Group Dining at Cafeteria

I don't remember what year I first visited New York City; I suspect it was somewhere around 2007.  What I do remember is going with a group of friends at some ridiculous hour in the morning to Cafeteria, where we ate mac and cheese.  It was after a long night out, so I don't really remember much else, besides the restaurant name as it is a bit unique, and mac and cheese (it did happen to be shortly after a phase of life where I led co-workers to get mac and cheese for lunch nearly daily so very on brand for me athte time).  In the few years that followed, we wound up there at other random times of day/night.  I remember it being busy, hip, and full of mac and cheese.  I vaguely remembered something about dessert.  And cocktails, lots of cocktails.

And then about 19 years passed, and suddenly I found myself with an invite to a group work dinner at Cafeteria.  I was slightly amazed it still existed (and has been around since 1998 it turns out), but my brain had a bit of trouble thinking of it as a place for a formal work dinner, when my previous experiences were always not at regular dinner hours.  I was still kinda excited to go, because, mac and cheese.

Setting

The restaurant is large and loud. There is an outside dining area, a main dining room on the ground floor, and a downstairs, in addition to the private back room where we were.  In my younger years, I think we were always seated downstairs, and I think I was probably part of the ruckus, so the noise level isn't anything I remembered from back then.  But it was a dominant aspect of our experience this time.

Private Dining Room.

We had the private dining room, which was separate from the rest of the restaurant, however the noise still carried significantly.  The wall adjacent to the dining room was padded, which somehow didn't seem to help damper the noise. It was impossible to hear the person directly across from you, let alone someone elsewhere at the table not immediately to your side.  This was a bit of a bummer given that this was a team bonding event.

However the space was quite nice, and they did a nice job with seasonal decorations at the table.  We also had a private bathroom directly attached to our area, which made it feel a bit special and exclusive (and it had great quality products in it!).

Wall.

The wall that wasn't padded was instead decorated with takeout boxes, cups, and bags.  It was cute, but very visually busy.

Prix Fixe Menu.
Dinner $75/head.

The menu for groups is all family style.  They do not have options for format, only which dishes the host selects to be offered.  All dinners start with their biscuits, have choice of 3 apps, 3 mains, 2 sides, and 2 desserts, which yes, seems like way too much food.  Within most categories you can upgrade to pricier options for $5 or $10/pp, which could make this actually $115/person.

Our Menu.

I was a bit let down by the menu selected for us, as it just wasn't the dishes I was most excited for.  

• First Course
• Blistered shishitos (citrus sea salt)
• Mac + cheese (cheddar & fontina with truffle oil)
• Old school meatballs (roasted tomato sauce, fresh ricotta, basil, parmesan, toasted filone)
• Second Course
• Shrimp risotto (meyer lemon, buffalo butter, sautéed garlic, white wine, aleppo chili)
• Cavatelli (slow cooked short rib ragu, roasted tomato sauce, soubise, gremolata, grana padano)
• Fried chicken & waffle (buttermilk waffle, crispy sage, grilled lemon, chili butter, maple jus)
• Ravioli (spinach, ricotta, first pressed olive oil, lemon, 36 month aged parmesan)
• Sides
• Broccolini (lemon, chili, garlic)
• Polenta fries (basil aioli)
• Desserts
• Yodels (red velvet)
• Berries and cream

For appetizers, I adore deviled eggs, and I'm mostly pescatarian, so I really wanted the crispy calamari and crispy rock shrimp for apps, but we had the ho-hum shisitos and meatballs instead (but was glad we had the mac and cheese!).  I sorta wanted the meatloaf and mash or branzino for a main, and wasn't really interested in any of the pastas, yet we had all of them.  I hate broccolini, and would have preferred mashed potatoes for the sides.  And gah, no carrot cake for dessert?!  Just not the items I would have selected.  Our menu was also very carb heavy and low protein, a fact which multiple people commented on.

It was also waaaaay too much food, but the staff did nicely provide containers upon my asking for us to box up what we wanted to take home.  Most of us left with goodie bags, either for ourselves, partners who couldn't join, or, in some cases, beloved dogs.  

Our host did upgrade one entree (+$5/pp) and also opted to include a 4th main, which was an additional $15/pp, which meant our menu was $95pp.

