Dinner on the Napa Valley Wine Train

Dinner.  On a train.  Gourmet dinner that is.  On a train ... through wine country, Napa Valley.

Yup, it is a thing, and, due to the generous gift of a friend who knew I had a fascination for "real trains" and fine dining, a thing I was able to experience.

It really was a wonderfully unique adventure, and I highly recommend for something just, well, different.

A lovely dinner ... on a train!

"Yes, the Napa Valley Wine Train is a luxurious journey. A one-of-a-kind adventure. But it is first and foremost a restaurant. Yellowfin tuna tartare. Pan-seared Pacific halibut. Roasted tenderloin of beef. Fresh local produce. Napa-style, multiple course gourmet meals. We take pride in the decadent quality of our cuisine. And the fact that it’s created onboard a moving antique train.

Our four onboard kitchens allow our chefs to create culinary works of art from scratch, made to order. Whatever dish you choose, luxurious ambiance is always served."

I'll admit, I didn't quite believe the marketing when I read about it.  Sure, reviews were quite good, but I thought it was likely a bit of a gimmick, a captive audience with no other dining option, and swayed by copious wine.  And this "luxurious journey" does not come cheap, tickets start at $225 each, for the ride and meal.  Wine is additional.

But ... well, it far exceeded my expectations.

The Experience - Gourmet Express Train

"A decadent journey aboard our elegant vintage train through the Napa Valley and back to another time: the glamorous days of rail travel. Embrace a slower pace and dine in sophisticated comfort. Choose lunch or dinner, enjoyed in two different types of stylishly refurbished antique Pullman rail cars, a dining car and a lounge car."

We opted for the dinner train, which had the following schedule:

5:30 PM - Check in
5:35 PM - Welcome speech
6:00 PM - Board the Train
6:30 PM - Train departs
9:30 PM - Train returns

The lunch train is a similar lineup, departing at 11:30am, and with a slightly longer route.

Within each trip, you can pick to be in the first or second seating.  The first seating begins in the dining room once underway, and starts with an appetizer and main dish in the dining car.  From there, for the return trip, you transition to a lounge car for dessert.  The second seating starts in the lounge car, and has their appetizer course there, before moving to dining car for main and dessert on the way back.  We opted for the first seating.

The Train!

"Stylishly refurbished antique Pullman rail cars."

The train itself was fairly impressive, very well appointment, and it truly did feel like I was stepping back in time, or at least, back in time based on my knowledge from movies.

Map of Journey.

"Originally a rail line built in 1864 to take visitors north to the resort town of Calistoga, the Wine Train is a three-hour, 36-mile round-trip journey from Downtown Napa to St. Helena and back. After boarding the train at the McKinstry Street Station, guests travel through the old industrial section of Napa, crossing the Rural Urban Limit Line (RUL) about ten minutes into the journey. Then it’s nothing but the spectacular scenery of beautiful wine country, the famed agricultural preserve of Napa Valley, past some of the most expensive and famous farm real estate in the country, and through the charming towns of Oak Knoll, Yountville, Oakville, and Rutherford."

Our journey was about 1.5 hours out, and then we turned around to come back.  Other versions of the trip make stops at wineries along the way.

Scenic Tracks.

The main reason most people are on the train is not the food.  It may be the wine, but really, it is for the scenic views.  I'm not really one to care about looking at scenery, but I'll admit, it really was lovely at times.  

Kitchen Area: Grills.

"California gourmet meals are crafted by our expert culinary team in one of three onboard kitchens. Located immediately next to each dining area, guests are encouraged to explore the Train and visit the kitchen cars and see our chefs in action."

I saw the marketing materials that talked about multiple onboard kitchens, and what I imagined was basically a catering setup, or something like an airline galley.  We were reminded several times that we were welcome to explore the hallways and view the kitchen cars, and, I was blown away by what I saw (my tour was after my meal, and it explained sooo much!).

These were not little makeshift kitchens.  No, these were full blown, well equipped, kitchens.  Several of them.  The grills were a constant hub of activity.

Kitchen Area: Stoves.

As were the stovetops.  And, everywhere really  The cooks were extremely busy, cranking out dishes for a whole train worth of people at once.

Bathroom.

The bathroom, like most of the train, was quite elegant.  I was expecting something more like a porta-potty or RV bathroom, or maybe an airplane bathroom, but really, this was outfitted like any small bathroom on the ground.

