu, which always bring back nostalgia for me.  And, if I were ever ordering a full cake, I'd definitely consider SusieCakes, since, as I said, I've liked the cakes.

Cookies

Pumpkin Halloween Sugar Cookie.  $3.25.

"Thin buttery and tender cookies with decorative royal icing."

I'm not generally one to gravitate towards cookies, but a co-worker brought in assorted decorated cookies for Halloween, and they were too cute not to try.  Plus, look at at the icing!

It was a very classic sugar cookie.  Nice and soft, not hard and crisp like they sometimes can be.  There was shiny, sweet icing on top, a bit crunchy, but I liked that.  Sprinkles ... for fun and more sugar.

It was a cute shape, nicely decorated, and was quite tasty for such a simple cookie.  I'd eat another (and in fact, went back and had a ghost shaped one later, which was just as tasty).  I've seen adorable turkey cookies for Thanksgiving too, so they clearly have fun with seasonal shapes.

It was a large cookie, but $3.25 for such a basic cookie did seem steep, although I guess the decorating time is really what you pay for.

Cupcakes

Mini Vanilla Cupcake with Vanilla Frosting.  $20/dozen.

Another day, someone brought in mini cupcakes from SusieCakes.  Again, not my favorite dessert item, but, how do I resist trying a dessert?

I love frosting, but there was just way too much of it on this cupcake.  It was just sweet, I didn't taste any vanilla, and didn't have a great mouthfeel.  It tasted like ... butter.  Just butter.  Ok, sweet butter.  The cake itself was somewhere in-between moist and dry, just kinda there.  It also didn't have any flavor.

I did not like this at all.

Mini Chocolate Cupcake with Chocolate Frosting.  $20/dozen.

I was so disappointed by the vanilla, that I also tried the chocolate version.

It was better than the vanilla, but only slightly.  Again, the cake was somewhere in-between moist and dry, just kinda there, but at least it had decent chocolate flavor.  The frosting was also better, again it had a decent chocolate level, so there was something to it.

But overall, not a winner, and I wouldn't get again.

Cakes

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Tropical Coconut Cake. $6.25/slice.

“Vanilla cake layered with pineapple accented coconut filling & topped with fluffy coconut buttercream and shredded coconut”.

This was actually pretty good, and I bought a slice after trying the sample.  So enticing!

The cake was moist and fruity from the pineapple and coconut filling.  There was perhaps too much shredded coconut on top, so it somewhat overwhelmed.  The buttercream was also quite good, which makes me think that something may have just gone wrong with the batch I had on the vanilla cupcake?  I'm not sure how it could be so good on the cake, and so very bad on the cupcake.

The price for this was rather high though, $6.25 for a single slice.  Full sized round cakes are also available, $36 for 6", or $49 for 9", or you can go the sheet cake route, $215 for a full sheet, $110 for half, or $75 for a quarter.

Vanilla Celebration Cake. $49 / 9 inch round.

"6-layers of vanilla cake baked with colorful sugar confetti, filled & frosted with our signature retro-blue vanilla frosting."

To celebrate a co-worker's birthday, a co-worker brought in the aptly named "Celebration Cake".  It was a beautiful, 6 layer high creation, fairly stunning, particularly when sliced so you could see the confetti throughout the base cake.

The cake itself was just a vanilla cake, although studded with the pops of color.  It was just basic cake, not too dry, not too moist, not very exciting.  The frosting was a cool minty-blue color, so I thought it was flavored, but alas, it was just flavored sweet.  It was creamy, good enough frosting, but still, just plain sweet frosting.

This cake wasn't bad, but it was far more exciting looking than it tasted.  Festive, but boring.

Update August 2017: Another birthday, another celebration cake.  I felt exactly the same way about it.  The cake was ... fine, but boring.  Not too dry, but not interesting.  And the frosting looked far better than it was, it was just sweet, sweet, sweet.

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SEASONAL SPECIALTY CAKE: Berry Vanilla.

"Four layers of our vanilla cake with a light vanilla pudding, fresh strawberries & blueberries topped with whipped cream."

This was ... fine.  I liked the ideas behind it, but the fruit itself wasn't particularly flavorful, juicy, or ripe, and the whipped cream and pudding were unremarkable ... as was the plain vanilla cake.

Overall, everything was made well, moist cake, etc, but, it didn't add up to anything special.

Heartbrand Ice Creams, Europe

Update Review, 2020 Tasting

Yup, I've reviewed Heartbrand ice cream several times before, in Europe (below), and their equivalent in Australia (Streets).  So I'm quite familiar with their version of Drumsticks, dubbed "Cornettos".

