Parker House Wedding Catering

The Parker House is a hotel located in Boston, MA, right near Boston Commons.  It is a historic site, in existence since 1855, and has many interesting historical facts.  For history buffs, the connections to the Freedom Trail may be interesting.  For literary folks, the connections with Emerson, Thoreau, Hawthorne and Longfellow.  For sports fans, Babe Ruth and Ted Williams.  But the Parker House is famous for me as well, for two culinary inventions: Parker House Rolls (clearly, named after them) and Boston Cream Pie.  (Yes, they claim to have invented Boston Cream Pie).  The restaurant has some interesting historical trivia, like the fact that Ho Chi Minh and Malcolm X worked there, as a baker and busboy, respectively.  Oh, and don't forget about Emeril.

I was excited when I found out that a friend of mine was holding her wedding reception at the Parker House.  I'd get to try the famous Parker House Rolls and Boston Cream Pie at their birthplace!  When is the last time you were excited about the wedding catering?  Spoiler: It turns out, I shouldn't have been.

For the positive, it was a lovely venue for a wedding reception.  The decor is an elegant, colonial style, and the space was well set up for hosting large events.  The hotel is huge, and it was easy for all guests to stay on site (although I stayed next door at the Nine Zero, a modern, quirky Kimpton property that I adore).

The reception started with a selection of 5 passed appetizers.  I didn't get photos of the part of the event.  I skipped the first item, marinated grilled lamb chops with mint demi glace, since I dislike lamb, but they looked overcooked.  Others did like the demi glace to dip them into.  I also skipped the beef arepas with salsa picante, because I had my eye on the seafood selections.

The first seafood item to come around was Jonah crab cakes with red pepper aioli.  The mini crab cake was cute, but kinda fishy, lukewarm.  The aioli was a nice touch, except that it was flavorless.

Next came what was described as "tuna tartare with wasabi crème fraîche and micro greens".  Sounds great, but tartare?  Um, no.  It was a cracker with a slice of slightly seared tuna sitting on top.  The tuna was warm, it was limp, and ... it was a slice, not a tartare.  I wish I could have spit it out.  The texture, the temperature, everything was just off here.  The wasabi crème fraîche was good however, and gave a pop of flavor to the dish.

Scared off by the seafood, I decided to try the final appetizer, "kobe" beef sliders with caramelized onions and Vermont cheddar on a brioche roll.  Everyone loved these the first time they came around, and I'd passed originally.  Sadly, the one I received did not have any caramelized onion, which I was really looking forward to!  Mine also didn't really have any cheese, although I saw that others did have nicely melted cheese.  I believe this had the potential to be tasty, as it is hard to go wrong with caramelized onion and cheddar, but mine was missing these essential components.  The patty was hard as a rock, way overcooked.

A table was set up with a few buffet style cold appetizers as well, including bruschetta with tomato, basil, and fresh mozzarella on grilled bread and an antipasto platter featuring imported sweet abruzzi, hot soppressata, baby mortadella, capicola, cured beef bresaola, pecorino romano and provolone cheese, grilled vegetables, tomato mozzarella salad, bread.  I didn't try any of this, as it really didn't look good.  Everything looked super oily, and like it had been sitting for a very long time.

After an hour or so of socializing and drinks, we moved into the dining room for the main meal.  I'd like to say the food got better, but it did not.  However, I wasn't there for the food, even if I was excited to try some of the iconic items.  I was there to celebrate the wedding of one of a friend who I have known for years, and in that regard, the meal was a total success.  Who really cares about the food when you are surrounded by friends?  I didn't take notes at the event, so my review isn't as detailed as normal, but, I can't say that I'd actually recommend the Parker House for your wedding catering.

Lobster Bisque Laced with Cognac.

The service at the event was really quite bad.  To start, bowls of soup were just placed in front of us, not a word said.  No menus were ever shown.  What if someone was allergic to shellfish?  I only found out it was lobster bisque after I asked, after our full table had been served, everyone had started eating, and it was clear we'd never be told.  It looked like it could have just been tomato soup.

The bisque smelt good, but failed to deliver.  It was barely lukewarm.  It had very little flavor, but moreover, it had no lobster.  I know it was a bisque, but I expected at least a few chunks or ... something.  There were some lumps in mine, which I kept hoping might actually be lobster, but just turned out to be clumps of the soup itself.  It did have a slight booziness to it, which I thought was it just not being cooked off properly, until I read the description later, and saw that it was intentionally "laced with cognac".

Not very good, but sadly, the best dish of the meal.

Traditional Caesar Salad.

Next, this lovely dish was plopped down in front of us.  Caesar salad,  "traditional caesar salad featuring shaved asiago and Parker House roll croutons with creamy garlic caesar dressing".

It tasted exactly as awful as it looked.

It clearly had been plated way too far in advance.  The lettuce was beyond limp and soggy.  The dressing was actually decent, but most of my salad was totally undressed, the opposite problem from what I expected.  I had perhaps two croutons on my plate.

