United Polaris Lounge, EWR

The week before I took a flight from Newark to San Francisco, United changed the branding of the flight to ... Polaris.  No longer just considered a "premium transcon", this was full fledged Polaris now.  Which yes, meant Polaris lounge access.  I was of course thrilled by the opportunity to check out the Newark Polaris lounge for the first time.

My visit was from about 11am until 12:30pm on a Saturday.  It was not busy at all.  

The space was tranquil, and seemed nice enough, however I found myself actually liking the food, and the natural light, more in the much smaller UA Club near Gate C74.

Setting

The lounge is large, and was not crowded at all when I visited.  It had shower suites that I didn't check out, and large, nice individual bathrooms.

So Empty.

There were many styles of seating, and sooo much of it was vacant.

So much space!

The lounge really was expansive, with many different sections.  It felt very open, but had considerably less natural light than the smaller UA Club at C74.

Dining Area.

There was a large dining area for those who choose to eat from the buffet.

Soft Seating.

And soft seating large individual armchairs.  Most seats had power outlets including USB.

Dining Room.

A signature feature of Polaris lounges, the main dining room.  It was also not busy at all.

Dining Room Menu.

The dining room menu sounded great, for both breakfast and lunch. I wished I was hungry for a real meal, as there were not one, but two dishes featuring asparagus, which I was really craving at the time, and all three desserts sounded great to me.  But alas, it wasn't a meal time for me, so I didn't partake in any of it.

Breakfast

I caught the tail end of breakfast when I arrived.  I saw basic breakfast scrambled eggs and sausage, but narrowed in fast on the sweet carb offering, gleeful to have the chance to try it before the lunch swapover.

Maple Baked French Toast Casserole.

I was excited to snag the maple baked french toast casserole, but it wasn't actually very good.  Extremely aggressively spiced, and very dry.  Fruit was mediocre, syrup was unlikely to be real maple syrup.  2/5.

Lunch

The lunch swapover took a while, with different elements brought out in strange order (e.g. the toppings for the crostini bar were there for a really long time before the actual bread to use as a base).  The lineup seemed decent enough, but I didn't actually really like anything I tried.

Salad Bar.

The salad bar had mixed greens or arugula for a base.  The mixed greens were brown at all the stems and didn't seem very fresh.  There were two pre-made, pre-dressed, additional salads.  I plucked some toppings out of them as the rest of the salad bar was so meager. 

Salad Toppings.

The salad toppings were a bit of an odd assortment.  Other than raw red onion, no fresh veggies.  Instead, there was marinated beets, roasted tomatoes, roasted edamame, and mushy mushy mushy asparagus (I had hope! I was craving asparagus! But wow, so mushy).  The pickled radishes were fine.  

Salad Toppings: seeds/cheese/dressing.

The remaining salad toppings were pretty uninspiring to me: some seeds, cheese, and dressing.

Shrimp Cocktail / Gazpacho.

Poached shrimp with cocktail sauce (and random marinated artichokes?), and shots of gazpacho came next.  If I was hungry, I would have tried the shrimp, but, I wasn't, and had been nibbling on other things, so random shrimp at questionable temperature didn't really seem worth trying.

Cheese / Charcuterie.

Interestingly there were only two types of cheese offered (compared to more extensive lineup in the UA Club), and no grapes, in the cheese & charcuterie section.  And no crackers?

Crostini Toppings.

An interesting offering is a build-your-own crostini bar, with several different kinds of spreads.  I didn't try the fig jam nor green olive tapenade, but I wanted to try the brie + chive spread ... and couldn't tell which that was, and which was lemon herb goat cheese spread as items are not individually labelled.  So I took a tiny bit of both, and sadly picked wrong to start, blegh, goat cheese!  The brie spread was fine though, not memorable.

Shrimp & Chicken.

The two main dishes were chicken or shrimp, neither of which I tried.

Carrots & Green Beans.

For a hot veggie, they had a dish that was mostly carrots, with a few token green beans.

Couscous & Rigatoni.

There was a base cous ous for a grain, and pasta dish of rigatoni with mushrooms, peas, and a creamy tomato sauce that I tried, but truly did not like (mushy, not very complex flavor).

Chocolate Chip Cookies.

The "famous" chocolate chip cookies made an appearance in the buffet, presented in a bit more of a classy style than the UA Clubs where they are just laid out on a platter.  They were the thin crispy style everyone raves about.

I see why people like these cookies. They aren't really my style (I'm not a big cookie person anyway), but they were pleasantly crispy, had a nice buttery richness, and did seem a bit unique. The chocolate chips were regular size, and it wasn't loaded with them, but they were fine. I'm glad I tried this, and if I really wanted a sweet treat, I could imagine getting another.  3/5.

UA Club Cookie (Top) / Polaris Lounge Cookie (Bottom).

Interestingly, the ones here in the Polaris lounge were nearly twice the size (diameter) than the ones from the UA Club down the hall.   I didn't notice any real difference in taste despite the very different look.

