Dianne's Fine Desserts

Dianne's Fine Desserts is a bakery you may have experienced, but not realized it before.  Although they've been around since 1976, you probably haven't heard of Dianne's Fine Desserts by name, even if you've enjoyed their products, as they distribute entirely to foodservice and wholesale customers, no consumer retail sales.

"A leading provider of premium frozen thaw-and-serve desserts to the foodservice industry, Dianne’s Fine Desserts® has been serving up inspiring, mouth-watering and memorable desserts for over 40 years. The Company’s product line includes cheesecakes, layer cakes, pies and tarts, brownies/bars, individual minis and specialty desserts; all created at two state-of-the art GFSI-certified manufacturing facilities. Dianne’s Fine Desserts has strong core markets, an established customer base and product lines that anticipate consumer demand and support customer initiatives and goals."

Their product line includes pies, cakes, tortes, cheesecakes, dessert bars, brownies, and minis.  I only tried (at least knowingly) only the minis.

Assorted Cheesecakes.

"A five flavor collection of mini cheesecakes perfectly sized and packaged for any occasion – 7 pieces each of Vanilla, Chocolate, Lemon Crème, Strawberry and Salted Caramel with Candied Hazelnuts."

Our assortment had 5 flavors, 2 caffeinated, 2 fruity, 1 plain.  I tried all but the strawberry.  The vanilla, strawberry, salted caramel, and lemon all used the same basic graham style crust, the chocolate had a chocolate one.  

Vanilla.

I started with the most simple flavor: vanilla.  Note that it is explicitly vanilla, not "classic NY" or plain or anything like that.  That said, I didn't actually taste vanilla.  It just tasted like a lightly sweet basic cheesecake, and not a particularly good one.  It was really, really dense, and not really creamy, so a letdown from the texture standpoint too.

Vanilla cheesecake base? Low 2/5.

Then there is the crumble on top, which seemed to be soft cake crumbs?  An odd thing to have on top.  It was fine I guess?

Vanilla: crust.

And then there is the "crust".  Which, really was more of a base than an actual crust.

First, I have to address the poorly constructed cheesecake aspect of it.  You may have noticed in the first vanilla cheesecake photo you didn't actually see a crust.  Because, on that side of the cheesecake, there was no crust.  Spin it around a bit, and then you get this section here, with 50%+ crust.  This is a single cheesecake, just, rotated.  So they lose points for such poor quality control.

And then they lose every other possible point for the actual execution of the crust.  It crumbled into sand moments after this photo was taken.  It tasted like sawdust.  It was truly awful on all dimensions.  Zero stars.

Lemon Crème.

And from the boring vanilla, we suddenly get very fancy.  This is not just lemon cheesecake, but a lemon *crème*.  I expected/hoped that maybe it would mean this one would be a bit more creamy?

Alas, the crème did not seem to help the texture.  Again, just very very dense.  It did have mild lemon flavor, but again the base cheesecake wasn't particularly good.  Meh.  1/5.

It had the same crumble topping and totally poorly assembled crust as the vanilla, as you can see here, this side has basically no crust.

Lemon Crème: crust.

And yes, spin it around, and you can get plenty of sawdust crust falling out immediately.

Salted Caramel.

The salted caramel had little bits of candied hazelnut on top.  They were a bit soft, but tasty enough.  

This one had a really enjoyable, sweet but not cloying, fairly developed, caramel flavor.  Hands down the most successful of the flavors.  It too was fairly dense and I didn't love the texture, and it didn't really taste like a cheesecake exactly, but, for a thick, dense, sweet bite, it was good enough.

The crust was again horrible, and poorly distributed.  

The best of the four I tried, by a lot.  Very low 3/5, as the crust was still awful, and it wasn't really what I think of as a cheesecake.

Chocolate.

The chocolate one came topped with a Oreo style crumb on top, which also seemed to be what made up the very crumbly base.  This base was slightly better than the others, but only slightly, and it still just crumbled apart immediately.

The base cheesecake was again just soo dense that it made it not enjoyable.  Mild chocolate flavor, mild cheesecake flavor.  I guess my second favorite, but I didn't really want it. 2/5.

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Lenny and Larry’s Complete Cookie

Update Review, 2025

A few years ago, I discovered Lenny & Larry's healthy "Complete Cookies" and was shocked by how much I liked them.  Since I'm always looking for ways to incorporate more protein into my diet, I was happy to discover another product from the brand, particularly as it was a snack food (their only non-cookie/bar product), and I'm an avid snacker.  This time, I went in with high hopes given the success of the cookies.

Fitzels

"What are FITZELS™? Simple. Fitness + Pretzels =  FITZELS™. It’s a snack. It’s a meal. FITZELS™ is a protein pretzel that is the first of its kind (well..at least for us it is)."

Ah, yes, what is a "fitzel"?  Well, clearly, a pretzel for fitness.  Fitzel.  The Fitzels have a whopping 20 grams of protein per serving due to the addition of pea protein to the otherwise standard wheat pretzel base.  These are not gluten-free, but they are vegan.

Fitzels are available in a slew of fun flavors, including a sweet cinnamon bun flavor, a kid-friendly "pizzapalooza", and many more.  They are all a slightly different shape than your standard pretzel twists or rods, opting instead for lattice shapes.  I tried only one, the "boujie mustard"

Fitzels: Boujie Mustard.

"Get fancy with our peppery mustard seasoning that’s deliciously savory. Pinky’s Up!"

I liked these at first.  The pretzels had a nice shine, good snap.  The honey mustard style seasoning was strong and tasty.  But ... then the mouthfeel got strange fast as they kinda disintegrated into sawdust, and there was an aftertaste that I wasn't into.  The pea protein definitely came into play too strongly here.

Good for a single bite, but not something I wanted more of, sadly.  2/5.

The Complete Cookie®

Chocolate Chip.

Hmmm.  I loved this before, but really was unimpressed this time.  

Small chips, and not many of them.  Base tasted too healthy.  Nice and soft though?  2.5/5.

Original Review, 2020

Lenny and Larry make ... healthy cookies.  Basically, nutrition bars, but as cookies.  I assumed, that like most nutrition bars, I'd dislike them, greatly.

And then I tried one.  And I was blown away.

But let's rewind.  Who are Lenny and Larry?  And why are they making these cookies?

"Two gym rats named Benny and Barry get tired of eating the same boring things to get their protein."

Well there you go.  They started their company in 1993 making protein muffins, got involved with Whole Foods and Gold's Gym just a year later, and, well, evolved (including Benny leaving the company in 2001, and coming back in 2007).  In 2013 they reached real success and fame when they introduced the The Complete Cookie®, and things really took off.  You can now find them nationwide, in places like 7 Eleven and Walmart even. 

The product line now focuses on cookies, and in addition to the signature Complete Cookie, also includes a crunchy cookie line, "creme" filled line, and, keto version.  I've only tried the Complete Cookie, but honestly, would love to try more.

The Complete Cookie®

"The cookie just got upgraded, BIG time! With up to 16g of plant-based proteins and 10g of fiber, our dairy-free, no egg, vegan and NGP Verified cookie will not only satisfy your tummy and sweet tooth but also your peace of mind. No excuses needed for this non-cheat treat with incredible taste and none of the things you don’t want! 

With tantalizing flavors like chocolate chip, peanut butter, oatmeal raisin, PB chocolate chip, and more, you're sure to find a cookie you love. Throw away those inedible protein bars you can't stand and try the Complete Cookie instead. Satisfy your protein and fiber needs while enjoying a delicious treat -without the usual stomach ache you get from other protein bars."

