The Painted Duck, Atlanta

I don't go bowling often (I think it had likely been ... 15? years since I last went bowling), but apparently when I do, I do it with style.

"The Painted Duck is a distinguished drinkery, duckpin bowling, and gaming parlour located in the Stockyards Atlanta development on the Westside."

During my recent business trip to Atlanta, one of our team bonding events was at The Painted Duck, a venue that amongst other things, included bowling.  It also had a fascinating food menu, and decent drink program.  I went as a big group, so we had a big group package, so I can't speak to the experience of going as an individual.  It worked well for a semi-social, semi-active, semi-interesting place with food, but I wouldn't say it was particularly great on any dimension, besides novelty.

Venue

If you needed to describe The Painted Duck simply, you'd say, it is "a bowling alley", but, that doesn't really sum it up at all, as they have much more than simply bowling.  From their own materials:

"Our interactive games include: 16 full service duckpin bowling lanes, 2 Belgian feather bowling lanes, 2 indoor horseshoe pits, Knuckleball, Toad in the Hole."

Yes, it is definitely different from most bowling alleys, in other ways too (besides the fact that it isn't filled with arcade games, and has duckpin, not regular 10 pin, bowling).  You don't visit a counter to get your shoes for example.  You fill out the card at your lane, with your shoe size and the name you want on the screen, and they deliver your shoes to you, and pre-set the lane with your names for you.  A bit more full service and upscale.

Entrance.

Arriving at the Painted Duck is part of the experience.

The entrance does not have the venue name, just, a duck, and a bright green door, that we knew to look for.

You go through the door, and then down a hallway, that leads to a bouncer.  Everyone must show ID, bags are searched or left with them.  Then you go down a steep stairwell with zero decoration or frills.  You are descending into a basement.  Another big door.  And then you reach the inside, a hidden world of adult games, a bar, and social spaces.

I somehow failed to get photos of the actual space, but it is fairly large, with a variety of game types all around (shuffleboard, horseshoes, etc), and reservable duck bowling lanes.  There is a large bar area.  There are private booths and semi private areas with bigger tables and tv screens for bigger groups.  We had a section of lanes, and some tables to set our feast on.  

Food & Drink

Since we were in a big group, we had a food package consisting of family style platters from all over the menu.  The menu is ... kinda all over the place, and not what you expect from bar / bowling alley food for the most part.  The execution was varied, with a few decent dishes, but mostly pretty lackluster.  

The service was mediocre.  The food seemed to arrive at pretty random times.  There were no serving utensils provided, even though clearly intended to be family style.  Staff didn't really seem to care where they put stuff, putting multiple of the same dish next to each other, rather than spreading out in our space.  We were provided only forks and plates, we had to ask for knives and spoons (the former to cut some items, the later to serve all the assorted sauces).  I'm not sure how they expected groups to just eat off these platters with no cutlery.

Drinks

Drinks we ordered directly from servers.  The drink lineup was decent, beer (bottled or draught), wines (bottle or glass), and cocktails.  I went with a cocktail that was delivered fairly quickly.

Cameron's Kick. $12.

"Irish Whiskey, Scotch, Orgeat, Lemon."

The cocktail list was fairly long, with some signature cocktails (like the fun frosty "duck l'orange" or others in tiki glasses), and a long lineup of classic cocktails. All were reasonably well priced.

I was drawn to this for the combo of whiskey and scotch.  It was a decent drink, not very sweet, not too strong in the lemon, fairly balanced, even if it looked a bit like a girly lemon drop.  Good to sip on, but I probably wouldn't get it again.  I would like something darker, a bit more booze forward.  ***.

Small Plates

The most extensive part of the menu is the Small Plates.  After all, many people are just snacking while they are there mostly enjoying games and/or drinking.  Options here are really all over the place: think fried chicken skins, loaded tots, beef jerky, but also ... garlic & herb crab claws? A whiskey glazed turkey leg?  Duck nuggets.  Yeah, what?

Our package included a few items from here, plus I ordered the tempura onion rings separately as I really wanted to try them, and another person in my group ordered the turkey leg, because, um, turkey leg at a bowling alley?  (Spoiler: the turkey leg was not really as expected.  No bone.  But they served it like it had a bone, it just ... didn't.  Like, they wrapped some in foil to give a handle-like, but there was no bone, and you had to knife and fork it).  Sadly we didn't get the crab claws or shrimp cocktail that I was also interested in.

Cheese Plate. $12.

"Sweetgrass Dairy Selection, Preserves, Crackers."

The first item to hit our table was the cheese & charcuterie plate.  I do not know what the cheeses were, nor the single meat.  Was it duck sausage?  Who knows.  I did snag the single digestive cracker, tried the preservers (waaaay too sweet), the brie (average), and the strawberries (flavorless).  

Duck Phat Fries / Bearnaise Mayo. $13.