I've always found Cornettos to be slightly better than similar US treats, but not exactly something I'd travel across the world for.  Ok, I still wouldn't travel just to get these, but, when I tried another variety last time I was in Munich, I deemed them the best Cornetto thus far ... 

Cookies & Dream Cornetto.

"Cookie flavoured ice cream with chocolate drops and core of cocoa sauce, in a cocoa wafer cone  with a cocoa coating, topped by a cocoa compound disc and cocoa cookie granules on top."

Um, wow, this was good.  Chocolate in so many forms.

I loved the disk of chocolate on top, thick, chocolately, and with some chocolate cookie bits on top for extra crunch.

The ice cream was decently creamy, melted nicely, and had bits of chocolate cookie all throughout, plus more chocolate sauce in the middle.  Lots of textures and good flavors.

The cone was even more interesting than usual, as it was a chocolate cone.  Not actually remarkable, but, different.   It was lined with even more chocolate, and had a ton of chocolate in the tip too.

Although there was a lot of chocolate in here - the cone, the lining of the cone, the core, the bits, the topping, it wasn't overly chocoaltely, balanced quite nicely by the ice cream.

I really enjoyed this, more than any other Cornetto.

Update Review, 2016

I've reviewed standard Heartbrand ice cream several times before.  But this is different.

When I was in Lisbon, I found a froyo shop that I kinda fell in love with, called Weeel, for their crazy liquid "rafaweeel" and quality fruit toppings (stay tuned!).  So a few days later, when Ojan and I were strolling through Cascais, I couldn't get ice cream, froyo, and other frozen treats out of my head, particularly when people kept walking by with cones in their hand.  I needed some.

Except, all we could find was gelato.  I wanted soft serve, not hard serve.  Frozen yogurt or ice cream, I didn't care which, but, I wanted soft serve.  Shop after shop had images of frozen delights in cones, but all were hard style gelato.  Gelato, gelato, everywhere.  Eventually, the sun started going down, it got much colder, and I stopped wanting ice cream quite so much.

Cornetto Soft Sign.

And then I saw a sign.  It showed soft serve ... Cornettos?  I didn't understand, but, I was interested.  I thought Cornettos were just pre-packaged frozen desserts, that I've reviewed many times (in Australia and elsewhere in Europe).

The flavors shown on the sign were strawberry, chocolate (chip?), hazelnut, vanilla, and caramel (at least, I think that is what they were?)

I had to go investigate further.

 My Cornetto Machine.

"The My Cornetto dispenser is so simple to use and maintain compared with commercial ice cream machines. Just plug in, insert your bottle and you’re ready to go!"

When I approached, I didn't see a normal soft serve machine.  I saw a plastic thing, that didn't even seem to take electricity, with a pile of cones nearby and a freezer.

And then I saw other customers order ice cream.  The store worker pulled out a plastic cartridge, put it into the machine, pulled the handle, and out came soft serve, directly into a cone.  What??!!

I found out later that the magic dispenser is called a "My Cornetto machine".  It is marketed as far easier to maintain than a traditional soft serve machine, and far more economical.  It seems to exist in a handful of countries, including Australia and New Zealand.

The cartridges look like push pops, and are frozen in a regular freezer, and just pulled out when someone orders an ice cream.  So, still just packaged ice cream.

Cornetto Soft, Caramel.

I quickly stepped up and ordered the caramel one.

When it was ready, the cone was handed over, as was the cartridge.  The server demonstrated that I should lick the remaining ice cream out of it.  No problem, I'm totally the girl who is always in the kitchen licking every spoon, bowl, beater!

Sure, what I was given didn't look like the photos, as the top didn't have a nice peak.  And, well, it clearly wasn't "real" soft serve, instead, it was ice cream extruded through a machine.  But it *was* fairly soft.

It seemed to have vanilla ice cream and caramel ice cream swirled together, and maybe some caramel sauce too?  And chocolate coated crispy things and caramel coated crispies?  I'm really not sure.

I liked it, partially out of novelty.  The caramel was very sweet however, so, I did need to take little breaks while eating it to not get a sweet overload.  I loved the crunchy things, whatever they were.  They kept me addicted, just like cookie dough bits in a pint, that you want to just keep digging for another one.

Certainly an interesting experience, better than just getting a pre-packaged ice cream at a convenience store, and I'd do it again, likely trying another flavor.

Update Review, October 2016

Another year, more travels to European offices with ice cream freezers, and thus, more chances to try Heartbrand ice cream.  As always, I suggest you start with my original review, if you want more background.