Lemon Vanilla Budino.

I love all puddings (enough that my blog has a label for them on it after all!), so even though I'm not into lemon desserts, I still tried this.

It was way too lemon curd for me. Tangy in not a way I enjoy. Thick and gloopy. Just, not for me. And far too little whipped cream on top! No textural element like crumble or nuts. 1/5.

Berry Crumble Bar / Seasonal Berries / Golden Oat Streusel.

The dessert bar was slightly more inviting, but was also not enjoyable. It was extraordinarily dry. So dry. The base, the topping, all of it. Dry, dry, dry. 1/5.

Snacks

I'm a sucker for all snack mixes and candies, so I was happy to see the lounge did feature a few.

Snacks!

The Polaris lounge had far more snacks than the UA Clubs, with 5 offerings: yogurt covered cranberries, trail mix, wasabi peas, pineapple, and gummy bears.  I tried the yogurt cranberries, but wasn't really into them.  The rest were standard.

Below these were self serve soft drinks, basic Coke/Sprite/Ginger Ale.  No sparkling water.

Godiva Chocolates.

"GODIVA continues to reimagine chocolate with our NEW Gold Collection: the beating heart of our praline savoir-faire. Each piece in this iconic collection embodies Belgian craftsmanship. Enjoy delicate ganache, nutty pralines and smooth caramels.."

A relatively new (I think?) collaboration between Godiva and United meant there were self serve fancy chocolates, from the new Gold Collection, with little tongs to serve them that made it nearly impossible to pick them up without dropping.  I of course tried both and appreciated the relatively premium offering.

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Truvani

Truvani is not a company I'd normally seek out products from, but apparently, at some point, I did.

"Plant protein with no nasty ingredients."

The company mostly makes products I don't care about: protein powders, supplements, collagen peptides, etc, but they also do make a line of snack bars, which was vaguely interesting to me, as I often incorporate bars into my lifestyle as I'm frequently on the go, and care about getting decent protein and easy snacks throughout the day.  Everything is made with simple ingredients, no preservatives, no artificial things, etc, etc, and all are vegan, gluten-free, and the like.

Bars

"Our USDA Organic Only Bars are made with only 5-12 ingredients. Enjoy sweet satisfaction. Ingredients you know. Plus, they taste like nostalgic childhood treats that meet adulthood standards."

The bars come in 12 flavors, including some fun ones like cookie inspired chocolate chip cookie dough, snickerdoodle, or sugar cookie, dessert bar inspired like chocolate brownie or lemon bar, and crowd pleasing peanut butter chocolate chip or chocolate peanut butter.  I only tried one flavor, not the ones I would have selected, but somehow wound up with a box in my pantry that I'm not quite sure where they came from.  I'll admit the flavor choices wasn't a good one for me, but they didn't give me any motivation to buy others.

Coconut Cashew.

The bars are simple as they say, with only the expected cashews and coconut (given the variety I had), and the standard base of dates, maple syrup, and sea salt.

And they tasted like that.  Very heavy on the dates, which, given that I don't like dates, was a immediate turn off.  The bits of cashew were nice texture, and I could taste them, but, this just tasted healthy in all the ways that I don't find enjoyable.  It was mushy besides the bits of pulverized cashew.  I didn't taste much coconut.t

It reminded me of an RXBAR in many ways, just, without any of the good bits that make me tolerate RXBAR sometimes.  Not a product for me, 1.5/5.

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PROBAR

Would I say I'm "into" snack/breakfast/protein/meal replacement bars?  Absolutely not.  Most I actively dislike really.  But back when I used to go to a lot of fitness classes, these were an essential part of my life, as I needed nourishment post-class, and never wanted to spend $$$ or time to grab things from somewhere nearby.  Those days are looong behind me, but I am still often out and about, and I do try to make sure I have an easy snack on hand that has good balance of protein and whatnot, so, I'm constantly trying different kinds of bars.

"PROBAR is passionate about making delicious food with real ingredients to fuel your everyday adventures."

Which leads me to PROBAR, a brand definitely geared at the fitness (or at least outdoorsy) community.  They make 4 product lines: 3 kinds of bars (GO Energy Bars, MEAL On-The-Go-Bars, 20G Protein Bars), and BOLT Energy Chews.  Yes, they like to do strange things with CAPITAL LETTERS.  All are vegan, gluten-free, yadda yadda.  I tried only the Protein Bars.

20g Protein Bars

"Whether you’re fighting off mid-day hunger or need a boost to aid in post-workout muscle recovery, our protein bars are made with 20g of plant-based protein, easy-to-digest carbs, and an indulgent chocolate coating for a bar that’s not only nutritious but tastes good too."

The bars come in 6 flavors: Peanut Butter Chocolate, Cookie Dough, Mint Chocolate, Chocolate Brownie, Coffee Crunch, and Sea Salt Caramel.  All *sound* like decent flavors, but, being protein bars, I knew to temper my expectations, and tried only one to start.

