Costco Bakery

Update Reviews, 2024

Pastries

It has been a long time since I've had Costco pastries.  I do still have fond memories of their almond poppyseed muffins (which you can read about below), but I hadn't ever sought out more in recent years (and I'm not a Costco member).  But I recently attended an event with Costco pastries (I didn't know the source at the time), and thus, unbeknownst to me, got the chance to indulge again in Costco goodies.

Pastries.

The event had a selection of danishes - cheese, cherry, almond, and a bunch of cinnamon rolls, at least some of which were filled.  I picked two items to try, wishing they were cut in half so I could try more!

For a danish, I was torn between all three options, somewhat wanting the cheese one because that is one where even if the pastry is meh, you can scoop out all the filling and have a mini cheesecake, somewhat wanting the twice-baked almond one because I was drawn in by the slivered almonds and powdered sugar, but finally settled on the cherry one because it was the most limited.  Yes really, there was only one box of those, so they were somehow more special and exclusive.

The others I thought were all the same morning buns, but I realized later when looking at the photos that some were a lot thinner than others (e.g. the front middle ones), and mine definitely had unexpected filling in it, so I suspect there were actually several kinds here.

Cherry Danish.

The pastry was fairly lackluster.  Not particularly flaky, not particularly buttery.  It was unnaturally yellow.  But it wasn't stale.  Average generic pastry.  

The cherry filling was very flavorful, had plenty of goo, and the cherries were quite soft.  It was "cherry pie from a can" style, which isn't unpleasant if you are in the mood for it.  I later scooped it out and served it warm over ice cream.

The cherry and cheese danishes were drizzled with very sweet generic white icing.

So overall, nothing exactly wrong with it, but nothing great either.  The cherry filling was the best part.  The pastry was a bit better warmed up, but not much.  Very low  ***.

Update: I later found out that these are actually from Costco!  And apparently they stopped having them for a while and fans were outraged, and so they came back (just the cherry ones, they almond and cheese never left).  I guess I am alone in thinking they are mediocre? 

Raspberry Morning Bun.

After the lackluster danish, I didn't have high hopes for the bun, but it was much, much better.

When I grabbed this, I thought it was a regular cinnamon roll.  I was surprised when I looked more closely to see colored goo between the folds, rather than cinnamon filling.  The dusting on the outside that I had assumed was cinnamon and sugar turned out to be just sugar, and yes, that was raspberry filling inside.

The pastry itself was again fairly average, not particularly flaky, not particularly amazing flavor, but it wasn't strangely yellow, and was much better than the danish pastry.  It was actually quite good warmed up, as that made it more flaky, and brought out the buttery notes.  The raspberry filling was really fruity and flavorful, but there wasn't much of it.  Overall the sweetness was pleasant but not too sweet, even with the sugar on the outside.  

So warm, with some ice cream, I did quite enjoy this, once I wrapped my head around the fact that I wasn't having a cinnamon treat.  I am not sure if I've ever had a raspberry morning bun before, and it definitely worked.  Higher ***+.  I'd get this again.

Desserts

Another few events catered by Costco, and I had my eyes on the dessert.  I knew Costco makes great muffins, so I hoped the same would be true for other items.

Original Review, November 2021

Dessert Table: All Costco.

The dessert lineup was all from Costco.  I ... tried everything.

Caramel Tres Leches: Top. $12.99.

The Caramel Tres Leches is is an impressive looking dessert.

Layers visible from the sides, glaze on top, flakes of chocolate (which, to be honest, were a bit random.  Chocolate and tres leches and caramel?  Why the chocolate?)

Caramel Tres Leches: Side Profile. 

With a slice removed, you can see the layers better: two layers of the cream, two layers of the cake, all about equal in size.

The cake was quite moist, as you'd expect, and did seem to be soaked in some milks.  It was fine, but sweet, which I sorta expected.

The cream layers however did not provide any balance to the sweet cake.  The cream was crazy sweet, caramel cream, rather than traditional whipped cream found on tres leches cake.  It tasted like caramel, but had a strange aftertaste.  The texture was nice though, creamy and smooth.

Overall, this was just highly mediocre.  Not balanced, too sweet, and strange aftertaste.  But it looked good.

**+.

Caramel Flan. $12.99.

The flan looked almost homemade, swimming in a pool of caramel syrup.

It was fine.

Not too eggy, good texture, well set.  The syrup was sweet, but not particularly complex.

Basically, fine, but not notable in any way.

***.

Oatmeal Raisin Cookies.

Well, I don't really like cookies, and oatmeal raisin is fairly universally known as the worst of all the cookies, but ... these really were good for what they were.

