CLIF Bars

Why do so many sports/nutrition bars always sound SOOO good, but then, well, taste like nutrition bars?  While there are a few brands of these sorts of grab-n-go bars that I actually like (such as Perfect Bars, which I genuinely like), most tend to have a odd texture, bad aftertaste, or leave my stomach feeling unsettled (whey protein and my stomach are not friends).  And yet, I do keep trying them, because I often want an easy snack on hand when I'm out and about.  Plus, I'll admit, I can get drawn in by the flavor names.  

These days, you certainly have your choice of sports and nutrition bars to pick from.  Every grocery store, corner store, even vending machine will give you options for bars, some vegan, some high protein, some high maintenance that require refrigeration, etc.  So many choices.  But back in the day, there was CLIF, the original pioneer in the market, started back in 1992, and mainly targeted at hikers.  Now CLIF makes many different product lines, such as the classic CLIF energy bars, high protein BUILDERS bars, crunchy granola CRUNCH bars, trail mix style MOJO bars, and the children's Zbar line, along with the spin-off brand, LUNA, which is bars specially designed for women (that I've reviewed before), cereals, and gels.  So many products.  But back to those flavor names that draw me in.

"Spiced Pumpkin Pie", "Peanut Toffee Buzz", "Peanut Butter Pretzel", "Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough", "S'mores", "Caramel Nut Brownie" ... these are just some of the enticing product names from CLIF.  I've tried many of their products over the years, most I don't really care for, but I do sometimes find a hit (and I'll admit I don't mind most of the kids Zbars).s

Classic Clif Bars

"CLIF BAR® Energy Bar is the first bar we made, and it’s still everything we’re about. Nutritious, organic ingredients. Performance nutrition. And great taste. Whether you’re on a 150-mile bike ride or exploring a new trail, this energy bar is built to sustain your adventure."

The original product from the company is the signature CLIF energy bars.  They are all pretty much the same, made with mostly organic ingredients, focus is on sustained energy, a good blend of carbs, protein, and fiber.  They are designed to be eaten at least an hour before hard exercise, or afterwards as a recovery item.  They aren't really meant to just be snack foods, and uh, taste that way.  Maybe this is good, because if they tasted as good as their names, I'd probably try to eat them as snacks.

The base for the bars is all the same, a mix of oats, brown rice syrup, soy butter, and date paste, along with some Clif special mixtures: ClifPro® (made from a bunch of soy products) and ClifCrunch® (made from assorted products to add fiber).  This gives them all the same texture, just kinda mushy, very dense, with some oats in it.  The flavor variety comes from the mix-ins and drizzles on top, that sound good, but never really save the bars.  These things don't taste bad per se, but I don't know why I'd ever want to eat one.  Unless I was needing it for athletic nutrition.  Which ... gee, I guess that is what they are for after all ...

Sierra Trail Mix Clif Bar.

"Bringing together timeless trail mix ingredients such as peanuts, raisins, chocolate and seeds."

Mmm, who doesn't like trail mix (always called GORP in my household ... aka, "good old raisins and peanuts", usually made with M&Ms too).

This sounded like the most promising Clif bar to me.  It was their standard base, with added peanuts, chocolate chips, raisins, and pumpkin and sunflower seeds.

Like all the bars, it wasn't bad, but it wasn't very good.  The right thing for hiking, or sports recovery, but not something you'd ever want to just grab to eat.  Or at least, I don't.  **+.

Peanut Toffee Buzz.

"Crunchy peanut toffee meets roasted peanuts and organic peanut butter."

Now, this sounded good.  Crunchy toffee? Roasted peanuts?  Peanut butter?  Plus it contains caffeine from green tea extract, hence, the "buzz" part of the name.

It even looks good, drizzled with something on top.  But ... it is still a Clif bar.  The little bits of toffee were tasty, as were the chunks of peanuts, but, the texture and flavor of the base is just really not good.  I need to remember that I never actually like Clif bars and stop trying these!  **+.

Chocolate Chip Peanut Crunch.

"Chocolate chips and crunchy peanuts for serious satisfaction."

Ok, so I never like regular Clif bars, but ... chocolate chips and peanuts sounded so promising.

But chocolate chips and peanuts don't make up for a bar that is made from soy protein isolate, soybeans, oats and oat fiber, and strange flours.

Sure, the bits of chocolate and peanut "crunch" looked appealing, but they weren't actually tastable in the bar given the other dominant ingredients.

I don't like Clif bars.  *+.

Chocolate Chip Peanut Crunch.
(2023 Update).

"Chocolate chips and crunchy peanuts for serious satisfaction."

I was drawn in to this bar by the name, as, well, I like chocolate chips, peanuts, and crunchy things, but forgot that I had tried it, and not cared for it, years ago.

Given the first ingredient in the name, "chocolate chip", I was surprised to see so few chocolate chips.  This is not a chocolate dominant, or even all that noticeable, bar.  There was decent texture ("crunch") from the bits of peanut and protein isolate crisps, and very light peanut flavor, but mostly, it tasted like Clif fake chemical mixes.  

It had a nice chew, and is a bar that eats nicely, but, you really have to like the taste of the classic Clif mix, which, I don't.  **.

White Chocolate Macadamia Nut.

"Roasted macadamia nuts meet creamy, scrumptious white chocolate flavor."

I know I should give up but ... white chocolate and macadamia nuts are things I love!

The first time I had this, I liked the sweet white chocolate nuts, but couldn't really find the macadamia nuts.  I noted it was "the best Clif bar I’ve had, but I didn’t LOVE it.".

So I tried it again.

