Clio Yogurt Bars

My mornings aren't usually that rushed, particularly in this new hybrid world where I work from home in the mornings, but, sometimes I just don't want to put any thought or energy into grabbing breakfast, where even cereal counts as energy - I still need to decide which cereal (or, in my case, usually which blend of cereal), I need to pour milk, and, I usually chop up some fresh fruit to throw on.  Sometimes, I want it to take just the amount of time my coffee takes, with no effort required.  

Enter Clio.  Clio makes Greek yogurt, in bar form, designed for eating on the go.

Clio makes 3 product lines: the "Original" Greek yogurt bars, a Less Sugar line, and the newest offering, "Parfait" bars with granola and yogurt.  I didn't try any of the originals, but they describe them as "Cheesecake-like morsels without remorse", which, I'll admit, does sound temping.  I tried bars from each of the other product lines though.

All require refrigeration, and don't have a particularly long shelf life, which, well, makes sense if they are yogurt.

Less Sugar

"We made Clio less sugar, but kept it 100 (calories that is)."

The Less Sugar line is basically the same concept as the Original Greek Yogurt bars, basically, Greek Yogurt, in a bar form, with a chocolate coating.  The Less Sugar bars are available in 5 flavors: vanilla, peach, mixed berry, coconut, and berry acai, which is an entirely different lineup than the Originals (strawberry, blueberry, chocolate, peanut butter, vanilla, and, seasonal, pumpkin spice).  I thought it was interesting that they choose different flavors for both lines, as I'd expect no difference in flavor appeal?  

Anyway.  I'll admit that I had no idea what to expect from a greek yogurt bar.  It looked like a candy bar, but, was yogurt?  In my head, I somewhat skipped the "yogurt" part, and thought it would be like a protein bar of some kind (which, I guess it was, just not a traditional one).  They all have 7-8g of protein in these petite little bars, which seems good for a small snack.

Vanilla Less Sugar Greek Yogurt Bar.

"Just when you thought vanilla Greek yogurt couldn’t get any more perfect, we go and swap the container for a dark chocolate shell. No lid to lick. No plastic cup to throw away. Save the spoon for another day. You get to eat the yogurt AND the container because it’s made out of delicious dark chocolate. So to all the vanilla Greek yogurts out there trapped inside of plastic cups, we’re sorry. We once loved you, but suddenly you seem— how do we put this nicely? — a little too vanilla."

I opted for the simple vanilla, when I couldn't find the coconut one I wanted to try.

I found the bar quite attractive (so much chocolate!) although a bit petite.  I looked forward to more chocolate goodness.  And then I took a bite.

Hmm.  Yeah.  That was, uh, yogurt.  Tangy, creamy but solid, yogurt.  It was almost like eating froyo, but, just chilled, not frozen.  Or, I suppose, like eating yogurt in bar form.  Which it was.  It had a slight "fake sugar" taste to it, a sweetness that was just a touch too sweet in an odd way, if you know what I mean, likely from the maltitol.

My brain definitely struggled with this.  I love froyo, I like greek yogurt parfaits for breakfast.  But yogurt in bar form ... I wasn't quite there.  The yogurt was fine though, it tasted like average, vanilla flavored greek yogurt.  And I see the convenience.  Just ... a bit odd for me.

**+.

I decided to freeze the rest of this, and have it more like a frozen yogurt bar, since my brain understands frozen yogurt.  It froze very hard, so I definitely needed to let it soften a bit, and the yogurt aspect of it actually was more pleasant that way, but, when frozen, I could taste the "fake sweet" aspect of it that I didn't really care for.  Still not a winner.  I later saw that Clio even recommends freezing them, and letting them thaw 5 minutes before consuming.  This seems like a great idea if you want to throw into your bag on the way out the door and eat sometime a bit later during your commute.

Parfait

"Greek yogurt meets granola in a bar. How convenient."

Undeterred, I decided to try a parfait bar.  The parfait bars come in only 4 flavors: key lime pie, vanilla almond, strawberry, and S'mores.   

When I eat Greek yogurt, I generally have it as a parfait layered with granola, so, the parfait bars were far more appealing to me than the simple yogurt bars.  That said, I dislike granola bars (I can quasi-endure a crunchy granola bar if I break it up and put it on a parfait, but I really don't like chewy ones at all), so, I did worry a bit about the granola "in a bar" aspect of this product.