Large size cookies, really soft, the way I do like my cookies.  Sweet in a decadent way.  Aggressively spiced but in a way that made them actually interesting.  Plentiful raisins, that were actually soft, not hard pellets. 

For a cookie, an oatmeal raisin one at that, there were actually good.  And for $0.30 each ... definitely a value.

***+.

Update Review, March 2024

Pi Day.  The sweet version.

Chocolate Peanut Butter.  $19.99.

"Butter & graham crust / peanut butter cream / chocolate cream."

I had heard about this thing when it came out right before Pi Day last year, and the internet went kinda crazy over it.  I was fairly thrilled to get to try it.  The hype was over the top, but I have access to fresh pies and good bakery items regularly, so I didn't really think a Costco item would be rate particularly highly for me.  I was ready to say, "meh".

It turns out, the hype was valid.  This thing, in full size, weighs 5 pounds.  They consider it 16 servings, but if you were to somehow go for the whole thing, it is 8,640 calories, 656 g fat ... and pure glory.

The crust is super crispy, graham and butter crust per their description, but super compressed (not sawdust like) and definitely heavy in the butter and sugar.  Basically like a Biscoff crust but with gritty texture.  It was great, and complimented the rest of the pie really well.

Above that is the peanut butter cream layer, which you can't see here, but there is a full peanut butter cream layer above the crust.  It has a strong peanut butter flavor, and is fluffy and rich.  A little goes a long way.

And then, chocolate cream, lighter, more mousse like, but also pretty rich.  Mild milk chocolate flavor.  Of course it went well with the peanut butter, classic pairing.

Each component was tasty, each component worked well with the others, and although it was very very rich overall, it was pretty delicious, and did leave me wanting just one more bite ... after a short break.  It isn't, at least for me, the type of dessert you immediately go back for seconds of, but you do plan them for the future.

****.  I'd score it more highly if it had a dark chocolate element, even just some dark chocolate shavings, to balance it out a bit more.

Apple Pie.  $12.99.

The apple pie is equally massive.  The pie weighs between 4.5-5lbs, and costs $12.99.  They consider it 16 servings.  And those would be pretty generous servings.

This is actually a pretty nice looking pie.  Full double crust (not lattice) with leaf shaped cutouts, studded with pearl sugar.  The crust looked, and tasted, homemade.  If anyone I knew had made a crust like that, I'd sing their praises.  It far surpassed any grocery store crust I've had before, and was on par with a good bakery crust.

The filling was good too - big bite size hunks of apple, nicely al dente, not soft or mushy.  Good spicing, and actually a fairly thick goo, not the pie-from-a-can style.

Overall, just, a really good apple pie, that, besides the giant size, could totally pass as bakery or homemade.  Even better warm with ice cream.  ****.

Original Review, Muffins, 2021

Feel free to judge away as you read this, I would.

You know Costco muffins.  Maybe you haven't bought them at Costco itself, but if you have ever had a muffin at a coffee shop or from a corner store where they aren't baked in-house, there is a very, very good chance they are Costco muffins.

They are easily recognizable.  First, they are huge.  Seriously, 2x the size of something that would already be considered a large muffin.  The diameter is impressive.  And they weight a ton.

They come in a few flavors: standard blueberry, almond poppy, or apple crumb, and then for the chocolate lovers, there are chocolate vanilla, chocolate banana, or double chocolate chip for those who don't even want to pretend this is "breakfast" food.  And honestly, these aren't really breakfast food.  Sugar is the second ingredient in all of them, after flour.  They have about 50g of sugar each, helping make up their 700 calories.  I told you they were hefty!

I got a bit fascinated by Costco muffins after having one and uh, liking it.  I found out some terrifying details, like that they have a 45 day shelf life, once they are brought to room temp (which is after they've been frozen at Costco, and frozen in the warehouses before that).  They have many ingredients that are probably not meant for human consumption.  They are miracles of food science.  They last forever, even when barely wrapped up in flimsy plastic wrap.  They don't get crumbly.  They remind me of the mutant ice cream my dad discovered once that never melted.

Almond Poppyseed.

This was the first Costsco muffin I had.  And I liked it.  It was huge and dense.  Very moist, particularly on top, where it was kinda a bit gummy.  So generic, but totally endearing.  It really was exactly what I remembered muffins being.  I can't recall the last time I had this style of muffin in the past ... 10 years?  15?  They are nothing like homemade, nothing like what I get fresh baked at bakeries around town.

The completely amusing thing to me is that we have fresh muffins every morning at work.  They are house made.  They use real ingredients.  And ... I got sick of them long ago.  I passed up my office's fresh corn blueberry muffin in order to eat this Costco one.  I can honestly say I preferred the Costco one, although I'm hoping it was just due to the novelty and change.  I couldn't possibly like this thing based on its merits, right?

