Taco Bell

Update Review: November 2022

Another year, another World Series, another base stolen, another free taco.  I still don't plan to ever purchase something at Taco Bell, but this was probably the best taco I've had so far.

Soft Taco (refried beans). $1.99.

Since I never care for Taco Bell hard taco shells (regular or Doritos locos), I went for a soft taco this time, planning to throw it in to my panini press when I got home to crisp it up a bit.  I also opted for the only protein I haven't found horrible before, the refried beans.

The soft taco shell was about as average as it gets, but that is an ok thing, it wasn't stale at all.  The beans too, about as average as it gets, soft mushy refried beans, like I'd get in a can, no better, no worse, no real seasoning to speak of.

Soft Taco: Fresca ... but not.

I also modified my soft taco to be fresca style, which replaces the cheese with tomatoes, but, um, mine came with both.  Normally the taco comes only with lettuce and cheese, and you can add tomatoes for another $0.80, or go fresca style, and get lettuce and tomatoes.  So, I lucked out here I guess?  The lettuce was again, just totally average, shredded iceberg, but, not wilted, not brown.  Tomatoes were cubes, not too mealy.  The cheese, as always, was thinly shredded, and not melted.  Boo to the not melted factor, but, I planned to put it in my panini press anyway.

So, overall, highly average, nothing special, but not bad once I added salsa and grilled it. ***.

Update Review: May 2021

For free taco day, you know, the day in May where the moon looked like a taco, and thus Taco Bell decided to give out free tacos, I decided to use the opportunity to try one more kind of taco (why else would I go to Taco Bell and order an item I never care for?)  I certainly knew from past experience that I absolutely didn't want anything to do with the beef, and the refried beans were ... eh, so, I decided to try the other vegetarian option.  Sadly, it too left something to be desired.

Crunchy Taco. Black Bean. $1.59.

For my freebie, I tried the black bean version.  I left it otherwise unmodified, with only cheese and lettuce as the toppings.

It was decently made, with plenty of shredded cheese and iceberg lettuce.  Standard fast food quality.  A scoop of the expected black beans was in the bottom.  Crispy shell.

Overall, it was fine I guess, for what it was, but, um, I don't care for the shells at all (just like I don't like many tortilla chips), and the unmelted cheese just rubs me the wrong way.  The black beans weren't really seasoned, but at least weren't too mushy, and weren't dried out?  So for me, a major "eh".  Even if only $1.59 normally, I wouldn't pay that.

**+.

Update Review: December 2020

Yeah, yeah, yeah.   More Taco Bell.

Yes, the place I hadn't been to, ever in my life, before 2012 when I got a free taco as part of a World Series promo, and wasn't impressed.  And yet, 2020 was the year I went back, several times, as you read about in October.  I went back several more times during the COVID takeout days of early winter 2020, when the drive through really just was the easiest option (although, seriously, "fast food" it was not ... wait times in the drive through lane were ... ridiculous.  Snails pace I say!)

Chalupa Cravings Box (minus drink). $5.99.

Um, yeah.  Because it makes sense to have a taco, a chalupa, a burrito, and dessert, and a sugary drink, all in one meal.

Taco Bell thinks so, with one of their many combo or "Cravings" boxes, the Chalupa Cravings Box, which comes with ... your choice of taco (crunchy or soft), not just any burrito but the ridiculous Beefy 5-Layer Burrito, obviously the Chalupa Supreme, plus Cinnamon Twists for dessert, and a Medium drink, ~1500 calories if you don't modify anything.

I got one to split with my father, and I'll admit, um, I did enjoy some of the goodies in here.

And the box really is a deal - if you add up the items separately, it would cost $11.36!

Tacos

Taco Bell's biggest lineup is likely the tacos, they make up all combo meals, most promotions, etc, etc.  Offered in basic soft or crunchy, with choice of protein (beef/refried beans/black beans) as the standard price, steak or chicken for a free.  They come with just lettuce and cheese standard, but you can add tomatoes, onions, rice, jalapeno, "red strips", sauces, etc, or opt for a particular "style" to get some default changes - "fresco" to replace dairy and mayo with tomatoes for example, "supreme" for sour cream and tomatoes.

Slightly more exciting is the partnership with Doritos®, with the "Nacho Cheese Doritos® Locos Taco", which upgrades (?), the crunchy shell for a crunchy Doritos based shell.

Their version of Chalupas (fried shell) and Gorditas (flatbread around crunchy taco with 3-cheese filling between the shells)  round out the "taco-like" menu.