Peanut Butter Chocolate.

"Peanut butter and chocolate blend perfectly in this delicious bar."

The bar looked pretty good.  Really nicely covered in chocolate.  The chocolate coating was indeed good, smooth, creamy milk chocolate.  It tasted like real chocolate, not trying to be healthy, and not all waxy or cheap.  4/5 for the milk chocolate coating.

Peanut Butter Chocolate: Inside.

But the inside?  

Yep, that is a protein bar all right.  Pretty classic style that makes people, myself included, not like protein bars.  Sorta chewy, sorta sticky, sorta tough, and just, well, clearly not natural in any way.  And the taste?  Yep, it tasted like the ingredients ... isolates, soluble fibers, lecithin, etc, etc.  This is how they get 20g protein into something that initially looks like a nice candy bar.  It was kinda bitter, didn't really taste like peanut butter at all, and, well, I just didn't like it.

I didn't want to finish this, and certainly was not interested in trying other flavors, as this style of bar just isn't for me. 1/5.

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Atlas Protein Bars

Another day, another protein bar review?  Yep.  Bars are something I keep stocked in my pantry, and in my bag, pretty much all the time.   I'm frequently on the go, so I utilize them when I need a mid-afternoon snack, and for some styles of bars, I also enjoy them with my breakfast (I like to dunk them in yogurt and top with fruit and cocoa nibs ...).  I'm always trying new brands of bars of all styles, which led me to Atlas Bars.

"There's nothing special about Atlas Bars. They're made with ingredients so simple you could make them at home."

The marketing for the brand is about how simple they are: real, clean ingredients, no seed oils, no artificial sweeteners, no additives.  The bars boast 15-20g of protein each, mostly due to a combo of whey and milk protein isolates (and to a lesser extend, nuts).  I'm not really sure I consider whey protein isolate an ingredient I'd have at home, but I understand their point.  All are gluten-free, but not vegan.  They come in only 4 flavors: almond or peanut butter chocolate chip, dark chocolate almond, and salted peanut butter.  One size, one format, no other adjacent styles of product.

As my body doesn't generally tolerate whey protein isolates, I had to start small to make sure I wouldn't have a reaction to the bar - but also, the moment I opened it and it had that classic old school protein bar look (you know what I mean, the ones that look like they'll be dry and chalky and taste awful), I assumed this would not be a problem.  I only tried one flavor, but it was far better than I anticipated.

Almond Chocolate Chip.

This looked like a protein bar.  No masking it, no adding a chocolate coating, no adding oats/nuts/seeds to make it interesting ... nope, it was a smooth, dense, chalky protein bar.  I assumed I'd take a nibble, and ditch it.

But ... it really wasn't bad.  Now, it wasn't good exactly, but it reminded me of a cookie dough flavor, a real surprise given that they didn't market it that way at all, and rather, called this "almond chocolate chip".  It did have chocolate chips, large size actually, melty, decent quality, and reasonably well distributed.  The almond I didn't notice nor taste at all.  I expected chunks of almond, but there were none, it was all almond butter mixed with the isolates.  Although sweetened with monk fruit, it didn't have a strange aftertaste or sweetness to it.

So, yeah, it was a dense, soft, old school protein bar texture, but, it reminded me of cookie dough, didn't have strange aftertaste, and had nice chocolate gems.  3/5.

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88 Acres

I live a fairly active lifestyle, so having a quick bar to grab for a snack or breakfast (particularly when traveling) comes in very handy.  But of course I am very opinionated, and I love to try new things, so I've tried a ton of different styles of bars over the years.

Which leads me to 88 Acres.  88 Acres is a very ... seed forward company (yes, I sorta made that term up, but, seeds are at the forefront of their products).  They have 4 main product lines: Seed + Oat Bars, Protein Bars, Seed Butters, and Seed'nola/Edge'nola, all of which focus on seeds as the base.  The later two product lines are newer, and I haven't had a chance to try them yet.  Everything is gluten-free and vegan. 

I enjoy their products, and will continue to purchase them.

Seed & Oat Bars

"Our nutritious gluten free whole-grain oats are an excellent source of high-quality protein and contain manganese, phosphorous, magnesium, iron, zinc, and copper – all necessary for healthy functioning bodies, young, old or somewhere in between. 

Our bars are crafted from familiar kitchen staples, combining oats, sunflower, pumpkin, flax seeds, brown rice syrup, maple syrup, and a variety of tasty additions like chocolate chips, vanilla, cinnamon, berry blends, and Australian sea salt."

Seed & Oat bars I believe were the first product line offered by 88 Acres.  They come in 2 styles, thin or regular, both in many flavors.  All use a trifecta of seeds (pumpkin, flax, chia) as the base. 

Thins

The first bar I ever had from 88 Acres was actually one of the thins, which come in fewer flavors.  I think I slightly prefer them to the regular size bars.