These bars are double the calories (200) and 10g of protein, so, a bit more substantial than the tiny snack bar Original/Less Sugar ones, but it still didn't feel like a complete easy breakfast on the go as advertised.

Vanilla Almond Granola & Yogurt Parfait.

"We took everyone’s favorite classic Vanilla Greek yogurt and gave it a Clio twist in our new Vanilla Almond Granola & Yogurt Parfait. Our Vanilla Almond Parfait bars combine our classic vanilla Greek yogurt with toasted almond and cranberry granola - all wrapped up in a delicious layer of decadent almond butter coating. "

To do a good comparison with the other bar I tried, I went for the closest thing, the vanilla almond.

When I opened this one, I was very surprised.  I still expected to see chocolate coating, as the picture on the front of the product even had chocolate coating.  My bar did not.  That said, the description did say it would have almond butter coating, which it more of what it looked like, pale blonde in color.  The coating didn't really taste like much of anything though, I really wanted to taste almond butter, but, I didn't pick up almond anywhere in this bar really.

I bit in, and was suddenly very unhappy.

Vanilla Almond Granola & Yogurt Parfait: Cross section.

The top layer of the bar was actually fine - this was the creamy, smooth, Greek yogurt.  As this was not a Less Sugar product, it didn't have the slightly odd fake sweet taste to it, and was pretty good.  It made me want to try a regular Clio bar, as maybe I'd actually like it, and I can see the appeal of a sorta like cheesecake yogurt bar.

But the layer under that, the more dominant layer was ... the granola.  Soft, soggy, mushy, slightly chewy, granola.  Exactly what I don't like.  Which I guess makes sense, even if they wanted a bar with crispy granola, there is no way it could stay that way in the fridge.  But the fridge is required per the yogurt.  So, mushy granola, really not very appealing.  But even worse, the dominant thing here was the dried cranberries.  I somehow entirely missed that in the description ... I wouldn't have picked this had I realized it.  I just don't care for dried cranberries much at all.  They were chewy, sweet, and, well, not for me.

So, almond butter coating that tasted like nothing, decent enough yogurt layer, and meh on the granola with too many cranberries.  I really was craving nut butter at this point though, so I added on a big gob of cashew butter, and it helped balance the fruity cranberries and added more depth of flavor.  I finished it, but wouldn't get another.

**+.

Original Greek Yogurt Bars

"Cheesecake-like morsels without remorse."

The Original Greek Yogurt Bars were the last product line I tried, and certainly the best of the bunch.  I recommend starting there.  These come in 5 regular varieties (vanilla, chocolate, peanut butter, strawberry, blueberry) and a seasonal pumpkin spice flavor.  I did find it interesting that besides the vanilla, the flavor lineup was entirely different from the Less Sugar line, which featured more interesting options like berry acai, peach, and coconut.

These bars are slightly bigger than the Less Sugar bars, and have more protein, but also, obviously, more sugar.  The format is the same as their lower sugar counterparts, with a chocolate shell wrapping the yogurt center.

Vanilla.

"Just when you thought vanilla Greek yogurt couldn’t get any more perfect, we go and swap the container for a dark chocolatey shell. No lid to lick. No plastic cup to throw away. Save the spoon for another day. You get to eat the yogurt AND the container because it’s made out of delicious dark chocolate. So to all the vanilla Greek yogurts out there trapped inside of plastic cups, we’re sorry. We once loved you, but suddenly you seem— how do we put this nicely? — a little too vanilla."

I went for the simple vanilla, and it was enjoyable.  Decent quality dark chocolate shell, creamy, indulgent tasting tangy yogurt center.  The fake sweet taste I noted in the Less Sugar variety was not present here, and the bar overall wasn't too sweet.  The description of a "cheesecake-like morsel" really did fit, and I can see actually treating one as dessert if I wanted (although I quite enjoyed it with breakfast too!).  

***+.

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The Vegan, Gluten-Free, Keto Ghost Kitchens: 60 Morris

Quick Vegan. What with Rice. Kiss My Bacon. Ketosexxx (Keto Desserts). Vegan Plantasia.  Mediterranean Vegan Bowls. F#ck Gluten. Hellaplant Zucchini Pasta.  Zoodle Hot Bar.