Nacho Cheese Doritos® Locos Tacos. $2.39.

The last time I had a free taco at Taco Bell, I opted for the refried beans rather than standard ground beef, and made it "fresca", with pico de gallo instead of dairy, as it was about to be discontinued.

This time, I kept it basic, no customizations.

On the outside, it looked the same, signature Doritos Locos Tacos holder, only this time with cheese spilling out.

Nacho Cheese Doritos® Locos Tacos. $2.39.

"A crunchy taco shell made from Nacho Cheese Doritos® is filled with seasoned beef, crispy lettuce, and shredded cheddar cheese."

Well, wow.  This was not very good.  At all.

Obviously I got it for my dad, but I was curious about the ground beef.  I *do* like beef.  

I didn't try the shell, as I have never liked it, and do not like Doritos.  The lettuce was ... lettuce.  The cheese was even more lackluster than I expected, literally just the shredded cheese haphazardly applied on top the lettuce.  I ... knew it wouldn't be melted on but kinda thought it might be adjacent to the beef so it melted a little from warm beef?

And then that beef.  Wow, I did *not* like it.  Mushy, and I didn't realize it was in some kind of ... sauce? Or it was just that mushy and water that with the seasoning it seemed like a sauce?  It was awful.

I don't have a zero star, or negative star rating, but this makes me consider it. No points here.

Soft Taco. Beef. Fresco (December 2020). $1.89.

A month later, I tried again, ordering for dad, a Soft Taco this time, his request.  Tried the beef again, to give it another try.  And went Fresco style, knowing that the pico de gallo was gone, but curious about the tomato quality.

I tried only the beef, just a tiny forkful, and wow, yes, my prior experience seemed to be how their beef is, and it was truly awful.  The texture I just can't get past.  I can't explain what is wrong with it, but there is something just truly foul about it.  ZOMG.  

NEGATIVE STARS that beef!

Fresco as of Dec 2020: just tomatoes.

Taco Bell discontinued the pico de gallo, so Fresco now just gives more tomatoes, which I asked to have on the side so I could evaluate.

Um, yeah.  As expected, pale, flavorless cubes.

*.

Chalupa Supreme, Refried Beans. $3.89.

"FRIED FOOD: A CULINARY MAGIC TRICK

 

If frying food is like hiring a famous wizard to put a spell on it, then the Chalupa Supreme is the ultimate hex. A hex you totally want that is.

You start with something completely ordinary and unexciting, but still something to be desired. Something you know is destined for greatness but it just needs that extra push to really make it mystical and supernatural. Then, you realize what that extra something is and you magically turn it into your favorite food after only a few seconds. That’s all, a few seconds. Oh, you don’t believe in magic, huh? Well, this just got awkward. Would you like a handful of cold potato shavings with your skepticism? No? How about potato chips? Exactly. Do you want this piece of bread shaped like a tire? Gross. Well how about a donut? Boom. Willing to walk away from the latest deep fried concoction at the county fair? Yeah, that’s what we thought. This is what you get with the Chalupa: beautiful witchcraft. All it’s magicalness in one perfect package. Take a traditional flatbread, something already awesome in its own right, and fry it. How does the saying go? Everything is better fried? Something like that, right. Or so we’re told. Once the flatbread is fried, you suddenly have a shell that mysteriously marries chewy and crispy; pure sorcery and pure perfection. Hold onto your wand because we’re not done yet. Fill the flatbread shell with seasoned beef, a three-cheese blend, lettuce, tomatoes, and reduced fat sour cream, and you get a Dante-esque culinary anomaly. You get the Chalupa Supreme. The only greater fried magic trick known to man is turning arbitrary dough splashes, into funnel cake. Now that is nothing short of a miracle. Neither is the Chalupa Supreme. Try one, we dare you."

Ok, now we were getting to something interesting.  Or at least, deep fried.  I'll admit, I was actually, um, excited to try a Chalupa, available in both a regular version, or, the latest innovation, with "6-month-aged cheddar toasted onto the iconic Chalupa shell".  I opted for the original, which comes with beef standard, but knowing how horrible the beef was, opted for refried beans instead.

So, besides fried, what is a Chalula?

First, the shell, the part I was oh-so-curious about.  It is *not* just a crunchy taco shell, or a fried flour tortilla.  Oh now.  It is a fried flatbread shell, much much thicker, puffier, and able to soak up more oil.

And inside?  Seasoned beef (or your substitution), three-cheese blend, lettuce, tomatoes, and reduced fat sour cream.