Cinnamon Maple Thin.

"Soft-baked for a chewy texture. Made with gluten-free oats and organic cinnamon swirled together for that comforting taste of fall every day of the year."

I find it interesting that they call these "soft-baked" and "chewy", as I find them harder than most granola style bars, almost crunchy.  I actually really like the crunch factor, but it is notable that it isn't how they are advertised.  I've had many of these bars at this point, and they are always this crispier style - you can snap them, not bend them.

Anyway, I really like these.  The signature mix of seeds (pumpkin, sunflower, flax) makes it very crunchy, the oats round it out, and the brown rice and maple syrups give it a great sweetness level.  Nicely spiced with cinnamon and sea salt.  Pretty simple ingredients actually, but, well crafted.

I don't do this with any other granola/seed/oat bars, but I really like to dunk these in a bit of greek yogurt or labane (or I spread a layer on top).  Bonus points for also sprinkling on cacao nibs.  I'm not sure why I like them that way, but, the tang and creaminess compliment the bars perfectly.

I'll continue to get these, and would love to try other flavors.  ****.

Cinnamon Maple Thin.

I've had many many of these at this point, and always really quite enjoy them.  Just great form factor, crunch, and cinnamon spicing.  I still always feel compelled to dunk in yogurt though, which I truly cannot explain.  ****.

Regular

The thicker, regular bars come in 7 flavors: 3 featuring chocolate (dark chocolate sea salt, oatmeal chocolate chip, double dark chocolate), 3 with fruit (blueberry lemon, triple berry crumble, apple ginger crisp), and cinnamon maple.

Dark Chocolate Sea Salt.

"Soft-baked for a chewy texture. Perfectly balanced with chocolate chips and sprinkled with large flakes of sea salt for that taste of homemade chocolate chip cookies."

This was my first regular bar, not a thin like the others.  It is just over twice the size (45g rather than 22g), mostly just thicker.

The base is the same as the previous flavor: lots of seeds (pumpkin, sunflower, flax) and oats, along with brown rice and maple syrups to sweeten, and sea salt to make the flavors pop.  It swaps in bits of dark chocolate in place of cinnamon.

I was let down a bit at first, as I expected more visible and substantial dark chocolate elements.  Without reading the description I assumed it would have a chocolate coating, but even once I realized it didn't have that, I thought there would be big hunks of chocolate.  There were not.  It was still a very seed forward bar, healthy tasting but somehow enjoyable.  Great crunch.  Just, very minimal chocolate.

I think I do like the thin form factor more, and slightly preferred having the stronger cinnamon spicing, but I enjoyed this and would gladly have another.  Lower ****.

Oatmeal Chocolate Chip.

"Soft-baked for a chewy texture, just like a cookie. With creamy chocolate chips and a hint of sea salt, it's the bar you'd make if you had the time!"

So, um, this was the same ingredients as the Dark Chocolate Sea Salt, except it also had cinnamon and vanilla extract.  But otherwise, exact same ingredients, in the exact same order, and identical nutrition stats, except that the Dark Chocolate Sea Salt had 5 mg more sodium.  It did however look slightly different, with chocolate limited to the little chips.

This one reminded me a bit of kid's granola bars, or at least, my memory of them, although a thicker, more firm, less gooey version.  It still had the hints of being a healthier choice with the seeds in it that added a touch of bitterness, but the chocolate chips made it certainly sweeter than many of the others.  It was a fine granola bar, but didn't feel particularly unique nor special.  ***.

Apple Ginger Crisp.

"Packed with nutritious ingredients like oats, dried apple, crystallized ginger and maple syrup to recreate that nostalgic apple pie flavor in a chewy snack bar."

This is probably the least interesting, at least to me, flavor I tried.  Just the standard base of oats, pumpkin, flax, and sunflower seeds, brown rice syrup and maple syrup, along with raisins, bits of dried apples and ginger, and some warming spices (cinnamon/cloves/ginger).  It did not remind me of an apple pie as promised.  I actually wouldn't have known it had bits of apple in it, as I never really detected them.  I also didn't really taste the ginger in the way I'd expect from the crystalized pieces in it.

The bar was one of the more bitter flavors I tried, with so little to mask the flax and sunflower seeds in particular, it trended too bitter, and too healthy tasting for me.  The raisins did add a touch of sweetness and softness, but they too make it just taste healthy.  The texture was good, soft with a nice chew.  

Overall, a boring bar for me, and better enjoyed when I dunked it in yogurt to mask the bitterness a bit.  ***.

Protein Bars

"Myth: Protein bars are exclusively for people trying to bulk up.

Fact: Protein bars are good for everyone, especially those looking for healthier snacking options that satisfy the temporary hunger pangs when mealtimes are still far away!"

The protein bars still use seeds (only pumpkin rather than the trio) but have 12 g of protein, compared to the only 7 grams in the regular bars.  They come in only 3 flavors.