Next up, giant bowls of fries.  The fries were reasonable fresh, hot, crisp.  But truly nothing otherwise interesting about them.  I didn't taste anything  particularly decadent about them or special from the duck  "phat".  The bearnaise mayo just tasted like regular mayo.  Highly average. **+.

Crispy Brussels Leaves / Lemon Aioli. $8.

Yeah yeah, crispy Brussels sprouts, as you see on menus ~everywhere these days in the winter (really, everywhere, doesn't matter the cuisine, they've got em!).  But these were actually done differently in that they truly were just the leaves.  No wedges or halves.  Which made for a really quite unique experience, they were just crispy flakes.  No caramelized exterior, juicy interior.  I think even those who dislike Brussels sprouts for #reasons might find these fine.  

Anyway, I really did enjoy these.  They were crispy, very well seasoned (yay salt!), and greasy but not in a bad way.  They went great with the dipping aioli (which was basically just sorta lemon flavored mayo, but, hey, I like creamy sauce).

Top 3 dishes we had, and I'd get these again.  ****.    

Tempura Onion Rings. $8.

The onion rings were not on our event menu, but they were the item I was most excited for, so I ordered a basket.  They came long after the rest of our food, when I, and everyone else, were far too stuffed to want more, but I still lunged at them the moment they hit the table.  The server even warned me to wait, they were too hot, fresh from fryer.

I did like them.  They were hot and fresh.  Super crispy.  Tempura indeed.  But certainly should have been better drained, they were fairly oily.  They had tons of tempura batter, far more batter than onion, which was kinda ok, the tempura was reasonably flavorful, although could have used a bit more seasoning.  The onion was moist and slimy in the right way.  I appreciated the different spin on onion rings, although I probably wouldn't get them again unless really craving them.  ***+.

They were served with ... ketchup.  I didn't like the ketchup with them at all.  Tempura and ketchup just don't go well.  But we had a table full of other sauces: hoisin, thousand island, lemon aioli, bearnaise mayo, fruity compote.  I tried dunking in every single sauce, and found the thousand island was by far the winner.  Tempura onion ring + thousand island was my favorite bite of the night, with that sauce, ****.

French Bread Pizza.  $12.

"Ciabatta, Pepperoni, Mozzarella, Provolone."

I did not try the pizza, called "French Bread" but specifying "Ciabatta" ... an Italian bread.  But anyway.  We had both cheese and pepperoni pizzas.  Cheese looked reasonably well melted?  But it pretty much looked like what a 10 year old makes for after school snack, and I wasn't inspired to try it.  I didn't hear anyone else mention it, and platters mostly went unfinished.

Dips

Dips!  Perfect party food.  The regular menu has 5 options, two of which were pretty appealing to me: a charred onion dip (with basic Ruffles chip, eh), and smoked salmon (with basic Ritz crackers).  Choice of dipping device aside, these sounded decent to me.  Alas, our group has a trio of other dips.

Chips & Dips: Spinach & Artichoke,
Salsa, Guacamole / Tortilla Chips.

Chips & dips!  But ... not the ones I really wanted.  Still, I tried.

I don't love spinach & artichoke dip, but I like it, and was happy enough to see that on our menu (although I would have preferred some of the other options).  But this was not good.  It was just slimy, lacked seasoning, and didn't taste like artichoke at all.  Just slimy spinach in some cream, which, can be good when properly prepared (<3 creamed spinach after all), but yeah, not this.  *.

I am not sure why I tried the salsa, but I did, and I didn't care for that either.  *.

Chips were thin, crispy, well salted, average.  ***.

Sandwiches / Sliders

For regular guests, The Painted Duck has a few "sandwich" like items: of course a burger, sausage, grilled chicken club, and brisket sando, along with pulled pork sliders.  Why was the pulled pork only available as sliders, while the rest were only full size?  Not sure.  All use unique breads, perhaps they couldn't find large format bread suitable for the pulled pork?  Our package came with a trio of sliders, two drawn from the regular menu that has them in full size sandwich form, and the aforementioned pulled pork.  All sliders came on the one kind of slider roll, rather than the curated breads the full size sandwiches use.

Sliders: pulled pork ($13), smoked beef brisket ($17),
grilled chicken club ($15).
(And more skewers, more pizza)

We had so many platters of sliders.  We barely made a dent in them.  I failed to get a photo of them originally, so apologies of the photo of just one table of mixed leftovers.  I eventually tried one out of curiosity.

Pulled Pork Sliders

"Crispy Onions, Pickles, King's Hawaiian Rolls (3)."

The pulled pork was not very good.  Not juicy, not in a tasty sauce, just kinda mushy shredded pork.  Meh.  The crispy onions were good.  *.

Smoked Beef Brisket

"Pickled Red Onions, Chili Mayo, Cilantro, Brioche Bun."