It was a mess, and it wasn't fresh.  Really poor job on their end, although I believe this could have been good if properly composed, and served fresh.

Roll with Butter.

Next, we were each given a roll.  Since the Parker House is famous for inventing these rolls, I was eager to try one.  I'm still not positive these actually were Parker House rolls ... I thought they were supposed to have a different shape, and a slightly glazed exterior?  But they wouldn't not serve us the Parker House Rolls right?  These have been a classic there since the 1880s!

The roll was the highlight of the meal.  Shocking, as I'm not normally a bread person, and I quickly gobbled down my roll.

Unfortunately, the rolls were not served hot.  Again, I feel like the kitchen was all off on the timing.  Lukewarm soup, salad that had been clearly plated hours in advance, cold rolls.  Come on folks!

Anyway, the roll was good.  It didn't look like much, just like a standard dinner roll.  But it was soft and fluffy, and had a nice sweetness to it.  The butter balls served alongside were unremarkable, but really did add to the roll.

Our table was later given a basket full of extra rolls.  After deciding that my entree was beyond horrible, I decided to go for a second roll to make sure I had enough food.  Sadly, that one wasn't nearly as good.  I'm really not sure why.  No consistency here, even in the rolls.

Seared filet mignon, golden chanterelle bordelaise sauce, roasted baby potato, fresh asparagus, baby carrots and sun burst squash.

For entrees, we had a choice of chicken or beef.  Both were served with veggies on the side.

Each plate had exactly two of each of the vegetables: asparagus, carrots, potatoes, squash.  Those who selected chicken had green beans instead of asparagus, but otherwise, the sides were the same.  I was amused that they even bothered switch a single veggie.  The vegetables were all flavorless, completely unseasoned, and, like everything lukewarm.  At least they weren't mushy, and did provide some color on the plate.

We pre-selected our entrees when we RSVPed, and no choice was given as to how we wanted the steak cooked.  I would normally go for medium-rare, but as far as I could tell, they all arrived well done.  There wasn't even a tiny hint of pink in my steak.  It wasn't moist, it wasn't tender, it was just way overcooked for my taste.  And it t didn't seem to be that high of quality to begin with, so maybe that was for the best.  It really had no flavor at all, and, like the veggies, didn't seem to be even minimally seasoned.

There was a sauce on the steak, apparently "golden chanterelle bordelaise sauce", but, like everything else on the plate, it was bland.  It added needed moisture to the otherwise dried out steak, but offered little else.

At least the portion was generous?

Vanilla Cake with Coconut Frosting. Tuxedo Dipped Strawberry.

Finally, the part I always look forward to ... dessert!

The cake had both chocolate and vanilla layers, but no choice was given as the servers unceremoniously plopped it down on tables.  Plates of cake were just plopped down at each seat while everyone was up dancing.  Amusingly, the plates were left at the table for what really seemed liked less than 10 minutes, before being cleared away.  Most people never got to even try the cake, as they were dancing when they were delivered, and I don't think anyone ever expected them to be taken away so quickly.  I really don't understand why they did that.

I of course had my priorities, and made sure I got my cake.  It was decent, not too dry although not very moist.  It was a classic layer cake, with frosting in-between the layers, on top, and down the sides.  The ratio of cake to frosting was a bit off (too much frosting, even for me, and I always like more frosting than most), but the frosting was quite tasty, loaded with coconut, which was unexpected, as I thought this was just going to be standard vanilla cake with vanilla frosting.  Definitely a great pick by the bride!

The slices were plated with tuxedo dipped strawberries, which were certainly the best looking component of the entire meal.  So cute!  Maybe *someone* in that kitchen does care about presentation?  The strawberries hiding under the chocolate layers however weren't ripe ... at all.  Mine was actually almost completely white.  But I liked the chocolate, I liked how adorable they were, so I forgave them for this.  Plus, it was November, in Boston.  I forgave them so much so that I took the strawberries from the plates of those neglecting theirs around me.  Besides the rolls, I think these were the highlight of my meal, particularly when paired with the coffee that was also not really offered to anyone but the handful of us who were actually not on the dance floor at the moment the cake came out.  No refills for the coffee were offered, as the staff really seemed to just want to be done with us.

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Cooking Demo by Chef David Bazirgan

I haven't blogged about a cooking demo in a few years, although I attend at least one every Saturday morning.  But I wanted to share a glimpse into the SF cooking demo scene, in particular, a glimpse into a really great demo.

First, a bit about demos in general.

Everyone knows San Francisco is a fabulous city for food, but that goes beyond just dining in restaurants and shopping at farmer's markets.  The local chefs constantly engage with the community, through fundraisers and special events, including hosting cooking demos.  For example, every Saturday morning at 11am, CUESA, the organization that runs the Ferry Plaza Farmer's Market hosts a demo.  Sometimes there is a second one at 12pm too.  They are held outside, in the midst of the market, rain or shine.  The theme of those demos centers around using products that can be found at the market.  Unless the recipe being shown is something I'm allergic to, or really dislike, I attend the demos as part of my Saturday morning Farmer's Market routine.