Banana Bread.

"Soft-baked for a chewy (never chalky) texture. Made with 12 grams of protein from pumpkin seeds, plus banana paste and a dash of cinnamon for that fresh-from-the-oven banana bread bite."

Hmm. I'm not quite sure how I felt about this.  

Given the description of "soft baked" and my own brain's interpretation of banana bread, I expected this to be a softer bar.  It wasn't entirely crispy, not as crisp as the regular bars, but it was a chewy style, and certainly quite firm.  It did have some banana bread flavors from the banana, cinnamon, and maple syrup, and crunch from pumpkin seeds, but that is all there is to it.  Very seed-forward, slight banana bread flavor.  Not too sweet.

I was more in the mood for something softer with stronger banana bread vibes however, so this wasn't quite right for me.  **+.

Chocolate Brownie.

"Soft-baked for a chewy (never chalky) texture. Made with 12 grams of protein from pumpkin seeds, plus large flakes of sea salt and chocolate for an indulgent boost."

Another soft-baked thick hefty protein bar.  This one was middle-of-the-road for me.  It was a fairly pleasant soft and chewy form factor, with lots of crunch from the plethora of seeds that make up the base.  There were hints of fudgey brownie, but the seeds did dominate.  The bar literally is made of just pumpkin seeds, maple and brown rice syrups for sweetness, dark chocolate and cocoa powder, and sea salt.  So, it tastes like exactly what it is, no more, no less.

***.  Finished it, but likely wouldn't buy another.

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Go Natural

Update Review, 2024

Baked Muesli Slice

Baked muesli slices are available in 5 flavors: yoghurt cranberry strawberry, yoghurt apricot, apricot, golden oat, and triple choc brownie.

Yoghurt Cranberry Strawberry.

"This wholesome baked muesli slice made with real fruit pieces and Australian oats coated in yoghurt will stop those belly rumbles in their tracks. Enjoy a delicious, satisfying, on-the-go snack and let your taste buds thank you later!"

What an interesting product.  It is a soft baked, quite thick, bar, with a few bits of texture from oats and fruit.  Along with the cranberry and strawberry, there is also a mix of fruit puree (apple, pear, plum) and fruit juice (elderberry) that formed the fruit bits throughout.  The result is something that almost eats like a muffin or breakfast bread (although more crumbly), just given how thick and soft it is, not more like a granola bar, as I was expecting.  I really liked the texture.  

The bits of fruit added great pops of slightly tart and slightly sweet.  It was all covered generously in a thick "yoghurt" coating that was sweetened.  It didn't taste too fake, although it clearly wasn't wholesome yoghurt.  I liked it too.

Overall, this was a product that ate really well, and definitely tasted berry flavored.  ****.  

But, it didn't actually remind me of muesli as the product line implied, and although it sorta targets a healthy market, at nearly 450 calories, and only 4.4 grams of protein ... it is not really what I think of as a "snack".  I found 1/2 or 1/3 made for an appropriate mid-morning snack for me.

Original Review, 2017

I just found this review in my unpublished drafts.  I was confused though, I could have sworn I had published this.  And then I realized that there are two companies, both of whom make similar snack bars, with nearly identical names: Be Natural (which I did review before, and enjoyed) and Go Natural.  Be Natural is from Australia, and ... so is Go Natural.

As you might have guessed, they try to make more natural, healthy snacks.  Their tag line is "Goodness Tastes Better".  They are gluten-free.

They make a number of product lines, including packaged nuts and seeds, savory spicy snack bars, fruit and cacao bars, and nut based bars, including an entire section of macadamia based bars.  I tried several bars while in Sydney.

Nut Delight

"The goodness of nuts in the original healthy snack bars."

Nut Delights come in a lot of varieties, all based around nuts and seeds, with different fruit mix-ins and coatings.   I know I tried other varieties, but I seem to only have notes on the simple classic Fruit & Nut Delight bars.

Fruit & Nut Delight.

"Our Fruit & Nut Delight combines almonds, walnuts, peanuts, sultanas, apricots, and apple sweetened naturally with Australian honey."

This was a classic granola bar.  Chewy style, kinda sticky, loaded with lots of different nuts and fruits.  I give them credit for having so many types of nuts and fruit in it.

The honey was a different touch than most granola bars, a lovely sweetness.  I liked it more than most granola bars, but it was still just a granola bar, and, it had a bitterness to it on the aftertaste that I didn't enjoy. **+.

Macadamia Selection

"Naturally indulgent Australian-grown macadamia bars."

Macadamia based bars are their own line, again with different mix-ins, and different coatings.

Macadamia Dream.

"Our Macadamia Dream is the perfect natural indulgence. Luxurious Australian-grown macadamias are lightly roasted to enhance their richness, then sweetened with fragrant Australian honey and smothered in a creamy yoghurt coating. Dreamy!

This was very, very sweet.

And almost good.  Almost.

