United First Class, ATL-SFO

Another day, another business trip, another one with United, another one with a meh aircraft for a fairly long domestic flight.  Decent crew, boring food and drink. 

Flight Details

Flight: UA1259

Aircraft: Boeing 737-Max 8

Departure: ATL, 6:55pm (scheduled), 6:42pm (pushback, actual) 6:58pm (takeoff, actual)

Arrival: SFO, 9:28pm (scheduled)

Seat: 3E

Standard 737-Max 8 aircraft, and lack of amenities.  I wanted a little pillow and/or blanket.  I wanted lotion, if not in an amenity kit, at least in the bathroom. I wanted headphones that were not just earbuds.  I wanted a seat that was more comfortable.  But alas.  Not on this aircraft.

Standard recliner, 2-2 layout, not particularly useful space around the seat, just space for my bag under the seat in front of me, a little cubby for water bottle beside me, drink tray between the seat with my neighbor. No amenities.  Basically bare bones US domestic business class, not competitive with other airlines I generally fly transcons with.

Food  & Drink

Meal service began in a timely fashion, drink orders taken and meals confirmed/selected by those who didn't pre-order once the FAs could get up.  Warm towels came soon after.   Our meals were delivered within 10 minutes of the drinks. I had my meal within 42 minutes from takeoff, and I was in the third row.  The first row had theirs within 30 minutes!  Very efficient staff.

Nuts.

Mixed nuts were offered along with our beverages.  They were not warm.  Just almonds and cashews. 

Drinks.

On domestic non-premium transcon flights United does not have any particular wines on offer.  Just, "red wine" or "white wine", no options for either.  I went for "red wine" and was never told what it was, but did later see a bottle of chianti in the galley.  I also opted for the blueberry pomegranate flavored sparkling Aha, which I really do like . I was happy to get a full can without even asking.

The red wine was bo-ring, but not offensive.  No acid, no tanin, not too much like grape juice, but just pretty flat flavorwise.  I wouldn't ever pick it again, but I finished my glass (and did not ask for more).  **+.

Menu.

Oh, United.  I've had this menu before.  Chicken, other chicken, or other chicken (yes, 3 chicken), two vegetarian dishes that I've had before and disliked (enchiladas, mezze rigatoni) , and a single beef option that gets meh reviews.  Or salad (with chicken).  I truly didn't want any of them.  

So ... I asked if I could order one of the economy buy-on-board meals, which was accommodated.  I said I would still like the rest of the setup (bread, side salad, dessert).

Tray.

I had to laugh when my tray was delivered.  I kinda thought they'd actually plate the lasagna on one of the glass bowls used for F meals, but perhaps they didn't have any extra?  My lasagna, in a box, came with the rest of the standard setup.  

Bread.

The bread of the day was a dark roll.  It wasn't very fresh, and didn't have any real flavor.  I usually actually don't mind the United rolls (at least some of them) but this one was pretty lackluster.  It was not particularly warm.  Standard pat of butter on the side.  **. 

Salad.

The salad was a bit sad, not much in terms of volume of mixed greens, and they were fairly limp.  It just didn't seem that fresh.  Sun-dried tomatoes rather than fresh tomatoes, which I don't really care for, but likely were better than their lackluster mealy off-season regular tomatoes.  The shards of cheese were nice, although slimy.  I avoided the cucumbers that looked slimy too.  Interestingly, my tray came with the Italian dressing that goes with the entree salad, rather than the little lemon dressing that goes with the standard side salad that everyone else had.

Anyway, not a particularly compelling salad.  **.  

Bistro on Board: Cheese Lasagna. $11.

"Warm cheesy lasagna with cauliflower Bolognese sauce."

So, the economy lasagna.  I had done my research of course and knew what to expect  (besides the box and lackluster presentation).  The internet believes this was the same lasagna American Airlines used to serve in domestic first class.

It was only lukewarm.  I think the FA went to fetch it from economy before she began our meal service, and it had just been sitting up front in the box rather than kept hot in an oven until she got to my row to serve the trays.    

Ingredients ...

Also, uh, beware of the ingredient list.  This was kinda scary long.

Lasagna: Close Up.

It was ok.  The pasta was not too mushy, but certainly wasn't al dente.  It had layers of ricotta cheese, lightly studded with flecks of green, but not particularly much flavor, and it was kinda grainy.  Fairly average red sauce, with some chunky bits that seemed to include carrots.  Not quite as much sauce as I'd want.  A bit of melty cheese on top.  

Like others who had reviewed this, I found myself wondering where the cauliflower was exactly.  It is described as "cheesy lasagna" with "cauliflower bolognese sauce" so I think it was incorporated into that chunky sauce rather than anywhere in the lasagna itself, but, I didn't taste it, and I didn't see any bits of it.  I do actually really love cauliflower, and think it could have been used in a far better way in a lasagna if they wanted (particularly in the layers), but, yeah, this was basically just cheese lasagna.  

Overall, TV dinner quality cheese lasagna, about what you'd expect from a frozen product heated in a microwave.  But, decent enough I guess.  Low *** given the setting and context.

When purchased in economy as part of the Bistro on Board lineup, this is $11, but I was able to just sub for my meal.  I don't think I'd get this again, but, given my menu lineup, I still think it was the best choice available (unless I had just wanted salad, which would make sense maybe for a lunchtime flight).

Dessert.

"Magnolia Bakery - United signature banana pudding."

"Indulge in our new frozen-to-thaw Banana Pudding, a delightful, naturally flavored treat whipped to perfection and made with real bananas." -- Magnolia marketing, from their grocery store version

In December, some exciting news came out.  Well, two bits of related exciting news.  First, a month prior, Magnolia Bakery announced that after years of R&D, they had produced a version of their famous (and truly exceptional) banana pudding that would be sold in grocery stores (frozen).  I love that pudding when purchased fresh from the bakery, and I love pudding in general (hence the label on my blog), but I'll admit I was a bit skeptical about the thaw-to-serve concept, particularly when a key element of the banana pudding is, well, fresh bananas.  So that is piece of news #1.  And then, yes, in December, United announced that they were replacing the onboard dessert (previously sliced pies or their precursors, the pie-in-the-sky from Eli's Cheesecake) with a special version of the Magnolia banana pudding, made just for them.