Or at least, I always did, until Embarcadero Center started hosting Saturday morning demos.  Also at 11am.  Not held with the same regularity as CUESA, and only held during the summer.  One year they held them inside the old Williams-Sonoma space, but this year they have all been outside in the courtyard inside Two Embarcadero Center.  Since there is not demo kitchen outside, the theme has been grilling.

Now, I was a CUESA regular.  When I first heard about the Embarcadero Center demos I was torn.  The Embarcadero Center lineup featured more well known chefs.  The dishes they were preparing sounded better.  But ... I felt loyal to CUESA.  That is, until I attended an Embarcadero Center demo.

I love the CUESA demos, don't get me wrong.  I really appreciate that they are held without fail, every single week.  They showcase seasonal produce, and introduce the audience to many fruits, vegetables, and herbs that were previously unknown.  But ... the Embarcadero Center demos are just more enjoyable, and, generally, far tastier.

The biggest difference between the demos is that the CUESA demos have a brief introduction and a few questions from a host, but the majority of the time is left for the chef to fill.  The Embarcadero Center demos are fully hosted, by Liam Mayclem, aka, the "Foodie Chap", who you can find on KCBS.  He makes all the difference.  The demos start with a quasi-interview, digging into the background of the chef, usually telling a few embarrassing stories along the way, and often filled with PG-13 jokes.  He manages to get even the most shy chefs to really open up and creates a memorable dialogue.

This isn't to say the Embarcadero Center demos are highly produced or anything, they are on a sidewalk, subject to everything that can happen in the natural environment.  At the last demo I was at there, it was very windy, and the banner backdrop went flying, almost clocking the chef doing the demo in the head.  The time before that, there was a cement mixer pouring cement literally the entire time.  But even when things are going slightly wrong, it is still entertaining.  I genuinely enjoy these demos, for the content, the stories, and of course, the food.

Which gets me to the next point, the food.  I'm obviously a food lover.  I love to taste and try everything.  And at demos, you always get to taste the dish being prepared.  It usually comes in a small appetizer size, which is just perfect for me.  Depending on the venue, you can get a dish prepared by a top chef themselves, or, with the assistance of those running the event.  I'll never forget tasting a few dishes by Chef Daniel Humm during his booktour demo at Williams-Sonoma a few years ago.  I didn't need to go all the way to New York to get a taste of Eleven Madison Park, and, I got it prepared by Chef Humm himself!

Anyway.  Back to today's demo.  Like always, I was torn between CUESA and Embarcadero Center.  The CUESA demo was the chef from A16, and the dish sounded appealing.  But, the Embarcadero Center demo was Chef David Bazirgan, and he was doing a dish with scallops, which, as you know, is one of my absolute favorite ingredients.

Chef Bazirgan is at the helm of Dirty Habit, a restaurant on the fifth floor of the Hotel Palomar.  It opened in early May, and the whole team actually came to my office before the opening to do a little preview.  The bar program sounds incredible, and, at the preview event, I think the drinks even stole the show over the food, although it was all excellent as well.

But I'm familiar with the crew behind Dirty Habit, as it opened in the space that used to be The Fifth Floor.  The concept is entirely different however, and the space has been completely remodeled, and now features an amazing outdoor dining area (or, so I am told.  I still haven't been!)  The Fifth Floor did have a lovely lounge scene, but was mostly a fine dining establishment, serving tasting menus filled with french cuisine.  I'd been to The Fifth Floor several times, like when I held a fairly last minute large group dinner there, or when I went to one final foie gras dinner before the ban.  I always found it good, but I wasn't ever blown away.  Well, I take that back, one of the most memorable desserts I've ever had was when Emil and I went once just to dine in the lounge, and had the very first dessert that I've ever seen Emil actually like: fried rhubarb pie, with foie gras ice cream, and pie crust foam.  It was simply one of the best things I've ever tasted.  I was already a fan of their pastry chef, Francis Ang, before that night, but since then, I've been to every demo he has done around town, like the ridiculously tasty beignets from a few years ago at a CUESA demo.

Anyway, back to Chef Baz.  The demo began with a story of his growing up on the East Coast, and of his time working for Barbara Lynch in Boston.  I didn't ever blog it, but I went to her flagship restaurant, No. 9 Park, a few years ago with my parents.  My father is not at all comfortable with fine dining, so we just ate in the lounge, and he didn't want anything on the menu, but my mother and I had a great meal (I adored the hake, lobster, and corn dish).  The demo was enjoyable, but, most importantly for me, it was delicious.

Grilled Scallops, Creamy Corn, Blistered Padron Peppers.

The scallops were what I was most looking forward to.  I really love scallops.  During his demo, Chef Baz talked about how he normally grills or sears them quickly, as he likes them to remain a bit rare in the center.  Yes!  Me too.  Over cooked scallops make me so sad.  The ones served to us were prepared by an assistant, so I think they were a bit more cooked than chef would have done himself, but they were still nicely done, not at all rubbery, and I loved the grilled flavor to them.