Yeah, ok, healthy cookies.  Vegan.  Loaded with protein.  Yeah, right.  I'm never that into cookies to begin with, and certainly had no hope for a vegan one.  I assumed the protein came from all sorts of isolates, but was pleasantly surprised to find that it wasn't.  I was also happy to see they actually use real sugar, and don't try to use dates or something like that to sweeten.  Still.  I had no hope for these.

The flavor lineup does sound great: "chocolate donut", salted caramel, birthday cake, apple pie, white chocolate macadamia, peanut butter chocolate chip, among many others (yup, and even a seasonal pumpkin spice).  But you know what?  Many nutrition bars have great sounding flavors, and leave me very, very disappointed.

Again, zero expectations of goodness.

Chocolate Chip.

"When you hear the word “cookie”, what’s the first flavor to pop up in your head? Since 1936, chocolate chip has become the most iconic cookie flavor in America, thrilling both kids and adults alike.

At Lenny and Larry’s, The Chocolate Chip Complete Cookie has been a crowd-pleaser since the day we set up shop. Satisfyingly firm and chewy, our delectable plant-based protein chocolate chip cookie is lovingly sprinkled with sizeable semi-sweet morsels of chocolate throughout. Keep with tradition by pairing your vegan cookie with a tall glass of ice cold milk."

I honestly don't remember where I picked this up, but I wound up with one in my stash.  I pulled it out, kinda half-hearted.  Meh, a cookie, meh a healthy cookie.  And if I had picked a flavor, chocolate chip wouldn't have been it (I mean, its fine, but so many better options).

The cookie is ... kinda huge.  The package says 2 servings per cookie, which, I kinda understand.  It is large in diameter, it is thick, and it is heavy.  It is a very, very hearty cookie.  And considering the protein load, it probably should be 2 servings, but, I didn't realize that when I tried it.  My cookie had been a bit crushed somewhere along the way, but I still had reasonable size chunks.

I took my first bite.  Well, huh.  It wasn't anything like I was expecting.  The texture was great, soft, slightly crumbly in a good way.  The flavor?  Not a classic cookie flavor for sure, and it had a hint of something interesting going on, but, it certainly wasn't a bad, funky thing.  It was, honestly, just kinda enjoyable.  It tasted a lot like peanut butter to me, and that was only a good thing.

It was sweet in a normal way, again, because they used real sugar.  The chocolate chips were great, and nicely distributed, but I would have loved even more of them.

It really was, simply, good.  And strangely addicting.  I finished the two serving cookie, even though I tried to stop at about 70% done.  It was just too good.  It left me uncomfortably full though, after a regular sized lunch, and, unexpected bonus plethora of protein.

So what was it made of?  Obviously not milk, butter, and eggs.  It still uses wheat flour as the base, hence, the fairly normal texture I think.  No gluten-free sacrifices here.  The protein content, as I mentioned, doesn't come from isolates, nor whey protein that bothers my stomach, but rather pea protein and rice protein. Well, huh.  I think the slightly nutty flavor I detected was pea protein, which I often really do like (Ripple milk is my favorite non-dairy milk, made from pea protein).

I'd gladly get another (and only eat half!), and I'd really like to try other flavors, including the real peanut butter chocolate chip one, which I'm sure tastes more like peanut butter than this one ... 3.5/5.

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Win Son Bakery

Another day, another excellent New York bakery for me to rave about.  Yep.  New Yorkers sacrifice many things (e.g. space, reasonable priced apartments, privacy, etc) but they sure make it up for it in density of incredible bakeries (and ice cream shops, or ok, just, fantastic food in general).  And as a lover of baked goods in particular, this brings me great joy when I visit.

One place, Win Son, hit my radar when they opened a second location in the east village this past year (their original location is over in Brooklyn, in Williamsburg).  It is a Taiwanese-American bakery, open for breakfast, lunch, and dinner daily (they also have an actual full service restaurant, but I'm talking only about their bakery-cafe in this review).  They serve a full lineup of barista made espresso and coffee drinks, but also beer, wine, and cocktails.  In addition to the pastries and baked goods that caught my eye, they are very well known for their scallion pancakes (filled with egg, cheese, and other yummies), and they have sandwiches, small bites, and even fascinating sounding salads.  Taiwanese flair all around.

Even though it was on my radar, and pretty high up on my list given both the rave reviews from the masses in general but also good friends of mine, I didn't actually visit myself - yet.  But rather, I was treated to some goodies that a friend brought to the office and shared with me.  

Spoiler: the treats far surpassed my expectations.  I cannot wait to visit myself sometime.

Twice Baked Almond Red Bean Bolo Bao. $8.

Oh, wow. 

So imagine a twice-baked almond croissant, but rather than croissant, make it like a Asian bolo bao. A red bean bolo bao that is.  But still use laminated dough like a croissant.  Add in some deep caramelization like a kouign amann too.  And that is what you have here.  Basically the love child of a twice baked almond croissant, kouign amann, and red bean bao.  And wow, is it good.  

The outside was super crispy, coated with a thin layer of almond frangipane and tons of slivered almonds, just like a twice-baked almond croissant.  Soo much texture and crunch.  The almonds had just the right level of toastiness.  Very good.

The pastry shattered beautifully, making a mess, in the way a great croissant dose.  The base was lightly caramelized, like a kouign amann, making it that much more decadent.  A quality foundation, and an exceptional pastry just from those elements.  But this had so much more to give.

(And yes, this is just a hunk of the full size, large, item).

Twice Baked Almond Red Bean Bolo Bao: Inside.

Inside, stuffed with the expected almond frangipane, plenty of it, well distributed, but also ... there was lightly sweetened red bean!  It added a softer texture, a different kind of slight sweetness and savoriness, more depth, and real Asian vibes to really transform it from being just a differently shaped French pastry.

Unique, absolutely, but also just downright delicious.  4.5/5.  Win Son also makes these in other flavors like chocolate and chocolate peanut butter.  I'd gladly try any.

Seasonal Nian Gao. $8.
(GF).

I think this was likely my first ever nian gao.  If you are unfamiliar, as I was, it is a dessert usually consumed for Chinese New Year, and isn't usually full of toppings like this.  It is made with glutinous rice flour, water, and sugar, and is usually steamed (although it can be fried, and I think Win Son bakes theirs) and served as a round sweet dessert cake (although there are savory versions that are sliced and stir fried too).  It is usually quite plain, the only mildly interesting (to me) versions have red bean paste inside.  Not an item that has really hit my radar before.  Naturally gluten-free, since they use rice flour.

However Win Son has made it interesting, and offers them throughout the year, with seasonal toppings (and I think sometimes fillings).  In August, it had mixed berries and streusel, definitely far from traditional, and, at first glance, it looked more like a mini berry tart or pie.  In fact, the person who gave me this referred to it as a "berry tart".  It also completely confused him, and he wasn't into it, saying "the bottom of the berry tart was very unusual, chewy like string cheese or uncooked dough".

And indeed, the base *was* unusual - if you aren't familiar with Asian desserts and heavy use of rice flour.  It was familiar to me immediately, very mochi adjacent.  If you've had a mochi muffin, it was like that.  It was soft, bouncy, stretchy, chewy.  I really liked it, but I can totally understand how if you thought you were getting a berry tart, or if you were unfamiliar with mochi, this could easily seem just wrong.  It was good at room temp, but even better warmed up.  The base was lightly sweet, but fairly simple and plain, as nian gao normally is I think.  4/5.  

But this too had much more to give ...

Nian Gao: profile.

The berry topping was exceptional.  It was a mix of berries (at least blackberries and blueberries, and I think maybe cherries?), all cooked down, but not sweetened.  The berries were super tart, and that tartness just made everything about this pop.  Think sour cherry pie, that style.  There was just enough goo to make sure all bites had a lot of berry flavor.  Really shockingly good, and it immediately made me grumpy at the multiple mediocre sour cherry and blueberry pies I had the previous two weeks (from Bubby's and Petee's Pies).  5/5 fruit topping.