I like macadamias.  I like honey.  But this had way too much honey flavor.  It totally masked the macadamias, and, macadamia and honey is a bit of a strange combination in the first place.

  

Then there was the coasting.  What was it? Sweet yogurt? White chocolate?  I’m not sure.

I really didn’t care for this after more than one bite. *+.

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Honey Mama's Cocoa Truffle Bars

I don't recall why I discovered Honey Mama's cocoa truffle bars.  I suspect I had a coupon for a free product to try?  I do vaguely remember going to Whole Foods to select my flavor.

"Honey Mama's is the Portland, Oregon-based maker of delicious refrigerated raw honey-sweetened truffle bars!

Honey Mama’s is beloved for its one-of-a-kind texture, often compared to brownie batter, chocolate truffles, or fudge – the real treat is discovering each bar is made from only a limited number of nutrient-rich whole food ingredients.

Setting the gold standard for what it means to be a clean label treat, all Honey Mama’s products are free from refined sugar, gluten, dairy, soy, stabilizers, emulsifiers, and additives.

Just imagine your favorite candy bar went to a meditation retreat and came back enlightened!"

The bars are all gluten and dairy and soy free, no refined sugar, paleo and keto friendly, no preservatives, etc, etc.  As such, they require refrigeration, much like Perfect Bars, however those are delicious, and these are not.

The bars come in fun flavors like peanut butter cookie or seasonal specials like peppermint crunch or pumpkin spice.  They also make "Truffle Treats", distinct from the bars, such as peanut butter cups.  I tried only a bar.

The bar I tried was not at all what I was expecting.  I thought it would be a chocolate bar.  "Cocoa truffle bar" to me sounded like a chocolate bar.  Referring to it as my "favorite candy bar ... enlightened" made me think it would be a chocolate bar.  Perhaps one with filling per the "truffle" name.  It was not.  It was more like a healthy nutrition bar.  The texture was firm chalky.  It didn't have a nice snap to it like chocolate, but it was very dense and compact.  Yes, it was "one-of-a-kind", as described, but certainly not "beloved" to me.

I later read more of their FAQ, when I went to write this review, and found more explanation:

"To be called "chocolate", products must contain a specific amount of chocolate liquor and cocoa butter, which Honey Mama's does not use.  Instead, Honey Mama's Truffle Bars start with a base of organic raw honey and cold-pressed virgin coconut oil swirled together with dark cocoa powder. This combination give our bars a soft, fudge-like texture that melts in your mouth like a creamy chocolate truffle.  Traditional chocolate also uses an emulsifier (such as soy lecithin) in order to be shelf stable. Honey Mama's bars do not contain any food additives, and instead use cold temperatures to keep from melting. This is why Honey Mama's is refrigerated and not shelved with other chocolate."

Aha.  Well, I still didn't find the texture "fudge-like", but at least this explains some things.

Pumpkin Spice.

"A custom blend of spices and heirloom pumpkin seeds surround you in all that is fall. This surprise twist on a classic is the sensory experience of the season."

"Remember the feeling of being a kid during the holidays, with the smell of a pie baking in your grandmother’s oven filling the air? Well, this tastes like that. 100% clean, whole food ingredients create the grown-up pumpkin spice you’ve longed for.  Real pumpkin seeds, real spices, no natural flavors, no refined sugar - ever."

So, yeah.  This did NOT remind me in any way of pumpkin pie.  I certainly did not long for it.  I actively disliked it.  It did have plenty of pumpkin spices, allspice, nutmeg, cloves, but the flavor was dominated by other element.

Again, I was expecting more of a chocolate treat, and this was really quite bitter (from the pumpkin seeds?) and tasted of dates.  I dislike the taste of dates.  But coconut oil was really the issue.  I really didn't care for the strong coconut oil taste, and the mouthfeel it left behind.  Amusingly, I didn't taste the namesake honey at all.

So, taste I didn't care for.  Texture that gave off protein bar vibes.  At least it had some good grit and bits within?  

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Proper Foods

"Proper Food is a fresh take on takeaway – offering delicious, wholesome grab-and-go fare. The made-from-scratch menu of sandwiches, salads, soups and Chef’s specials evolves with the seasons."

Proper Food is a chain targeting a very specific market, trying to offer healthier options in the fast convenience, takeout only space, to office workers.  Their locations are all grab-n-go, and, besides optionally heating up your items behind the counter, it is more of a convenience store model than take out restaurant even.  They are only open on weekdays, with breakfast and lunch options.

"We craft our fare by hand fresh every morning the only way we know how – with whole, seasonal ingredients sliced, chopped and seasoned with care. Nothing phony or factory-made. Just good, proper food that’s packed and ready to go."

But, the food is fairly fresh (packaged up that day), the menu changes seasonally, and the quality is higher than any US based convenience store.  Unsold items are donated to charity every night.

Proper Foods only has locations in San Francisco and New York, but they are expanding rapidly.  In SF alone, we have 9 locations, and I feel like I walk by a new one every few months.  The model seems to be working.