Fried. Cheesy.  Creamy.  Some "fresh" bits.  I had hope, at least to enjoy the shell dunked in salsa if nothing else.

I was reasonably impressed.

The shell had some strong points - I did love the textural contrast of the crispy exterior, and the softer interior, the thick flatbread works very well here.  It had great bubbles on it, nicely fried, but quite heavy and oily tasting.  It did *not* taste good for you, no question.  Sadly it wasn't very warm, if it was hot and fresh, I could see it being much, much better.

But still, I liked the shell, particularly when smothered in fillings.

***+ for the shell.

Chalupa Supreme: Inside.

So, the fillings.

The refried beans were standard Taco Bell refried beans.  No better nor worse than any fast food, canned, etc, refried beans.  Creamy bean mush.  Not what I want by the spoonful, but nice to have with the shell.

I really don't care for the unmelted 3-cheese blend, so I kinda pushed that aside, the tomatoes were as lackluster and flavorless as came with the Fresco taco, so they joined the cheese.  The lettuce was fine, but yeah, just shredded iceberg.  Nice to have a fresh component, and I had brought extra with me, as I knew I'd need it.

And finally, the sour cream.  It was, um, entirely on the front <1" of the Chalupa.  Literally none anywhere else.  Thanks person who made this for the love and care.  But, I did really want sour cream, and it was fine.

I didn't eat mine as a "taco" exactly, but opted to do it more like a Mexican Pizza, open faced, with crispy shell, smothered in mushy refried beans, sour cream, TONS of Mild salsa (I really like it!), and some fresh lettuce, and actually quite enjoyed this, besides wishing that the shell was hot, and less greasy.

I wouldn't get it again, but it was fun to try, and gave me hope that there actually is Mexican food out there (not at a fast food restaurant, heh), that I can really enjoy.

**+ for the fillings, standard low-end fast food quality.

*** overall.

Burritos

Burritos I rarely hear people mention when they speak of Taco Bell, but Taco Bell does have a decent burrito line up, obviously just the classic version, which you can get grilled as a "Style", or a Quesarito (yup, burrito but with a nacho cheese quesadilla wrapping it instead of standard tortilla), or a Grilled Cheese Burrito (cheese grilled into the exterior, melted into the inside, and nacho cheese sauce inside for good measure), or the 5-Layer Burrito which kinda just mixes all the styles together.  I think the signature Crunchwrap also counts as a "buritto" in their minds, a flour tortilla made into a very different shape and grilled, filled with all sorts of stuff including nacho cheese and, um, a tostada shell - yes inside.

Beefy 5-Layer Burrito. $2.99.

"NO ROOM FOR LETTUCE

 

Sorry, lettuce, RSVP is closed. The Beefy 5-Layer Burrito has got some strict rules and we’re not trying to rebel against them.

No, I get it, your friend Seasoned Beef is DJing tonight. That’s so cool, but we don’t really care. Sorry, not sorry. Unless you’re on the list, you can’t get in. Simple as that. If we let one guy in, well, you know how it goes. We gotta let everyone in. And we just don’t have the authority to do so nor do we really want to. *shoulder shrug* Oh, you’re a personal friend of the promoters Beans and Cheese? That’s really cool too *sarcastic tone*. Well, how about you give them a call, let them know you’re out here in the Beefy 5-Layer Burrito line, and maybe I can let you in. Yeah, maybe they’ll come out and get you and walk you to your “table” you have reserved at the Beefy 5-Layer Burrito. Oh, you don’t have their number? That’s quite convenient. Did you get a new phone? Oh, they got a new phone and never got around to giving you their new number. Well, that right there says more than anything.

Oh, I see, so now your dad owns the club, huh? You sure know a lot of people here. Well, the owner Reduced Fat Sour Cream is coming down from his office right now, so I’m sure he’ll take you, being his child and all, straight to the VIP lounge where you belong huh? Sir? What’s wrong? You look like you’re getting pretty nervous. Oh, you don’t know this guy? Interesting. That’s what I thought. Hey nacho cheese sauce! Get this lettuce character out of my sight; I don’t want him anywhere near the door to this Beefy 5-Layer Burrito. They don’t call it the Beefy 5-Layer Burrito because they have some winkling as bodyguards out front. No, they have beefy bodyguards to keep out all the club crashers. Sorry Lettuce, maybe not maybe next time."

Of course I went big.  Why get a simple thing when you can get, um, a ridiculous creation?  The 5-layer Burrito.