I was much less impressed this time.  As always, I hated the base.  I still didn't find anything I'd identify as a macadamia nut.  And I didn't find white chocolate really either.  There *were* white soft chunks, that seemed like they should be white chocolate, but, they instead tasted mostly like ... nothing?

Do not like. *.

Peanut Toffee Buzz.

"Crunchy peanut toffee meets roasted peanuts and organic peanut butter."
Surely this would be good right?  Peanuts? Toffee? Peanut butter and peanuts were early in the ingredient list.  I had hope.

I shouldn't have.  Still a Clif bar.  Still just such an awful mushy texture, awful taste from all the protein isolates.

I hunted for peanuts, as I could see bits of peanut, but, alas, they weren't really to be found.  I didn't taste any peanut.

I hunted for toffee, and what I found were little bits of soft mush, kinda sweet.  Was that the toffee?  It wasn't worth seeking out.

I have no idea what the icing drizzle on top was.

The "buzz" comes from green tea extract, also, not something I detected.

Sigh, Clif bars. *.

Blueberry Crisp.

"Inspired by the home-baked flavor of blueberry crisp fresh from the oven."

Great blueberry flavor, aroma of a blueberry muffin, dried blueberries soft and sweet, nice crunch from chopped almonds, and then ... the Clif bar funk.  #stillAClifBar *+.

Oatmeal Raisin Walnut.

"Plump raisins, sweet cinnamon and organic rolled oats combine for ol’ fashioned, home-baked goodness."

Great aroma.  Almost seemed like it was going to be a pleasant oatmeal raisin cookie-like experience.

And then it was a Clif Bar.  Horrible texture, strange flavor. Did not like. *.

Carrot Cake.

"Warm, sweet spices paired with the fresh taste of carrots, raisins & apples."

I don't know about you, but when I think of carrot cake, the spices, raisins, and apples (?) aren't exactly my focus.  Carrot cake is all about the cream cheese frosting!  I thought this would be drizzled with some kind of healthy icing, but alas, it wasn't.

I also don't think of soy protein isolate, soybeans, oat fiber, rolled oats, etc, obviously.

So the base of this met my Clif bar expectations, even though not my carrot cake expectations: horrible flavor and texture, lots of weird stuffs going on in there.  It did had actual chunks of carrots, and some classic carrot cake spicing (nutmeg, cinnamon, cloves), so, I'll give them that. *+.

Carrot Cake: Detail.

The thing that really surprised me was the white chunks, visible here on the underside.  Given the ingredient list, and description, I thought, "oh, chunks of dried apple, boo", but they turned out to be chunks of something sweet and actually tasty.  Like white chocolate or even sorta kinda cream cheese inspired.  I actually really liked them.

But I have no idea what they were.  There is no white chocolate ingredients, no dairy ingredients ... they were some magic combination of isolates and strange sweeteners that managed to taste good?  No idea.

Berry Pomegranate Chia.

"A sweet and tangy combination of strawberries, cranberries, pomegranates & organic chia seeds."

How did I wind up with this?  I have no idea.  I certainly didn't purchase it, given my general displeasure with Clif bars, my complete and utter dislike of chia, and general feelings of "eh" on cranberries and pomegranates.

Better question ... why did I bother try it?  Again, I have no idea, except my desire to try #allTheThings and you know, "do it for my readers".  Y'all are important to me!

The shocking thing to me is that I didn't hate it.  Maybe I was in the mood?  The texture was good, slight crunch.  It tasted healthy, but not in a bad way.  It was pretty fruity.  Sure, the fruits weren't ones I really wanted, but it was vaguely "kinda tart, kinda sweet berry" flavor, certainly not identifiable as pomegranate, which makes sense, since dried cranberries and dried strawberries come long long before the pomegranate powder in the ingredient list.

If you like chia and fruity-tart flavors, give this one a try. **+.

Additional flavors tried: 

• Chocolate Brownie: "The rich, indulgent flavor of a fresh-baked brownie.". Mushy texture, not very good flavor.  Did not deliver the "brownie" it promised! *.
• Chocolate Chip: "The classic, cravable taste of a fresh chocolate chip cookie." Same mushy base, little bits of decent chocolate chips, chocolate drizzle on top for a tiny bit more chocolate, but overall, just sweet and mushy and not something I want.  *+.
• Crunchy Peanut Butter: "Smooth, organic peanut butter mixed with crunchy peanut pieces.". Same mushy base, although with nice peanut butter flavor.  But I'd much rather taste my peanut butter in another form. **.
• Coconut Chocolate Chip: "Sweet organic coconut paired with chocolate chips and a creamy chocolate drizzle." Again, mushy, but the coconut flakes added a little more texture, making it a bit crunchy.  This was better.  The flavor from the coconut was also good.  One of the better Clif bars, but I wouldn't really want more. **+.

Crunch

For a while, Clif made a line of bars known as "Crunch".  These are crunchy, fairly classic granola bars, marketed as a lighter option than the Clif energy bars.  They amp up the fiber content by incorporating rye flakes, barley flakes, oat bran, and oat flour, along with the standard toasted oats and rice crisps.

 They were discontinued, but I still tried one once.

Honey Oat CRUNCH bar.

This was a serious meh for me. I don't tend to like hard style granola bars, and this was no exception.  A hard, crisp granola bar.  Seemed very generic, although it had all sorts of different ingredients besides standard oats (rye flakes, barley flakes, rice crisps).  None of them really added any flavor, and this was majorly lacking in flavor.  I guess you don't expect much from honey oat flavor, but there was just nothing going on here.  It didn't even work chopped up on thrown on a fruit and yogurt parfait in place of granola. *+.