Drinks

Cafeteria offers several drink packages charged by the guest for several hours, but our host picked the unrestricted charge on consumption option for us, which I greatly appreciated. This meant I could select from their actually interesting full cocktail menu, rather than a reduced drink package selection.

Smoke Show. $17.

"Mezcal, ginger lime, blackberry ice cube *limited availability*"

I love mezcal, so I was excited to see a mezcal cocktail on the menu as they aren't all that common. It was marked as "limited availability" but myself and two others had no trouble ordering it.

It was an attractive drink, hard to see the photo, but there is a huge blackberry ice cube in the center.

I really liked it at first - smoky, mezcal forward, but as the ice melted it got considerably sweeter, until I was drinking a fruity cocktail, which is not what I wanted at all.  If you get this, and you don't want a fruity beach drink, drink it faster. 4/5 at first, but 2/5 by the second half, so 3/5 overall.

Upwell Cabernet Sauvignon. $18.

"Sonoma, CA. 2024."

I moved on to the only cab available by the glass.

It was not very good.  Harsh. Too young.  Priced per glass higher than the cost of a bottle elsewhere. Meh. 2/5.

Appetizers

The meal started with biscuits served 30 minutes after we were seated, then with a lull for 20 minutes before the rest of the appetizers.  I would have preferred the timing be pulled in about 15 minutes, as it felt a bit long.

Biscuits.

"Homemade buttermilk biscuits salted butter."

I love a good biscuit, and as these are a fixture on Cafeteria's menu at all times of day I had hopes they'd be decent, but I really didn't enjoy them. They were served warm, which was nic, but they were hard, dry, and had no buttermilk tang.  Meh.  Tied for worse item we got. 1/5.

Blistered Shishitos.

"Citrus sea salt."

I wasn't overly excited about these as I'm not all that into shishitos and our menu sounded so heavy I didn't really want fried veggies on top of that, but actually, I couldn't have them as they are fried in the same fryer as the avocado for the veggie tacos, and I'm allergic to avocado.   This was the only vegetable in our entire menu, but no one seemed into them, and they went unfinished (and no one wanted the leftovers).

$14 on the regular menu.

Old School Meatballs.

"Roasted tomato sauce, fresh ricotta basil, parmesan, toasted filone."

Our only substantial protein, and only non-carb dish (besides the shisitos) was meatballs.  They came attractively presented with fresh basil on top, and big gobs of ricotta. 

The meatballs were a large size, and were very herby.  A soft style meatball.  While I knew they were beef, I tasted more herbs, breadcrumbs, and sauce, that meat.  The sauce was fairly classic tomato sauce, not remarkable. Ricotta was ricotta.

A fine but not interesting or memorable dish. 3/5.

$16 on the regular menu.

Toasted Filone.

I say that the meatballs were the only non-carb besides the shishitos, but actually, they came with huge pieces of toasted bread. The bread was brought out much later though, and most people didn't realize it was for the meatballs or had already finished theirs.

I tried it and wished I hadn't.  It was exceptionally crusty, the kind of over toasting that makes it hurt your mouth. The other item tied for worst. 1/5.

Deviled Eggs. $9.
(Not included).

"Paprika, crispy proscuitto."

Because I couldn't have the shishitos, I was allowed to order another appetizer for myself.  However, they use the same frier for everything, which meant I couldn't pick any of my top choices such as fried calamari or crispy rock shrimp.  The other seafood starters had avocado.  But I do adore deviled eggs, so this was a nice choice.

It was an attractive trio, with vibrant slices of radish and functional garnishes of crispy salty prosciutto and capers.  Although only 3 halves, they clearly used more yolk than just the half in each.  The filling was creamy, the egg white bases not rubbery. Pretty classic overstuffed deviled eggs, but not very memorable as they didn't have any special element besides perhaps the tiny toppings.

My favorite of the appetizers, but still just a 3/5 as they were highly average.

Mac and Cheese.

"Cheddar and fontina."

As I've alluded to,mac and cheese is a signature dish at Cafeteria.  On the regular menu, it is an entire separate menu section, and not considered an appetizer. They make 3 varieties (cheddar and fontina, a truffle oil version, or smoked gouda and bacon). You can also get a flight of all 3, or opt for mac and cheese spring rolls with cheese dipping sauce instead.

We had the most basic version, and alas, the one with fontina, a cheese I don't really care for.  It did look decent though, with a broiled cheese crust on top (although I think I prefer bread crumbs, or some crispy bits of mac around the edges, this had neither).