Nogger

In our Munich office, they had many fantastic ice cream selections so it took me a while to try the strangely named "Nogger" novelties, as they looked like kinda standard ice cream bars on sticks.  It turns out, the Nogger is the best selling ice cream novelty in Germany, and has been around since 1964.

But finally, I did try it, both the regular and the "choc" versions.  What is a Nogger?  My understanding is that the name "Nogger" comes from "nougat" a key component of the bars.  At one time there was also a "Nogger Black", with a black licorice coating (which sounds pretty interesting to me), but it turned into a racial controversy and was removed from the market.  

Nogger Choc.

Ok, so I let this one get a bit too melty.

That aside, this was a very good ice cream!

The center was "Nugatkremfüllung", er, nougat cream.  Basically, it was like nutella, in a slightly thicker form, still quite soft though.  It was crazy delicious.

Surrounding that was decent vanilla ice cream, needed to balance out all the chocolate and nut flavors.

The shell was milk chocolate studded with crunchy "weißen Nugat" (white nougat) and "Zwiebackstückchen" (biscuit pieces).  The shell had a nice snap to it.

Overall, every element of this bar was pretty good on its own, but it really combined together nicely.  Almost-liquid nutella-like center, creamy ice cream, crunchy, snappy shell?  Awesome.  I'd gladly get another.

Nogger.

After the success of the Nogger Choc, I tried the original Nogger.

It wasn't nearly as good.  The milk chocolate shell with bits of nougat was still good, the vanilla ice cream was still good, but, I didn't care for the center.  It was just ... chocolate ice cream, not particularly creamy.  Meh.  Stick with the Nogger Choc.

Magnum

I've had many Magnum bars in various locations, mostly in Sydney where they are sold under the Streets brand, but also a few last time I was in Germany.  None have been remarkable, but they are a solid choice, and I enjoy trying new flavors.

Pink Raspberry.

"Raspberry Ice cream with raspberry sauce, coated in milk chocolate, and an outer pink coating."

Well, meh.  This as pretty, but, that is about it.

The shell was a thick milk chocolate, coated in shiny pink.  It was really quite lovely, but, a lot of chocolate for the size of the bar.

The ice cream was raspberry flavored, very raspberry, kinda tart.  It was decently creamy, but I didn't care for the flavor.

I never found any raspberry sauce ...

Original Review, May 2014

As I mentioned last week, I was recently on a business trip in Zurich, where my office had ice cream freezers seemingly everywhere, always fully stocked.  As you can imagine, I ate a lot of ice cream in my few days there.

It was there that I discovered Mövenpick, probably the best commercially prepared ice cream I've had.  But I also got to try a slew of novelty ice creams by Heartbrand.

Unilever is a ridiculously huge company (the 3rd largest consumer goods company in the world actually), comprising 400+ brands, a slew of which are ice cream related.  They are the world's largest ice cream manufacturer.  They tend to make mostly the same treats in every country, just with different names for the products, and even for the product lines themselves. You know them in the US as Good Humor.  They even own Ben & Jerry's.  In Zurich, they sell under the Heartbrand name, which is what I got to enjoy on my trip.

Solero

When I first tried these, they reminded me so much of a treat I discovered when I was living in Sydney: the Pine-Lime Splice.  I adored these things.  Creamy vanilla ice cream inside, fruity lime ice outside.   On a hot day, there was nothing like standing outside in the sun, a pine-lime splice in hand, with the icy outer shell getting just soft enough to almost drip down your arm, the ice cream getting perfectly melty ... oh, I loved them so.

So I was a bit shocked when I had my first Solero, as it reminded me of a splice.  But the splice is made by Streets.  These were made by Heartbrand.  How could it be ...

First, Heartbrand is Unilever's largest ice cream line.  And, turns out, one of the slew of companies that Unilever owns is ... Streets!  And in Australia only, they sell Splices.  In other countries, they sell Solero bars.  Same concept, although in totally different flavors.  Well, no wonder these reminded me of my precious Splices!

(Side note: why do we not have any of these in the US?  Or do we, and they just aren't that popular?)

The most impressive part about Soleros (and Splices), is that they are really not that decadent.  ~100  calories each.  Sure, they aren't huge.  They aren't coated in chocolate or candy.  The ice cream inside is low fat.  But, they sure don't taste like you are skimping on anything, and are some of the most satisfying ice cream treats I've ever enjoyed.  And at ~100 calories each, you can have absolutely no guilt about having an ice cream every day.  Or two.  Or three.  Not that I've ever done that, of course ...

Solero Exotic.