I'm not sure what exactly is different about the pudding served on board United flights compared to the grocery store version, other than that it comes in a branded cup, and is smaller (the grocery one is 14 ounces, and listed as 2.5 servings).  I did find the size a bit comical, it was more the size of a kid's pudding cup than a proper adult portion.  Frequent fliers are extremely displeased with the fact that they get served a cardboard pudding cup with a paper top they need to remove, rather than actually being plated up in any way.  And that the ingredient list is a bit lengthy, given the long shelf life.  But I was still excited.

Stay tuned for this review, which I'll be adding to my Magnolia Bakery master post soon!

The grocery store lineup features three flavors: banana pudding with wafer cookie bits (as we had), along with a version with red velvet cookie bits, and one with chocolatey hazelnut swirl.  I'll need to try them next to compare.

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Proper Foods

"Proper Food is a fresh take on takeaway – offering delicious, wholesome grab-and-go fare. The made-from-scratch menu of sandwiches, salads, soups and Chef’s specials evolves with the seasons."

Proper Food is a chain targeting a very specific market, trying to offer healthier options in the fast convenience, takeout only space, to office workers.  Their locations are all grab-n-go, and, besides optionally heating up your items behind the counter, it is more of a convenience store model than take out restaurant even.  They are only open on weekdays, with breakfast and lunch options.

"We craft our fare by hand fresh every morning the only way we know how – with whole, seasonal ingredients sliced, chopped and seasoned with care. Nothing phony or factory-made. Just good, proper food that’s packed and ready to go."

But, the food is fairly fresh (packaged up that day), the menu changes seasonally, and the quality is higher than any US based convenience store.  Unsold items are donated to charity every night.

Proper Foods only has locations in San Francisco and New York, but they are expanding rapidly.  In SF alone, we have 9 locations, and I feel like I walk by a new one every few months.  The model seems to be working.

Layout

Spacious Interior.

Some locations are tiny, more like kiosks, but the location I visited was quite large and spacious.  They could have put in seating if they wanted, but, they didn't.  Just a huge open space with coolers along the walls, and a register at front.

The register is where you could order hot coffee (drip only), tea, and pastries only, everything else is grab-n-go.

Breakfast Sandwiches.

Most breakfast sandwiches are in the cooler, but two different croissant ones were also available at the register, presumably as they are the most popular in the morning, and usually people want them warmed up.  The croissants looked pretty good.

Muffins.

The only baked good, besides croissant sandwiches, is a single type of muffin, also available at teh counter.  No, you can't get just a plain croissant, which I found a bit odd.

Beverages, Snacks.

The beverage cooler contains a mix of higher end bottled drinks (Maine Roots, Boylan's, Gus's, etc) and their own housemade drinks (juices, lemonade, lassi, cold brew, ice tea).

In the morning, this section also includes chilled breakfast small snacks, like fruit cups, yogurt parfaits, overnight oats, and hardboiled eggs.

Entrees.

The larger section is entrees, breakfast sandwiches/egg bowls/frittatas at breakfast, sandwiches/burritos/salads at lunch, all packaged in clear packaging for easy viewing and selection, but, there is no menu posted so you do need to examine them to see what is available.

Food

Proper Energy Bar. $3.95. 2018.

"Goji berry, rolled oats, flax seed, coconut peanut butter, dark chocolate, dried cranberries."

This was an interesting bar.  Not a granola bar, not a breakfast bar, not a dessert, not a snack.  I don't know how to classify it really.  I guess, an "Energy Bar" is right, for post-workouts?  It is a firm but soft and mushy texture, and requires refrigeration.  If that helps give any context.  Its a rather high maintenance item.  And if it matters to you, also gluten-free.

There were things I loved about it.  It was very, very peanut butter forward.  So many bars promise peanut butter and don't deliver.  This one was undoubtedly peanut butter, and I loved that.  The oats were a good base, and the somewhat odd texture actually worked for me.  There was very minimal chocolate, just a few chunks here or there, and I of course would love more.

There was a fruitiness to it, from the cranberries and goji berries, that I didn't quite like though.  Peanut butter and fruit is a good thing (obs, pb & j).  But, this was just slightly not right to my taste buds.

Overall though, I think I liked it.  Good textures, particularly with the mix-ins, and nice peanut butter.

I had one for breakfast, and it kinda worked, but was clearly a bit of an odd choice.  I made one into dessert, topping it with whipped cream and crumble, which also kinda worked, but not quite as well.  And then I just had one as a post-workout bar, and that made more sense.   Finally, I had one kinda warmed up, I know these are a refrigerated item, but, I did let it get warm (oops), and I liked it more than way.  Particularly when paired with additional chocolate. ***.

Proper Energy Bar. $3.95. (June 2019).

"Goji berry, rolled oats, flax seed, coconut, peanut butter, dark chocolate, dried cherries, sea salt."

I remembered liking these far more than I expected last time I tried one, more than a year prior, and I was again really pleasantly pleased.  So many things in it aren't things that really appealing to me (flax seeds, oats, dried fruit ...), but, somehow, these bars really are fairly delicious.

Most of the credit certainly goes to the peanut butter, a primary ingredient, no question.  The peanut butter flavor is strong, and I love it.  While I don't normally like dried fruit, the fruity dried cherries and goji berry coating bring out a PB&J aspect to the bar, and, well, that works great too.  Flavor-wise, its basically a PB&J, and that is not a bad thing at all.

Every other ingredient mostly adds texture, and, unlike nearly any other energy bar, this one has a great texture.  Soft, and does need to be kept in fridge or it would "melt" (word choice of cashier), but not mushy.  Crumbly, but not messy. It is pleasing to eat. ***+.