The scallops were served over an incredible creamed corn.  First, who doesn't love creamed corn?  I'll be honest, I even still sometimes eat the stuff from a can, I love it that much.  But this barely resembled the familiar canned mush.  The corn itself was super flavorful, incredibly fresh.  Corn season is at its peak right now, and it showed in this dish.  But the secret ingredient wasn't the corn.  Nor was it the copious cream.  It was ... shallots!  They added another dimension of flavor that elevated it far beyond any other creamed corn.

Corn and scallops are always a pairing I enjoy, as they seem to bring out the natural sweetness in each other.  The peppers added just a touch of heat, and I could imagine this being delicious with diced hot peppers added to the creamed corn too.

Overall, a delightful dish, well conceived, nicely executed, and absolutely perfect for a summer day.  And, it turns out, a more complex version is on the menu at Dirty Habit right now, so if you'd like to enjoy it yourself, you just need to head there.  Which you should, and let me know how it is :) 

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Oogie’s Gourmet Popcorn

I really get munchy in the evenings, and popcorn is one of my favorite snacks.  Well, in particular, I always crave the kettle corn that I can only find in my hometown.  I've been on a quest to find something even remotely as good in San Francisco, but alas, my quests have come up empty.  I've found some pretty good caramel corn, and Ojan has a fondness for basic microwave popcorn, but still, nothing competes with the kettle corn from Lebanon, NH.  I'm not joking.

Anyway, I also sometimes try packaged popcorn.  Oogie's makes a slews of flavors, mostly savory, including interesting sounding varieties like Cracked Pepper & Asiago, Spicy Chipotle & Lime, Smoked Gouda, and Hatch Chilli con Queso. 

Oogie's popcorns are all gluten-free, non-GMO,  no trans-fat, all-natural, kosher, etc, etc.   I only have tried some of the more standard offerings.  I also saw on their website that they do indeed make a kettle corn, although I haven't encountered it.  I'm keeping my eyes open!

White Cheddar.

The first flavor I tried was white cheddar.  The popcorn itself was fine, large kernels, but it didn't taste like white cheddar at all to me.  Sure, there was a savory coating, but I didn't taste the desired cheesiness.  Meh.

I gave it to Ojan, who easily finished the bag, but said he didn't love it.

Movie Lovers Butter Popcorn.

After the disappointing white cheddar, I had no expectations for the Movie Lovers Butter Popcorn.  I assumed I'd try a few bites, take my notes, and hand it over to Ojan.

Instead, HE got only a few bites, and I got the majority of the bag.

The popcorn itself was clearly bagged popcorn, not as good as fresh, not as crisp, but not stale tasting either.

The remarkable part was the flavoring.  Movie Lovers was the right name for it.  It reminded me exactly of movie theater popcorn.  So crazy buttery.  In that not-actual-butter sort of way, clearly fake "essence" of butter.  And very salty.

The cheddar variety didn't have much flavor, but this most certainly did.  I felt a bit sick after eating it, but, I really enjoyed it.  Exactly like the movies!

Sun-Dried Tomato & Parmesan.

And finally, sun-dried tomato and parmesan.  Like the white cheddar, I just didn't care for it.  It did taste sun-dried tomato and perhaps slightly cheesy, but the savory flavor combination just didn't do it for me.

Again, nicely popped popcorn, large size kernels.

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La Maison du Chocolat, Tokyo

During my recent trip to Tokyo, one of my co-workers purchased treats for everyone from a pâtisserie/chocolate shop in the mall attached to our office building.  These were not traditional Japanese treats however, instead, he went to a French chocolate shop, La Maison du Chocolat.  The shop began in Paris in 1977, but now has a worldwide presence, including London, Hong Kong, Dubai, Tokyo, and New York.

Anyway, instead of chocolates, our coworker got his favorites: eclairs, available in chocolate, caramel, or coffee varieties.  Besides chocolates and eclairs, they also carry macarons and a few types of tarts and cakes.

The eclairs are apparently one of their most famous and popular items, but I wasn't particularly impressed.

 L'éclair au chocolat.

"Chocolate and pastry cream nestled in a delicate choux pastry dressed with chocolate fondant."

The choux pastry was pretty standard, a big soggy, not remarkable.  I also thought it was too thin, hard to tell in this photo, but it just barely held in the cream.  This treat was much more about the filling than the pastry itself.

The filling was a creamy, mild chocolate filling.  Not as intensely chocolatey as you'd expect from a chocolate shop.

The chocolate ganache on top was good.

Overall, it wasn't bad, but it wasn't particularly remarkable.

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IHOP, 2014

Every year, I go to IHOP.  I go twice.  So here you have it.  My two reviews of IHOP from 2014.

Visit #1, Beach Street.

I know, I know, IHOP.  Yes, that IHOP.  I'm sorry, I have a connection with the place, which you can read all about in my first review of the place, back in 2012.

I'm sure you know IHOP too, so I'm not going to discuss any generic details again, you can read about those in that first review, or in my subsequent review the next year.

