Perry's, SF

Perry's is one of those places that I've never really cared about, but, seems to be a bit of a SF institution, as it has been around since 1969, and has multiple locations.

"Perry’s is known for classic American comfort food, with something for everyone. Our signature dishes include the Cobb Salad, French Onion Soup, Petrale Sole, and of course the Perry's Hamburger."

The menu at Perry's, while perhaps "something for everyone" is mostly ... boring?  Fairly generic "American" food.  I've attended multiple events hosted there, and always found the food to be, well, generic, boring, and lower end of mediocre.  But I finally decided to give Perry's a real try, not as part of a catered event, to see if there was a reason it has stuck around so long.  I ordered takeout, which took a bit longer than I expected to be ready.

Setting

Perry's has two locations in San Francisco, plus several others across the bay, but the one I have always visited is on the Embarcadero, near my office.  It is located in a hotel.  The original is the other SF location, on Union Street.

The Embarcadero location is an odd mix of two crowds - random tourists, who are either staying at the hotel attached to it or who wander in given the location and Bay Bridge views, and neighborhood folks, who treat it like their corner bar.  Unlike most other places in the neighborhood, no one is dressed up, no one is on a date, no one is really ... trying?  This includes both patrons and staff.  It actually does make it feel like a kinda neighborhood place, a transplant in time.

Always Reserved Tables.

The entrance is actually through the hotel lobby, off to the side.

Right near the host stand are a pair of tables, that are literally always reserved, and never have anyone at them.  But they are always set as if they will be occupied, sometime.  In my head, there is some story here about them reserved for the ghosts of regulars past, but, really, maybe my timing is just that off?

Bar Seating.

Most guests who sit indoors do so at the bar.  The Perry's non-tourist culture is definitely after-work bar crowd, and the TVs are always on.  The tourists sit outside on the patio, taking in the bay bridge views, and pretending not to freeze.

Savory

The Perry's menu is very "American".  Burgers.  Wings.  Grilled chicken.  Potato skins.  Fried chicken.  Spaghetti & meatballs.  Soup and salads.  Like I said, generic American.

The sides menu at Perry's is actually what I was most interested in.  All comfort foods.  Mac & cheese.  Cornbread.  Creamed spinach.  Fries (regular and sweet).  Mashed potatoes.  House made chips.  Etc, etc.  I didn't want to order items that requires some kitchen skill or quality ingredients to be good, both of which I suspected would be lacking here, the sides are what I opted for.  I was happy enough with my items actually, and maybe, just maybe, would consider returing.

Side: Mashed Potatoes. $5.50.

First up, mashed potatoes.

Yup, mashed potatoes from what I already knew to be a mediocre restaurant ... not something I'd normally decide to order, particularly as that is generally a recipe for gloopy or gummy mashed potatoes, or ones that are far too runny, or clearly instant, or, mounted with way too much butter and cream (yes, that is possible), but, although Yelpers "meh" nearly everything on the dinner menu, they do frequently mention that the mashed potatoes aren't bad.  And, um, I love mashed potatoes.  I had some roast shrimp, caramelized brussels sprouts, and other odds and ends to finish up at home, and I knew mashed potatoes would go great with them.  So mashed potatoes, takeout to bring home, it was.

The potatoes really weren't bad.  No strange lumps.  No gummy nature.  Just, pretty decent, normal mashed potatoes.  Not particularly seasoned, but I could add salt and pepper myself.  I certainly wouldn't go out of my way for these, but, really, they were fine.

***+.

Side: Mac & Cheese. $8.

The child in me also wanted some mac and cheese.  Another item people didn't seem to hate, and, well, I have some pretty low brow mac and cheese tastes (I still adore the mac and cheese from Krispy Krunchy Chicken, fast food style all the way!).

I opened the box and was quite pleased.  The aroma was incredible - garlic!  It looked extremely creamy, cheesy, and loaded with breadcrumbs and herbs.  Far better than I expected.  

I took a bite.  It was hot.  It was as creamy as it looked.  It was quite cheesy, but in a balanced way.  I have no idea what blend of cheese was in here, but, it worked really well.  The pasta, once I found it, was corkscrews, which I knew to expect having seen photos/reviews in advance.  I loved the pasta shape, as it really was just more fun to eat that way.  The herby breadcrumbs added a ton of flavor and texture.

I really enjoyed this, far better than I expected.  Mac and cheese is also available with bacon added for $2 more, which I'd consider in the future.

****.

Sweet

You know me, even if I think a place is awful, I still can't resist dessert.

Dessert Menu.

The dessert menu at Perry's is much like the savory menu.  Generic American. It has a requisite chocolate item (brownie with ice cream),  basic cheesecake (likely mass produced), a lemon cake, and, the one item that people do tend to get excited about, apple brown betty, which the menu even warns takes 15 minutes.  Served hot and fresh.

Apple Brown Betty w/ Vanilla Ice Cream. $9.

First, a refresher if you need one.  What is a brown betty, exactly?  Well, it is like a crisp, except that a crisp has oats in the topping and this does not.  So more like a crumble, in that it is oatless in the topping, but the topping is also integrated throughout, not just on top (but not as much as a buckle, which is more cake like).  Got it?  Ok, back to this version.

It did indeed take 15 minutes (actually, longer).  I wish I could say it was worth the wait.  Or that it was hot and fresh when I got it.  It was barely lukewarm, really, it seemed room temp to me.

The portion was large, and, the crumble top was generous.  But it was also very oily.  You can kinda tell from the photo, the crumble top itself was quite oily, which was odd.  I liked how crisp it was, but, it wasn't actually very tasty, and bordered on burnt.  Also, um, I don't think this was really a betty, as the topping really seemed to be just that, a topping.  A thick layer, but, just a topping (which is fine, just, call it a crumble?).

And what lay beneath?  Sweet, mushy apples.  In mushy apple-sauce like goo.  I don't mind goo, some apple pie/crisp/cobbler/crumble with generic from a can goo does it for me, but, this was too far in the applesauce direction for my tastes.  And, while I don't want al dente apples, or necessarily need them to be big slices, this was certainly too far in the mush direction for me.  It was also really really sweet, and didn't seemed spiced in any way (no cinnamon, nutmeg, etc).

So ... yeah, not sure why its such a signature item, nor why people are excited by it.  It is on the lower end of mediocre, but, kudos for having a hot (or, supposed to be?) dessert?

The ice cream was a scoop of generic vanilla ice cream, with, um, what looked like a bit of powder on top.  Powdered ... sugar?  Really not sure about that.  No complains really on the ice cream, besides that it was pretty average and generic.

**+, not worth the wait, and I wouldn't get again.

Update: Since the portion was large, and, well, I don't waste dessert, I had another serving the next night.  I heated it up properly, added fresh blueberries, and basically doubled the amount of ice cream (and used higher quality vanilla ice cream).  And whipped cream.  When it was piping hot, and had the blueberries to mellow out the sweetness from the apple filling and give it more texture in the fruit portion, and paired literally 50/50 with ice cream or whipped cream, I actually quite enjoyed it.  But, it definitely needed the equal parts ice cream, and was far better when served really warm.  ***+ my way.

Decaf Coffee. $3.

To pair with my dessert I got coffee, decaf since it was afternoon.  

I was told they weren't sure if they had coffee, something about a broken machine, but, then it did turn up.  I'm hoping it was decaf.  It was nicely hot, and didn't taste stale, nor funky.  It wasn't amazing decaf, but it certainly wasn't bad, and the $3 price was quite reasonable for the large size.

***.