Mojo Bars

"Sometimes we get a craving for something sweet...and salty. That’s why we make CLIF Mojo™. It’s all about different flavors and textures to satisfy your sweet (and salty) tooth"

The Mojo line was the most candy bar like of all of their products.  Basically trail mix bars, loaded up with fruits, nuts, and candy.  Some are even dipped in chocolate.  They are sweet, salty, chewy, full of texture, and far less healthy.  These are of course, my favorites.  Yet, they were discontinued too.

Besides the soy rice crisps, they are mostly made from regular ingredients: whole macadamia nuts, peanuts, cashews, almonds, chocolate chips, peanut butter chips, white chocolate chips, pretzels, almond butter.  These are just sweet treats, no focus on sneaking fiber in there, balancing glycemic load, etc.  They are just for fun.

White Chocolate Macadamia.

First up, white chocolate macadamia.

This included pretzels, macadamia nuts, white chocolate chips, and cashews.  It sounded like a winner, but was a lot more bland than I expected.  It was mostly just sweetened stuck together soy crisps, with some pretzel pieces scattered throughout.  The pretzels didn't add the crunch nor the salt that I expected, and there was barely any white chocolate nor macadamia, so I didn't get any of those flavors either.  Sadness, as this sounded so promising!  Still, better than regular Clif bars. **+.

Dark Chocolate Almond Coconut.

"Toasted coconut, chunks of chocolate, and whole roasted almonds."

Now this was very good!

Generous sized chunks of chocolate and flakes of coconut.  Nice combination of flavors, good crunch, nicely sweet.  I didn't taste any salty component though, as advertised, but still, for a granola bar, this was quite good.  ***+.

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Other Varieties Tried.

• Dipped Chocolate Peanut: Peanuts, chocolate, pretzels, dipped in more chocolate.  This was  really great.  Whole flavorful peanuts, salty, and chocolately, all in one?  Yes please!  ****.  Subsequent review: Nice chunks of peanuts.  Slightly salty, kinda hard though, would have liked it softer.  Very little chocolate dip, just a thin layer on the bottom, so you don’t taste it much.  Good bits of pretzel, rice crispies, peanuts, and honey roasted peanuts.  ***+. 
• Mountain Mix: Made from almonds, peanuts, raisins, and chocolate chips.  It was really chewy, kinda hard to chew.  Least favorite that I tried.  Mostly just tasted like raisins and crappy peanuts.  Did not like. *+.
• Peanut Butter Pretzel: This has pretzels, peanut butter filled pretzels, and even more peanut butter. The chunks of pretzels were a good size, and it was a delightful mix of sweet and salty.  Really good. ****.

Builder's Protein Bars

"We’re all building toward something great. That’s why delicious CLIF® Builders® and CLIF® Builders® Minis offer complete plant protein, including essential amino acids to help support, rebuild, and repair muscles."

If regular Clif bars aren't substantial enough for you, the BUILDER's bars are a step up in terms of protein content, with 20g protein each.  Loaded up with all sorts of ... stuff.  Designed for building muscle.

They are layered bars, with the bottom layer made up of soy rice crisps, the top layer is a smooth concoction, and the whole thing is coated in chocolate.  Don't let the chocolate fool you.  They taste absolutely horrible.  I'd never eat these, even if I was a body builder.  There have to be better tasting ways to get an easy 20g of protein.

Cookies 'n Cream.

I lost my notes on the Cookies 'n Cream bar pictured here, but did try several others as well.

Crunchy Peanut Butter:

"No chocolate here, just a heap of crunchy, peanut-buttery, protein-packed goodness."

This tasted like paste. Not even really peanut butter flavored paste. Totally nasty.

Chocolate Mint: 

"Chocolate and protein don't get cooler than in this tasty, well-earned reward for a workout."

Every aspect of this was nasty. It did have a subtle mint flavor that was ok, but besides that, the flavors, the textures, everything was just really horrible. *.  Subsequent review:  I forgot how much I hated this before, and tried it again. So gross! The mint flavor was nice, but everything else about it was awful. *.

Organic Trail Mix Bars

"CLIF® Organic Trail Mix Bar is made for mixing it up and discovering all the good stuff the day has to offer. Combining simple and organic ingredients that are good for both our bodies and the planet, our trail mix bar comes in flavors for just about every occasion no matter where the trail takes you."

Next up, trail mix bars, another discontinued line.  These came in 4 flavors, all featuring dark chocolate: Dark Chocolate Almond Sea Salt, Dark Chocolate Cherry Almond, Dark Chocolate Pomegranate Raspberry, and Dark Chocolate Peanut Butter.

The bars are also organic and gluten-free.

Dark Chocolate Peanut Butter.

"Featuring big chunks of organic dark chocolate and organic peanut butter."

This one wasn't too bad for you, not too high in sugar (8 grams), and has moderate amount of protein (6 grams).

The base is a mix of peanuts, almonds, soybeans, and rice crisps, plus peanut butter and dark chocolate chunks.  The bottom side is coated with a dark chocolate coating.

I was pretty excited for this one, as I love peanut butter and chocolate.  But somehow, despite having both peanuts and peanut butter, I didn't really taste much peanut flavor.  The large chunks of dark chocolate were nice, but, the chocolate wasn't that intense.  The nuts were fine, but I didn't like the rice crisps.

It was also not soft, instead, it was a very hard style.  Not crispy like some bars, actually just hard.  I didn't like this. *+.

Coconut Almond Peanut.

"Featuring rich and nutty organic peanuts and organic coconut."

Like the other trail mix bar, this one isn't too high in sugar (6 grams), has a moderate amount of protein (6 grams), although might be a bit high in fat for some (13 g), due to the nuts.