This year, I again visited the Beach Street location in San Francisco, right near Fisherman's Wharf.  I went on a Sunday at 11am, so I was of course greeted by a waiting area loaded with people.  The place is seriously, seriously packed on weekend mornings, I assumed mostly by tourists, but as I later discovered in chatting with others at the counter, they were all locals.  Since I was alone, I was able to easily get a seat at the counter, which was empty when I arrived, save one diner.  (Well, it was devoid of patrons, but full of dirty dishes.  It took a good 10 minutes for any seats to get cleared so the swarm of us counter diners could get seated)

Once seated, I was immediately greeted, given a menu, and my drink order was taken.  I knew exactly what I wanted already, so tried to order, but the server taking my drink order said she'd send my real server over.  5 minutes elapsed.  Then 10.  When the original server cruised back by and saw me still with a menu in front of me she said, "he hasn't come yet?" and I said no.  She quickly rushed off to make someone else come take my order.  Besides being generally slow, service was friendly, non-invasive.

The pass and garnish station.

I really enjoy sitting at the counter because you get a prime seat to watch all the chaos.  Yes, the chaos.  IHOP somehow manages to function, but it is not a well oiled machine.  I described it in an earlier review, but the pace of the place, and the seeming disarray is so shocking that it seems worth mentioning again.  Half the staff are constantly rushing around, totally frantic.  The other half seem to move slow as molasses and look like they could care less.

Dishes come out of one side of the kitchen to the pass above.  I was again shocked at how long dishes sat there.  It seemed like no one was even trying to time the orders so full tables would come together at the same time.  I watched one plate of pancakes sit for 13 minutes.  13 minutes!  Most seemed to average 6-8 minutes, sitting there under the heat lamps.  But then it gets worse.  The slowest moving guy would come pull a bunch of plates down from under the heat lamps onto the counter to garnish them.  It is here that the butter, whipped cream, etc are applied.  (Side note: the butter comes in a giant bucket, and is served with a ice cream scoop.  Watching the massive scoops of butter get added to dishes amused me the entire service).  But back to the slow guy.  Once he pulled dishes out from under the lamps, they would sit there while he pondered them without doing a thing, occasionally wiping the plates, finally adding the butter, and eventually bringing them to tables.  I'm pretty sure most plates were more than 10 minutes old by the time they reached patrons.

This might explain why it takes so long to get your food at IHOP.  Just like I mentioned on my past visits, it took almost 45 minutes for me to get pancakes.  The man next to me got up and complained that he'd been waiting over an hour for his burger.

I also saw a ton of plates get sent back.  Several orders of pancakes were returned, with the server asking the kitchen to warm them back up, as diners complained they were cold.  No wonder.  Many other orders were sent back because they were just wrong, "she didn't want whipped cream on this", or, they had all the wrong side dishes.

Previously I somewhat felt like the staff put on an impressive show, but this time around, it just seemed like it was all falling apart.  I plan to visit the other SF location next time.

Place setting, including syrups.

As always, the counter was stocked with their 4 signature syrups.  And as always, the pitchers were sticky to the touch.  And as always, I couldn't resist trying all 4, even though I thought I knew what to expect.

The blueberry was my least favorite, it tasted sweet and fruity-ish, but the actual flavor was indistinguishable.  There were little bits in the syrup, which looked like they might be blueberry skin, so I think there might have been some real fruit in there.  Amusingly, on the first visit I wrote about, I liked the blueberry the best.  Preferences change it turns out.

Speaking of fruit, the strawberry was much better, very strawberry tasting, although not exactly like fresh fruit.  It was a very thin goo, or, perhaps thick syrup.  The flavor was actually decent, but strawberry syrup is just a strange concept to me.  Amusingly, on the second visit I wrote about, I thought it was fake tasting and my least favorite.  Maybe it does make sense to try them all each time!

My favorite was the Butter Pecan, which was very thick, and had a somewhat interesting buttery flavor.

Old Fashioned rounded out the bunch, again fairly thick, and tasted exactly like what it was, fake maple flavored corn syrup.

I also tried the Sugar Free syrup, which came in a squeeze bottle, and hadn't even been opened.  I tried to squeeze it on, and was surprised when nothing came out, until I discovered the seal still on.  It was a thinner style, which I somewhat preferred.

The best mix I came up with was the SF syrup mixed with butter pecan, it created a buttery flavor and a good consistency.  I'm sure next time around I'll have a new set of favorites.

Harvest Grain 'N Nut Pancakes.  $8.99.

But I wasn't there for the syrups, I was there for my favorite pancakes: Harvest Grain 'N Nut, which I've gotten almost every time I've visited an IHOP (except the time I went rogue and ordered the Whole Wheat).

I asked for my butter on the side, since I learned from previous experience that when the pancakes sit on the counter forever, the scoop of butter melts in way too fast, and your top pancake winds up drenched in butter (not a bad thing), but you don't ever have enough left for the rest of the stack, even though an entire ice cream scoop full was added.