Mac & cheese: inside.

It looked great inside too. Really creamy, nicey cheesy, not watery, etc.  But it didn't really excite me. It just didn't have that much flavor to it besides cheese, and the pasta was softer than I'd like. Nothing notable about this at all.  Very low 3/5.

$16 on the regular menu (or $17 for the bacon or truffle versions).

Mains

It took nearly an hour for our mains to arrive. The lull was extensive.  One person left, given that they'd had a full meal at that point really anyway.  It also took 10 minutes to serve the mains once they started coming out (the appetizers were served all within a few minutes), which was a bit awkward.

Shrimp Risotto.

"Meyer lemon, buffalo butter, sauteed garlic, white wine, aleppo chili."

I am not a risotto person, but this was the only seafood dish so it is what I went for first.  I almost liked it.  Almost. It was really nicely creamy. The rice was well cooked.  But it had a really strange sour aftertaste.  I later tried using the spicy and the sweet sauces from the chicken and waffles to mask it a bit, but, something was just a bit off there. Too much lemon perhaps?  Except it didn't taste overly lemon-y, just, sour.  It is a shame, as it was well cooked and so creamy.

The shrimp were fairly large size, and were succulent, but were a bit tough and not all were properly cleaned.

Another mediocre low 3/5. The worst of the mains, sadly. $30 on the regular menu.

Cavatelli.

"Slow cooked short rib ragu, spicy vodka sauce, soubise, gremolata, grana padano."

I'm not a red sauce pasta girl, and I don't eat that much red meat, but this wasn't bad.  The short rib was really tender and flavorful, and the sauce decent. The pasta itself was forgettable, but at least not too mushy.  I loved the fried basil on top.

My favorite of the main dishes, but not really something I'd get again.  3/5, $30 on the regular menu.

Fried Chicken & Waffles.
+$5/pp.

"Buttermilk waffle, crispy sage, grilled lemon, chili butter, maple ju."

The other well known dish at Cafeteria is the chicken and waffles, available at brunch or dinner.  It used the same fryer as the avocado, but also I don't care for chicken, so I didn't mind skipping this.  No one in the group seemed all that excited by the chicken.

This dish carried a $5/pp upcharge from the regular prix fixe menu, which I found suspicious given that it costs the same as the risotto and the pasta on the regular menu ($30).

Waffles.

And of course, because everything needed carbs, the waffles.  Most people didn't even try one of these.  No one wanted more filler at this point.  I of course did try one, and found it pretty meh - not very warm, way too soft and spongy, no interesting base flavor.  Certainly didn't seem freshly made as it had no crispness.  Tied for worst dish with the bread for the meatballs. 1/5.

The sauces were described as "chili butter" and "maple jus". I tried them both, mostly on the risotto.  The chili butter was slightly spicy, but I'm unclear on the butter aspect of it, as it was a thick sauce and ... didn't taste like butter?  The maple jus was, uh, maple syrup? They were both fine.

Housemade Ravioli.

"Spinach, ricotta, first pressed olive oil, lemon, 36 month aged parmesan."

There are actually no vegetarian main dish choices on Cafeteria's prix fixe menu.  If you inquire about this, you can add one on (a token pasta or veggie burger) but it costs $15 more per person (for the whole group), which is crazy as it is just $26 on the regular menu.  For our group, that meant upcharge of $300 for 3 plates this size, which, best I can tell, was the regular portion.  This really didn't seem right. Our host added this though, as we had one vegetarian.

This was the least attractive dish by far.  It was interesting to see so little plating care given to it, compared to all the others.

The pasta itself was the most impressive part of the dish.  It was really pliable, fairy thin, and really well made. All were perfectly sealed. This is housemade ravioli, and you could tell.  It was far better than generic supermarket ravioli. The filling was quite flavorful - I was surprised by how spinach-forward the taste was, even though it was an equal looking mix of spinach and cheese.  The ricotta was fine, although it tasted a bit like goat cheese to me several times, which confused me greatly (also, I dislike goat cheese).  The sauce was simple and fine, although a bit broken. 

This was another ok, but non-memorable, 3/5 dish.

Sides

Our sides came after the main dishes, a bit behind.  There was enough of a delay that I wondered if they'd been forgotten, and enough of a delay that most people didn't end up trying them, as they were far too full by the time they came.