And then a streusel like crumble, which honestly wasn't even necessary as everything else was just so good, but it did add nice sweetness and very contrasting texture.  It made it eat much more like a fruit pie/tart as well.  4/5 streusel.

All together a unique and very enjoyable dessert.  I liked it best warm, and think it would be insane with a bit of ice cream on top too.  4.5/5.

In the fall, I saw they did one featuring figs, both in the base and fresh on top, that had a malted cream and candied orange zest component too.  They seem to really just use nian gao as a fun base to play with, and I'm all for that.

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Veniero's Pasticceria & Caffe

Update Review, August 2025 Visit

Veniero's still has a soft spot in my heart, as one of the first bakeries I ever visited in NY, years ago.  However, a few summers ago when I was in NY I found items hit or miss (besides the cheesecake, which really is quite good), and thus, didn't return for a few years.  This past summer though, when I was in NY for July and August, I finally sought it back out.  

Millefoglia - Plain. $6.35.

"Our Millefoglia is a masterpiece of Italian pastry art. The word "millefoglia" means "a thousand layers," and this pastry does not disappoint with its flaky, buttery layers of puff pastry. The pastry is filled with a light and creamy Bavarian cream. Every bite is a heavenly blend of sweet and rich buttery pastry. Whether you're treating yourself or sharing with friends and family, our Millefoglia is sure to be a hit. So, don't wait any longer and order now!"

I was really, really craving millefoglia/mille-feuille/napoleon.  For some reason, every time I'm in NY I crave it, which is just odd, given that I never do when I'm home in San Francisco.  Luckily for me, there are plenty of Italian bakeries, or bakeries with Italian influence, and its exceptionally easy to find (I've been eyeing the napoleons at Martha's Country Bakeshop and Mia's Bakery in particular).  In case you are wondering, millefoglia is the Italian style, which has a variety of different filling types, and usually just powdered sugar on top.  Mille-feuille is the French version, which uses creme patisserie inside, and has the icing/fondant topping.  And napoleon ... is just something that seems to take either form (and sometimes has a thin layer of cake inside too). I think many American bakeries seem to just use "napoleon" to mean any form of layers pastry/cream dessert.  The last napoleon I had was from a Italian bakery in SF, Stella Pastry, which was confusing, as it seemed like a French mille-feuille ....  

Anyway.  Veniero's version of millefoglia is the classic Italian construction: 3 layers pastry, 2 thick layers of cream, powdered sugar on top.  Huge slices.  Interestingly, Veniero's has a napoleon too, which has two layers of puff pastry on the outside, but a layer of sponge (with a rum soak) inside, and vanilla/chocolate icing on top. 

It was ... fine.  The pastry was kinda boring, fairly crispy, but not very flavorful.  It lacked any real buttery decadence, extreme flakiness, or slight caramelization I was hoping for.  Again, fine, but certainly not particularly compelling.  The filling was fairly standard whipped cream style (they say Bavarian, but it didn't seem as rich as I'd expect from a custard base).  Sweetened but not too sweet.  It seemed like fresh enough cream, and held up well, but wasn't particularly interesting.

And that was it.  No more, no less.  Average pastry and cream.  They didn't combine together to be something I felt I needed more of, and I was glad to share a slice rather than keep it all for myself.  Nothing wrong with this, but just ... boring.  3/5.

Millefoglia - Strawberry. $7.15

"Our Strawberry Millefoglia is a masterpiece of Italian pastry art. The word "millefoglia" means "a thousand layers," and this pastry does not disappoint with its flaky, buttery layers of puff pastry. The pastry is filled with a light and creamy Bavarian cream and chopped strawberries. Every bite is a heavenly blend of sweet, fruity flavors and rich, buttery pastry. Whether you're treating yourself or sharing with friends and family, our Strawberry Millefoglia Cake is sure to be a hit. So, don't wait any longer and order now!"

They also make a strawberry version, and I couldn't resist getting both when I ordered (rookie move, I should have either started with this one, or waited until I tried the plain one first).  It had strawberries chopped up within the cream filling, and a large berry perched on top.  Without the powdered sugar on top, it did look a bit less appetizing to me somehow, but it was actually much tastier.

It was otherwise the same as the plain one, but the strawberry definitely was an improvement.  Fruity bursts, more flavor overall.  The strawberry seemed fresh and ripe.  But still not anything remarkable about the cream nor pastry.  Higher 3/5.

Cannoli. $5.25.

"A Veniero's fave. Nothing close to a standard cannoli. Crispy cannoli shell filled with luscious ricotta cream, chocolate chips & citron bits."

A cannoli is never an interesting dessert for me.  I actually generally don't even like them (and yes, I've had them from Mike's Pastry in Boston ...).  But still, a classic Italian dessert, and everyone else seemed to devour these, so I took a chunk when we had them at an event.

And ... yeah, meh.  The shell was a bit soft.  It tasted like cannoli shell, a bit fried, no reason to want this.  The filling was rich and thick, standard ricotta base, not too sweet but definitely sweetened.  It was studded throughout with mini chocolate chips (which were my favorite element really), and the end was coated in bits of pistachio.

This was very classic, and the group loved them, but for me, just a meh.  Low 2.5/5, as the shell didn't taste particularly fresh, and I just don't really like cannoli.

Chocolate Covered Cannoli. $6.35.

"A cannoli shell dipped in fine dark chocolate and filled with vanilla, or chocolate cannoli cream."

But of course I tried the chocolate covered one too.  Chocolate makes everything better right?  This had the same regular filling studded with mini chips (not chocolate cream, which I guess is an option, just not one our hosts took).

The dark chocolate coating was good, but otherwise, yep, this was the same.  The chocolate *did* make it better, but not enough so that I wanted more of this.  Another 2.5/5.

Original Review, 2023 Visits

Veniero's Pasticceria & Caffe is a well known Italian bakery in New York.  It has incredible history, as it was founded in 1894, and has been run by the same family since.  Known for both traditional Italian pastries (cannoli, biscotti, tiramisu, butter cookies, etc), but also for having what some consider the best New York cheesecake in the city (they also make Italian version, if you prefer).  Veniero's has won all sorts of awards, been on a bunch of TV shows, etc.  

I didn't hear about Veniero's through any of those channels though.  I first learned of Veniero's the very first time I ever visited New York, years ago.  A friend told me about this bakery where he got the best cheesecake of his life.  He had a tale about walking the entire length of Manhattan, a trek of many hours, that resulted in landing at Veniero's, and having this life changing cheesecake.  He said it was worth the trek.  And so, my first time to NY, I sought it out too.  I wasn't much of a foodie then, but, I've always had a sweet tooth, and I do remember enjoying it, but nothing more specific than that.

When I returned to New York this summer to spend a month, I knew a return visit to Veniero's was in order.  

Charm, since 1894.

Very little has changed at the bakery since my last visit probably 15 years ago, and from the sounds of things, very little has changed since they first opened.  They are still at the same location, and the bake shop is in the basement, same as it has been for ~130 years.  

Baked Goods.

There is still a looong bakery counter with all the goods on display for takeout, and a full dining room if you prefer to dine there and have table service.  They also deliver on all the major food apps these days.

The line of pastry display cases extends the entire length of the store.  It can take a while to take in the lineup of all the goodies, which range from Italian classics like several kinds of cannoli, tiramisu, eclairs, cream puffs, lobster tails, napoleon, millefoglia, and butter cookies / biscotti of all kinds.

More Baked Goods.