So, this thing.  I really don't know what the 5 layers are exactly.  

Yes, inside, at the core is a burrito, one loaded with basically everything creamy: refried beans, cheese, beef, sour cream ... and it comes wrapped in not one, but two flour tortillas, with nacho cheese sauce between them, like an outer quesadilla basically.  So I think the 5 layers are: flour tortilla, nacho cheese sauce, flour tortilla, beef, beans ... and they don't count the sour cream or other cheese layer? Maybe?  I don't know.

Anyway, standard recipe is that, of course you can modify the beef and beans as you please, and add more in.  This one you can also get Grilled as a style, which I opted for, because grilled burritos are always sooo much better!

I did order it with black beans instead of beef, but, my order came with beef.

From the outside, it didn't look particularly impressive.  It looked like, well, a nicely stuffed burrito, lightly grilled, not that extensive contact with the grill, clearly.  The outer burrito was ... fine? I mean, it is a flour tortilla.

Tortilla (this one and inside one): standard, **, not my thing.

Beefy 5-Layer Burrito: Cross Section.

Of course I cut it in half to understand it better, and to get a chance to go right for the glory, rather than deal with an unstuffed end piece.

Here you can start to see what was inside.  Between the two layers of tortilla was melty nacho cheese sauce.  This layer wasn't nearly as thick or generous as I wanted, given how tasty that nacho cheese sauce was.  I mean, yes, just generic, low brow, plastic, fake orange cheese sauce, but I really did enjoy it (I may have tried to dunk some Chalupa shell into it ...

Taco Bell has chips and nacho cheese sauce on the menu, and this sort of inspired me to want to try those.

Nacho cheese sauce? ***+.

Beefy 5-Layer Burrito: Another Cross Section.

I cut another section hoping to find more cheese sauce, but alas, that really was about as cheesy as it got, from the nacho cheese.

But of course there was the entire inside of this beast to consider too.

It was stuffed full of (horrible) taco beef (that yes, I had ordered black beans instead, grrrrr), refried beans (creamy mush as usual, but I don't mind it), TONS of sour cream, and a decent amount of quasi-melted other cheese.

The fillings were fine, about what you'd expect.  It definitely didn't have any fresh fillings, and no rice, and no red sauce like the standard burritos, but it was all quite creamy, saucy, and combined nicely.

I think if you liked their beef, or if you were successfully able to order without, that this really would be a satisfying, all-in-one, package, a good "on the go", easy item.  Sure, add some salsa as you please, but it had everything else you needed all nicely packaged up.

***+, not that I want another, as I don't care for flour tortillas, but, a nice item.

Sweets

Not exactly what Taco Bell is known for, but they do offer two dessert items: Cinnabon Delights® and Cinnamon Twists.

Cinnamon Twists. $1.

"Do the twist. The Cinnamon Twist. Just a simple, innocent, delicious cinnamon sugar snack. Or is it?

Just kidding. That’s all it is. Simple and innocent but equally delicious. It’s a traditional classic, not unlike the classic old-timey dance it shares a name with. Which, we’re totally not dogging by the way for all you old souls out there who enjoy reminiscing a simpler time and doing the twist on a Saturday night. We get it. New dance moves are always the new craze and it goes back for years. Even today we have new dance crazes what seems like almost every other month. It’s funny to think that not too long ago, the twist was actually how people got their groove on, though. Like we said, times were much simpler, but the times weren’t too long ago. Luckily for you, you can still do the twist by getting you some Cinnamon Twists.

But if the saying “history repeats itself” is true, then, well, don’t be surprised if you see people twist and shout and start using the words like groovy and nifty to describe things that people think are cool. Also, don’t be surprised when people now incorporate the classic dance move with Taco Bell’s iconic Cinnamon Twist. Wouldn’t that be a sight? It’ll give the dance move a whole new meaning. Someone, hurry. Get your phone and record yourself doing the twist with Cinnamon Twist. Let’s see how viral this can go. Recording yourself doing the twist, something you wouldn’t see back in the day. But wouldn’t that be funny? You know what’s even more hilarious though? Realizing we used to do the Twist, but now we’re into stuff like the NaeNae and Twerking. Just wait till you have to explain to your grandchildren the Harlem Shake."