Polenta Fries.

"Basil aioli".

Cafeteria has regular fries, truffle fries, and sweet potato fries all on the menu, but our host picked the polenta fries, which sounded the most interesting to me, so I was excited for his pick.  But alas of course because they shared the same fryer, I shouldn't eat them.  They looked so inviting though, golden brown, massive.  And no one was taking them.  I couldn't resist.

I tried a small piece of one.  It was nicely crispy outside, creamy inside.  Definitely more polenta than fries though.  The basil aioli was not particularly strong basil flavor, but it was creamy and I like aioli in general, so this was something I enjoyed. I was sad that most people didn't actually try these, but they were just too stuffed full of heavy carbs at that point.

$12 on the regular menu, the best of the sides, and my favorite of the savory dishes. 3.5/5.

Broccolini.

"Lemon, chili, garlic"

Oh! We did have another vegetable. I actually forgot this was on the menu as I loathe broccolini, but, yes, we had broccolini.  Most people either didn't touch it, or took one piece, and disliked it. They said it was far too mushy.

Sauteed Green Beans. $10.

"Garlic."

Since I technically couldn't have the polenta fries, I was allowed another side choice, and picked the green beans so that I would have some vegetable in my meal.

The beans were ok, but really quite oily.  With such a heavy meal, they felt too heavy, I really wanted just steamed veggies at this point.  They were also softer than I'd prefer. And many still had stems on them.  I did like the big hunks of garlic. Low 3/5.

Dessert

The dessert from the Cafeteria menu I was most excited for was the mile high carrot cake, but alas, it wasn't on our menu.

Berries & Cream.

The berries were actually really good.  Just blueberries and strawberries, but they were perfectly ripe and flavorful. There was some fresh mint to brighten them up too.  Of course I adored the huge glob of whipped cream on top (yes, that is cream, not ice cream). 4/5 for both of these, above average.  My favorite part of the meal.

Not pictured is vanilla ice cream, also served in goblets.  It was very French vanilla / custardy style, which I don't generally care for, but the texture was great, it was served at perfect temperature, just not a flavor I like.  The also make chocolate, strawberry, brown butter pecan ice creams, and lemon or black currant sorbet all in house.

Red Velvet Yodels.

The main dessert was their yodels, red velvet.  At the restaurant for regular dinner, this is served with a vanilla milkshake, which is kinda cute, but ours came without.

These were fine.  The cake was moist, the cream cheese frosting was thick and rich, the chocolate shell was decent.  The ratios all made sense.  I'm not a snack cake person, and red velvet isn't one of my top flavors for cake, but this was enjoyable enough, particularly when paired with the ice cream.  Fine, but forgettable, like many elements of this dinner. 3/5.

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Sheraton Tribeca, Executive Lounge

I live in New York now, so why am I reviewing a hotel there?  Well, due to a conference getting cancelled at last minute (!), I wound up not using a high value free night award that comes with my credit card, so I decided to do a little staycation before it expired.  But in NYC, nearly every full service hotel has a daily amenity/destination/resort fee.  I didn't want to actually *pay* to utilize my free night, even if some of those come with a F&B credit that sorta makes up for it.  This left with me with only two options in all of Manhattan, besides Residence Inn/Fairfield Inn/etc level hotels: The Renaissance Midtown (which I've stayed at and reviewed before) and the Sheraton Tribeca.  Given that I didn't care for the Renaissance, and the fact that the Sheraton just completed a full renovation a few months prior, it seemed like the right choice.  

I did partially pick this for the Club Lounge, a rare thing in the city.  I visited both at night for the evening offerings, and in the morning for breakfast.

Breakfast

Breakfast is served 6:30-9am M-F and 7-10am on weekends.  The 9am stop seemed a bit early, particularly for those coming in from other timezones, but still nice to see they served 7 days a week, as many places have dropped weekends.

The lineup is your standard continental offering plus a couple hot items.  The single coffee machine was in high demand.

Fruit and Yogurt.

The yogurt was little pots of an off-brand (Upstate Farms), and the fruit was melons/grapes/pineapple only, no berries.  I'm allergic to melons so I had to avoid this.  The yogurt was just sitting on the counter like this, not kept cold, which was ... a choice.  They had plain, vanilla, and one fruity flavor.

Breads.