Layout

Spacious Interior.

Some locations are tiny, more like kiosks, but the location I visited was quite large and spacious.  They could have put in seating if they wanted, but, they didn't.  Just a huge open space with coolers along the walls, and a register at front.

The register is where you could order hot coffee (drip only), tea, and pastries only, everything else is grab-n-go.

Breakfast Sandwiches.

Most breakfast sandwiches are in the cooler, but two different croissant ones were also available at the register, presumably as they are the most popular in the morning, and usually people want them warmed up.  The croissants looked pretty good.

Muffins.

The only baked good, besides croissant sandwiches, is a single type of muffin, also available at teh counter.  No, you can't get just a plain croissant, which I found a bit odd.

Beverages, Snacks.

The beverage cooler contains a mix of higher end bottled drinks (Maine Roots, Boylan's, Gus's, etc) and their own housemade drinks (juices, lemonade, lassi, cold brew, ice tea).

In the morning, this section also includes chilled breakfast small snacks, like fruit cups, yogurt parfaits, overnight oats, and hardboiled eggs.

Entrees.

The larger section is entrees, breakfast sandwiches/egg bowls/frittatas at breakfast, sandwiches/burritos/salads at lunch, all packaged in clear packaging for easy viewing and selection, but, there is no menu posted so you do need to examine them to see what is available.

Food

Proper Energy Bar. $3.95. 2018.

"Goji berry, rolled oats, flax seed, coconut peanut butter, dark chocolate, dried cranberries."

This was an interesting bar.  Not a granola bar, not a breakfast bar, not a dessert, not a snack.  I don't know how to classify it really.  I guess, an "Energy Bar" is right, for post-workouts?  It is a firm but soft and mushy texture, and requires refrigeration.  If that helps give any context.  Its a rather high maintenance item.  And if it matters to you, also gluten-free.

There were things I loved about it.  It was very, very peanut butter forward.  So many bars promise peanut butter and don't deliver.  This one was undoubtedly peanut butter, and I loved that.  The oats were a good base, and the somewhat odd texture actually worked for me.  There was very minimal chocolate, just a few chunks here or there, and I of course would love more.

There was a fruitiness to it, from the cranberries and goji berries, that I didn't quite like though.  Peanut butter and fruit is a good thing (obs, pb & j).  But, this was just slightly not right to my taste buds.

Overall though, I think I liked it.  Good textures, particularly with the mix-ins, and nice peanut butter.

I had one for breakfast, and it kinda worked, but was clearly a bit of an odd choice.  I made one into dessert, topping it with whipped cream and crumble, which also kinda worked, but not quite as well.  And then I just had one as a post-workout bar, and that made more sense.   Finally, I had one kinda warmed up, I know these are a refrigerated item, but, I did let it get warm (oops), and I liked it more than way.  Particularly when paired with additional chocolate. ***.

Proper Energy Bar. $3.95. (June 2019).

"Goji berry, rolled oats, flax seed, coconut, peanut butter, dark chocolate, dried cherries, sea salt."

I remembered liking these far more than I expected last time I tried one, more than a year prior, and I was again really pleasantly pleased.  So many things in it aren't things that really appealing to me (flax seeds, oats, dried fruit ...), but, somehow, these bars really are fairly delicious.

Most of the credit certainly goes to the peanut butter, a primary ingredient, no question.  The peanut butter flavor is strong, and I love it.  While I don't normally like dried fruit, the fruity dried cherries and goji berry coating bring out a PB&J aspect to the bar, and, well, that works great too.  Flavor-wise, its basically a PB&J, and that is not a bad thing at all.

Every other ingredient mostly adds texture, and, unlike nearly any other energy bar, this one has a great texture.  Soft, and does need to be kept in fridge or it would "melt" (word choice of cashier), but not mushy.  Crumbly, but not messy. It is pleasing to eat. ***+.

Proper Bran Muffin. $2.50. June 2019.

"Peace, Love, & Bran."

Yes, it really is called a "Proper Bran Muffin", not just a "Bran Muffin".  And yes, the description really did read only "peace, love, & bran", no actual mention of what was in it.

I really wanted a baked good, and the bran muffin was the only option, so, I went for it.  It was freshly baked and looked decent, although certainly didn't really look like a bran muffin ... it looked too blonde on top.  I also asked if it had any mix-ins (e.g. raisin, nuts) as bran muffins often do, and the staff didn't really know, but said they didn't think so (it didn't).

They offer to warm it up, which I accepted.  A nice touch.  It was handed over quasi-warm, certainly above room temperature, but only the very top seemed to have really gotten warm.

I don't have much very positive to say about the muffin though.  It looked far, far better than it was.  Perhaps this is why the staff didn't know anything about it, they don't bother eat it?

The muffin was a crispy top style, not too hard, although a bit dry.

Proper Bran Muffin: Inside.