Part One: Dinner Service

As I mentioned, dinner is served in two waves in the dining car.  We opted for the first seating, so we started in the dining car, and moved to the lounge car later for dessert.  The second group switched with us at the midway point, and started in the lounge car for appetizers instead. 

Menu.

Dinner is a three course affair, choice of soup or salad to start, choice of main beef/chicken/pork/seafood/pasta /entree salad, the later two of which are vegetarian, and choice of two desserts.  They asked for food allergy/restriction details in advance when you make your booking, but also were quite easily able to make changes/substitutions the day of.

It was impressive that they had multiple vegetarian items and were as flexible as they were.  Again, not the catering style experience I was expecting.

Dining Car.

The dining car is filled with tables, basically all tables that can seat 4, although most had just a pair.  Couples could choose if they wanted to sit across from each other, or side by side to just look out the windows.  Every table was a window seat.

Tables.

The tables were perfect for looking at both your dining companion(s) and out the window, although there were parts of the meal where the glare was intense.

Dinner Menu.

Dinner is a 3 course meal.  We had a choice for each course.

First

• CHEF’S DAILY SOUP INSPIRATION
• SONOMA MIXED GREENS / sky hill farms goat cheese, shaved fennel, summer strawberries, toasted almonds, champagne-dijon vinaigrette

Main

• SLICED TENDERLOIN OF BEEF / point reyes blue cheese potato purée, forest mushrooms, asparagus, ruby port reduction.
• LEMON-THYME ROASTED CHICKEN / creamed summer corn, arugula, crispy quinoa,
• warm bacon vinaigrette.
• CITRUS & BLACK PEPPER-CURED PORK TENDERLOIN / white cheddar anson mills grits, rainbow chard, grilled spring onion, roasted peach bbq
• CATCH OF THE DAY
• KALE & FARRO SALAD / heirloom tomato, country olives, pole beans, basil, sky hill farms feta, preserved lemon vinaigrette.
• GEMELLI PASTA / saffron & summer squash purée, jubilee tomatoes, ricotta cheese, aged parmesan, squash blossom pesto.

Sweet

• PASTRY CHEF DAILY CREATION

Each dish had a suggested wine pairing, for an additional charge.  Wine is not included in your $225 ticket.

For our journey, the "Chef's Daily Soup Inspiration" was tomato soup, the "Catch of the Day" was salmon (as I think it nearly always is), and the "Pastry Chef Daily Creation" was a choice of a caramel panna cotta or a vanilla ricotta strawberry tart.

Our orders for all three courses were taken as soon as we were read.  I was also quite surprised, and pleased, at how well they took requests for modifications.  I was not expecting that level of service and customization on the train.  

Welcome Wines: Red and White.

Included in the ticket price is your first glass of generic wine, red or white.  Since my dining companion doesn't drink alcohol, I got to try both.  I don't recall either being all that interesting.

Most people upgraded to paid wine options quickly.

Cranberry Ginger Mocktail.

My companion asked about getting a non-alcoholic drink, and they had one mocktail for him to pick from.  It was fruity cranberry, but very sweet, and not really what he wanted.

Bread & Butter.

Everyone was brought their own individual bread and butter to start.

Starter: Sonoma Mixed Greens.

"Sky hill farms goat cheese, shaved fennel, summer strawberries, toasted almonds, champagne-dijon vinaigrette."

To start, my dining companion opted for the salad.

***+.

Starter: Sonoma Mixed Greens (Sub ricotta for goat cheese).

I also opted for salad.  As I loathe goat cheese, I asked if they could sub something else, and ricotta is what I received instead.  They were happy to accommodate.

Otherwise, same salad.  It was fine, and I appreciated that it was fairly interesting, with frisee and radicchio along with basic mixed greens, shaved fennel, and juicy ripe strawberries.  The nuts added a bit of crunch.  Meh to vinaigrette, but, that is just how I feel about vinaigrette  (And no, herbed ricotta doesn't work all that well on a salad).

***+.

Main: Sliced Tenderloin of Beef
(Sub creamed summer corn for forest mushrooms and potato purée).

"Point reyes blue cheese potato purée, forest mushrooms, asparagus, ruby port reduction."