White or wheat bread, several kinds of bagels, and English muffins for toasting.

Condiments.

Generic packets of jelly, butter, and cream cheese, plus randomly some packaged room temp Belgian waffles were up top.

Pastries.

Below were generic pastries, all croissants/danishes, no scones nor muffins.

I first tried the almond croissant.  It was exceptionally dry and stale tasting.  The filling was even dry, not like a usual moist paste. 1/5.

Pecan Swirl.

I stopped back by the lounge to get more coffee 2 hours later, and they were cleaning up post-breakfast, but still had the pastries remaining.  I couldn't help grab another, this time, the pecan swirl.  The pastry was again very dry and not fresh tasting.  The bits of pecan were fine, the sticky topping was ok, sorta sticky bun inspired, but it mostly made me want it to actually be a sticky bun.  1.5/5.

Pain au Chocolat.

I was really, really craving chocolate.  I always have chocolate in the morning with my coffee, and although I brought some with me, I didn't bring enough.  I was really craving chocolate, so once breakfast was long over, and there was still a pain au chocolat sitting there, I grabbed it, not for the pastry that I knew at that point would be dry and stale, but for the filling.

Alas, even the filling let me down.  Instead of the usual bars of chocolate, this was actually a very thin layer of chocolate paste.  Barely any inside, just two thin strips of the paste.  Not chocolate.  Boo.  1/5.

Cereal.

Cereal rounded out the cold lineup, with Cheerios, granola, and what looked like Cinnamon Toast Crunch.  I had the granola, it was fine, with raisins, but not a style I really like.

Juice & Oatmeal.

I tried the oatmeal, it was very thick, and not cooked very well. 2/5.  Toppings were things like cinnamon, coconut, sliced nuts, dried fruit.  No chocolate chips.

Scrambled Eggs.

The hot food was super basic, starting with scrambled eggs.  Clearly powdered style, dry, no real flavor to them. 1/5.

Bacon.

Bacon came next, I didn't try it.

Sausage.

The final hot offering was sausage links.  Not labelled, but I assume pork.  They had a nice snap, and decent maple flavor, but were clearly very low quality ultra processed meat, as they didn't taste like actual meat. 2/5.

There were no warm vegetables, pancakes, etc.

Evening Drinks & Snacks

It is notable that the Sheraton does offer complimentary drinks, including alcohol, and snacks, every night from 5:30-7:30pm.  Most Manhattan properties 1) don't have alcohol and 2) don't serve on weekends.  That said, this isn't a particularly compelling offering.

Soft Drinks.

All day long there is a fridge stocked with bottles of water, Coke, Diet Coke, Sprite, ginger ale and Fanta.  The bottled water was nice at least, and they did have a tap with sparkling water.

Wine.

I was impressed they had more than just a single white and red to pick from, but instead had 2 reds, a white (chardonnay), and a rose.  Unfortunately, neither of the reds I tried was good (they are in the $5-7/bottle range).

Gato Negro Red Blend:  This tastes like children's grape juice.  Not wine.  Grape juice.

Harthill Farms Cabernet Sauvignon: This was at least wine-like, but super harsh and acidic.

I wasn't quite sure if I was supposed to serve myself or not, but the staff member didn't seem to mind that I did.

Beer.

They also had two kinds of beer.  Likely a safer choice if you like beer.  They seemed ok with people walking out with the beer.

Veggies / Cheese / etc.

A pretty generic lineup of carrots/celery/tomatoes, one kind of meat, 3 kinds of cheese cubes, tortilla chips, and several dips (hummus, ranch, guac).  Strangely no salsa.

I tried the veggies, they were fine. Crisp. 3/5.

Mozzarella sticks.

The hot foods weren't labelled, but these were mozzarella sticks.  Soggy.  Barely warm.  No dipping sauce available. 2/5.

Spring Rolls / Dumplings.

Since they weren't labelled, I wasn't sure what to expect inside, but the spring rolls turned out to be veggie, the dumplings ... mystery meat.  Perhaps chicken?

The spring rolls were even soggier than the mozzarella sticks, and had mushy insides.  2/5.  The dumpling wrappers were ok, but some were really dried out.  2.5/5.  They did have sweet chili sauce to dunk these in, but no soy sauce.

Everything seemed microwaved perhaps.  Not high quality.