Do you remember me praising the butter before for being soft, whipped, and fluffy?  It was not so this time.  Hard as a rock.  And since my pancakes were lukewarm when they arrived, it didn't melt at all.  Doh.

So far, not so good.  Barely warm pancakes, hard butter.

Now, the other thing to note is the size of the pancakes relative to the size of my plate.  No, IHOP did not get bigger plates.  These pancakes were absolutely tiny compared to what I've previously had, both in diameter and thickness.

Pancakes, 2012.

Just for reference, here are the pancakes from my first visit, literally, twice as big.  This is the same size plate.

Thin Pancakes.

Now, I don't necessarily want monster diameter pancakes, so that aspect wasn't a big deal to me.  But what was a big deal is that they were incredibly thin.  What I love about IHOP pancakes is how moist and fluffy they are.  These were not fluffy.  They were not moist.  Just look at how thin they were!  I was describing them to Ojan, and actually said the phrase, "you don't understand, they were as thin as pancakes!"  Uh ... whoops?  I guess that phrase is normally meant to describe pancakes, but IHOP pancakes are supposed to be huge and fluffy.

Anyway.  Thin, not fluffy, not moist, fairly tough.  They weren't burnt, which is about the only good thing I can say about them.  If I were anywhere else, I would have complained.  It also made me mad because I was sitting there watching all the other orders of pancakes sitting in the pass, and they were all huge and fluffy.  Why weren't mine?  Why can't IHOP get pancake size consistent, isn't this what they are known for?

Grumble.  So, my pancakes weren't good.  I did still like the heartiness to them, the bits of oats and nuts, but otherwise, they just weren't good.  Very poor execution.  I will not be going back to this location, but the flavor was still good, so I'm not giving up on IHOP completely ...

Visit #2, Lombard Street Location

Several months ago I made my annual birthday pilgrimage to IHOP.  As you read about then, I was highly disappointed, and decided that I was never returning to the big IHOP in San Francisco on Beach Street.  But I still had so many memories of delicious IHOP pancakes, that I decided to give the smaller location on Lombard Street a try.  I'm not really sure why I'd always gone to the Beach Street location before anyway.

The Lombard Street location was a standard IHOP.  You can read all the general details about IHOP in my past reviews.  I'll focus this review only on the comparison with the other SF location.

First, it is smaller.  Much, much smaller.  Definitely less than half the size in terms of tables, plus no additional counter area.

It was still just as crowded as any IHOP.  I arrived at 10am, and the entire waiting area, and the outside sidewalk, were filled with people.  At the Beach Street location I can usually skip all of this and sit at the counter since I'm dining alone, or with one other person, but that was not an option here.  I put my name down ("July", I was called, and didn't bother correct), and waited about 15 minutes.

Since I wasn't going to be seated at a counter overlooking the kitchen, I used the waiting time as an opportunity to watch the front of house.  They seemed much more calm than Beach Street.  No one was rushing around like crazy.  Food didn't seem to sit in the window as long.  Decent signs.

My favorite part of the experience was people watching.  Normally I sit at the counter and entertain myself watching the chaos in the Beach Street kitchen, so this time I had the other patrons to amuse me instead.  The demographics of the clientele at IHOP are so shockingly different from what I encounter in my normal life.  Most were much older, including cute elderly couples out for their special breakfast together.  Many others wore baseball caps, T-shirts bearing the emblems of sports teams, and boots.  And by boots, I don't mean trendy women in leather boots, I mean 55 year old men in dirty, heavy work boots with thick treads.  Honestly, it was rather refreshing to see an entirely different subset of society.

The best people watching was the lady who was seated next to me, about 10 minutes after me.  I've always thought that IHOP's portions are ridiculous, particularly some of their combo meals that easily include enough food for 2-3 people.  Or, so I thought.  I never imagined any one person would finish a full single one themselves, let alone order multiple meals.  But ... this woman did.  She ordered: a Big Steak omelette (1260 calories), a short stack of 3 pancakes (470 calories, not including the mound of butter or syrup), AND strawberries and cream crepes (960 calories).  Her mounds of food arrived all at once, and she systematically worked through it all.  Starting with the crepes.  All 4 of them.  Followed by the huge omelette.  When I left, she was finishing off the stack of pancakes.  (I thought she consumed them in a strange order, I personally would start with the savory omelette, pair it with the pancakes, and save the crepes as my sweet finish.  And I'd ask to have the crepes arrive last so they wouldn't get cold.  There is no way her pancakes were still remotely warm by the time she got to them.  But, the order in which she ate them, or the methodical manner in which she did so, were really the least of the crazy things about watching that ordeal.)  Wow.

Standard IHOP Tables.

After about 10 minutes, my name, "July", was called out, and I was lead to my table.  Standard IHOP decor.  Everything was cleaner than the Beach Street location.