Proper Bran Muffin. $2.50. June 2019.

"Peace, Love, & Bran."

Yes, it really is called a "Proper Bran Muffin", not just a "Bran Muffin".  And yes, the description really did read only "peace, love, & bran", no actual mention of what was in it.

I really wanted a baked good, and the bran muffin was the only option, so, I went for it.  It was freshly baked and looked decent, although certainly didn't really look like a bran muffin ... it looked too blonde on top.  I also asked if it had any mix-ins (e.g. raisin, nuts) as bran muffins often do, and the staff didn't really know, but said they didn't think so (it didn't).

They offer to warm it up, which I accepted.  A nice touch.  It was handed over quasi-warm, certainly above room temperature, but only the very top seemed to have really gotten warm.

I don't have much very positive to say about the muffin though.  It looked far, far better than it was.  Perhaps this is why the staff didn't know anything about it, they don't bother eat it?

The muffin was a crispy top style, not too hard, although a bit dry.

Proper Bran Muffin: Inside.

As you can see, it really wasn't anything like a standard bran muffin inside either ... e.g. darker in color, hearty, grainy.

Inside it was kinda fluffy, not moist exactly, but fluffy, cake-like.  But not sweet like cake.  And not sweetened like most bran muffins, no molasses detected.  The base flavor actually sorta almost tasted like banana, although I didn't see any banana, I do think it might have been used for sweetness?

There were some slightly darker brown swirls, that I think were bran batter.  It had a hint of some kind of grain flavor.

Overall, this was just a shockingly boring muffin. No real flavor, and ... just not what I think of as a bran muffin.  Warming it up more, adding butter and jam, nothing really made it stand out. **.

Nutella Cookie. $1.95. (May 2019)

"Extra Dark Chocolate / Crunchy Hazelnuts"

I'm not really a cookie person, but I heard good things about Proper Food's cookies, they looked decently soft, and I wanted some form of dessert, so I also grabbed a cookie.  Cookies are made fresh daily, and come in 4 varieties: chocolate chip (regular or gluten-free), oatmeal walnut, and Nutella.  I selected the later as it sounded most interesting.

Calling this a "Nutella" cookie is a bit ... odd. I'm pretty sure it didn't have any Nutella in it, and, I imagine "Nutella" is trademarked?  Anyway, it was Nutella inspired at least, a chocolate base with whole toasted hazelnuts inside.

The cookie was decent, pretty intense chocolate flavor, reasonably soft, crispy around the edges but not burnt.  The base didn't seem to have any hazelnut flavor, just, deep chocolate, almost brownie-like in taste, but not in texture as it wasn't fudgey.  The hazelnuts added nice crunch and texture, but didn't give the "Nutella" feel really, since many bites came without a nut.

Overall, a fine cookie, perhaps even above average, but if you were expecting it to taste more like the integration of chocolate and hazelnut, e.g. Nutella, or to have any gooey components, it certainly did not.  I think a touch of sea salt on top would also go a long way in giving the flavor a bit more pop. ***.

Oatmeal Cookie. $1.95. (June 2019)

"Cranberries / Walnuts / Hint of Orange."

I am not sure what struck me when I got this cookie, as I don't like dried fruit bits (although cranberries are a bit better than raisins ... maybe), and I certainly don't like citrus tones in my dessert.  And a healthy looking cookie?  I dunno.  It looked soft, and I guess I was in the mood.

It was a nicely made cookie.  It was soft.  It was loaded with cranberries, and truly did taste of orange.  If you wanted those things, they were certainly there.  I didn't really detect a lot of walnut, but I think there were little bits through, just hard to distinguish from the oats.  The base had a slight sweetness, but most of the sweetness came from the fruit.

Overall, it was fine for what it was, but, um, I needed to add buttercream, and quickly grew weary of all the cranberries.

And finally, the sea salt, the touch that sets it over the top, with a bit of ooph.  One note is that the dark chocolate kinda seems like a lie.  I haven't ever tasted, nor seen it, in my bar.

Now, I do taste some flax, and it does taste healthy overall, and it certainly isn't a dessert in my mind, but, for a healthy snack, or a mini meal post workout, honestly, it is tasty.  ***.

Chocolate Chip Cookie. $2.95.

"House-made, dark chocolate and sea salt."

Proper Food used to make several cookies, including the chocolate nutella one and oatmeal raisin that I had reviewed before, but now they only offer a single kind: chocolate chip.  Classic.

The cookie did look quite good - a large size, not too thin, lots of sea salt on top.  It was a decent cookie - not too crispy, nice chew, slight buttery flavor, lightly sweet.  I wished for far more chocolate though - the few chips were small and barely discoverable in the cookie.

Overall good, not amazing.  I was told they are baked fresh in house daily.

***.

GF Chocolate Chip Cookie. $3.50.

"House-made, dark chocolate & sea salt."

Next I tried the gluten-free version, still only offered in chocolate chip, but it looked entirely different than the regular one.  Considerably thicker, loftier.  It was nicely soft, and didn't taste oddly gluten-free.  Absolutely normal texture.  

The notable aspects of this cookie, besides seeming entirely normal, is the significant amount of sea salt, large crystals all over the base.  The salt really made the flavor pop.  The chocolate was also notable, unlike the regular cookie where I found the chips small and lacking, in here they were large chunks, and well distributed throughout.  

Overall, just a totally decent cookie, and even more noteworthy that it was gluten-free.  I'd get another if in the mood for a soft, large chocolate chip cookie. ***+

Note that the gluten-free cookie is $0.55 more than the regular.

Drinks

Proper Food doesn't make any beverages fresh, but they do have bottled juices and cold brew.

Cold Brew Coffee.  $3.95.

"100% organic, fair-trade cold brewed Weaver's coffee."

The cold brew was Weaver's brand, and it was ... fine?  Not a particularly complex coffee, slightly acidic.  Fine, but not great, and I wouldn't get it again.