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Burmese Bites

Burmese is not a cuisine I know well at all.  It is obviously not nearly as common as other Southeast Asian cuisine, so I don't just stumble upon it, and haven't had any natural exposure to it. At some point early on while living in San Francisco, I definitely went to Burma Superstar for the famous tea leaf salad as that is a thing people did, and later on I did pick up a few togo salads and sandwiches from Burma Love at the airport (which I reviewed), but that is likely all the Burmese food I have had. I haven't ever actively sought it out.

And then, it came to me.  My office has a program where they bring in outside food popups for a 3 day run, and there was much buzz and excitement when the vendor of the week was listed: Burmese Bites.

"Discover the vibrant flavors of Burma at Burmese Bites in Astoria, NY. Our authentic menu boasts a selection of traditional dishes, expertly crafted to bring the tastes of Burma right to your doorstep. From aromatic curries to savory noodles, enjoy the rich culinary heritage of Burma with every bite."

My understanding from talking with co-workers, and reading a bit online, is that Burmese Bites was a fixture at the Queens night market, super popular, delicious, etc, and then they stopped attending and were able to open a brick and mortar this past July.   It too, seems well loved.  

Given the acclaim, and the fact that it was a cuisine I knew little about and would love to learn more, I quickly moved my meeting schedule around to carve off time to be at the popup as close to opening as possible (because, zomg, lines).  I managed to visit every day they were there to try several dishes. 

I liked what I had, but the limited menu served at our event was not items I would ever normally select, so I'd really like to try again with a different selection.

Menu.

Our menu had three entree choices, two chicken, one vegetarian:

• Coconut Ramen
• Nan Gyi Kaukswe Thoke
• Vegetable Dum Pot

The two chicken dishes had noodles (different kinds) and the vegetarian dish came over rice.

Noodles/rice.

They had a very efficient setup, with one staff member plating up the two kinds of noodles or rice in batches.

Mains.

Then the mains were added on top by another worker when you ordered.

Toppings.

And finally, the garnishes applied by a third.

Chilis!

I loved that they had some legit red chilis for us to apply ourselves to get the desired spice level.

Nan Gyi Kaukswe Thoke 
Burmese Udon Noodle Salad. $16.

"Thick rice noodles in chicken meat sauce, garnished with roasted bean powder, onion, cilantro, lime, hard-boiled egg, and chili powder."

The first time, I went for the nan gyi kaukswe thoke, or "the chicken noodles" as the staff called it.  Yes, I picked this even though I don't really like udon and definitely don't like chicken.  But I wasn't feeling the rice as the base of the veggie dish, and logistically I didn't want to deal with messier/harder to transport ramen (that also had chicken).

I did like this, but certainly would have preferred another protein.  The noodles were well cooked, not too soft, not mushy, not clumped together.  The chicken meat sauce was really quite flavorful, although yes, chicken.  Besides the chicken flavor though, I liked the depth to it. Once stirred together, it coated the noodles really well.  The red onion was raw, but somehow wasn't harsh.  I opted for no cilantro.

The egg was ok but not great.  The white part was perfect, not rubbery, but inside was really too firm, kinda gray, and was strongly flavored.  

Overall, a comforting dish, and one I'd get again ... with a different protein if given the option.  3/5 for my preferences, but it really was better than that.  My favorite of the dishes I tried.

Ohno Kaukswe / coconut chicken noodle soup
/ Burmese coconut ramen

"Wheat noodles in thick chicken broth cooked in coconut milk, topped with shredded onion, hard boiled egg, chopped cilantro. A wedge of lime and chili flakes are optional but highly recommended."

I was very excited the next day to get the “chicken soup”, even though that’s the last thing you’d ever normally find me ordering. I read a ton of reviews about Burmese Bites after my visit the first day, and this dish seemed universally loved (which also probably explains why everyone ahead of me in line both days was getting it), but most importantly to me, people compared it to khao soi. I fell in love with khao soi the first time I had it, so this sounded amazing to me.

Sadly, I didn’t end up liking it. It had the same ground chicken topping as the noodle salad, that I almost like (but, gah, chicken!), but it also had broth that also was chicken. Yes, slightly masked by coconut, but, it was chicken. I did not care for it. The noodles and toppings were the same (I forgot to ask for no cilantro).

2/5 for me on taste, but there was nothing wrong with this.

Vegetable Dum Pot (no rice).