As you can see, it really wasn't anything like a standard bran muffin inside either ... e.g. darker in color, hearty, grainy.

Inside it was kinda fluffy, not moist exactly, but fluffy, cake-like.  But not sweet like cake.  And not sweetened like most bran muffins, no molasses detected.  The base flavor actually sorta almost tasted like banana, although I didn't see any banana, I do think it might have been used for sweetness?

There were some slightly darker brown swirls, that I think were bran batter.  It had a hint of some kind of grain flavor.

Overall, this was just a shockingly boring muffin. No real flavor, and ... just not what I think of as a bran muffin.  Warming it up more, adding butter and jam, nothing really made it stand out. **.

Nutella Cookie. $1.95. (May 2019)

"Extra Dark Chocolate / Crunchy Hazelnuts"

I'm not really a cookie person, but I heard good things about Proper Food's cookies, they looked decently soft, and I wanted some form of dessert, so I also grabbed a cookie.  Cookies are made fresh daily, and come in 4 varieties: chocolate chip (regular or gluten-free), oatmeal walnut, and Nutella.  I selected the later as it sounded most interesting.

Calling this a "Nutella" cookie is a bit ... odd. I'm pretty sure it didn't have any Nutella in it, and, I imagine "Nutella" is trademarked?  Anyway, it was Nutella inspired at least, a chocolate base with whole toasted hazelnuts inside.

The cookie was decent, pretty intense chocolate flavor, reasonably soft, crispy around the edges but not burnt.  The base didn't seem to have any hazelnut flavor, just, deep chocolate, almost brownie-like in taste, but not in texture as it wasn't fudgey.  The hazelnuts added nice crunch and texture, but didn't give the "Nutella" feel really, since many bites came without a nut.

Overall, a fine cookie, perhaps even above average, but if you were expecting it to taste more like the integration of chocolate and hazelnut, e.g. Nutella, or to have any gooey components, it certainly did not.  I think a touch of sea salt on top would also go a long way in giving the flavor a bit more pop. ***.

Oatmeal Cookie. $1.95. (June 2019)

"Cranberries / Walnuts / Hint of Orange."

I am not sure what struck me when I got this cookie, as I don't like dried fruit bits (although cranberries are a bit better than raisins ... maybe), and I certainly don't like citrus tones in my dessert.  And a healthy looking cookie?  I dunno.  It looked soft, and I guess I was in the mood.

It was a nicely made cookie.  It was soft.  It was loaded with cranberries, and truly did taste of orange.  If you wanted those things, they were certainly there.  I didn't really detect a lot of walnut, but I think there were little bits through, just hard to distinguish from the oats.  The base had a slight sweetness, but most of the sweetness came from the fruit.

Overall, it was fine for what it was, but, um, I needed to add buttercream, and quickly grew weary of all the cranberries.

And finally, the sea salt, the touch that sets it over the top, with a bit of ooph.  One note is that the dark chocolate kinda seems like a lie.  I haven't ever tasted, nor seen it, in my bar.

Now, I do taste some flax, and it does taste healthy overall, and it certainly isn't a dessert in my mind, but, for a healthy snack, or a mini meal post workout, honestly, it is tasty.  ***.

Chocolate Chip Cookie. $2.95.

"House-made, dark chocolate and sea salt."

Proper Food used to make several cookies, including the chocolate nutella one and oatmeal raisin that I had reviewed before, but now they only offer a single kind: chocolate chip.  Classic.

The cookie did look quite good - a large size, not too thin, lots of sea salt on top.  It was a decent cookie - not too crispy, nice chew, slight buttery flavor, lightly sweet.  I wished for far more chocolate though - the few chips were small and barely discoverable in the cookie.

Overall good, not amazing.  I was told they are baked fresh in house daily.

***.

GF Chocolate Chip Cookie. $3.50.

"House-made, dark chocolate & sea salt."

Next I tried the gluten-free version, still only offered in chocolate chip, but it looked entirely different than the regular one.  Considerably thicker, loftier.  It was nicely soft, and didn't taste oddly gluten-free.  Absolutely normal texture.  

The notable aspects of this cookie, besides seeming entirely normal, is the significant amount of sea salt, large crystals all over the base.  The salt really made the flavor pop.  The chocolate was also notable, unlike the regular cookie where I found the chips small and lacking, in here they were large chunks, and well distributed throughout.  

Overall, just a totally decent cookie, and even more noteworthy that it was gluten-free.  I'd get another if in the mood for a soft, large chocolate chip cookie. ***+

Note that the gluten-free cookie is $0.55 more than the regular.

Drinks

Proper Food doesn't make any beverages fresh, but they do have bottled juices and cold brew.

Cold Brew Coffee.  $3.95.

"100% organic, fair-trade cold brewed Weaver's coffee."

The cold brew was Weaver's brand, and it was ... fine?  Not a particularly complex coffee, slightly acidic.  Fine, but not great, and I wouldn't get it again.

 **+.

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