These are the names of a bunch of ... "restaurants", operating out of the famed 60 Morris Street Ghost Kitchen that sprung up during the early covid days.  There are, literally, at any given time, 80-100 different listings on Seamless.com (or other pickup/delivery services) for establishments located at 60 Morris Street.

Quick backstory, if you aren't familiar ... the location is a big warehouse, not a restaurant.  Individuals can rent space there, using the certified commercial kitchens, to operate their own virtual kitchens.  In addition to these cloud kitchens, some operators just sell items they source from other actual restaurants and then distribute from there (e.g. pizza they sell from Amicis) or other grocery items (e.g. vegan pints of ice cream produced elsewhere or bars of chocolate).  But mostly, it is a ton, and I mean a ton, of totally random restaurant names and concepts, that change every few weeks, and the delivery companies just list them all, hoping to draw you in to one of them.  Many sell the exact same products.

When the place first sprung up, the press slammed it.  Unsanitary working conditions, food not properly kept at temperature, horror stores of the experiences of the delivery drivers, etc, etc etc.  It didn't make me want to try the offerings.  But eventually, my fascination drew me in.

Which leads me to this review, the offerings that are produced in house by what seems like some central 60 Morris team, distinct from the ones that come from actual restaurants that also distribute from here.   You'll find many restaurants listed that fall into this category, they all have one signature thing that they offer up: vegan, gluten-free, low sugar, keto, yadda yadda.  Something super specific and niche.  They really are trying to reach *everyone*.  

The menu item names are often as ridiculous as the storefront names.  For example, the Kiss My Bacon store has a menu of ... "Kisses".  Yes, everything is called a "Kiss".  You can order a "Omelette Kiss", which is a choice of mushroom or bacon omelette.  A "Pizza Kiss", which, yup, is ust a mushroom or bacon pita pizza.  A "Sandwich Kiss"?  You guessed it, choice of mushroom or bacon, scrambled eggs, on a bun.  "Side Kisses" are bacon, salsa, guac, etc.  And finally, the part of the menu I looked at, "Sweet Kisses", their listings for the communal ghost kitchen's healthy vegan, gluten-free, keto cookies (they offer all 3 kinds here: chocolate chip, sea salt chocolate, and peanut butter), one of the cupcakes (carrot), and one brownie.

What With Rice is a rice bowl concept, your choice of shrimp, meatball, chicken, ground beef, tofu, hummus, etc. They have keto versions as well, with cauliflower rice instead of regular.  Their dessert menu includes one of the communal cookies (chocolate chip), and one pudding.  

Zoodle Hot Bar and Hellaplant Zucchini Pasta serve zucchini noodle bowls.  Etc, etc.  So many concepts, so specific.

Ketosexxx (Keto Desserts) is just the cookies (all 3 kinds, only available as 3-pack), keto "fat bombs" (truffles), and cupcakes.  These are the same items found on many of the other storefronts' dessert menus.

There are a ton more that I won't enumerate.  I've also already reviewed some of the standalone businesses, some of which were pretty great (the awesome dumplings from Korean Burrito Joint, the healthy veggies and pudding from Ben's Fast Food, decent takoyaki from Ramen Kobo Waraku, the best falafel I've ever had from Petit Pita, and a ton of Thai food from Basil Cart).  This review focuses on the items that are shared between a slew of ever changing virtual storefronts.

Pick Up Door.
Not really branded ...

Most customers get their items from these places via delivery, as the 60 Morris location is not really intended for walk ups, but I knew you could go yourself, and I was fascinated, interested to learn if it was as bad as the news reports.  Orders came with *very* clear instructions not to enter until your order was marked ready.  I was slightly apprehensive, but, hey, it was the covid times, and I was due for an adventure.

My first visit was fascinating.  Yes, the location was just a warehouse.  Outside, there is just a non-branded "Pick Up" sign.  No business names, as they change so frequently. There is a parking lot where you are instructed to wait until your order is ready, and an outside portable bathroom.  Once you go in, the regular delivery drivers scan a QR code on a tablet, but I was given a verbal code to tell the person at the window inside.  Orders are placed into a two-sided locker, and you pick it up from an assigned locker, without interacting with the staff directly.  Again I say, fascinating.