"Basmati rice, mixed veggies and biryani spices."

The final day I got the vegetarian option.  This is supposed to be Burmese Biryani, but I got it without the rice, as I just wanted the veggies.  At the restaurant, this is also available with chicken, beef, or goat.

It was basically a gloopy stew.  I'm sure it eats very differently over rice, so some of this is my fault.  But the gloop just wasn't very enjoyable, and the flavors aren't ones I generally like either (cloves, cumin, turmeric, cardamom, cinnamon in savory food).  The veggies (huge hunks of cauliflower, some cabbage, carrot coins, eggplant) were all fine, not too mushy.

So sadly another 2/5 for me, but again, I omitted the rice, and I don't like these spices in general.

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Orion Turtle Chips

As you know, I love snacks.  Even better is snacks from other countries.  And best yet, snacks with interesting flavors.  Which gets us to Orion, a South Korean brand, one of the top manufacturers in the country.

Orion makes Orion a variety of items, like biscuits, cookies, pies, crackers, chips, chocolate, gum, and candy.  If you don't recognize the Orion name, you may know one of its products: Choco Pie, its top seller that has been around since 1974.

"Turtle Chips are characterized by rich texture and double flavor because they create the feeling of eating several chips with only one bite. When you slowly chew your sweets, it maximizes crispiness in your mouth and the resembling turtles are also the alluring features of Turtle Chips."

The largest of their chip lines is the kkobuk chips, or "turtle chips".  The name of the chip comes from the shape, that somewhat resembles a turtle shell.  The come in many flavors, both savory and sweet.  On the savory side, flavors include truffle, corn soup, shrimp, crunch cheese, flamin lime, onion, nutty bean, and seaweed. For sweet, there is vanilla, sweet soybean, cinnamon, and choco churro.  I've tried every flavor I could get my hands on.

Update Review, October 2026

Flamin' Lime.

“Four-layer corn crisps covered with a hot and tangy blend of red chili peppers and lime. Named for their turtle shell shape, these richly textured multi-layer chips create the experience of eating four flaming-hot chips at once with every fiery, crunchy bite.”

These are definitely not a flavor I’d ever pick.  I do like spicy, but I don’t care for lime, and don’t care for Mexican flavors, as these seemed inspired by.  But when they had them stocked in my office ... of course I tried them.

They were zesty, they had salsa sort of flavors going on with tomatoes and chiles, and they tasted a bit like flavored tortilla chips ... just, not what I really care for.

But … I still adored the actual form factor of them, they were sooo snackable, I loved how they dissolved in my mouth, and I really truly wanted to appreciate the salsa-eque thing going on, I just didn’t.  So 4/5 on form factor, texture, fun, but 3/5 for me due to the flavor.

Update Review, May 2025

Truffle.

"Truffle is one of the most expensive foods you can buy. It is scarce to produce, seasonal, extremely difficult to grow and take many years to cultivate. Truffles provide oaky, nutty and earthy, sweet and juicy aroma which you can't taste from any other food. Transforming this unique and delicate truffle flavor into delightful crunchy bags of chips is ultimately amazing! Layers of crispiness and truffle flavor goodness leave a mark in your heart leaving you craving for another bite, and another, and another!"

This was my first time trying a savory flavor of turtle chip.  I started off my savory journey at the top: truffle!

Well, sorta savory that is.  My first bite left me a bit confused.  As always I absolutely adored the turtle chip form factor: light, airy, crispy, so many layers, zomg, why aren't all snack foods turtle chips?  But the flavor was very confusing.  I did taste the truffle salt.  I also tasted a ton of other savory elements: potato powder, onion powder, sour cream powder, butter powder, oregano, basil, parsley, they all did their job of creating quite a complex mix of flavors.  But those were only about half the ingredients.  There was also sugar.  And fructose.  And stevia.  And molasses powder.  And aspartame.  Yup, um, every common sweetening agent was also in here.  So they were savory, but very sweet, and not in a kettle corn way.

I loved the turtle form.  I really like the first hit of truffle.  I think I liked the other savory flavors, although they did seem a bit muddled.  But ... my brain didn't love the sweetness mixed in there, which is odd, given that I really do generally like sweet and savory mixes.  

I still enjoyed my bag, and certainly wouldn't give up even a single chip, but I'd move on to another flavor in the future.  3.5/5.

Flaming Mala.