 **+.

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Hu Snacks

Thank you, JetBlue.

Thank you for introducing me to Hu, a brand I likely wouldn't have discovered on my own, but now regularly crave and seek out.  Hu makes a variety of chocolate products: milk or dark chocolate bars, baking gems, and chocolate covered things (hunks).  The products are all gluten-free, keto, paleo, etc.  All organic, fair trade when possible.  No refined sugars. Vegan besides the milk chocolates.

Bag of Hu!

I've only had one of their products, the parting gift given on JetBlue Mint flights, but I really adore them, and would gladly try more of their products.  (They usually give you just one bag, but, uh, my flight attendant really hooked me up when I said how much I loved them!).

Dark Chocolate Hunks

"Chocolate covered and ready for snacking."

Hunks are just the brand name for (dark) chocolate covered things.  They are available in only 3 varieties: almonds + sea salt, sour goldenberries, and cashews + vanilla bean.  Pretty simple concept that is done a zillion times over.  Chocolate covered nuts and dried fruit.  Yup, been there, seen that.  Or at least, that is what I thought, until I tried these.

I've only had one kind of Hunks, but I found them exceptional.  Yes, they still *are* just chocolate covered nuts, but they are done very, very well.

Cashews + Vanilla Bean.

"Think of Hunks as the perfect marriage between our signature 70% dark chocolate — the same we use in our Simple Dark Chocolate Bars — and organic nuts."

Yes, the product I'm raving about is just chocolate covered cashews.  And while I like cashews, I certainly don't generally get excited about them, chocolate covered or not.  But these I get excited about.

The ingredients are pretty simple: cashews, cacao, cocoa butter, coconut sugar, salt, vanilla bean.  No palm oil used in the chocolate coating, which makes them less shiny that most other brands. The coconut sugar used to sweeten is unrefined.  Simple.  Just basic chocolate covered nuts.  They shouldn't be special right?

But they are so good!  The chocolate coating is less creamy and shiny compared to traditional chocolate covered items, and the layer isn't particularly thick, which all sounds like it would be a negative, but actually, allows the quality of the dark chocolate and the nut itself to really shine.  The chocolate is deep, dark, and intense, and not too sweet.  The nut is nicely roasted, tastes quite fresh.  The touch of sea salt makes them pop.

These are just really quite good.  Not much more to say than that.  A great snack, a nice little treat to sneak alongside my breakfast, likely great paired with red wine too.  Love them.  ****+.

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Dominique Ansel Workshop

One of my first visits to New York, I visited Domnique Ansel Kitchen on my last day, not to try the oh-so-famous cronut, but rather, the DKA.  I was going through a kouign amann discovery phase at the time, and *needed* to try that famous version.  I enjoyed it, and the rest of the lineup looked great, but it never made it back to the top of my list during subsequent trips to NY.

Then, I spent 5 weeks in New York in the summer of 2023, and even with that longer stay, somehow visiting any of the locations (the bakery, the workshop) just never reached the top of my list.  So when I returned in October, I was determined to give it another shot.  This time, I visited the "Workshop".  It was so great I returned again in August 2024 when I spent another month in NY.

"Our newest shop is a celebration of croissants,  located right inside of our pastry production kitchens here in Flatiron, NYC, just a block up from Madison Square Park. Stop in for a taste of all different types of croissants and breakfast viennoiserie, stroll to the park, and enjoy!"

The Workshop really is that - it is their massive baking facility, with just a tiny little side area for those who want to stop by in person.  The menu is entirely different from the other locations (besides croissants and cookies), and they do NOT carry the cronut.  They offer a few savory items as well, but I focused on sweet.  

I really enjoyed my goodies, and several were particularly mind blowing.  Next time I'm in New York, I *will* return!

Pain au Chocolate. $7.70.

"Double chocolate croissant with three batons of chocolate."

I like chocolate.  I like croissants.  And yet chocolate croissants / pain au chocolate are rarely what I gravitate towards.  But I was drawn in by this as it wasn't a standard offering with chocolate only inside, but rather, chocolate in the dough as well (but it did have three big batons of chocolate within as well).

The pastry was exceptional, as expected.  Ridiculously flaky exterior that shattered in a beautifully messy way.  It did have a bit of chocolate flavor to it, but it wasn't dramatic.  The chocolate batons within were deep and dark, clearly high quality chocolate, definitely where the majority of the chocolate aspect came from.  The bakery likes to point out that they throw in an additional baton instead of the usual 2.

This still wouldn't be my top choice of croissant flavor, but, it was a high quality, textbook execution, of a pain au chocolate with a touch of extra chocolate.  ***+. 

Almond Croissant. $7.25.

"with extra homemade almond frangipane, crunchy toasted almonds, and confectioners sugar."

Oh, wow.  Um.  Wow.  This was truly fabulous.  I don't think I've had a better almond croissant, anywhere.  

Where to start ... it was stuffed full of very flavorful frangipane, that almost tasted like it had a boozy aspect to it, in a good way.  Plenty of it.  A+ filling.

And the pastry itself, top notch, well laminated, crispy, buttery, flaky, yadda yadda.  

And then, what pushed it far above and beyond other very good almond croissants: the topping.  It was absolutely coated in the slivered almonds, that had a deep toasty flavor, phenomenal crunch, and lots of caramelization.  Exceptional.

There is nothing that I'd change about this.  Flawless.  Perfect *****.

Croissants. $5.50 Classic / $6 Olive Oil.

"Classic Croissant made with Beurre d’Isigny French butter and Les Grands Moulins des Paris flour."

"Olive Oil Croissant made with cold-pressed extra virgin olive oil and a hint of rosemary, confit garlic, and coarse sea salt."

I think the larger ones here are the regular classic croissants, and the thinner the olive oil?

I tried a hunk of the olive oil croissant, mostly out of complete curiosity.  It really was interesting!  It was an excellent croissant, but, far more savory.  My brain somewhat tasted focaccia, with the oil/rosemary/salt (I didn't detect the garlic), but ... it was a croissant.  I think this would make a totally incredible breakfast sandwich (which, I realized after I wrote this, they do offer).  ***+.