Then there are slices of cakes, individual size cakes, mousses, fruit tarts, and more.  Mini sizes of many items exist too.

Cakes.

Also running the length of the inside are refrigerated cases, housing all the full size layer cakes, which are far too numerous for me to enumerate.

Mousses and Cheesecakes.

And finally, more refrigerated cases, with the mousse cakes and the huge lineup of cheesecakes.

I've only included a few photos of each to give you an idea of the offerings, but, the lineup is vast.  To place your order in person, you must take a number, just like a deli counter at a busy supermarket.

Signature Box.

If you get your goodies to go, they come in a Veniero's signature box, tied up with string.  A cute touch, although I found it a bit cumbersome to break into my goodies ASAP!

Box of Joy.

I narrowed my selection down to just 4 items, which, was agonizing as I wanted so many items, but, I also can only consume so many pastries in a short amount of time, and these are mostly pretty perishable.

My final choices were strategic: one individual sized caffeinated cake, one non-caffeinated cake slice, one caffeinated pastry, and one cheesecake.  The pastry I knew would only keep a few hours, the cakes could be ok for a day or two, and the cheesecake a bit longer.  My plan was to start with the most perishable caffeinated item after lunch (and obviously try a small bite of the other caffeinated one), have the most perishable non-caffeinated item after dinner, the caffeinated cake the next day with lunch, and cheesecake last.

My strategy mostly worked, besides the fact that of course I still wanted to try them all immediately.  The came all separated by paper, and stayed fairly tidy in the box.

Lobster Tail (Chocolate Cream). $6.60.

"A crispy shell filled with either chocolate or vanilla bavarian cream topped with poedered (sic) sugar."

After the truly, truly glorious lobster tail I had from Mia's Bakery in Brooklyn a few weeks prior, I couldn't stop thinking about lobster tail pastries.  I also had been craving chocolate, and when I saw Veniero's did a chocolate filled version of the lobster tail ... well, I knew I had to get it.

The Veniero's version was a very, very mixed bag for me.  The pastry itself was a complete let down.  While it looked relatively crispy, and the description declared it such, it was not.  The layers were great, but, it just wasn't crispy or flaky in any way.  It also was just a (layered) croissant-like pastry, it didn't have the second choux like layer inside.  So, a true lobster tail it wasn't really?  The powdered sugar coating was good.  I suspect that it was not freshly filled to order, and had been stored in a refrigerated area due to the cream filling, and thus, the pastry was soggy.  So, pastry aspect?  **, the flavor was fine, construction was good, but, it was soft.

The filling however was great, and abundant, given how thin the pastry wrapper was.  The description said "chocolate or vanilla bavarian cream", which I parsed as "chocolate bavarian cream or vanilla bavarian cream", so I expected a thick, egg based, bavarian style cream.  It was not.  It was however a very glorious thick chocolate cream, so, perhaps the correct parsing was "chocolate cream or vanilla bavarian cream"?   I truly didn't mind, as I adored the chocolate cream filling.  Lovely milk chocolate flavor, perfectly smooth, nicely thick.  Excellent filling, and honestly, I'd gladly eat just a bowl of it topped with fresh strawberries or raspberries, maybe a scattering of mini chocolate chips/curls/nibs, like a mousse, and be very very happy.  ****.

So, overall, I loved what was inside, but, I ordered a lobster tail and not a chocolate mousse because I wanted the crispy pastry, so, *** overall.  I wouldn't get it again unless I could verify it being freshly filled to order, but would gladly try more items with this filling.

The size was reasonable - one person could finish it, two could share (if they got another item too of course) and still feel like they got a real taste.  About the size of two larger size cream puffs, if that makes sense.  Or, you know, *half* the size of the monster from Mia's.  It was $1 less than Mia's, and the price did feel a touch high.

Windmill Pastry. $6.68.

"Chocolate sponge filled with light chocolate whipped cream, garnished with chocolate shavings."

After loving that chocolate cream so much, I opted to get another item clearly featuring it: the "Windmill" (not sure why it is called that).  

It may look like a cupcake here, but, it is much bigger, an individual round cake, not really a cupcake.  This, like most of the "pastry" items, is also available as a full size cake (6 layers!), and by the slice for $7.45.  I opted for the individual round one, because I thought it would have a higher ratio of chocolate shavings and chocolate whipped cream.  

I was pleased that all around it was covered in the dark chocolate shavings, and also quite pleased that it had extra chocolate cream perched right on top, AND around all the sides, in addition to being layered with it inside.  As I had hoped, it was the same, or at least, very similar to, the chocolate cream filling from inside the lobster tail.  Chocolately, fluffy, fairly tasty.

Windmill Pastry: Inside.

Here you can see the cross section, with the ratios of cream to cake.  Yup, very generous cream layer inside, and on top, and around the sides, and just two fairly thin layers of cake.  If you prefer more balance, I suggest a slice of the layer cake.

Anyway, the cake was the letdown.  Highly mediocre.  A bit too dry for me.  Not particularly strong or deep chocolate flavor.  Very "meh".

So, decent chocolate whipped cream, but, overall, not really a winning cake for me.  I wouldn't get this again.  ***.

Camillia Pastry.  $7.70.

"Camillia pastry is a delicate and delicious French-inspired treat. It is made of Yellow Sponge soaked in Raspberry liqueur, layered with seedless raspberry jam, whipped cream infused with Godiva white chocolate liqueur and topped with marzipan. The Camillia pastry is a perfect addition to any dessert table, and it's perfect for special occasions and events. Each pastry is handmade with the freshest ingredients, ensuring that every bite is a delicious experience. Its unique flavor and texture will sure to please everyone's palate."

The Camillia cake sounded really interesting to me.  Liqueur soaked cake, jam, white chocolate whipped cream, AND marzipan, all in one?  Even if one element was meh, there was so much opportunity here.  It also sounded a lot like princess cake, just with white marzipan instead of the signature green colored you find on princess cake, and the extra flair from the liqueur and white chocolate.

It was even better than I had imagined it would be.  Every layer was glorious.  And together?  Complete bliss.

There were three layers of cake, separated by either a layer of raspberry jam or white chocolate whipped cream.  The cake was incredibly moist due to the liqueur soak, and yet light and fluffy at the same time.  Pretty much perfect sponge cake, boosted by some booze.  **** cake.  

The raspberry jam layer was thin, but it was sweet and fruity, and, given the other sweet components, you didn't want it any thicker.    Very smooth, seedless, which made it integrate very well.  ****.

Then, the thicker layer of white chocolate whipped cream.  This was remarkably good as well - slightly complex sweet from the white chocolate, perfectly creamy, and again, in great balance with the other layers.  This same cream wrapped around the exterior as well, to bind the marzipan.  ****.

And finally, the marzipan.  Much like fondant, this can be a bit polarizing for folks.  But me, I like it.  And this version was no exception, although, it was certainly the sweetest element, and a little went a long way.  It was nicely soft, had a bit of bite to it, and had a lovely light almond flavor.  Very good.  ***+.

Put this all together, and really, it sounds silly, but, a bite really was pure bliss.  A collection of textures, different levels of sweetness, and just, well, joy.  I adored every bite of this.  *****.

New York Cheesecake (w/ Strawberries).  $6.69 + $0.85.

"Gluten free - creamy yet light, made with fresh cream cheese & sour cream. Proclaimed one of NY's best.  Topped With Fresh Strawberries."

"It is the creamiest and yet finest cheesecake that will ever approach your lips. (Proclaimed

New York's best). Indulge in the rich, creamy goodness of New York Style Cheesecake. Made with only the highest quality ingredients. The creamy, tangy flavor of the cheesecake is perfectly balanced with a hint of sweetness, making it the perfect ending to any meal. One bite of this delicious cheesecake and you'll be transported to the bustling streets of New York City. So why wait? Treat yourself to a slice of this classic dessert today!"