The base is similar to the dark chocolate peanut butter, a mix of peanuts, almonds, soybeans, and rice crisps, plus coconut.  The bottom side was not coated like the previous bar.

This one actually tasted more peanuty than the dark chocolate peanut butter, but I didn't taste all that much coconut.  I again didn't care for the crisps.

This was a hard style bar, basically just nuts and the crisps bound together by sweeteners (tapioca syrup, cane syrup, and honey).  It wasn't bad, but, it just wasn't interesting. **.

Nut Butter Filled Bars

"The athletes and foodies in the Clif kitchen have crafted a different kind of energy bar. CLIF® Nut Butter Filled Energy Bar brings together two great energy foods – a delicious, creamy nut butter inside an organic energy bar – to deliver sustained energy."

Nut Butter filled bars are one of the newer product lines from Clif, bars filled with assorted nut butters.  These are small, but not light items, 230+ calories, and 5-7g of protein, designed truly for fuel for activity.  Some of these were decent.

Coconut Almond Butter.

"An organic energy bar filled with delicious, creamy almond butter."

I don't generally like almond butter as much as other nut butters, but I gave this bar a chance, since they were giving them out at an event I attended.  It was the first kind I tried.

And ... yeah, not for me.

The almond butter was blended with cashew butter, which didn't make it any better for me, since that was bitter.  I also didn't care for the date paste used as sweetener.  It did have nice coconut flavor to it though, and the texture (and oats) were quite nice, but, as someone who doesn't go for almond butter, cashew butter, and dates, this was just not for me. **.

Chocolate Hazelnut Butter.

"An organic energy bar filled with delicious, creamy hazelnut butter."

I moved on to a more promising sounding bar - chocolate hazelnut!

Again though, the nut butter wasn't quite as advertised.  The hazelnut butter was really a mix of hazelnut, cashew, and almond butter.  There was enough hazelnut though to balance out the others, so I didn't mind it too much.  The nut butter is also where the chocolate is, blended in, which I'm sure also helps mask the other nuts.  The filling was creamy and actually pretty enjoyable.  A healthy version of Nutella?

I again liked the texture of the outer part of the bar, the oat base was enjoyable.

This was far more successful than the first, and something I'd consider eating again, if I wanted a healthy but mid-range calorie bar. ***+.

Peanut Butter.

"An organic energy bar filled with delicious, creamy peanut butter."

Finally, my favorite kind of nut butter: peanut butter.  Yup, I guess I'm just traditional.

I was most excited for this filling, as it was just pure peanut based peanut butter, no other nuts mixed in.

The peanut butter was .. fine.  Better than the blended butters, but, it wasn't very creamy.  It was rather dry.  I actually preferred the chocolate hazelnut butter.

The wrapper layer was again decent enough.

This was very close to something I liked, I just wished the peanut butter had a bit more to offer.  And ... maybe some chocolate chips or something?  Still, I finished it with no problem. ****.

Chocolate Peanut Butter.

"An organic energy bar filled with delicious, creamy peanut butter."

I expected the Chocolate Peanut Butter to be like the Chocolate Hazelnut Butter.  That is, the oat based plain bar filled with chocolate nut butter.  Instead, it was reversed; the cocoa was in the bar, the filling was the same plain peanut butter from the standard peanut butter bar.

And again, the peanut butter just wasn't great.  Not that much flavor, not creamy.

The chocolate in the base didn't really come through.  Yes, it was dark, but, it didn't taste of much chocolate at all.

This was the bar I expected to be the highlight, since I like peanut butter, and chocolate makes better, but it really let me down.  I liked it less than the plain peanut butter.  ***.

Clif Kids

For kids, Clif has a number of product lines: zbar, zbar protein, zbar fruit & veggie, zfruit, and zfruit & veggie, the later two which ditch the grain, aka, bar, elements.

zbar

"CLIF Kid Zbar® is an organic, baked whole grain energy snack, made with a blend of carbohydrates, fiber, protein, and fat to give kids energy so they can keep zipping and zooming along. Our products never include high fructose corn syrup or artificial flavors."

I believe this was the first product line from Clif for kids.  Zbars come in 5 kid friendly varieties: chocolate brownie, chocolate chip, iced oatmeal cookie, iced lemon cookies, s'mores, all of which feature an organic oat blend as the base, with flax seed and soy butter, sweetened with cane syrup, maple syrup, and fig paste.  The bars are smaller than the adult versions, and come with attractive packaging and a drizzle over them.

Chocolate Chip.

"All the thick, chewy, goodness of a chocolate chip cookie – gone nutritious!"

The first zbar I tried was the chocolate chip.

Perhaps they can trick a child into thinking this is anything like a chocolate chip cookie, but, they sure didn't trick me.  I did not like this.

It was a dense granola bar, too bitter from the flax, and strangely sweet from the date paste.  Yes, there were tiny little chocolate chips, and a chocolate drizzle on top, but tasty this was not.

**.

Iced Oatmeal Cookie.

"A delicious and nutritious blend of organic whole grain oats with a touch of cinnamon and vanilla."

Next up, "iced oatmeal cookie".  Again, not a cookie!

A dense, hearty, healthy tasting oat based bar.  Yes, it had some cinnamon and vanilla, so had spicing like an oatmeal cookie.  Yes, it had a drizzle of icing on top.  But, no, a cookie it was not.

Maybe for a healthy bar it was fine, but if you want something remotely cookie-like, this is not it.

***.

Iced Oatmeal Cookie: Limited Edition (2022).

"A delicious and nutritious blend of organic whole grain oats with a hint of cinnamon and vanilla that your kids will ask for again and again."

The iced oatmeal cookie bar was reformulated, and came back out as a "limited edition" (that then stayed part of the lineup).   It looked nearly identical, but had 12 whole grains now instead of the prior 9 ...