With our event format, these did not come on brioche buns, but instead, on the same Hawaiian rolls as the pulled pork.  People seemed to like these.  I did not try.

Grilled Chicken Club. 

"Bacon, Swiss, Romaine, Tomatoes, Avocado, Pesto Mayo, Pain de Mie Bun."

And more that just came on Hawaiian rolls instead of the buns they were supposed to come on.  No one touched these.  Not a one.  They looked pretty sad, just bare grilled chicken breasts.  

Quills - Skewers On The Barbie

Skewers seem to be a big attraction.  There were 7 kinds available: chicken, pork, beef, 3 kinds of seafood (ahi tuna, shrimp, lobster), and a token veggie skewer.  Again, menu kinda of all over the place, with ahi tuna, lobster, and Hawaiian pork & pineapple side by side on the menu with more traditional grilled proteins.  But hey, you could order lobster at the bowling alley?

Skewers are priced individually, although you must order at least 3 of a kind.

Our package included 3 kinds, sadly, not the lobster.

Sesame Shrimp ($6) / Peruvian Filet Mignon ($7)
/ Seasonal Garlic & Herb Vegetables ($3).

Sesame Shrimp

The shrimp was actually decent.  I didn't taste sesame at all, but, the shrimp were juicy, succulent, and had nice grilled marks.  They seemed to be marinated, or perhaps brushed with marinade after, so they weren't just simple grilled shrimp.  Reliable option I suspect if you want some protein.  ***+.

Seasonal Garlic & Herb Vegetables

I didn't try the veggies (tomato, squash, mushroom, bell pepper), and neither did anyone else.  Not even the vegetarians.  Not sure why, but no one was interested in these at all.

Peruvian Filet Mignon

The group did try some of the filet mignon, which was more cooked than people wanted of course (not mid-rare), but otherwise they seemed happy enough to have steak.  I eventually tried it myself, and was impressed.  It was tender, flavorful meat.  In the top 4 dishes we had.  ***+.

The center of the board was a bunch of potato sticks, which seemed awkward and entirely out of place.

The Painted Duck

The signature dish.  One that most people do not get, as it serves many.  And requires ordering in advance.  But here it is.  The namesake Painted Duck.

Whole Roasted Peking Duck.  $125.

"Peppered Bacon, Lettuce, Tomato, Grilled Onions, King's Hawaiian Rolls, Kitchen Requires 90 Minutes to Prepare."

Uh ... does this look like Peking duck to you?  Yeah, it did not to us either.  Yes, the menu *did* say King's Hawaiian Rolls, and lettuce, tomato, grilled onions, which perhaps should have been a sign, but I think we kinda glazed past that and just saw that it was going to be a whole Peking duck.  

So, ok, more of the same King's Hawaiian buns instead of bao or pancakes.  And there was some hoisin to go with the duck.  But no cucumber nor scallions.

But then there was the lettuce.  The tomato.  The grilled onions.  The pickled onions.  The bacon.  The ... thousand island dressing?

Such a board of confusion.  You could make a sorta Peking duck slider ... or a BLT.  Or some crazy hybrid of the two.  #confusion.

That said, there were some surprisingly great elements on here.  

The lettuce, baby gems, was really quite fresh and crisp.  After a menu of all fried things / carbs / heavy meats, it was nice to have refreshing greens.  And the sliced tomato?  REALLY good.  Flavorful.  Some of the best tomato I've had in months.  In January.  In a bowling alley.  In Atlanta.  On a Peking duck board.  Just go with it.  The thousand island style dressing was really quite good too, creamy, flavorful, and went beautifully with the lettuce and tomato.  I genuinely really enjoyed these elements, and happily took some leftover home.  ****.  

The peppered bacon was also a star, that was all the meat in the top right.  Various size strips and bits, mostly caramelized, very crispy, lots of pepper, just really tasty.  Quite memorable bacon, again, probably the best I've had in a while.  ****.

The caramelized onions were less good, nothing wrong with them really, but somehow not very flavorful, and the red onions were harsh and too pickled.  The hoisin was fairly generic, thick, very sweet.  ** for all of that.

And then the duck, which did include some bones with meat on them, and some shredded pieces.  It was fairly moist and tender.  But just felt out of place with the rest of what was on this board.  I didn't find any crispy skin pieces. ***.

A mixed bag of "ok", strangely great, and mostly confusing.  Still, the BLT wraps I was making were definitely top 4 of the night, ****.

Sweets

The regular Sweets lineup has 3 items: a ho-hum cheesecake, a decent looking lattice topped apple pie, and little S'mores pops that seem like crowd favorites.  If I was ordering, I certainly would have gone for the apple pie, but our group package had a different item, not from the regular menu.

Brownie Bites.

I did try one of the tiny brownie bites for completeness.  It was a dense generic brownie.  Not much more to say here.  **+.