Brown Sugar DKA. $6.50.

“Dominique’s Kouign Amann”: similar to a caramelized croissant, with tender flaky layers

inside and a caramelized crunchy crust outside. Our best-seller!!"

"Best described as a “caramelized croissant,” our classic DKA (short for “Dominique’s Kouign Amann”) is a Breton pastry that features a crispy, caramelized crust on the outside with a flaky and tender crumb within, and a bit of gooeyness in the center. It's no wonder these flaky golden pastries are our #1 best-seller here at the Bakery! "

And of course, I had to get a DKA.  I had this once before, my first ever visit to any Dominique Ansel location (Dominique Ansel Kitchen), and did find it to be one of the best kouign amann's I'd ever had.

It remains exceptionally well done.  Everything you want in a kouign amann: very crispy caramelized exterior, flaky layers, SOOO much butter and sugar flavor.  And their kinda signature touch of a slightly gooey caramel center.  

Sugar. Butter.  Crispness.  Decadence.  Yup.  ****+.

Chocolate Caramelia Triangle. $7.50.
(2023).

"Filled with silky Valrhona Caramelia (caramelized milk chocolate) pastry cream."

My first selection of more interesting items was inspired by the memory of a couple different cream filled flaky pastries I had during my stay in New York in August: the insanely delicious lobster tail from  Mia's Bakery in Brooklyn, and the chocolate cream version from Veniero's.  I was craving quality flaky pastry and delicious cream filling.

When I picked this up, I was shocked.  First, it was considerably bigger than I was expecting.  Much like most lobster tail pastries, it was a monster compared to the size of a standard danish or croissant.  But even though it was physically large, the weight still surprised me.  This thing was hefty.  Seriously, it weighed a ton.

The pastry was fairly standard laminated dough, like you'd get with any filled croissant.  Reasonably buttery, reasonably flaky, definitely not stale.  Not particularly great, but certainly better than an average bakery.  It had a few lines of a darker color through it, that might have been chocolate, but I didn't taste a difference in that area.  The pastry was a couple layers thick.  ***+.  (Don't mind the slight caramel glaze on top here, that actually came from my second item, that was packaged in the same bag as it).

Chocolate Caramelia Triangle: Inside.

Inside is where it got interesting.  It was absolutely loaded with the pastry cream.  This is where all the weight came from.  Light fluffy chocolate whipped cream this was not.  It was very thick custard style cream, with intense caramelia flavor.  If you are unfamiliar, caramelia is one of Valrhona's signature milk chocolates (36%), that has remarkably strong buttery caramel tones (it does have butter in it, after all).  This tasted like if you melted down a caramello bar (or any other sweet buttery caramel filled bar of your choice) and then made it into rich pastry cream.  Intense, intense, intense.  The pastry helped cut it a bit, but, wow, this was quite rich, and a little went a long way.  ***+.

If you are a caramel and chocolate lover, this is definitely worth a try.  I enjoyed it, but found it too heavy and rich to eat more than 1/3, maybe 1/2 of in one sitting, so I recommend sharing with someone.  I had the second half later with vanilla ice cream, which was a nice pairing, and helped cut the richness a bit.  

Sea Salt Hazelnut Praliné Flan. $7.75.
(2023).

"A French-style flan with hazelnut pastry cream baked in a laminated brioche nest, hazelnut praliné, and Maldon sea salt."

Next up, the incredibly fascinating flan pastry.  Yes, this was a laminated brioche "nest" (basically, a croissant shell), filled with thick rich flan, topped with hazelnut pastry cream, topped with hazelnut praliné (which, was basically like hazelnut butter), and some hazelnut pieces.  If I thought the previous item was rich, this was another notch.  It was also incredible.

The pastry itself was remarkable.  Much like the triangle pastry, it was well laminated, had beautiful layers, was reasonably crisp, but not particularly decadent, no noteworthy flavor.  Better than average, but not amazing.  ***+.

The pastry nest was very well formed, and thicker than the triangle pastry, as was needed to hold the marvelous contents.

Sea Salt Hazelnut Praliné Flan: Cross Section.

And here you can see those contents.

Filling the cup was the flan.  Well set, thick, rich, good flan.  Not too sweet,  This alone would be a good flan.  ****.  Together, the laminated nest and the flan filling sorta gave off the vibes of a Chinese egg custard tart or Portuguese pastel de nata, but, with a French spin.

But then ... the hazelnut praliné.  OMG.  It was one of the tastiest things I've had in a while, and, I say that eating lots of tasty things regularly.  It was sweet.  It was nutty.  It was gritty.  It was salty.  It was like the best cookie butter, but, amplified.  Truly, I think it is ground candied hazelnuts.  They should sell this by the jar.  I'd spread it on anything, including, my finger, direct in the jar.  This was bonkers good.  Perfectly ooey gooey too.  *****.  Flawless.

Add in some hazelnut halves for even more crunch, and more hazelnut flavor, and, well, this was just a truly wonderful treat to eat.  Every component could easily be enjoyed on its own - quality pastry, rich thick flan, insane-o hazelnut praliné.  But put it all together?  And it totally worked.

Glorious.  I'd get another with no hesitation.  ****.

Strawberries & Cream Pistachio Roll. $10.
(2024).

"Fresh strawberry compote, vanilla Chantilly, pistachio ganache, laminated brioche."

Oh, man.  Another one that may look the size of a normal filled croissant in this photo, but I assure you, it was not.  It was really quite large, easily splittable by 2-3 people.  The super-size of the pastries from the Workshop always surprises me, but it does make the now $10 price more reasonable.  

Anyway, what we had here was a laminated brioche, with bi-color layers of strawberry and regular pastry, with an attractive pattern on top, accented by strawberry white chocolate paint.  The ends were dunked in more of the white chocolate and covered in pistachio bits.

