Friday, July 21, 2017

Wise Popcorn

"It’s not a secret. Wise pops delicious popcorn in several mouthwatering flavors. It’s lightly air-popped and packed with whole grain, gluten free goodness that’s insanely delicious. So whether it’s movie night, a picnic or just an guilt-free afternoon snacking, there’s a flavor for everyone in the family."
Did you know Wise makes popcorn, in addition to their signature chips?  I didn't, until recently when I was at the grocery store and a bag caught my eye.  I blame this on shopping while hungry.

I'm an avid snacker, particular, when it comes to popcorn, so I was excited to try a new brand, even though I doubted it would be very good.

Wise popcorn comes in a bunch of not very exciting flavors (salt, butter, reduced fat butter, white cheddar, reduced fat white cheddar) and only two that sounded remotely interesting: hot cheese and Cinnabon.  I tried the later.  I don't recommend it.
Cinnabon Popcorn.
"The irresistible, world famous flavor of Cinnabon® Classic Cinnamon Rolls has made its way to our popcorn. Take a moment to enjoy the simple pleasure of this one-of-a-kind flavor – a delicious sweet escape!"

As you know, I love popcorn.  I also love baked goods, including cinnamon roll.  I don't necessarily love Cinnabon (although I'm not actually sure I've ever had it, to be honest), but, I was pretty excited to try this flavor, as I had been on a cinnamon-sugar popcorn kick prior to picking it up (which, is certainly why I decided to buy it in the first place).

I opened the bag and I smelt ... Cinnabon.  Very strong Cinnabon.  Not necessarily pleasant, but, not awful.

I tried a single kernel.  I was simultaneously revolted and intrigued by it.  I tried a few more pieces.  My reaction was no different.  I tried it by the handful, and then, I decided, it was nasty.

I liked the cinnamon, and the kernels were well coated.  But the "icing" taste was just ... wrong.  It was sweet and fake and just really, really gross.  But the cinnamon was good, and you could tell it was trying to taste like icing, and it was *almost* good.  It made me wish I had Cinnabon recently so I could compare the taste.  Maybe it was legit Cinnabon taste?

I started packing up the bag to put it in the freezer, to see if freezing it would improve things magically (since I love freezing my popcorn).  And somehow I found myself eating a bunch more.  And then I instantly regretted it.  My stomach actually felt like I'd eaten a huge Cinnabon, not just some popcorn.  While the coating wasn't exactly nutritionally clean, it wasn't awful (expected things like vegetable oil and butter, salt, and a pile of sugars: white sugar, brown sugar, dextrose, fructose, molasses powder, and a few fun extras of  corn maltodextrin and acacia gum).  A bag of this (which, was less than a gallon of popcorn), did rack up 750 calories, which I imagine is actually less than a full Cinnabon cinnamon roll.  I was confused by how sick it made me feel though.

I tried it frozen a few days later.  The smell was again amazing.  Cinnabon.  But the taste?  Again, revolting.

I shared it with my popcorn loving mom.  I think she almost gagged.  She thought it was even worse than I did.  I shared it with a Cinnabon loving friend.  I'm not sure he'll try anything I share again.  It was that bad.
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