Side note: Stuck doing a lot of takeout and delivery these days? Want to try some free food and new pickup or delivery services?  Here are some codes for free money!

• Nextdish: ($10 off your first order) [ Delivery only ]
• Door Dash ($15 off, $5 each of your first 3 orders) [ Delivery or pickup ]
• Caviar ($20 off, $10 off your first 2 orders) [ Delivery or pickup ]
• Ritual ($6 off) [ Pickup only ]
• Delivery.com ($10 off) [ Delivery or pickup ]
• Grub Hub ($10 off) [ Delivery or pickup ]
• Seamless ($10 off) [ Delivery or pickup ]
• Allset ($5 off) [ Pickup only ]
• Nextdish: ($10 off your first order) [ Delivery only ]
• Uber Eats ($20 off - use code eats-lejw5 at checkout) [ Pickup or delivery ]

My orders were via Seamless, and all worked out in a timely manner ... no real qualms with the service I picked.

Baked Goods

The baked goods lineup contains cookies (3 kinds), cupcakes (2 kinds), and a brownie, all vegan, gluten-free, low sugar, keto, yadda yadda.

Packaging.

Depending which establishment you order from, the packaging sometimes bares a matching logo, but, it was quite clear the products were coming from the same place, just packaged into a bag with the correct logo sticker when you order from a given business.

Vegan Chocolate Chip Cookie. $3.90.
(From Quick Vegan).

"Homemade, Vegan, Low-carb, Almond flour based, Gluten-free cookie. Made with Monk fruit sweetener. Healthy and Yummy!"

Other venues call this the "Healthy Chocolate Chip Cookie","Keto Chocolate Chip Cookie", "Gluten free Chocolate Chip Cookie", or "Vegan Chocolate Chip Cookie".  It is all the same cookie.

Ok. So this is vegan.  AND low-carb (keto friendly). AND gluten-free.  And low sugar?  And, um, a cookie, which, as you know, I'm not the biggest fan of in terms of desserts.

But I actually liked this.

It was thin and crispy (not the style of cookie I tend to like), and it broke apart easily (as you can see, the edge was already broken off when I got it, but it *was* in the bag).  And the chocolate chips were not well distributed, and there were a paltry amount.

But again, I actually liked it.

The crispy style worked for it, and although it was gluten-free/vegan/low sugar/keto/etc, it tasted buttery and decadent.  And it did *not* have a strange, monkfruit sweetener taste to it.  The chocolate that was there seemed good quality.

I devoured in in a few seconds flat.  I was surprised.  A room temperature, crispy style cookie, and yeah.  Maybe I was in a mood?

I got it from Quick Vegan, where it was $3.90, but some of the others list it for $4.90.  While I liked the cookie, I can't imagine paying nearly $5 for a single cookie.  Also available by the half dozen for $19.90 at one place, 3 pack for $9.90 at another.

I'll have to try another.  ***.

And if it matters to you ... Calories:165 | Fat:16g | Protein:4g | Net Carbs:2g -per cookie-. *Contains nuts!

Vegan Chocolate Chip Cookie. $3.90.
(From Ketosexxx).

I quickly went back a few days later, to get it again, this time from Ketosexxx.  And then again, and again. I liked these cookies so much that I got them regularly.  Weekly.  From any of the vendors.

The style is always the same - thin, crispy, scant chocolate chips, looking slightly burnt at the edges, doesn't look great, sounds like, well, a gluten-free, vegan, keto cookie, but ... I love it!

Good to just devour immediately (so sweet! so buttery!), good to dunk in whipped cream (!), good to stuff with ice cream into an ice cream sandwich.

I'll continue to get these over and over again.  Yay vegan butter?

****.

Update: I've gotten them many more times, and feel *exactly* the same about them every time.  They never look great, they crumble apart instantly, the mouthfeel is odd, and yet ... I really like them.

Healthy Peanut Butter Cookie. $3.90.
(From Kiss My Bacon). 

"Low-carb Gluten Free Peanut Butter Cookie -No Sugar Added- (Gluten Free)."

Next up, I tried the peanut butter version, dubbed the "Healthy Peanut Butter Cookie" from Kiss My Bacon.  Not offered at most of the other "restaurants".