Anyway, back to the muffin.  The top was my favorite part.  Again, amusing, as it wasn't crisp, but rather gummy.  Kinda gross when I think about it.  But I liked it.  The sides and bottom were disappointing, a bit dry and over-brown.  This didn't matter though, since the thing was so ridiculously big that I still have plenty of muffin to eat by just consuming the top and the insides.  Just consider the edges and bottom as part of the wrapper :)

It was loaded with poppy seeds.  Seriously, so many seeds.  They added a delightful crunch to every bite.  The almond flavor is what really made it special.  Most poppy seed muffins are lemon, which I don't like nearly as much.  The almond flavor was just so nice.

It was also insanely buttery.  Well, I guess not buttery, uh, shortening-y.  Part of the magic to keep it moist, and part of why its fat content is through the roof.  These aren't really suitable for human consumption on a regular basis.

I don't care how much you judge me, I liked this thing.  If I was somewhere that had them, and I was hungry, I'd totally get another.  I sorta wish I'd gotten two when I got this one, particularly now that I know I can keep it for 45 days.  Shutter.

Update Review, May 2021

It has been years since I had a Costco muffin, but I remembered the poppyseed always being my favorite.  Unlike nearly every poppyseed muffin on the market, this one is *not* lemon poppyseed.  No, it is *almond* poppyseed.

It lived up to my memories.  Mind you, this is not a homemade tasting muffin, you can tell it is a mass produced generic muffin.  So bad for you, really, yet so good.

I loved the crunch of poppy seeds, the strong almond marzipan-like flavor.  

****.

Blueberry.

Ok, so maybe I went back to the corner store where I found the poppyseed muffin to get another.  The blueberry didn't look good, but they had only blueberry and chocolate banana when I went back.  Whoops.  Did I just admit that I went back for one?

The muffin seemed very basic, just a plain muffin with some blueberries in it.  It didn't have the lovely almond flavor that made the poppy seed muffin so special.  The muffin was again very moist and dense.  If you blindfolded me and fed me a piece of it, I would have thought it was poundcake, not a muffin.  And, that is where this falls down for me.  I haven't met a poundcake I liked.  And seriously, this was a poundcake.  The base way too sweet to really be a muffin.  If you like poundcake, you would like this.

The berries were impressive though, which I know sounds ridiculous, as I'm sure they were just frozen crap, but they were really moist and popped with fruitiness when you bit into them.

I was slightly fascinated by this muffin, mostly in how cakey it was, so I kept trying it, but pretty much hated every bite, and I certainly wouldn't get another.  Ojan, who loves blueberry muffins, also refused to have even more than a bite of this.  He independently deemed it a poundcake.

*+.

Chocolate Banana.

I got this at the same time as the blueberry, again, it didn't look good, and I don't really like banana muffins, but they didn't have my precious poppy seed, and if that muffin taught me anything, it was not to judge.  So I tried the chocolate banana.

It was as bad as it looked.  Dried out yet gummy moist on top.  The chocolate chips were all on top, the rest was just a plain sweet "muffin" base, totally uninteresting.  Again, it seemed like a sweet pound cake.  Likely the same base as the blueberry muffin.  It was banana flavored, but there was no evidence of actual banana - no chunks, no coloring, etc.  On top was also some lighter colored bits, I guess trying to be a streusel, but they were dried out and flavorless.

I tried to give this to Ojan,  but he wouldn't even try it.  Even though I hated it, I couldn't let a giant muffin go to waste.  With my expectations reset, I warmed up a chunk in the toaster oven.  Now it was a bit moister.  And since I was expecting cake and not a muffin, I served it with ice cream as dessert.  Far more appropriate.  Was it amazing?  No way.  Would I get another?  Definitely not.  But, it was salvaged.  Toaster ovens and ice cream can save just about anything in my world :)

**.

Double Chocolate (May 2021).

MEH.  While I adore the almond poppyseed muffin, the same cannot be said about the double chocolate.

This was such a boring muffin.  Light chocolate flavor, not deep and rich, and certainly nothing like a chocolate cake.  It wasn't stale, but was fairly dry.  Not moist.

The "double" chocolate came in the form of 2-3 chocolate chunks in my muffin.  Bo-ring.

Highly underwhelming, and I'd like to know what they put in it to make it 680 calories and yet ... not even tasty!

I salvaged it by soaking it in milk, warming it up, and serving a la mode, more like a cake, and that was ok, but I clearly wouldn't get another.

**.