My bar was approaching its expiration date when I ate it, which I think resulted in it being fairly hard.  I remember these being far softer?  I had boiling water on hand, and dipped it in that, and then microwaved on medium for a minute, and it totally transformed it - back into a nice soft moist bar, with melty little creamy sweet chips inside.  No, I don't think they recommend doing this to them, but it totally worked.  I really enjoyed the spicing, it reminded me of Christmas cookies, slightly gingerbread like, slightly, well, "holiday" spiced, if that makes sense.  The oat base made it a touch healthy and hearty tasting, but it was drizzled with very sweet icing, and the little chips inside made it even sweeter.

I knew not to expect a dessert-like cookie, so I pulled this out on a morning when I wanted a supplementary easy item with my breakfast, not a dessert.  While I still don't think this would ever satisfy my dessert cravings, I'll admit that it felt a bit too sweet and certainly more in the dessert direction than I had thought previously.  Think, breakfast appropriate if you also think a glazed cinnamon roll or donut is breakfast appropriate.

***+.

Apple Filled with Almond Butter.

"Oats, apples, and cinnamon, oh my! This organic, soft-baked bar with creamy almond butter filling is ready to take on the fly!"

This really was almost good.  It was just the particular flavors (apple, almond) that weren't great for me.

The soft, sweet, oatmeal cookie-like bar really did feel like, well, a cookie.  But it tasted faintly of apples, not exactly my thing.  The drizzle of icing certainly helped this feel like an indulgent treat.

The filling was a fairly smooth creamy almond butter.  A nice touch, except, I really wanted peanut butter.

So, very close to being something I'd like.  How about some kind of berry (strawberry, raspberry, etc) and peanut butter filled?

***.

Cinnamon Roll.

"Nothing warms your heart quite like a freshly baked cinnamon roll. Made with 12 grams of whole grains and swirls of cinnamon, this snack bar has everything you love about soft, doughy cinnamon rolls without the mess."

I kinda thought I had tried this flavor before, but, besides the vague memory that most of the ZBar varieties I tried always sounded like great desserts, but then, in fact, were not actually a "real dessert", I didn't remember this specifically.  And, it turns out, maybe I never did try it before?  I was surprised to find I didn't have a prior review.

I decided to try this for breakfast, alongside yogurt, fruit, and chocolate, you know, very balanced.  Cinnamon rolls, after all, are morning pastries right?

I took one bite, and decided breakfast was not appropriate.  Or maybe I just wasn't in the mood.  But I didn't dislike it, I just didn't actually want with breakfast.  The bar had a nice chew, a slightly hearty base flavor (yay whole grains?), and was plenty sweet from the drizzle on top.  It did, indeed, sorta taste like a cinnamon roll, in bar form.

I immediately set about getting some granola to throw on top of my yogurt + fruit instead though, and decided this would be best actually as a dessert, dunked into fall spiced homemade whipped cream, that of course I just happened to have.

***.

zbar Protein

"Made for little hands and busy bodies, CLIF Kid Zbar® Protein’s balanced blend of plant-based pea protein and crispy, delicious flavors make these bars a perfect back- to-school snack. Made with organic oats, these hunger-busting snacks also have no high fructose corn syrup or artificial flavors – and they’re non-GMO and gluten free."

The kid's protein bars, Zbar Protein, remind me of more standard protein bars, just made a touch more kid friendly - they use crispy bits, come in flavors that kids might be drawn to (chocolate chip, cinnamon crunch, cookies n creme, etc), and are slightly smaller.  But besides that, they are still protein bars, still have things like whey protein in them, and wouldn't really trick you into thinking they are a candy bar.

Cookies 'N Creme.

"Classic creamy cookie crunch."

I tried the cookies 'n creme flavor, which had a crispy chocolately rice base studded with a tiny tiny chips ("creme"?), and an undercoating of white creme.  The little chips weren't distinctly white chocolate, nor yogurt, but I liked them as little pops of sweet, the same with the coating on the bottom.  The bar had a nice chew, a slight touch of chocolatelyness.  It did sorta taste like cookies and cream.  It also had a touch of "protein bar funk", just that kinda odd-off taste that many have, although that was minor.  Perhaps the whey protein caused it?

Overall, better than many protein bars, and I liked the smaller size, but I'm not sure a kid would really like this, the slightly odd taste and bitter aftertaste doesn't seem particularly kid friendly.

***.

zfruit

The zfruit line has been discontinued, it was a foray into non-grain bar based items, instead, fruit sticks.

Clif Kids ZFruit Rope - Strawberry.

This reminded me of a fruit roll up in its flavor, but obviously wasn't thin.  I kinda liked the flavor, not quite real strawberry, but really not bad.

What I didn't like was the chew.  I wanted it chewier, like licorice, but it was softer.  I'm sure this appeals more to kids, the actual target audience for it, but I would have preferred something more substantial to bite into.

Overall though, tasty enough, and apparently, a full serving of fruit! ***.

Other Products

BLOKS Energy Chews

"CLIF® BLOKS® Energy Chews provide quick, chewable, energy to athletes while training and racing. BLOKS® come in 33 calorie cubes, with sleek and portable packaging, making it easy to customize and track caloric and electrolyte intake during long outings and races."

Shot Bloks are energy chews, like caffeinated gummy candy.  The ones I tried all had a good chew to them, decent flavor, and definitely gave me a kick of caffeine.  Whee!  I of course just ate them for fun, but they would make sense to eat during a workout for a little hit of power.  Dangerously tasty. ****.

Shot Electrolyte Drink

Another discontinued product, but in the same product family as the BLOKS, Clif also made a drink mix in several flavors.