The pastry was good, clearly fresh, crispy.  It reminded me of croissant pastry, but a bit crispier, less big pockets of air, and a bit more rich.  You could really taste the butter, in a good way.  I guess, now I know what "laminated brioche" really is.  It was a good vehicle for what was to come.  **** pastry.

Strawberries & Cream Pistachio Roll: Chantilly.

I cut into it to reveal the fillings.  At first I was confused: why did I see only the white vanilla chantilly?  Where was the pistachio ganache? The fresh strawberry compote?  It turned out, the end with the pistachios decorating it was also filled about 1/4 of the way with pistachio ganache, and the strawberry compote was primarily concentrated in the top half as well.  So, don't just cut in half and hand one half off to a friend (unless you slice the other way or want one of you to not get all the great fillings).

The vanilla chantilly was pretty incredible.  I've never had such a light, fluffy cream in my life. It tasted so purely of cream, like, intense cream flavor, but, fluffy.  Remarkable.  ****+ cream.  Like something you'd get in Japan.

My slight complaint is that there really was not much of the strawberry compote, there was some in the folds of the pastry as you can see here, but that was about it.  It was sweet, fruity, light, and really went well with everything else, but I wanted more of it.  

Strawberry & Pistachio Roll: Pistachio Ganache.

And finally, the pistachio ganache, from the end with the pistachio bits on it.  It was thicker than the chantilly, a pretty light green color.  It was very rich, and mildly sweet, in a white chocolate sweet way.  I actually thought it didn't taste all that strongly of pistachio, but it was enjoyable anyway.  ***, because it didn't quite deliver in the pistachio department.  The pistachio bits on the end certainly did, and they also added nice crunch.

I did find the choice of concentrating the ganache on the end less than ideal.  It made those bites really almost too rich.  I liked the ganache, don't get me wrong, but I wanted more of the lighter cream to cut it, particularly given the richness of the laminated brioche.

If I sound critical, that is only because this is at the top echelon of baking perfection.  It was a very, very, very good pastry.  Most bakeries only dream of achieving this level of quality.  The pastry, the fillings, everything was truly textbook, which I mean in a perfection sense, not boring.  Overall, ****, and I'd certainly get it again, and can't wait to try more of their offerings.

Caramelia Feuilletine Clusters. $18.
(2023).

"These deliciously decadent clusters are made crunchy wafer crisps covered in rich Valrhona Caramelia (caramelized milk chocolate). Bet you can’t eat just one!"

And finally, since I was getting delivery one time, and couldn't resist just adding on one more item to take home with me, the caramelia feuilletine clusters, which feature one of my favorite things: feuilletine.  Take feuilletine and cover it in quality milk chocolate, and make it even more snackable by forming clusters?  Um, yes.

These were pretty much exactly the sum of their parts.  Feuilletine, super crispy, formed into clusters, smothered in very rich creamy Caramelia chocolate (the same used in the triangle pastry).  Crunchy, chocolatey, caramely, rich.  Very tasty, but I found that one cluster was enough at at ime.  I liked to pair with coffee, or top with whipped cream, to balance out a bit.

Very enjoyable, but I don't think I'd get another batch.  ***+.

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Balboa Cafe

Balboa Cafe is relatively well known in San Francisco, although I'll admit I was only vaguely aware of it until recently.  

"Since 1913, Balboa Cafe has served as one of San Francisco's oldest restaurant where it all started as a working-man’s saloon. Now it’s a cherished neighborhood establishment where people from all corners of the Bay Area and beyond come for community and our beloved classics, like the Balboa Burger on a baguette, the Wednesday Chicken Paillard special, and the famed Espressotini. Despite our city's evolution, Balboa Cafe remains a timeless destination for those seeking a taste of San Francisco's nostalgia."

It has a firm place in SF history, as its been around since 1913, and has been in operation the entire time, lasting through all sorts of interesting eras of history (Prohibition, the Great Depression, the '89 earthquake, Covid pandemic, etc).  Ownership has changed, interior modified, menu evolved, but, at its roots, the same establishment. 

"The evolution of the espresso martini is steeped in the genius of marrying two favorite pastimes - coffee and cocktails. The popularity of the iconic Balboa Espressotini gained traction early on, and our bartenders were challenged to keep up with the demand. In 2017, we partnered with Shane from Top Hat Provisions, who blended a proprietary, single-origin cold brew coffee that we could mix with our signature blend of spirits in a nitro tank to create an ice-cold espressotini tha’s shaken to frothy perfection."

The recent-ish rise to fame for Balboa Cafe is their Espressotini, which they introduced in 2017, and they now have on tap.  They definitely take credit for introducing SF to this phenomenon.  The current popularity seems to be as a boozy brunch scene on weekends, and nighttime watering hole, with some focus on the food, and the overall hospitality, but the primary focus is definitely the bar program.  As I don't frequent the Marina, nor do I generally go for boozy brunch, it hasn't really been on my radar.

I also assumed that it was rather hype-y, and commercialized ... after all, um, they have a lot of merch for sale, banded canned Espressotinis, and the like.  I was pleased to see that wasn't the case when I visited for weekend brunch one day.  There really was a fair amount of charm to the place, the host was remarkably hospitable, and the place just felt nicely worn in, comfortable, and authentic.  The food?  Well, eh.  But I did have my first espressotini, and that alone was a novel win.

Setting

Balboa Cafe is located right on Fillmore Street in a busy area of the Marina.

Entrance

The entrance is fairly charming, with a slightly shabby look of elegant time's past.

Bar.

The look extends inside to the long bar that is a central point of the restaurant.  So much old wood, mirrors, and just old school vibes.  It feels remarkably comfortable, as it is so clearly comfortable with itself.

Sidewalk Seating.

There are tables inside as well, but the coveted spots, at least for weekend brunch on a sunny day, are the outdoor tables.  They aren't a fancy setup, but by mid-afternoon, this is where the crowds definitely wanted to be, and the entire place was packed.