Taco Bell Cinnamon Twists have a rather cult following.  People were so confused by them when they were introduced.  What *were* they made of? What *are* they?  It didn't take long for an employee to post a video, for people to "discover" the myster, that they were ... fried pasta, coated in cinnamon and sugar.  What?!  I'm not sure that is entirely accurate, but, the twists are made from just wheat flour, rice flour, and corn meal, plus, well, cinnamon, sugar, and oil.

I do love fried dough, and cinnamon sugar all over things, so I had hope for these.  I did think they'd be warm, but alas, they were not, even when I got them "fresh".  

They were crunchy, and did have cinnamon-sugar all over them (some more than others), but ... they were pretty lackluster to me.  Crunchy but fairly flavorless, a bit greasy, and the cinnamon sugar wasn't really that dominant.

Eh.  Not sure why people are excited about these.

**, and would not get again.

Update Review, October 2020

Yeah, yeah, I don't really like Mexican food, or tacos, or Taco Bell tacos (at least when I tried before, these certainly weren't part of my growing up), but, um, I can't resist a freebie.  Plus, I was fairly certain that the last free taco I got there was *not* the correct one.  I was curious ... plus, my experience of breakfast at Taco Bell Cantina really was decent enough ...

Nacho Cheese Doritos Tacos Experience.

"Whether or not you're a baseball fan, Taco Bell is offering an incentive to pay attention to World Series 2020. For the ninth year in a row, the fast-food chain will give away free Doritos Locos tacos if a base is stolen during the postseason series with its "Steal a Base, Steal a Taco" promotion."

So, yes, I was drawn in by the freebie.  Every year, apparently for 9 years, Taco Bell does this giveaway, a free Doritos Locos taco for everyone if there is a base stolen during postseason.  It is usually a complete disaster, establishments slammed, quality control through the roof, and, as I suspected when I did go once, not even the correct item.

This year however, they added a bonus.  For members of their club, you still got the free one along with everyone else, but the week prior, you also could, at your leisure, order another one, for free.  And you could customize as you pleased (paying for upgrades if necessary).

This sounded easy and a win-win, so, I placed my order on mobile, and got ready to walk in to pick up at the Taco Bell in town, October 2020, yes, during Covid.  When I arrived however, I found that the store was only allowing drive through, and, I kid you not, the drive through line, at 4:45pm on a Sunday, had ... at least 15 cars.  Maybe 20.  I hoped it would move fast.  Note that this location was a combo Taco Bell and KFC, all sharing the same drive through.

The drive through ... did NOT move fast.  Again, I kid you not ... 38 minutes.  38 minutes!  In a tiny town in New Hampshire, when I had placed my order already on mobile.  Luckily (?), they don't actually start your order until you reach the first drive through window, the order placing window, which, um, defeats the whole purpose, particularly as they are making EVERYONE go through drive through.  Sigh.

I was quite frustrated, and I wish I could say it was worth it ...

NACHO CHEESE DORITOS® LOCOS TACOS: Holder.

When I saw the holder for my taco, I was quite impressed.  Seriously, how fun does that look?  Also, it is what made it very obvious that my previous taco was most certainly not actually the right one.

The moment I saw the shell, it was double clear that the previous taco, as I suspected, was totally NOT the Doritos Locos taco.  This one was brilliant orange, as I had expected.

NACHO CHEESE DORITOS® LOCOS TACOS.
Sub beans for beef / "Make it fresco". $2.39.

"You get the same great taste of a Crunchy Taco (just like its supreme version) but with the shell made out of Doritos® tortilla chips. That’s the Nacho Cheese Doritos® Locos Taco for you. 

This taco normally comes with ground beef, shredded cheese, and lettuce, but I opted for beans instead of beef, a free substitution, mostly because I had tried the beef before, but also, I can't say I expected great beef.  You can also opt for the black beans free of charge, or upgrade to chicken or steak for additional fees.  I went for "fresco" style (more on this soon), also free of charge.  Other optional add ons are chopped tomatoes, jalapeño peppers, onions, rice, or "red strips", along with a host of sauces.  While I adore sauces, I stuck with the free ones, and just asked for all the different sauces.

So, let's start with the shell, the compelling, or at least interesting, part of the Doritos Locos taco.  It ... was, yup, a crispy taco shell, that tasted like nacho cheese Doritos.  Exactly what it said it would be.  Seriously, if you like nacho cheese Doritos, and you want your taco made with them, get this.  It was fresh and crisp, nothing bad to say about it, but, uh, I don't like nacho cheese Doritos?  This was free, and I was curious, but otherwise I'd never get it.  I brought it home for my dad.

The beans, refried style, were fine.  Mushy, standard, refried beans.  Not much more to say there.  They were fine.