"Experience the unique flavor of South Korea's Turtle Chips Mala. Made from a special blend of spices, this classic snack will delight your taste buds with its bold flavor. "

Wow.  Wow, wow, wow.

I finally really, truly understand what mala is all about.

But let me back up.  Another savory flavor, and one I expected to bring some heat.  After all, they are named "flaming" mala, AND the bag has a big "OMG!! HOT!" right on it.  I proceeded carefully.  I took a small handful, and was slightly surprised by the fact that they didn't seem particularly spicy.  The flavor was remarkably complex, and hard to nail down exactly, but, spicy or hot weren't really the words that came to mind.  I really liked the fascinating flavor, and of course *adored* the form factor (so light! so crispy! zomg, layers!), but I was thinking, "eh, these aren't very spicy."  I had more and more and more.  Because, that form factor is just so addicting.

And then a few minutes passed.  And I realized my entire mouth, and in particular my tongue, were sorta numb and tingling.  And that tingle lingered.    

Well, huh.  Yeah, ok, *that* is mala.  The ingredients list is pretty long, and somewhat explains the complexity of flavor, as there is just so much going on - "mala chilli seasoning" to start, and "umami powder", onion powder, garlic powder, shrimp powder, soy sauce, black pepper, salt, paprika, yeast extract, red pepper paste, white vinegar, gouda cheese powder, and so much more.  I can safely say that I didn't expect gouda cheese to be in that list!  Nor shrimp powder really, but yeah, so much complex savory tastes in there, and many strong ones at that (e.g. soy sauce, vinegar, red pepper).  The chips do have a sweetness to them too though, with with sugar, sucrose, fructose, and aspartame all in the mix too.  As I said, complex, fascinating, and indeed, tingling.  Mala.

And yes, these were gone far too fast.  4/5.

Sweet Corn.

"The lightly sweet, savory, and creamy corn soup taste."

Although these are called "sweet corn", they really are corn soup flavor, which is a bit more specific of a flavor, and one I'm familiar with due to other Asian snack foods (e.g. YBC Aerial corn potage very similar chips from Japan, or the corn potage flavor of Umaibo, also from Japan).  While I've enjoyed other sweet corn snacks, these were actually my favorites so far, as the flavor wasn't quite as strong in that niche potage department.  But still quite pronounced, most definitely sweet corn.

As always, I adored the form factor.  The Aerial snacks look nearly identical, but Turtle Chips really just get the layers, the airiness, the crunch perfect.  Absolutely nothing to change about the form factor, they are so crispy, so crunchy, yet they melt in your mouth, and break apart in the most addicting way ... swoon.  <3 these things in general.

The corn flavor is one you need to be in the mood for, but when you are, it is enjoyable.  Low 4/5 just because it isn't a flavor I find myself always wanting.

Original Review, February 2023

I got these on a whim from a Korean grocery store in San Francisco (along with the Honey Butter Chips), and I'm glad I did.  They were incredible.  I'd get them again in a heartbeat, and would love to try more flavors, but alas, they only had one.

Choco Churro.

"This snack, composed of four crunchy layers, harmonizes and blends in the flavor of Choco Churros."

Ok, these are wild.  I sorta thought I knew what to expect, but it turns out, I really did not.  

The form factor truly is unlike anything else I've seen, with the signature four layers.  The eating experience of these is fantastic.  Just as they say, it really does give you the sensation of eating several chips in a single bite.  They are perfectly crisp, and certainly addicting just based on the shape.

And then there is the taste.  This is where I was even more thrown off, as I was expecting a strong cinnamon component, per the churro name.  There was cinnamon, but really not much of it.  For me, this was a good thing, as I like cinnamon, but, cinnamon and chocolate aren't a magical combination for me.  The pieces did have a great chocolate flavor, a deep cocoa, and additional sugar coating that made them sorta lightly glazed.  Sweet and chocolately, with just a hint of cinnamon.  

The flavor reminded me of unhealthy children's breakfast cereals, but the form was more of a snack, or even a dessert if you wanted to dunk them in whipped cream, which sounds like a wonderful idea to me.  Ok, honestly, I think I'd really enjoy them for breakfast too, and I think the nutrition stats really aren't any different from sugary chocolately breakfast cereals, but mine never lasted that long.

I really enjoyed these, and will get them again if I ever find them!  4/5.

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