Drinks

Every patron at Balboa Cafe had an alcoholic drink in front of them, at 1:30pm on Saturday.  Again, clearly, people are here to drink, even during the day. Most everyone had the exact same drink: the espressotini, although there was a stray glass of rose at one end of the bar, and I saw a few beers get poured from the tap.  But mostly, that cocktail list, and certainly the wines (besides rose/sparkling), didn't seem to be something anyone took notice of.  

Drink Menu.

The reason people are at Balboa Cafe is the vibe, and the drinks.  The brunch menu called out a few cocktails in particular (obviously, their signature espressotini, along with the default brunch drinks of mimosa, bellini, or bloody mary, and the cadillac), but a full drink list, including beer, wine, ciders, and many more cocktails was provided.

Balboa Espressotini (decaf). $19.

"Stoli vanilla, kahlua, top hat cold brew espresso."

Clearly, I had to order the espressotini, right?  I mean, if everyone else is doing it, AND it is what they are known for ... 

I'll admit this was my first espressotini.  The reason is pretty simple: I don't drink caffeine after about 10am, I limit even decaf coffee and chocolate until about 2pm, and never have anything with any caffeine later than that.  Although I drink a glass of wine with dinner nearly every night, and enjoy a cocktail when I go out, I rarely day drink.  So ... the espressotini really just doesn't have much place in my lifestyle.  But I see why they are so popular: they jazz you up, AND make you tipsy, AND taste like dessert?  Winner, winner, and danger, danger.

But anyway, yes, espressotinis are fairly popular these days, but why such a BIG THING at Balboa Cafe in particular?  I think because they were a bit ahead of the trend, and introduced them in 2017, and, well, for the younger Marina crowd, this was a very fitting drink for their lifestyles.  And so it took off, making Balboa a destination for folks.  They couldn't keep up with the demand of making so many of them (pulling shots, shaking, etc), so they worked with a coffee producer to make a super concentrated cold brew that they could put on tap to use for the base of the drink, eliminating much of the manual work.  The bartenders churn out a lot of these daily, and do so with incredible throughput. 

I however wanted decaf, knowing that super concentrated coffee at 2pm was not an ok idea for me.  Luckily, Balboa Cafe *does* offer a decaf version, but it definitely isn't the same recipe as the regular.  My bartender needed to actually brew a decaf shot and mix the old fashioned way in a shaker to produce the decaf version.  When it was sat down in front of me, it didn't look nearly as good as the ones everyone else had (I didn't see anyone else get decaf, just me, the lame old person ...). It was all mixed up and foggy, as you can see here.

Balboa Espressotino: once settled.

But then it settled, and looked much like everyone else's.  It really is an attractive drink once it settles, frothy on top, deep and rich below.  

And, sigh, it really is remarkably delicious.  Sweet from the vanilla Stoli and Kahlua.  Super frothy.  Nice bitterness from espresso.  Amps you up, gets you drunk, AND is like a dessert all in one.  I instantly understood why everyone loves these.  Yes, yes, this was totally delicious (but such a bad idea! Did I get old somewhere along the way?).

****.

Side note: You can now even buy a nitro canned version of the espressotini from Balboa Cafe directly to take home, if you must.

House Sparkling Water (complimentary).

I asked for sparkling water, and was originally given tap ice water.  I asked again, and this time was given sparkling water from the soda dispenser in the bar.  It came attractively served, with a lime wedge, but, I hated the taste.  Not filtered, and just not good.  In the future I'd remember to ask for bottled sparkling.

Food

As I mentioned, Balboa Cafe is very popular.  It is very well known.  But it is not because of the food.  That was clear to me from my research before visiting, but extremely clear once I actually had my first bite.  The food was highly mediocre, mostly below average for even a generic boring restaurant.  You do not go there for the food.

Brunch Menu.

The brunch menu has a combination of items from their weekday lunch menu, their dinner menu classics, and some more breakfast appropriate dishes.

I was interested in most of the seafood options (ahi tuna cones, fried calamari, mussels mariniere), but also was a bit skeptical that a place known for the espressotini and not really for the food would do a decent job with seafood.  Most people around me seemed to be getting burgers and fries (if anything, plenty were there just for drinks).  I opted for one starter, one salad, one entree, and of course desserts, intending to take whatever was leftover home.

Buttermilk Fried Calamari. $19.

"Spicy marinara, house tartar sauce."

Well, my meal didn't start off very well.  The calamari was highly, highly mediocre.

On the plus side, it had a good distribution of rings and tentacles, and was served warm.  I appreciated the lemon wedges.  

But, the rings in particular were quite chewy, some pieces tasted fishy, and the coating wasn't particularly flavorful nor crisp.  The "spicy" marinara was not spicy at all and tasted like a jar tomato sauce, the tartar was average, mostly mayo.  It is nice that they offered both sauces, I'm definitely one for the tartar (or really, cocktail), but I know many people like the Italian style marinara sauce with theirs.

**.  I would not get this again, and did not even come close to finishing it (even the leftovers air fried at home to make crispy just weren't tasty as they were far too chewy and just ... not good tasting).

Grilled Veggie Salad. $22.
No goat cheese, "dressing on the side", add shrimp (+$8)

"Grilled asparagus, summer squash & red onion, romaine, raddicchio, carrots, radish, basil, sunflower seeds, cherry tomatoes, goat cheese, herbed champagne vinaigrette."

I moved on to a salad. I asked for no goat cheese, dressing on the side, and added shrimp.  My order was initially taken by a server who was just memorizing it all, but as soon as I made modifications, he pulled out a napkin and wrote it down.  Unfortunately, that napkin didn't seem to serve him, or me, well.

When my salad was placed in front of me, I thought I had gotten someone else's order.  Clearly this wasn't mine, right?  Because ...  I asked for dressing on the side, to start. But also, when this was brought out, I really thought it was another salad, not the grilled veggie salad.  The server assured me it was the grilled veggie salad.  And I guess it was, but, it WAS dressed when I asked for it not to be, and, well, I certainly expected it to have more grilled vegetables.