Cranberry-Razz: Good flavor, sweet but not too sweet, and actually kinda refreshing. ***+.

Read More...

Soft Swerve, NYC

Update Review, August 2023

After several years, and a pandemic, of not visiting New York, I finally made it back this summer.  I had an agenda loaded with culinary adventures, and wasn't staying or working anywhere near a Soft Swerve location (they have multiple now!), but, I had such fond memories from past visits, that I managed to fit it in.  I visited their newest location, in Kipps Bay, and dragged a couple co-workers with me.

Soft Swerve still offers their standard (awesome) soft serve flavors, but they now also have a larger range of hard serve ice cream, and have changed up their toppings somewhat (alas, no more halo halo toppings).

Sadly one of the soft serve machines was out of order, so they had only four soft serve flavors available: vanilla, frozen hot chocolate, thai tea, and ube.  The ube I was delighted to see of course, but I was sad that the black sesame was not available.  I took the opportunity to try the two others.

Frozen Hot Chocolate (soft serve): 

"Made in house with real dark chocolate and our special blend of hot chocolate mix. This ice cream flavor is rich, smooth and creamy."

I tried this mostly out of curiosity, wondering what the distinction between regular chocolate and "frozen hot chocolate" would really be.  It turned out to be pretty uncanny.  It did, indeed taste like, well, frozen hot chocolate.  It had a much more cocoa-esque flavor to it than regular chocolate soft serve.  You could even sorta taste the marshmallows on top.  A very good chocolate soft serve, it turns out. The texture was perfect, remarkably creamy.  ***+.

Thai Tea (soft serve): 

"With hints of vanilla and subtle notes of sweet spices, our Thai Tea ice cream is made with tea leaves imported from Thailand."

The Thai tea was exactly what you'd expect.  Deep flavor, but fairly sweet, just like traditional Thai tea.  Light spicing.  And again, just, perfect consistency, so amazingly creamy and smooth.  Very good.  ****.

Black Sesame (hard serve): 

"Tastes similar to peanut butter but with rich roasted notes."

I tried a bite of my co-worker's black sesame hard serve.  It was very good - great nutty, slightly savory taste.  Fairly creamy, seemed like decent quality hard serve.  I still wished they had the black sesame soft serve at this location though. ***+.

Ube Cup. $7.50.

"A 5 oz serving of our most popular ice cream flavor, made with real purple yams. Definitely a must try flavor if you've never had it before. Pairs very well with toasted coconut and mochi."

I went for the ube soft serve, my past favorite.  It was again great - as with the other flavors, the consistency is what really sets it apart.  Amazingly creamy, rich, and smooth.  Stronger ube flavor than many other competitors.  Not too sweet.  Probably the best ube soft serve I've had anywhere.  ****+.

Not pictured is the toppings I added, as I had them on the side so I could create my own perfect creation.  The cotton candy crunch and mochi both went very well with it.

Cones.

Cake Cone. $0.25.

"Light, neutral-flavored, wafer-style cone with a crisp texture."

For me, soft serve is best consumed in a cone.  I got it in a dish so I could save part, and then create my perfect cone with toppings myself.  I added a cake cone on the side for $0.25 to do so (extra cone or dish is always $0.25).  I appreciated that they use the style of cake cone that is, well, a cone, rather than generic Joy cups with flat bottoms.  Eating out of an actual cone shape is more pleasurable for me, but I like cake cones more than sugar cones.  

Anyway, the cone was fresh, not stale, and exactly what I wanted.  ****.

Cotton Candy Crunch. $0.75.

"Featuring the pink, blue, and purple colors of standard cotton candy, this sweet crunchy candy topping will turn any ordinary ice cream serving into an extraordinary dessert treat."

I got this mostly for fun, as I wanted a crunchy topping, and because the regular rainbow sprinkles didn't look particularly interesting (just the standard generic kind).  Plus, bonus points for making a *very* Instagram worthy creation once I added to my cone.  I asked for them on the side in case I hated them though.

The verdict?  Yup, they were pretty, crunchy, and sweet.  Not necessarily strongly "cotton candy" flavored, but, sweet and enjoyable enough, and far more fun than standard sprinkles.  ***+.

Rainbow Mochi. $2.

The rainbow mochi was clearly quite fresh, very soft and pliable.  Great to just munch on, but also went well with the ube flavor in my soft serve.  I don't think they make these in-house, but, they picked a good quality product, and clearly store it well so it doesn't dry out.  Recommended, particularly with flavors like ube or thai tea.  ****.

Update Review, July 2019

My trip to New York *started* with Soft Swerve.  I have #priorities.

Literally, landed at 8:20pm, spent waaaaay too long in horrible traffic getting to hotel, checked in at 10pm.  10pm!  I was grumpy, I was confused about what to eat (too late for big dinner in this time zone, had been munching nontstop on the flight, etc), and soft serve ice cream was all I could think about.  Luckily for me, I knew Soft Swerve was a 14 minute walk from my hotel (or, 11 minutes, as I did it in a all-out power walk).  I literally checked in at the hotel, dropped my bags, and left, immediately.

11 minutes, plus a minute to wait for the one guest in front of me, and that was all it took for me to be instantly transported out of my funk.  Soft Swerve is just *so* good.

And pretty much exactly the same as my last visit.  Really friendly service.  Offers to try the flavors without me asking.

I did try the macapuno again, to give it another shot, and again didn't care for it.  The coconut flavor just isn't for me, although I think it likely is great with the ube, and you can swirl them.  I also tried the black sesame again, and did like it, the nutty nature was pleasant again, but ... this time, I went straight for the ube.  No need to mix it up here, I knew I had a winner.