The host and cashier were both friendly, but my server was basically non-existent and didn't really speak to me.  She probably said fewer than 10 words to me the entire time I was there.  "Drink?" was all she said when she first stopped by to take my drink order.  When she returned with my drink, all I got was "Ready?" and a head tilt indicating that I should order, and  "Anything else?" once I'd ordered.  She said nothing when bringing my order to me, never checked in on me, and took a very, very long time to bring me the bill after I was clearly done eating.  I think she did say "Thank you" then.  She wasn't a bad server, just not very attentive.  Not that I needed anything.

Standard Syrups.

Speaking of cleanliness, the most shocking thing to me was when I picked up the syrups.  They weren't sticky!  What!??!

Sadly, this time, I didn't end up liking any of the syrups.  You may recall from my past reviews that I tend to like different syrups every time, but this time, I wasn't into any of them.

The blueberry was just sweet goo, the Old Fashioned tasted like corn syrup, and the Butter Pecan was too ... buttery?  Just a few weeks prior, I said I liked the butteriness to the Butter Pecan, and deemed it my favorite.  Do my tastes really change this much from week to week, or, are the IHOP syrups inconsistent?  The strawberry syrup was the only one I really liked, even though it clearly isn't maple syrup, the strawberry flavor really is quite good.

I also tried the sugar free syrup, and hated it.  It was bitter, and way too sticky and thick.

Harvest Grain 'N Nut Pancakes.  $8.99.

I went for my classic order: Harvest Grain 'N Nut pancakes.

As I've learned from past experience, I asked for the butter on the side.  I still use plenty of it, but prefer for it not to all soak in to the very center of the top pancake before they arrive.

My pancakes were sadly not really any better than my birthday visit at Beach Street a few weeks prior.  They were again small in diameter, and thin.  They arrived lukewarm.  They were kinda gummy, not at all fluffy.  What I love about IHOP pancakes is that they are usually huge, super fluffy, super moist inside, and crispy on the outside.  These lacked all of the defining characteristics.

I did still like the heartiness from the oats and the crunch from the walnuts and almonds, but, they weren't anything like they used to be.  As you read in my last review, I have pictures of the ones I got just a year prior, and they were radically different.  This isn't just my memory, I have photographic evidence!  But ... if both SF locations have changed the form of the pancakes, I wonder if that is a franchise-wide thing?  If so ... BOO!

The price of $8.99 was fine, and the same as the other location.

Overall, I found this IHOP to be a bit more on top of things and less insane, but, I have no reason to return there either.  Sadness.

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House Of Bagels

House of Bagels is a Jewish deli and bakery located in the Inner Richmond.  They've been around since 1962!  As you can guess from the name, they make bagels, but they also make assorted bread (challah, rye, pumpernickel), plus cookies, tarts, muffins, scones, and other baked goods.  The deli area features bagel sandwiches (with cream cheese and lox of course), plus all your classic sandwiches, including pastrami and a slew of different reuben's.  You can also get latkes, kugel, or matzo ball soup, to round out the proper Jewish deli experience.  But bagels are where they shine, and they offer 27 different varieties.  The bagels are true NY style, boiled.

But ... I haven't ever actually been to their retail store, although I've had their bagels a zillion times.  They are one of the major bagel suppliers for all the cafes in San Francisco, so chances are, you've had their bagels too, even if you don't know it.

The bagels I've had have all been pretty good.  Soft, shiny exterior, good chew, and they toast up better than any other bagels I've ever encountered.

Plain Bagel.

I actually never tried this one.  See, I like bagels, but, I don't like plain ones.  I consider even sesame, poppy, etc generally too plain as well, unless I'm turning them into pizza bagels or perhaps egg and cheese sandwiches.  If I'm having a bagel with cream cheese, I need either the bagel, or the cream cheese, to be more interesting.

But Ojan eats these all the time.  They are soft, have a good shine on the outside, and I guess are good for plain bagels.

Whole Wheat Bagel.

I also don't tend to go for whole wheat, as they are also a bit too plain for me, but Ojan gets these all the time too, and after having a really enjoyable whole grain bagel from Panera, I decided to give one a shot.

I liked it far more than I expected.  Like all of their bagels, it was soft, had a nice shine, and toasted up nicely.  I know that all bagels should toast about the same, but they don't.  House of Bagels bagels get a nice crust on the exterior but stay soft inside.  Pretty much perfect every time.  Not sure what they do differently!

It had a heartiness to it from the whole wheat that I appreciated.  I paired it with some Noah's blueberry cream cheese I had leftover, and that combo worked really well.  I'd definitely have another, if I had flavored cream cheese to go with.  Or perhaps butter and honey?

Since I liked this before, I tried another one on another occasion, when I had some leftover whipped raspberry vanilla cream cheese.  Again, it toasted up nicely, I loved the heartiness, and it made the very sweet decadent cream cheese feel almost healthy.  A nice combination.

Pumpernickel Bagel.

Classic pumpernickel rye bagel.  Like all the bagels, it had a nice shine on it, was fairly moist, toasted up nicely.  Good with cream cheese, smoked salmon, and accompaniments.

Previous notes:  I really love how their bagels toast up.  I feel like a broken record, but they get this amazing slight crust on them, yet stay perfectly fluffy inside.  The pumpernickel isn't my favorite flavor, it is a bit strong for me, but if you like pumpernickel, this is surely a winner.  Currently Ojan's favorite.