And finally, *the* signature item from Veniero's: the New York Cheesecake.  I opted for strawberry topping (+$0.85).  The description said "fresh strawberries", so I was slightly surprised they were glazed/sweetened, but I didn't mind.  The berries were very very sweet, but also, totally delicious.

And the cheesecake?  Yup, well, this is cheesecake perfection.  Sure, it doesn't have a crust, and I'd kinda prefer one, but, the cheesecake was flawless.  Textbook.  So smooth and creamy.  Rich in the right ways.  Light tang from the cream cheese and sour cream, but balanced by sweetness.  Check, check, check.  I have nothing to criticize about this cheesecake.  There is a reason it is so well known.  I'll gladly have it again and again. ****+.

The cheesecake is available in a round mini version as well, but I really wanted the (slightly more expensive) slice.  Of course, also available as full size 6" for $21 ($27.50 with strawberry) or 10" for $40 ($57 with berries).  They also have an Italian version (ricotta based), Sicilian version (ricotta, chocolate chips, glazed cherries), or several flavors of New York style (almond, chocolate marble, Oreo).  I'd like to try the almond NY version perhaps ...

Read More...

Ike's Place

Update Review, Sept 2025, Mission Bay Location

It had been several years since I visited an Ike's location.  I have had such varied experiences in the past (some great, some very meh), and there weren't historically any locations near me, so it was always a trek to seek out Ike's, which, besides loving the dutch crunch bread, I just didn't have enough reason to do.  Ok, I did have a reason, once a year, to go get my free birthday sandwich, except that the past few summers I've been on the east coast enjoying summer for my birthday in August, and thus, no birthday freebie either.

This year I did seek it out, for 3 reasons.  1) they opened a new location that is much closer, and a far more pleasant walk, to my house, 2) I realized that even if I wasn't in SF around my birthday, I could schedule my order for future, after the birthday reward expired, but still redeem it as long as I placed the order before it expired, and 3) I saw they had ... lobster on the menu now?  So I was all in, although while Ike's is reasonably well regarded, I don't really think of it being a place I'd specifically seek out lobster.  If you are curious, you can get the lobster several ways, the basic "Buddy's Fave", which is what I did, or as a Surf & Turf with steak, mushrooms, and provolone added too (for a whopping $23.95).

Mission Bay Location.

My visit was to the newish Mission Bay Location, which seemed about the same size (in my memory) to the Polk Street location.  There were a handful of tables of varying heights, lots of light from floor to ceiling windows, and a central prep area.  It was clean in the dining room, although the bathroom floor was exceptionally sticky, and left my sneakers sticking all over the floor for a while after my visit.  Staff were friendly, and my order was ready on time.

#29: Buddy's Fave. $15.95.
on Dutch Crunch w/ All the Freebies.

"Dirty Lobster Salad, American. [1230 cal]."

This may be the first time ever at Ike's that I didn't modify a sandwich rather dramatically.  I left it exactly as specified on the menu with no omissions or substitutions, opted for dutch crunch for my bread choice (because, um, really, it isn't a question), got all the free veggie toppings (lettuce, tomato, red onion, pickles, banana peppers, jalapenos), and did ask for light dirty sauce (I do love it, but find it can dominate, and I wasn't sure if this would have the regular double dirty (both pieces of bread) AND in the lobster salad mix (is that what "dirty lobster salad" is?)), but really mostly left this alone.

The dutch crunch was excellent as it should be.  Fresh bread, soft, lofty, and great crusting on the top piece.  Lightly toasted.  Slathered with the dirty sauce, which was crazy flavorful and garlicky and awesome.  The American cheese was also adjacent to the bottom bread, and was lightly melted in, and all together honestly that bread + dirty sauce + cheese was just very tasty and satisfying on its own.  I'd be happy to just eat open faced dirty sauce cheesy garlic bread pieces, I didn't even need the rest of the sandwich.  5/5 bread+dirty suace+cheese, really.  IYKYK.

Buddy's Fave: Inside.

But let's talk about those fillings, as I've had mixed success with them in the past.  I'm happy to report that all the standard free add-ins were good this time.  Fresh enough chopped romaine, well sliced red onion, pickles + banana peppers + pickled jalapeno that were all fairly standard but good, and even the tomato slices were fresh and flavorful.  These toppings were all well distributed equally throughout the sandwich, every bite had them included, and the ratios were all good.  Nothing earth shattering here, but, decent quality sandwich components, assembled with care.  Low 4/5 veggies.

And then of course, the dirty lobster salad.  This was the wildcard unknown to me, as I couldn't really find reviews of it online, and I think it may be fairly new.  I wasn't sure if it would be like a New England style lobster roll, with basically just pieces of lobster, Maine style mixed with mayo and cold (or even Connecticut style warm with mayo, but that seemed less likely), or if it would be more like grocery store deli "lobster" salad that is a mix of a tiny bit of lobster and mostly imitation crab mixed with mayo and pretty coarsely chopped up.  It turned out to be the later, and I'm not actually sure if it had real lobster in it, but I think it did have a few tiny pieces?  I also couldn't tell if that odd piece you see in the photo was some stray turkey that got in there, or if it was imitation crab meat that wasn't chopped up properly and had unrolled?  It was all mixed with mayo (and nothing else I could tell, no celery or anything), and honestly wasn't bad, but I do like krab salad, and that is really what this seemed like. 3.5/5 lobster salad, as really it didn't deliver in the lobster department, but I still quite enjoyed it.

I found this more enjoyable to descruct than eat as a complete sandwich, something I did out of necessity at first as I was dealing with an oral injury that has left me not capable of biting into things, particularly massive sandwiches like this.  I liked the lobster salad with all the veggies just as a salad basically, and I liked the toasted bun as dirty sauce cheesy bread pieces that I ate separately so I could cut into manageable hunks for my broken mouth.  Doing it that way allowed the two concepts to shine in their own ways, and not detract - the dutch crunch and dirty sauce and cheese totally overshadowed the "lobster" otherwise.  All in all, I really enjoyed this, even if not really much lobster included. 4/5.

Update Reviews, 2018 & 2019

While I'm not a sandwich girl in general, from time to time, I get a craving.  Which lead me to finally try cult classic Ike's in the past (start with my original review there!).  I still don't go for sandwiches often, but when I do, Ike's has become my place ... even though, well, every visit leaves me questioning why ...

2018

My visit in 2018 was ... not good.  I don't know what was going on that day.

I got in line at 12:10pm.  It took 20 minutes for me to even be able to order, with only 2 people in line in front of me.  It then took another 25 minutes to actually get my sandwich.  Yes, it was 12:56pm when my name was called.  For a *sandwich*.

Sandwich Backup.

The staff were clearly slammed, or, at least they were very backed up.  There was a huge line of sandwiches awaiting final assembly.

Dirty Floor & Counter.

And the place was ... a mess.  No wonder they couldn't work efficiently?  You can see all the outstanding tickets here, but also, the floor was covered in ... bits of food.

It was kinda gross, actually.

What a mess.

There were also boxes half emptied and left all over the space.  How could they all move around and work?  Yeah, they couldn't, effectively.

I guess, seeing this, it doesn't surprise me it took so long to get my order.

Pee Wee (with modifications/additions)
All The Toppings, Whole Wheat, Side of Godfather Sauce. $10+.

"French Dressing, Home Made Poppy Seed Coleslaw, Swiss, Vegan Turkey" ... "Sub Vegan Breaded Chicken for Vegan Turkey, Sub Honey Mustard for French Dressing, Add Veggie Bacon, and include Godfather Sauce on the Side."