This is the one I expected to like, as I adore peanut butter.  It was ... less successful.  Same crumbly texture, and it was kinda buttery, but mostly, it was just dry.  Peanut butter is dry I guess?  Meh.  

It did have the signature peanut butter cookie fork marks on top.  Points for that.

Not bad exactly, but not very good.  **+. 

And again, if it matters ... Calories:117 | Fat:10g | Protein:4g | Net Carbs:2.5g -per cookie-  *Contains nuts!

Gluten Free Brownie. $4.90.
(Gluten Free Culture).

The gluten free brownie is ... different. It looks like a cupcake (sans frosting), but the texture is really quite odd.  Not cake-like.  Not crumbly, not dense, just ... odd.  Really hard to describe.  Almost moist in a greasy way?  It tasted kinda like coconut?

I couldn't quite decide how I felt about it, but I wouldn't get another. **+.

Drinks

The communal drinks are mostly just canned or bottled standard beverages, but they do have a couple "homemade" items.

Homemade Kefir. $4.90.
(From 'What's with Rice').

I knew this was under the drink menu, but I still hoped it would be a thick, yogurt style kefir.  I really do love thick, rich, yogurt-kefir, often known as "kefir cheese", and had been craving yogurt, fruit, and granola parfaits ... and had excellent granola and fruit at home.  I just needed some quality yogurt to go with!

But alas, this was a drink style kefir, a thin, well, drink.  Yogurt drink.  It was nicely balanced though, not too sweet, a touch savory, not too tart.  But just a yogurt drink.  Plain.  Not really my thing.  I bet it would be good with some mango blended in.

**+.

Update: Ok, it grew on me.  I found myself excited to take a few swigs of it, very cold direct from fridge, and I really liked the tart nature.  Hmm ...

Sides

Much like the desserts and drinks, there are a few sides that a bunch of businesses all offer, and I tried a bunch, particularly drawn in to housemade pickles.

Pickled Peppers. $2.90.
(From Ottoman Eats).

"Seasonal mixed pickles. (Gluten Free, Vegan)."

Super random, but, I had some mediocre crab salad at home, and wanted to jazz it up.  Pickled peppers sounded like just the thing.

Of course, I had no idea what to expect exactly, the description said they would be "seasonal" and "mixed", which, um, they weren't, just one kind, but they were whole peppers.

I popped one into my mouth without thinking.  WOAH!

These were spicy.  So spicy.  Loaded with seeds, and, well, I had the whole thing.

Amazing kick, juicy, good peppers.  But beware, so very spicy.

***.

Pickled Radish. $1.
(The Chicken Lab).

Next up, pickled radish. I liked this. 

Bite size chunks of crispy pickled diakon, slightly sour and tart.  A good condiment alongside spicy food.

***+, I'd get again.

Extra Pita Bread. $1.90.
(From Ottoman Eats).

"Classic white Greek flat bread. (Vegan)."

I also picked up the pita bread from Ottoman Eats, to go along with my krab salad (plan was to make little pita pockets).

The pita was actually really quite good, fresh, soft.  Cut into triangles, 8 (I think?) total.

It didn't seem to be a generic brand, and was better than I expected.  I think it is likely what is used for all the pita pizzas too?

***+.

Hard Boiled Egg. $1.90.
(Keto Bake & Bowl).

"2 pcs hard boiled large egg."

The description gave no indication that the hardboiled egg would be, uh, garnished, but I wasn't upset by this.  There was a splash of some kind of spicy oil that was quite tasty, and a scattering of herbs.

And otherwise, yup, a hard boiled egg.

And because it is from the keto place, of course they tell you: Calories: 78 Total Fat: 5g Protein: 6g NET CARB: 0.5g I (Gluten Free).

***.

Crispy Bacon. $4.90.
(Gluten Free Culture)

"2 slices applewood smoked bacon."

This was, literally, just two slices of crispy bacon.  I'll admit that I did expect it to even less exciting, as in, clearly cooked long in advance, etc, but it seemed fresh, it was hot and greasy.  And, it was indeed, as advertised, crispy.

Just bacon, not going to change your world, but, not flabby, and made to order, so, yay.

That said, $4.90 for literally 2 slices of bacon is a bit ridiculous.

***.

Fries. $4.95.
(Keto Grill).