"With delicious mango and pineapple pieces, Solero Exotic really is the perfect treat to cool you down in the summer sun"

Just like a Splice, the inside was creamy vanilla ice cream, with a icy "exotic" slush outside.  The slush had a nice mango-y flavor, and I do like the combination of vanilla ice cream and mango slush, but, this was just too sweet.   It appears that Solero bars also have a swirl of sweet sauce inside the ice cream.  The wrapper bragged that it had 30% more sauce.  More than what?  I guess it used to have less?  Perhaps I would have preferred the old version, as this was just way too sweet for me, and I have a sweet tooth.  Even the creamy vanilla ice cream inside couldn't cut the sweet.  Without the extra sauce inside, I might have liked it.

Solero Berry Berry.

"A fruit-lover’s dream. Indulge in the smooth centre and gorgeous fruit sorbet coating with delicious real fruit pieces".

The ice cream, or sortbet I guess, inside was incredibly creamy.  Nice berry flavor.  I don't understand how they can make it so creamy without adding tons of fat.  The quality of the ice cream/sorbet inside is much higher than most novelty ice creams in the US.

I loved the way both layers melted, the ice cream getting even creamier, the icy coating getting soft.  The outside was refreshing, like a popsicle, but balanced nicely by the creamy inside.  This one really reminded me of a Splice, and, although I still prefer a Pine-lime Splice, I enjoyed this quite a bit.

Cornetto

Cornetto is Heartbrand's line of ice cream cones.  Unlike Drumsticks by Nestlé, the cones actually stay crispy and don't get soggy, but, just like Drumsticks, they are made with ice cream that fails to impress.

Cheesecake Glory Cornetto.

"Cheesecake ice cream and strawberry ice cream with a core of raspberry sauce with muffin and chocolate chips".

This sounded amazing: "cheesecake glory"!  How could you go wrong with that.  Plus, the packaging was much nicer than the packaged ice cream cones we get here, as it had a clear top, so you could see all the goodies on top.

Sadly, it looked, and sounded, much better than it was.  The ice cream inside, both the cheesecake and strawberry flavors, were very low quality.  They weren't remotely creamy.

The raspberry sauce was a fun touch, but, was just too sweet.

And the "muffin" bits on top were soggy and off-putting.  Also, why were there muffin pieces on a cheesecake creation?  Shouldn't they have at least been graham cracker crust bits or something?

The only redeeming part of this item is that the cone somehow did magically stay crisp, and didn't get soggy.

I didn't even bother finish this.

Erdbeer Fraise Cornetto.

"Ice cream with vanilla and strawberry sorbet with strawberry sauce, waffle and chocolate glaze. "

The packaging was all in Swiss, so I had no idea what I was getting.  Reading my notes was rather funny, once I looked it up online and found out what I had instead.

I thought the vanilla ice cream was "supposed to be whipped cream", although I noted that it was more like vanilla ice cream than whipped cream.

The strawberry sorbet I correctly identified as sorbet, not ice cream, but I thought it was raspberry.  It was very icy and not smooth.

Side View.

Like the other cone, the only really good part about this was the cone itself, it somehow stayed crispy. And, the chocolate lining of course.  But, still, I wouldn't get another.

Magnum

Magnum bars were introduced to the US in 2011, although I've never had one here.  But when I was in Sydney, Magnum bars were everywhere, although, sold there under the Streets label (but still called Magnum bars).  In Zurich, they are sold under the Heartbrand line.

Magnums come in a slew of flavors.  In Sydney, I tried all the standard ones, generally chocolate coated.

Magnum White.

"Rich vanilla ice cream, smothered in sweet, decadent white chocolate."

This was a fairly standard offering, although, like most Unilever products, it seemed a step above the confections we get in the US.

The ice cream inside was vanilla, it even seemed to have little bits of vanilla bean.  It wasn't amazing, but it was pretty good.  The coating was thick, and very creamy, sweet white chocolate.  White chocolate has a bad reputation, but sometimes you just want something sweet, and this fit the bill.

I don't really see a reason to get another one of these, but I happily finished it.

Kids

Push Up Haribo.

"Creamy ice cream with vanilla flavor and fruity strawberry sauce with a very special feature: Haribo Gold Bears in the solid stem."

Ok, I admit it, I got this one just for fun.  I had zero expectations for it.  But, it had GUMMY BEARS in the stem!  Sure, I dislike Haribo gummy bears in the first place, but come on, how could I not try this?

It was the worst of all the products I tried.  The ice cream was super low quality, not at all creamy, very icy.  The "fruity strawberry sauce" was just sweet.  And, you couldn't even access the gummy bears until you ate all the crappy ice cream.  Serious meh!