My order was a customization of one of the named sandwiches, as they don't have an option to build your own.  But really, I wanted to create my own sandwich.  There were things I knew I wanted: for protein, the vegan breaded chicken was good before, and I was curious about the veggie bacon.  I wanted cheese, and Swiss and smoked gouda both sounded good.  I wanted the house made slaw again.  I wanted all the standard free veggie toppings, including lots of pickles this time.  I wanted sauces, perhaps the Frank's buffalo sauce, as I do adore that.  Or maybe ranch, wasabi mayo, red pesto, or the Godfather Sauce that I still hadn't tried.  I was tempted by the thought of adding onion rings or poppers.  But there was no particular sandwich that sounded more or less like what I was looking for.  I also was going back and forth between the idea of a Frank's buffalo based creation, or going really classic and bringing myself back to my college days, where I used to always get chicken finger wraps with honey mustard.  It was the later that I settled on.  Of course, there was no honey mustard chicken finger sandwich on the menu.  And I still wanted the slaw.

So, I made a very modified custom sandwich out of the Pee Wee.  I intended to get Dutch Crunch (because, um, its the best), but, they were out (!!!!).  My options were Sourdough (no way), whole wheat, or french.  As I was saying "French", I changed my mind, and opted for whole wheat.  I didn't want either, might as well pick the perhaps healthier option?

I kept 2 of the 4 ingredients, and only added one additional, that's not ... *totally* custom, uh, right?  I could have also picked the Love Triangle, and removed 3 things and added 2, or the Handsome Owl (minus 2, plus 2), but this was the one that felt easiest, replacing protein for protein, and sauce for sauce, and, well, the base price was also the lowest, at only $10.  The like substitutions did not cost extra, but adding the additional protein (veggie bacon), did.

I opted for all the standard toppings (lettuce, tomato, Dirty Sauce), plus all the other free toppings (red onion, jalapeno, banana peppers, and extra pickles), and since I really wanted to try the Godfather sauce, but wasn't sure how it would go with the sandwich, I asked for a side of that.

Godfather Sauce is a horseradish dijon mayo, basically, um, all the things.  I was provided a side container of it, and certainly did not need it with my sandwich (more on that soon), but did try it, and use it, later.  It was, well, creamy since mayo based, it had a bit of kick from the horseradish, and then had some dijon kick as well.  The dijon was a bit too strong for me, I would have preferred it mellowed out a bit, or perhaps that this just be a horseradish mayo, but, it was an interesting sauce, and I'm glad I tried it.  Probably best with something like roast beef?

My sandwich ... well, it took forever as I noted already, but also, it was a rather soggy disaster.  I ate it immediately, in the shop, so this wasn't a case where it suffered in transit.  It also wasn't entirely my correct order, but, I didn't bother try to get it replaced.

So, so, so soggy!

The biggest problem was ... it was just a soggy mess, just absolutely laden in mayo sauces.  I adore mayo, I love aioli, believe me, I really do, but this was just out of control.  Both layers of paper were soaked through even when I opened it literally 20 seconds after being handed over.

The poor construction really truly ruined this sandwich, sadly.  And this is why I didn't need the Godfather Sauce actually with my sandwich, there is just no way I could have had more sauce!

Modified (Soggy) Pee Wee.

So, what did I have?

Ridiculously soggy whole wheat bread, to start.  The bottom bun wasn't even still bread.  Seriously.  It was just mush.  It wasn't toasty and warm in any way, I think toasted long before it was assembled given the backup of sandwiches.  The whole wheat was forgettable.  I discarded most of my bread, eating this more as a salad.  Good thing they had forks available.

The vegan breaded chicken (Gardein Chicken Tenders, if you are curious), were ok.  Like the bread, not hot, and certainly not crispy given the pool of sauce they were swimming in.  Really a shame, as I know they do heat them, and I know they can be pretty crispy.  I do still think they are a decent product, mimicking that style of breaded chicken tender well, and, the serving was quite generous, each half my sandwich had multiple full large chicken fingers on it.  I'd get these again.

The veggie bacon was less successful, but I think that is just what the product is.  I believe it was Morningstar Farms brand (not vegan, if you care).  Not crispy, didn't really taste like bacon, not hot.  But again, a generous amount, big full slices, and it was nice to have something with different texture, even if it didn't really have any interesting taste (I was hoping for crunch and smokiness, neither of which I got from these strips).

The swiss cheese was fine, nicely melted, but of course, it was long since freshly melted, and was all congealed.  Even though I ate it immediately.  Again, I think the sandwiches were all just all backed up at each assembly station, so it was toasted long before anyone got to finishing it and handing it over.

The slaw was about what I remembered, nice to have cabbage and crunch, and it came in its own mayo base.   I liked the slaw, and would get it again, although, I think this inspires me to ask for all the sauces on the side, as it isn't clear that you need any sauce if you get this slaw.

All Ike's sandwiches are served with lettuce, tomato, and Dirty Sauce, but, mine was missing the lettuce.  Is that because they assumed I didn't want it because I had slaw?  Last time, they overloaded me with lettuce even when I had slaw, so, not sure.  I did actually want it this time, and maybe it would have helped absorb some of the sauces!  The tomato slices were again entirely lackluster, just not great tomato, although the slices seemed fresh enough, and were nicely laid on the sandwich.  The signature Dirty Sauce was ... well, everywhere?  I know they layer it on both sides of the bread, and toast it on, but it was really just everywhere.  I have no idea how, but it just took over everything.  There was soooo much of it.  Perhaps I'm confusing some of the mayo based dressing from the slaw, which was in the middle, for the Dirty Sauce, but, wowzer.  So much mayo based sauce.  I like it and everything, but, yeah.  Soggy and overwhelming.

I also added all the other free toppings, and kinda regretted it.  The red onion was fine, as were the banana peppers, but neither were necessary.  The jalapenos though I ended up really not liking, they were the pickled kind, still very spicy, but, not a taste I like, and there were lots sliced up and distributed throughout.  I asked for extra pickles since I loved them so much last time, but I'm honestly not sure why I liked them so much before.  They were just ... pickles?  Fine, but nothing special, and I didn't need that many.

So that was that.  Soggy.  Cold.  Way too much sauce.  Oops on ordering the jalapenos and pickles, cuz they took over.  Missing lettuce.  Oh, and what about that honey mustard, the inspiration for the creation in the first place?  I think it was missing too.  Maybe they just added more Dirty Sauce in its place, lol.  I really didn't taste anything else, nor see anything that looked like honey mustard, so, I really do think that was lost (unless their honey mustard is also a mayo based sauce?).

I still would want to try something like this again, but, my order would be ... no jalapeno, no tomato (I give up on their tomatoes, otherwise, yes, I'd want these), probably no banana peppers or red onion, and both Dirty Sauce and honey mustard on the side.  Oh, and Dutch Crunch of course.  But the honey mustard chicken finger with slaw concept I do want to keep working on.  And maybe I'd go for good old American cheese ....

August 2019

A year later, I still went back to Ike's.  Why?  Well, I had a serious craving for a sandwich I used to get in college at our on campus diner.  I had visions of kinda re-creating that.  Sorta.

So I returned, same Polk St location, 6:15pm on a Tuesday.

There were only 4 other patrons in the store, two groups of two, waiting for their sandwiches.  Ordering was easy, even though I was making an entirely custom thing "people do it all the time, its totally normal!", I was assured.

Ike's redeemed itself!

It did take a while to get my sandwich, longer than I expected, and it was confusing how it could really take that long ... at one point, I saw all 4 staff members working on a single sandwich, trying to assemble it.  I know they were handling a decent number of online orders, but still, it certainly wasn't speedy.