Hot, thin, crispy, pretty standard, average, fries.  But ... they had pepper all over them!  I use pepper on plenty of things, but, my fries is not one of them.  I really, truly do NOT like the taste of pepper on fries.

Sadly, these went into the trash.

**.

Sauces

If you read my blog much, you know I'm a sauce girl, so of course I tried several of the common sauces.

Yogurt Sauce (x2) / Hot Sauce / Vegan Chipotle Aioli.
(What with Rice).

To go along with my sides, I ordered a trio of sauces from What with Rice, a random combo, I know.

I picked one of each that they offered besides the regular chipotle aioli (decided the vegan one was more interesting?) and doubled up on the yogurt sauce since I was planning to make Indian food that night, and thought it would go well with it.

Yogurt Sauce. $0.90.
(What with Rice).

"Homemade yogurt dressing with cucumber and mint. "

The yogurt sauce was decent.  A thin style, lightly spiced, bits of cucumber.

It was tangy, salty, and just, well, interesting and tasty.  It made me wish I really liked cucumbers, I think they'd be great to dunk in.

***.

I think, but I'm not positive, that this is the same as the Cucumber-Yogurt Dip (Tzatziki) from Ottoman Eats, from their Meze menu, served with pita bread and drizzled with olive oil, for $7.90 (likely a much larger portion).  They also offer a thicker style "Minty Yogurt Dip" Mezze.

Update: 

This really grew on me.  I liked dunking crudite in it, but I found that I also really liked just, uh, drinking it.  The light, salty, tangy nature of it was quite nice.

Cucumber Yogurt Sauce. Pesto. $0.90 each.
(Gluten-Free Culture)

The cucumber-yogurt sauce I really liked, tart in the right way, thick but not too thick, and loaded up with thinly shredded cucumber. Excellent for dipping carrots or cucumbers into! ***+.

The pesto I think was the same as from Zoodle Hot Noodle Bar, and I liked it on top of roast cauliflower.

Hot Sauce. $0.90.
(What with Rice)

I had no idea what kind of hot sauce the "hot sauce" would be, but it was a thicker style, looked almost like salsa, but was loaded with chiles.

The hot sauce was fine, pretty generic spicy taste, good to mix with soy sauce as a dipping sauce for dumplings.

***.

Vegan Chipotle Aioli. $1.90.
(What with Rice)

I "splurged" for the vegan chipotle aioli (they offer a regular version for $0.90).

It wasn't great, it tasted basically like ... mayo.

I wouldn't get this one again, but I did find it made decent deviled eggs, mixing it with yolk in place of standard mayo.

***.

Sriracha Mayo. Hot Sauce. $0.90 each.
(The Chicken Lab).

The sriracha aioli was ... odd.  At first, it tasted like thousand island.  Except, on the finish, after you'd expect it, you'd get hit by the spice.  Really odd, didn't really seem like aioli.  I didn't hate it, but it was strange to have thousand island that got a kick at the end ... **+.

The hot sauce was different from the other hot sauce I picked up at 60 Morris, this one tasted a lot like classic Frank's hot sauce, which makes sense, since The Chicken Lab is actually a wings place.  Very standard Frank's.  ***.

Salsa. $2.90.
(Keto Bake & Bowl).

"Homemade tomato and chili based spicy sauce. (Guten Free, Vegan)."

The salsa was actually pretty good.  Tasted quite fresh, had some chunks.  Just salsa, but, good salsa.

And for those who care:  Calories: 40 Total Fat: 0.5g Protein: 1.6g NET CARB: 4g

***.

Pesto. $0.90.
(Zoodle Hot Bar).

Zoodle Hot Bar offers up zucchini noodle bowls, with all different sauces normally used on pasta (e.g. alfredo, marinara, etc), and also, pesto.

I decided to try the pesto, an easy $0.90 add on.

They say it is homemade, and I believe it.  Seemed like decent quality, flavorful, well, pesto.  Classic, simple, but nicely done.

***+.

Tahini. $0.50.
(Mediterranean Vegan Bowls).

"Creamy Tahini (Sesame) Sauce."

The tahini was pretty standard tahini.  Too strong for my likes on its own, but nice to mix in with other Mediterranean dips, to dunk pita in, to have with falafel.

**+.

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