My Creation: Halo Halo Toppings (base), Ube Soft Serve, Condensed Milk Drizzle, Rainbow Sprinkles, Mochi.

This was near identical to what I got last time.

Halo halo toppings in the bottom.  This time, ube soft serve only (the black sesame was good, but, I wanted #allTheUbe).  Same condensed milk drizzle and rainbow sprinkles on top, and this time, I added mochi was well.  They were nicely arranged around the edge.

The ube soft serve was as magical as ever.  Perfect consistency.  Soooo purple.  Lovely ube flavor.  Just, fantastic.  

The mochi was soft and a nice compliment, and the sprinkles were just for fun, but I loved them.  I wish I had left off the condensed milk this time though, as it made the whole thing just too sweet, particularly with the mostly sweet toppings in the base.  I think the black sesame was a more bitter flavor, and so that actually helped last time.

The halo halo toppings seemed to be a slightly different mix this time, but still included soft sweet red bean mash that I appreciated, you know, for the "protein", nata de coco and assorted jellies that were sweet and slimy and fabulous.  The palm seeds were definitely my favorite.  I'm not sure there was boba in here this time, I didn't find any, but then again, it was dark as I walked back to the hotel devouring it, so I may have just not seen them.

Overall, I was pleased with my creation, although it was kinda pricey.  $5 for the soft serve, $1 for mochi, $1 for halo halo, $0.50 for sprinkles, $0.50 for condensed milk ... $8!

I'd get this again, leaving off the condensed milk and adding something for crunch on top.  Or, if it was a nice warm day, I'd be more than happy with a colorful cone of ube soft serve, with rainbow sprinkles, and nothing more.

I wish I lived in NY.  Seriously.

Original Review, October 2018

OMG. <3. <3 <3 <3.

Yes, that is my summary of Soft Swerve, a Asian influenced soft serve ice cream shop in New York City.  The Yelpers agree, awarding 4.5 stars with nearly 1500 reviews.

It truly is some of the best I've ever had, and the toppings lineup is incredible.  In my "normal" life, I eat ice cream at least ... 5 times a week (often paired with a warm dessert), but when I visit the East Coast, I'm all about the soft serve.  It may be normal to folks who live there, but is a rare thing in San Francisco.

Luckily for me, New York is filled with soft serve, ranging from ice cream trucks everywhere, to fancier artisan places, to those that are all about the Instagram shots or "creative" flavors ... complete very long lines (hello, Big Gay Ice Cream, Dominique Ansel Kitchen, etc.  Of course I've tried those too (sorry, the burrata soft serve that Dominique Ansel I actually just didn't find very good ... it was icy and didn't taste like burrata at all, but the Cheetos soft serve with crumbled Cheetos on top at Big Gay Ice Cream was surprisingly delicious ... in small quantity).

Soft Swerve does create Instagram worthy ice creams (yes, colored cones, yes, a wall with the perfect backdrop for your snaps, etc), but they also don't complicate things too much.  And I've never encountered a line there.  And the ice cream is good.  Really, really good.

I don't know much else about them, not where they source the dairy, etc, etc, but I know this.  100% worth the trek.

Signage.

On the sidewalk is a chalkboard, I think with messaging that changes regularly.  I giggled when I read this one, but it did set off my "trying to hard" radar (unwarranted, luckily).

Menu.

Inside more chalkboards present you with your choices, and a step by step guide to ordering (not that it is complicated).

Step 1: Cup, classic cone (red colored, $1 extra), chocolate cone (black, $1 extra).  One size only ($4.50), besides pints.

Step 2: Flavor.  4 choices only: Ube (Purple Yam), Macapuno (Coconut), Matcha (Green Tea), or Black Sesame.  The first two and second two can be swirled, or you can layer 2 flavors.

Step 3: Toppings ($0.50-$1 each).  Many, many toppings, crunchies, drizzles, etc.  More on these soon.

You can also pick one of their pre-designed creations for $5.99.

Over my multiple visits, I tried all the flavors besides the matcha (since I was always visiting later in the day and didn't want caffeine).  All flavors were incredibly creamy.

Coconut is the one flavor I didn't select for my full size creations, although it was creamy, and good soft serve, the flavor wasn't as intense as the others, and I just preferred the ube and black sesame more.

Counter.

You order right up at the counter, where the toppings and cones are displayed in glass containers, just for looks.

More toppings display.

The toppings lineup is also on the other side of the area, in bigger jars, labelled.  It includes ...

Crunchies: Oreos, Toasted Coconut, Cereal Marshmallows, Cap'n Crunch, Reese's Puffs, Toasted Almonds, Freeze Dried Strawberry, Almond Cookie, Sprinkles, Chocolate Sprinkles, Fruity Pebbles, Skor Toffee, Crushed Nilla Wafers.

Chewies:
Mochie, Halo Halo Toppings

Drizzles:
Strawberry, Chocolate, Condensed Milk, Caramel, Dark Chocolate, Pineapple

Pick as many, or few, as you wish.

My Creation: Halo Halo Toppings (base), Black Sesame Soft Serve, Ube Soft Serve, Condensed Milk Drizzle, Rainbow Sprinkles.

For my creation, I went for the ube and black sesame.  Since they weren't on the same machine, I had to layer them.  I appreciated that I was asked which I'd like on top, and went for the ube ... yes, because I thought the purple would be prettier on top.

The black sesame is a wonderful flavor, nutty in a way that reminds me of peanut butter.  I think that a full cup of just that would be too much, but combined with any other flavor it works great.  So creamy and flavorful.