But ... I didn't mind, in the end.  I was thrilled with my sandwich.  I'd happily get exactly the same thing again, no question.

Ike's sandwiches are very large, and I found a half was more than enough for my appetite at the time.  I ate the other half a day later, which seems crazy for an assembled sandwich, but it was still glorious - I just put it open faced into the toaster to crisp it all back up, and honestly, essentially as good as new!

Custom Sandwich.

When my name was finally called, I was asked "wanna sucker?",which made me giggle a little, and yes, I accepted the caramel apple sucker.  I know Ike's is a big chain now, but I'm glad they have kept some little touches like this.

You can see I also learned from my past notes, and got my sauce (well, one of them) on the side.  This was no problem.

For my creation, I basically knew what I wanted ... but I wasn't sure how to order it.  That said, I know Ike's will make you anything you want, if they have the ingredients, so I just asked the person taking my order if it was easier for me to try to tell her a modified sandwich, or to just tell her what I wanted - as in, do I just say "I want X, Y, and Z" or do I say "I want a {Sandwich Name} but with X instead of Y, add Z, etc."  She just said, "it depends, let's figure it out.  What do you want?"  I was really thrilled with how easy she made the experience, when I thought I was going to be super annoying.

What I wanted?  Vegan breaded chicken, melted American cheese, honey mustard (but on the side), dirty sauce, lettuce, extra pickles, and, um onion rings.  This is not on the menu ... at all.  But it is what I wanted!

Her solution was to order the Danny Glover, but, um, *very* modified, as I literally only kept one component of it.  She said it would price the cheapest this way, and I believed her.

So I started with the base Danny Glover: vegan chicken, BBQ sauce, and cheddar cheese ... where the only part of it I wanted was the vegan breaded chicken (my goto).  I swapped out the cheese (American instead of cheddar), I swapped out the sauce (honey mustard instead of bbq, and had it on the side), I added beer battered fried onion rings ... and then included the standard offering of dirty sauce, lettuce but not tomatoes (they are never very good), and added optional pickles (extra, in fact).

I felt like a huge pain in the ass, but she really didn't treat me that way at all.

Modified Danny Glover: Vegan Chicken, Onion Rings, American Cheese,
Lettuce, Extra Pickles, Dirty Sauce on Dutch Crunch. ($11.11 + $3).

My sandwich arrived piping hot.  I literally saw steam come rolling out as I opened it up.  This was a great sign.

As always, I liked the vegan breaded chicken (Gardein brand, I think).  I probably wouldn't really like these as a full serving of standalone chicken nuggets, but, in the sandwich, I like them quite a bit.  The texture works, and they aren't too odd in a fake meat way.  When I extracted one and slathered it in honey mustard, it was delightful.

I could have picked fancy cheeses like gouda or havarti or even just something more exiting like swiss, but I went for American, because that is what I was trying to re-create from my college days.   It was perfectly melted, and went great with the breaded chicken and honey mustard, just as I envisioned.

The lettuce I almost left off, since the past few times it has been excessive and actually decreased my happiness with the sandwich, but again, in interests of my memory sandwich, I kept it.  It actually was a totally normal amount, generic shredded iceberg, which, well, worked with my chicken finger and american cheese concept.  Simple, no frills.  I was glad I had it for some freshness.

I asked for extra pickles, but actually ended up disliking them entirely, which happened last time.  I'm not sure what it is about these pickles, but, I guess they just aren't for me.  Note to self: no pickles next time.  I didn't bother with the tomatoes as they have been so bad the past few times.

Dutch Crunch!

For my bread, I picked dutch crunch, the king of sandwich breads that I am glad I have discovered since moving to the Bay Area (did you know it doesn't really exist other places?).  And unlike last time, it was not sold out.

It was nicely toasted, crispy on the outside, super soft inside, and even more crispy due to the dutch crunch sugar/rice flour coating.  Love that bread.

It came with the dirty sauce slathered on both sides, baked on.  I almost asked for the dirty sauce on the side, like the honey mustard, but I remembered that they bake it on, and that is the magic touch.

And magic it is.  Seriously.  Herby, garlic-y, and when it bakes into the bread it just makes for ultimate deliciousness.

I somewhat deconstructed half my half sandwich, and choose to just eat the chicken and onion rings as finger food dipped into honey mustard, and the bread just with the amazing dirty sauce and some american cheese baked on, and I truly even loved just the bread and sauce.  No sandwich even required.  And I am *not* a bread girl.  It was like creamy garlic bread, if that makes sense.  All the flavor and herbs of garlic bread, but creamy from the mayo components.  A++ and being well toasted, hot and fresh, made a huge difference.

Onion Rings.

Oh, and those ridiculous onion rings I added for no reason at all (do you really need a reason to add onion rings? I mean, come on, they are onion rings!).

They were good.  Not the crispiest, so when I extracted them to eat just as onion rings dunked in honey mustard that wasn't the best, but they were great inside the sandwich, added pleasant onion flavor, and a bit more texture from the breading.  And I love the onion rings and honey mustard combo.

I'd get these again, but they aren't 100% necessary.

Honey Mustard.

The honey mustard was GLORIOUS.

A creamy, clearly mayo based version of honey mustard.  Not too tangy, just enough.  Perfect flavor combo with the onion rings and the chicken.  I loved dunking them, and my sandwich bites, into it.

I'm glad I had it on the side though, as it allowed me to use as much or little as I wanted on specific bites.  I'll certainly do that again.

Original Review, 2017

Ike's is a small-ish chain of sandwich shops, that started in San Francisco (yes, by Ike), in 2007.  To say it has been successful is an understatement.  In only 10 years, they have expanded to 36 locations throughout the state (and I think Arizona?).

The original SF location was on 16th Street, but it had to shut down after 5 years when the lease expired, and a renewal was not offered (which created LOTS of angry San Franciscans).  Ike's moved to a temporary home in the Castro, literally, inside a bakery, and then got into trouble because it is a chain now, and that was breaking some kind of rules.  Finally, they have a new place on Polk Street, which is where I visited.

Now, you might realize that I've probably never (?) reviewed a sandwich before.  I don't generally really like sandwiches.  But ... Ike's has such acclaim, and such an interesting menu, that I finally had to try it.

Oh, and they have a birthday club, where you get a free sandwich on your birthday.  You know I can't resist a birthday freebie.

Setting

Entire Shop.

The shop is fairly narrow, with not much seating.

You order at a register at the entrance, sandwiches are prepped in the small kitchen in the middle, there is a soda fountain on the side, and several high top tables for two.  There is one single lower table with 3 chairs.  I imagine when it gets busy, finding a seat is hard, or I suspect most people take their sandwiches to go, although, the neighborhood isn't really one where you want to just go eat outside.

There is no bathroom.  But they do have a hand sanitizer pump to clean your hands somewhat.

Menu.

The menu is ... daunting to say the least.  More than 50 sandwiches (even when they first opened, they had 46!).  And, they mostly all sound amazing.

Sandwiches are named after celebrities, places, and concepts, so you have to read all the details to know what is in your sandwich.  No option to order just "a turkey sandwich", although I'm sure you could do that.  The closest you can get to a normal named sandwich is the Paul Reubens, which is a play on a reuben with pastrami, purple slaw, french dressing, and swiss (yeah, I said closest, if you were expecting corned beef not pastrami, sauerkraut instead of slaw, and Russian instead of French, you'd be sad).  Many involve fried items, including onion rings, jalapeño poppers, mozzarella sticks, and even mac and cheese.  All have some kind of sauces.  These are not light sandwiches.

Each location also has location specific specials, and each day also has two specials (on a separate menu).  And of course, you can modify your sandwich in a slew of ways.