The base was fine - torn romaine and radicchio, very fresh and crisp.  Matchstick carrots were fine too, and I liked the big slices of radish.  Cherry tomatoes were flavorful and not mealy.  So actually, a pretty decent base.  ***+.

But where were those grilled vegetables?  I had exactly four very small pieces of zucchini that seemed raw, zero red onion that was listed in the description, and a few small shaved pieces of asparagus.  I was looking forward to big juicy asparagus spears, chunks of summer squash, and some lovely grilled onions.  The components that were there were good, but, just not what I was expecting, and really quite minimal for a "grilled veggie" named salad.  ***+.

The real issue was the dressing.  I wanted it on the side as I don't like vinaigrettes, and this was really, really, really dressed in it.  Very tangy, and just not what I like at all.  Booo.  I didn't bother correcting the situation though.  I truly disliked the dressing.

The salad lacked any seasoning, but luckily pepper and salt were on the table, and the pepper in particular really helped.

For $8 I added shrimp, which was a portion of 6.  The shrimp were large, juicy, properly deveined and cleaned.  Great bounce to them, not rubbery.  Better than average / expected.  Definitely worth the $8. ***+.

Overall, if the dressing had been left off as I wanted, I would have liked it, and just been sad it wasn't more grilled veggie forward, but as served, it was a miss for me entirely.  *** besides the dressing, but ** with.  Also, really, a $30 salad?  (add also 4% SF tax, 8.625% state tax, and at least 20% tip, and this becomes a $40.50 salad.  Um, craziness).

Pulled Pork Sandwich.  $22.

"Remoulade, onion ring, fresno chilies, pickled onion slaw, brioche bun."

I tried to order the mussels as my main dish, but I was told I couldn't take home any leftovers because it was shellfish.  I've never been told you can't take shellfish home before, but, that was their policy.  They said the mussels were the only dish that couldn't be taken as leftovers.  Um, ok.

So I went with my third choice, the pulled pork.  The menu did not say that it came with fries, but it did.  The fries were very mediocre, thin, crispy, but not very well seasoned, and not very actually flavorful.  I would have preferred another side choice, and I saw others asked if they wanted fries or salad with their sandwiches, so not sure why I wasn't asked, nor why the menu didn't specify the side (it only lists the fries as coming with the burger). ** fries.  The ketchup tasted odd.

The pulled pork sandwich was decent though.  Glossy brioche bun that was lightly toasted inside.  The top bun was smothered with remoulade which seemed unnecessary with the already sauced pork.  I'm all for mayo sauces, but this seemed a bit overkill.  Under that was a big juicy onion ring.  I liked how hefty it was.  It made me wish onion rings were actually on the menu - if they can make one here, couldn't they make a basket of rings as an appetizer or side?  They have a nice lineup other sides, including fried items, so it doesn't seem like a fryer space problem ... I'd love to order onion rings with remoulade to dip them in! 

The pulled pork was a good portion, and all well shredded.  Well sauced in a fairly sweet sauce, slight bbq notes.  Moist.  Under that was the slaw, a vinegar style, very tart.  Nice for a bit of freshness, but a touch too high on the acid for me.  I never found any fresno chiles.

So overall, a decent enough pulled pork sandwich, ***.  Not something I'd go back for, but, it was decent enough.

Dessert Menu.

After a fairly lackluster meal, I still asked to see the dessert menu, as my sweet tooth always needs satisfying (although, to be honest, the espressotini really did serve as a pretty decent dessert item!).

The options all sounded decent - none that were totally amazing, but all ones I'd be happy to try: an ice cream sundae, chocolate lava cake, sticky toffee pudding, creme brûlée.  Nothing earth shattering, but standard crowd pleasing desserts, and ones I have dedicated labels for on my blog.

I asked my server how the desserts were, and he said they were good.  I asked his favorite, and he told me he doesn't actually like sweets.  Well, ok ... I tried to ask what other people seem to like, and he simply told me that the ice cream sundae was really large and would be too much for me.  He quasi suggested the sticky toffee pudding, but not in a convincing way at all.

Sticky Toffee Pudding.  $15.

"Medjool dates, toffee sauce, vanilla gelato." 

So, I went for the semi-recommended sticky toffee pudding.  I do love a good sticky toffee pudding, and went on an epic quest last time I was in London to try it essentially everywhere (including an average version at Heddon Street Kitchen, an awful version at Hawksmoor Seven Dials, and my favorite, amusingly from the buffet restaurant, Tibits).

This though .... wow, what a letdown.  Where to start.

It was:

1. Cold, not warm. Who serves sticky toffee pudding not warmed up?
2. Hard.  What is sticky toffee pudding without gooey, moist, softness?
3. Dry.  Entirely, um, not sticky?  There was literally no signature sticky toffee sauce at all, only a little drizzle of caramel on top of the gelato.  None on the cake.  Um, what?

The cake was basically just dry, hard, and tasted like dates.  Not sticky toffee pudding, and not enjoyable. *.

The gelato was fine.  The caramel drizzle was fine, but seemed likely not house made, just the kind from a squirt bottle.  *** gelato and sauce.

* star overall, sorry, this was just not sticky toffee pudding.

Vanilla Creme Brûlée. $12.

"Anis biscotti."

I hedged my bets though and also got another favorite of mine: creme brûlée.  As you know, I love all puddings, and have a label on my blog just for creme brûlée, so I was excited for this.

Sigh.  Another letdown.

It *did* pass the tap test.  Lovely caramelization on top.  But the body of the creme brûlée was not well set; it was remarkably runny.  Flavor trended too high in the egginess too.  It basically was like a creme anglaise sauce, just with a caramelized top.

Overall, good top, but meh overall.  I also wanted a few fresh berries or something.  **.

Biscotti: this was fine, crispy, good anise flavor.  ***.

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