But the ube.  Swoon.  Again, perfectly creamy, and excellent flavor.  Seriously, one of the best ice cream flavors I have ever had in my life.  Anywhere.  I *adore* this ube soft serve.  It is perfection.

On top I drizzled condensed milk for a little sweetness, and it complemented the ube magically.  I added rainbow sprinkles, uh, for fun?  I love sprinkles, and I really appreciated the little bit of crunch and pops of color on top.

The base of the cup however is the most interesting part: Halo Halo.  I didn't realize when I selected it that it would be in the bottom, but, it made sense.  There was tons of this, and it was very fun to dig through and find all the bits.

Palm Seed.

The Halo Halo "topping" was a scoop each of sweetened red bean (actually really good, not mushy!), mochi (soft and pillow-y), nata de coco (slimy, slippery, and flavorful, great flavor alongside the ube), pandan jellies (more fun texture, but not much flavor), boba (good texture, not too firm, not too mushy), and palm fruit seeds.

I loved all these "toppings", on their own, combined, and with the ube soft serve.  It was like the merging of an asian dessert and soft serve of my dreams, and, yes, it was my dreams.

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New York Pizza Suprema, NYC

This past summer, I spent a month living in New York.  I enjoyed a glorious month of *real* summer weather (sorry, SF, 63* days do NOT count!).  And while I was there, of course, many culinary adventures were had.  Along with getting a few classics bagels (ok one from Liberty Bagels, great one from Murray's), of course I had to do the other cliche New York thing and get pizza.

I had a relatively short list of pizza places narrowed in on (which, is no easy feat, given just how many there are, and how *everyone* has a different place they swear by), and was agonizing over making this very important decision of where to go, when I lucked out, and an easy decision was made for me.  At my office, someone had an event, had tons of extra pizza, AND it was from one of the places on my list.  

The place in question was New York Pizza Suprema, which has been around since 1964. 

Storefront.

I swung by early on in my trip to scope it out, as I generally do.  NY Pizza Suprema is NOT fancy, in any way.  Definitely a no frills, slightly gritty place, located right near Madison Square Garden.  No dining area.

Box of Excitement!

The boxes tell some of their accolades, which of course include some "best slice" awards, but, nearly every pizza place around claims those.

The restaurant started out focused very solidly on *plain* slices and nothing more.  You simply could not add toppings. The owner believed in a quality product that didn't need to hide under toppings.  They do still highly recommend the plain cheese slice, but have since introduced toppings.  They make the sauce fresh daily, make their own mozzarella, and really do take pride in the product.  The menu is pizza, and only pizza.  They do not offer salads, subs, sides, or any desserts.  Pizza.  By the slice or whole pie.  They do have plentiful vegan offerings now, and toppings such as chicken parm or baked eggplant, not just your standard pepperoni/sausage/mushrooms/onions/peppers/etc, but they haven't strayed more than this.

Pizzas!

The hosts ordered quite a selection, and had plenty left.

I quickly snagged a few assorted slices, tried them cold, and then heated them up later at "home" in the toaster oven.  I was thrilled with my slices, and honestly, would have gone back for more if I could have.

Cheese. $28/pizza, $4 slice.

"Famed for receiving the only perfect score by the Slice Harvester who sampled over 375 slices in Manhattan. Our famous signature pizza with a light delicious thin crust slightly charred, topped with our famous homemade tomato sauce and imported Pecorino Romano cheese and finest Grande Mozzarella."

I started with the simple cheese pizza.  The baseline to judge any pizza place by, particularly as they tell you to, right?

I'll admit, one bite is all it took to tell me this was a good, very classic, slice of pizza.  The crust had a great chew.  Crisp but not burnt.  Right thickness to support the weight of the toppings and not be limp, but not overwhelm.  It didn't have a particularly interesting flavor, but, the makeup of it was all exactly what you want in a crust.  

Next, the sauce.  This was a saucier pizza than I was expecting.  Definitely sauce forward.  The sauce was good, slightly sweet.  But you definitely need to want sauce.

And finally, the cheese.  The cheese was a highlight for me.  It was perfectly melty cheese.  Great pull to it.  And they certainly don't skimp on that either.  Very flavorful cheese, about as good as pizza cheese can be really.

The pizza was sliced into proper huge slices, where more than one would be an undertaking.  

So overall?  Yup, perfect pedigree of a good slice.  Ratios all in balance, and, once you fold it in half, easy to pick up and eat, no fork/knife required.  Exactly what you want from a NY slice.  I'm not a huge pizza fan, but, I can't fault this in any way, besides maaaybe being a bit too saucy.  ****.

$28 price for such a large pie (or $4/slice) was quite reasonable.

Mushroom. +$6/pizza.

Next I moved on to a more interesting one, this one with mushrooms.  The base was exactly the same as the cheese - again, great chew, sturdy, saucy, awesome cheese.  It came very nicely loaded with cooked sliced mushrooms.  Every bite had plenty of mushrooms. None slimy. No complaints here.  ****.

Standard toppings are $6 each, and more premium offerings like breaded buffalo chicken, whipped ricotta, fresh mozzarella, fancy imported pepperoni are $8, again, quite reasonable.

Mushroom + Pepperoni. +$12/pizza.

And finally, pepperoni and mushroom.  

I got the last slice, which had suffered a bit in transit, but was still perfectly good.  Nothing more to say about the crust, sauce, and cheese.  All exactly as with the others.  The pepperoni was good too - somehow not too greasy, and it crisped up very nicely in my toaster oven later.  

This was my favorite of the three I tried, mostly because I really like toppings (ssh, don't tell the owner!).  ****.

I'm not sure if this was the standard domestic pepperoni (+$6) or imported pepperoni (+$8), as they offer both, but either way, I'd gladly get it again.

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