Meat options include halal chicken or fried chicken, deli sliced turkey, roast beef, pastrami, ham, and salami, bacon, meatballs, and thin sliced rib-eye.  However, vegetarians, and vegans, have nearly as many options to pick from, and they aren't just hummus and sprouts.  The fried chicken is replaced with vegan breaded chicken.  There is vegan steak, turkey, and even bacon and meatball equivalents.  You can also opt for breaded fried eggplant, or yes, hummus, if you don't go for the fake proteins.  There is vegan cheese and vegan aioli offered.  Sandwiches that aren't vegan by design, but can be made vegan, have a marking on the menu.

Dutch crunch is the standard bread offering ("World Famous", they say, and about 70% of people opt for it), but you can also select from french, sourdough, whole wheat, or gluten free bread.  All the breads are huge grinder rolls, not sliced bread, and only in one, very large, size.

All sandwiches come with lettuce, tomato, and Dirty Sauce by default.  The "Dirty Sauce" is Ike's secret ingredient, a garlic aioli (normally mayo based, but they also make an egg-free vegan version), that they toast right into the bread, on both sides, under your cheese and meat choices.  And then they add another layer after toasting.  Um, yeah, these aren't light sandwiches.

You can also add red onion, pickles, banana peppers, and jalapeños for free.

On top of that, there are lots of other add-ons, like spinach or cucumbers (for $1), avocado or bacon ($2.50), cheese ($1.50), mushrooms ($2), any of the sauces ($1-2, depending on the sauce), double meat ($2), halal chicken (instead of fried, $1), or, for the really crazy, beer battered onion rings or beer battered zucchini ($3), stuffed jalapeño poppers or mozzarella sticks ($3.50).

I was fatigued just reading the menu.  But when I realized that I'd be happy with any of at least 10 different choices, that actually made it easier.  It seemed hard to go wrong.  Interestingly, everything I wanted was vegetarian.  I think mostly because I was excited by the fake chicken and turkey, since I don't like the real stuff.

In the end, I narrowed down to a handful: 1) The "Danny Glover" with BBQ Sauce, Cheddar, and Vegan Breaded Chicken, 2) The "Handsome Owl" with Swiss, Teriyaki, Vegan Breaded Chicken, and Wasabi Mayo, 3) The "Chased & Confused (SF Exclusive)" with Bacon, Flaming Hot Cheetos, Ranch, Red Pesto, Stuffed Jalapeño Poppers, 4) The "Pee Wee" with French Dressing, Home Made Poppy Seed Coleslaw, Swiss, Vegan Turkey, or either of the weekend specials, "The Love Shaq" or "The Turner", both featuring, uh, mac and cheese (the former with american/bacon/dirty sauce, the later with bbq/honey mustard/honey).

I ruled out the mac and cheese options, and the Chased & Confused (although, really, Flaming Hot Cheetos and stuffed jalapeño poppers inside a sandwich did seem ... tempting).  And from there, I kinda made my own sandwich, using the Danny Glover as the base because I really wanted bbq and the vegan breaded chicken, subbing in a few things from the Handsome Owl, and adding in something from Pee Wee.  When you can't decide, just, make it your own?

Assembly Area.

Sandwiches are all made to order, and, they take time.  At least 10 minutes.  Because, well, there is a lot going on in each.

Each sandwich runs through the toaster, open faced, to crunch up the bread, bake in the Dirty Sauce, melt the cheese, and warm the meat.  Then there are many toppings and sauces to add.  When your order is ready, "Order Up!" is called, and you walk up to get it.  I was a bit surprised by the lack of system, no number given, no name, and everyone sorta just had to figure out when it was their turn.  Maybe they get more formal about the process when busier?

Food

Besides sandwiches, Ike's offers bagged chips (Zapp's chips, with all their innovative flavors I've reviewed before) and a couple bars/cookies.  That's it.  No other sides, not even the slaw they make for the sandwiches, nor the onion rings, poppers, or mozzarella sticks as an appetizer.  They are all about the sandwiches.

Wrapped Up ... with Lollipops!

When my order was ready, I was asked if I wanted caramel apple or blue razz lollipops.  I had no idea it came with lollipops, but, that was awesome.

It came wrapped up in two layers of paper wrap, one which actually held the sandwich and was sliced in half, and a full size extra wrapper, even though I indicated that I'd be eating there.  There isn't really a dine-in option for how it is served (e.g. no plate, no basket, etc), but if you eat there, they don't give you a paper bag to put it in.

I was surprised by how massive it was.  Length-wise, I think it was probably 10", but it was the girth that was dramatic.  Like a San Francisco super burrito, this thing isn't really meant to be eaten by one normal human.  Particularly one that plans to go out to dessert on the way home.  You can easily split one with someone, particularly if you have a bag of chips alongside, and go out for dessert after.  Or, if you don't need all that junk food in your life, a half is still a pretty serious undertaking.  I saw many people leaving with their extra half wrapped up in the paper wrapper, which, makes that seem a lot more convenient even for dine-in customers, now that I think about it.

Danny Glover on Dutch Crunch (Modified). $11.11 + $1.50.

"BBQ Sauce, Cheddar, Vegan Breaded Chicken" - Cheddar + Swiss + Tomato/Red Onion/Pickles/Dirty Sauce.

It came sliced in half, which was necessary to pick it up.  Just a half really was a full sandwich.  Check out the girth!

My order was the Danny Glover, but I made a few substitutions.  I ordered this because I wanted BBQ sauce, but, I like swiss more than cheddar, so, subbed out my cheese.  I accepted the standard tomatoes and dirty sauce, added the optional free pickles and red onions, and asked to have their well known purple slaw in place of the standard lettuce ($1.50 extra, which I was informed of at the time).  The bread choice was obviously dutch crunch, toasted.

I was surprised to open up my sandwich and find ... lettuce, the item I had subbed out for the slaw.  I had the slaw too, but, I also had lettuce, tons of it.  Very generic shredded iceberg, not particularly fresh.  My fellow dining companion noted that it took away from his sandwich experience having that much lettuce.  I removed most of it from my half.  Also generic?  The tomatoes.  Not particularly ripe, not particularly good.  I removed those too.  I think the red onion might have been left out, I never found it.

What I did find was BBQ sauce.  Tons of BBQ sauce.  It was seeping out one whole side.  It overwhelmed all other flavors.  And it wasn't possible to really remove it.  I like BBQ, which is why I ordered it, but, I actually didn't end up liking the flavor of it, even if it wasn't saturated in it, it was too sweet for my taste.

But now for the good parts.

The vegan breaded chicken was actually good.  A nice texture.  The breading was a bit soggy amongst all the other sandwich elements, but, besides that, I liked it.  Far more than regular chicken.  I'd gladly get it again.  There was a lot of it, full size thick "chicken" strips, well distributed throughout.  Most bites had a full bite of the chicken.

The swiss was nicely melted on, and again, covered the whole thing.  I loved the pickles.  Just classic dill chips, but, I really liked the crunch and flavor they added.  The slaw added a bit more crunch too, more than the lettuce, and I'm glad I added it (and, wished I had it instead, as I asked).  It was creamy slaw though, so that, plus the dirty sauce, was a fair amount of mayo-y sauces.  I did love the dirty sauce though, and, who am I kidding, I'm a mayo girl.

The dutch crunch was pretty standard dutch crunch, crunchy on top, fresh enough, nicely toasted.

Overall, this was a mixed bag.  The poor assembly that over BBQ'ed it definitely ruined it though.  I could just remove the lettuce and tomato, but, the BBQ overruled everything else.  That said, the other components were good, so I'd gladly give Ike's another chance, with another person assembling my sandwich.  I just wouldn't get BBQ, lettuce, or tomato.

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