Sesame Bagel.

Another decent, although slightly boring, bagel.  Good chew, toasts nicely.

Previous reviews:  Solid bagel.  Soft, good chew, toasts up well.  Sesame seeds have good flavor and crunch. A fairly boring bagel variety, but well done.  Goes nicely with smoked salmon and herb cream cheese. [ I think this is my favorite.  Always soft, and toasts really nicely. Also good with blueberry cream cheese. ]

Poppy Seed Bagel.

Very decent!  Good chew, nice amount of poppy seeds.  Good with egg and cheese.

Everything Seed Bagel.

I think would have been good but I over-toasted it.  It had poppy seeds inside the bagel too, which was a fun touch, then poppy, sesame, onion?, garlic? on the outside.  I need to try again when I watch my toaster oven better!

Pumpkin Bagel (seasonal).

One time, I was faced with a large assortment of bagels.  I knew somewhere in the mix were pumpkin, but I wasn't quite sure which were the pumpkin bagels.  None were orange-ish.  This one was darker than the whole wheat, but lighter than the pumpernickel, so I couldn't figure out which kind it was, thus I guessed it was pumpkin.

The moment I smelt it, I knew I was correct.  The "pumpkin spice" aroma was strong.  Made with pumpkin puree and spices (nutmeg, clove, ginger, cinnamon).  Sadly, it smelt better than it tasted.  I didn't get any pumpkin flavor at all, just the spices, which were quite strong.  I wanted to taste pumpkin though, so this wasn't a winner for me.

Blueberry Bagel.

Blueberry is one flavor of bagel that I always think can sand on its own, with plain cream cheese, simple butter, or, as I often do, butter and sugar.

This was a fairly standard blueberry bagel.  It had a nice blue color, some pieces of blueberry throughout.  The bagel was like their others, decent chew, crust toasted nicely.  It didn't have a ton of flavor though, which left me a bit disappointed, as I do really love blueberry bagels!

I liked it best toasted with butter and sugar on top, but I wouldn't really pick this flavor again.

Cranberry Bagel (seasonal).

Another seasonal offering, cranberry.  Made with dried cranberries, but unlike the blueberry or cinnamon raisin, the dried fruit was not in bits, but rather was incorporated into the mix, making it a lovely pink color.  The cranberry flavor was decent, but I felt myself wishing for something more.  I think I also just wasn't in the mood for a bagel, at all.

On another day, I went for the cranberry again.  The color just drew me in.  Like all of their bagels, it toasted up just perfectly, but I didn't taste tons of cranberry, which was fine, because I had a lovely whipped berry cream cheese to pair with it.

Cinnamon Raisin.

Like the blueberry, this one surprised me in how much it disappointed, as I expected it to be one of the best. Didn't have good flavor, and wouldn't get again.

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Chile Pies (Sweet & Savory): The Savory

I've been to the various Chile Pies establishments a few different times, but somehow, the signature dessert pies have never really done it for me.  I swung in one hot afternoon, not to get pie, but instead intending to get ice cream, since they also offer Three Twins ice cream.  Imagine my surprise when I entered to find that the ice cream bar had been replaced by a mini tacqueria, offering tacos, enchiladas, chips and salsa ... certainly not ice cream.  I knew that Chile Pies is a sister establishment to Green Chile Kitchen, a regular Mexican restaurant, but I had no idea they had expanded into a tacqueria too (called, Green Chilette, how cute).

Anyway, rather than leaving empty handed, I decided to grab a savory hand pie to bring home for later.  Even though I hadn't liked the regular dessert pies, savory options are an entirely different thing, so I wanted to give them another chance.  They also had larger pot pies, but the cute little hand pies looked far more interesting.

Red Chile Con Carne Tamale Hand Pie.  $4.00.

Hand pies were available in 3 varieties: red chile with chicken, red chile con carne, or green chile with pork.  Since I dislike pork and chicken, there was only one option.

The hand pie didn't look great, as it was kinda falling apart and its insides were showing, even when I first received it.  I was asked if I wanted it warmed up, but since I was taking it home, I opted to heat it myself.

I tried one bite cold first, but that was clearly not how it was meant to be eaten, so I heated it up in my toaster oven.  As it warmed up, it fell apart even more.

The crust I really liked, it was a hearty cornmeal base, which I think is why they call it a "tamale hand pie".  Inside was beans, ground beef, and cheese, along with red chile sauce.  I dislike beans, so I really wished they weren't there, although Ojan liked them.  The ground beef was well spiced.  The cheese melted perfectly.  There was some sauce inside, with onions and chiles.

Nothing was wrong with this exactly, but I didn't really like it much, as it just isn't my style of food.  I'd want no beans, and some veggies instead, perhaps corn.  And, I'd want some sour cream or something on top.

If they made a vegetarian version I'd try it, but since I don't like chicken or pork, I don't see myself trying another one of these.  The $4 price was fine for the size.

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