Same with the shredded lettuce.  It was fine.  Standard lettuce.  Not brown or wilty.  Fine.

It clearly had a couple bits of tomato in it, likely the fresco style that they added on, realized I asked for it on side, and removed.  Heh.

Normally this gem would cost $2.39, which honestly seems like a bit much, but was free as part of the promo.

Salsa Verde on the side: nice container!

Benefit of a combination Taco Bell and KFC?  Nice containers!

I opted for fresco style on the side, and it came in a nice reusable KFC container.  Score.

I appreciated that they even had a checkbox for "on the side" with the fresco style, clearly a common request, to prevent things from getting soggy perhaps?

Pico De Gallo (on the side).
Included with Fresco Style (normally $0.35).

"Replace dairy, mayo-sauces, and guacamole with pico de gallo."

You can make any taco "fresco style", which is supposed to appeal to the healthier, or perhaps vegan, crowd.  My taco would normally have cheese, but I knew it wouldn't be nicely melted on anyway, and the pico de gallo was getting discontinued in less than 2 weeks, so this was my chance to try it.

It certainly didn't look great, the tomatoes were, um, not exactly red, but the taste was good, just classic pico with onions and tomato, but, it had some flavor.  It definitely added freshness to the taco, I'd recommend it, but alas, it is gone from menu now.

Since I opted for the fresco style, the pico de gallo was free, as it replaced the cheese, normally this would be a $0.35 add on.

Original Review, October 2012

As part of the world series, Taco Bell decided to offer up a crazy promotion: if anyone stole a base during the series, they'd give away free Doritos Locos Tacos one afternoon.  Of course, it happened, so the deal was on.  I've never been to a Taco Bell, and had absolutely no intention of taking them up on this lovely offer, no matter how much I love freebies.  I was pretty sure there was no way I'd possibly like it, and I certainly wasn't about to go stand in a ridiculous line for a <$2 free taco.

While I was out running errands, I saw numerous people walking past me chopping on their free tacos.  I still had no intention of stopping in.  I glanced at the Taco Bell as I passed it, ready to (silently of course) mock the people standing in the line.  But, much to my surprise, there was absolutely no line.  At 5pm.  So strange! Of course, now my curiosity peaked.  No line, and a free taco, and it was Taco Tuesday after all, and I was a little hungry ...

So I went in.  It was easy to see why there was no line, they were churning them out constantly.  People basically walked in, nodded at the cashier, and she handed over a taco.  They weren't fake ringing them up or anything, so there was nothing to slow down the process.

I got my taco, grabbed some of the "salsas" to try out, and went on my merry way.  However, I'm pretty sure I received a regular taco, not a Doritos Locos taco.  The shell was supposed to be nacho cheese Doritos flavor, and it most certainly didn't taste anything like a Dorito.  And when I looked at photos online later, those shells were orange colored, and mine wasn't.  Strange.  I wonder if they had run out of the Doritos shells, and she just wasn't telling anyone?

Crunchy Taco.  $1.89.

Described as "A crunchy, corn taco shell filled with seasoned ground beef, crisp shredded lettuce, and real cheddar cheese."

The taco shell was an incredibly generic corn taco shell.  Crunchy.  Basically the same as what you can buy in those taco kits at the grocery store.  I wish I'd gotten the actual Doritos one, as it would at least be somewhat novel!

The lettuce was shredded iceberg, not really crisp, not really ... anything.  I forgot how banal iceberg lettuce is.

Then there was some "real cheddar cheese", just shredded cheese, totally generic, no real flavor, just tasted like processed cheese.  Since it was the last component on the taco, it didn't melt into the meat or anything.  Meh.

The meat was seasoned ground beef, inoffensive enough, but, uh, I kinda wonder how beefy it really was.  It did have some seasoning.  It was only lukewarm, but I'm guessing that is because these were being made en masse.

Basically the most generic taco you could possible get.  It reminded me of the taco kits we used to make when I was a kid.  Absolutely no reason in the world to ever get one of these again.

Assorted Salsas.

• Verde: Watery green sauce.  Slightly more flavor than the verde from Nick's Crispy Tacos, but not a whole lot going on here.
• Hot: Very, very watery red sauce.  Not remotely hot, no real flavor, tasted like watery tomato paste.
• Fire: Thicker than the hot sauce, but entirely smooth, no traces of any vegetables in here.  A tiny amount of flavor.  Best of the bunch, but that isn't saying much.