For the main, my dining companion opted for the beef tenderloin, which came as a portion of two slices, both cooked medium.  It came nicely presented, really, better than I expected on a train (which made more sense when I saw their kitchen!).  I tried it: decently tender, decent quality beef, properly seasoned.

The dish normally came served over a point reyes blue cheese potato purée, and with sides of asparagus and mushrooms, but he asked to have the mushrooms replaced with creamed summer corn (from the chicken dish), because he doesn't eat mushrooms, and, uh, because I really wanted to try the creamed corn.

The kitchen unfortunately replaced both the potato purée and the mushrooms, which I'm sure made more sense from a plating perspective, but wasn't quite what he intended.  The result?  I got a full portion of creamed corn, and he missed out on his potatoes.  Oops.

The creamed corn was delicious, the highlight of the meal actually.  Creamy, slightly cheesy, nice texture from some chopped bits.  I was glad he basically let me have all of it.  I dragged it through the port reduction, which was fine but not interesting.

The asparagus was kinda eh, not particularly good, slightly undercooked.

Overall though, a nice looking plate, higher quality than you'd get a wedding reception.

***+.

Main: Catch of the Day ( BBQ Salmon)
(Sub white cheddar anson mills grits for roasted potatoes).

I went for the seafood choice, the catch of the day, which was salmon, and I think always is.  It was smothered in bbq sauce, which I didn't really care for with the salmon.  It was cooked nicely though.

It normally comes with roasted potatoes, but I asked for the grits from the pork tenderloin dish, and just like the other modifications we asked for, it was no problem.

The grits turned out to be a cake, not creamy grits as I was hoping for.  The vegetables of the day was a hearts of palm/tomato/caper salad and spinach, both pretty boring.

The beef was definitely a better dish.

***.

Part Two: Dessert

For dessert, our group moved to the Lounge car, to make way for the second dinner seating.  Those folks had previously been in the lounge car enjoying an appetizer round.

Lounge Car Entrance.

Each car is named after a grape, we were in the Cabernet Sauvignon car.

Lounge Car Chairs.

The lounge car was, well, very lounge-y, with comfortable padded chairs, mostly arranged so you could look out the windows.  It had an old school, elegant, vibe.

Dessert Lounge Seating.

Rather than full size, or even cocktail, tables, windows had a bar ledge where you could put drinks and food, again, mostly just to take full advantage of why you were on the train: the view.

Dessert Course.

My dining companion was full and didn't want dessert, so I got both options.  I was kinda excited, as I do love pudding, and panna cotta was one of the options.

To go with the dessert, I splurged and ordered a nicer wine from the wine list, for an additional fee.  It was actually really good, and completed my meal nicely.

Caramel Panna Cotta.

The panna cotta normally comes with chocolate ganache, but we asked to have it left off since both myself and my companion avoid caffeine at night.  Just as with our dinner modifications, this was no problem.  It also came with cocoa dusted almonds that weren't listed on the menu so we didn't know to ask for them left off (but, they were very tasty, and I totally broke my own rules to enjoy!), and deliciously boozy soaked cherries.

The panna cotta was fine, rather generic, but sweet from the caramel.  Well set.  I think the chocolate ganache would possibly help offset the sweet nature, but really, it called out for some whipped cream to me.  The aforementioned nuts were delicious but a bit out of place on here too.

The nuts on the side, and add some whip, and it could have been ****, but as is, ***.

Vanilla Ricotta Strawberry Tart.

The other option I also got, even though I wasn't really that excited about a tart, because my companion didn't want either, and I wanted to hedge my bets.  It was a shortbread tart crust, which was rather mediocre, as was the ricotta mousse.  The roasted strawberries were good, but there were only a few, and the vanilla sauce was way too minimal to be tasted.

Like the panna cotta, it also called out for whipped cream.  When I combined it with the panna cotta, it actually made for a decent dessert, full of complimentary textures and flavors, but, again, as served, ***.

Other

This was not part of my journey exactly, but, the train station where you check in has a little cafe, with wine by the glass, coffee, and a few baked goods.  Most of the baked goods were just packaged products, but they also had their home made coffee cake muffins.  The longer full day winery trips feature these as part of the breakfast spread served to begin those journeys.  Everyone *raves* about the amazing smoothie, frittata, and, in particular, coffee cake muffin they are served.   I recognized them immediately from all my research.

Cinnamon Sour Cream Coffee Cake Muffin. $3.75,

I asked the cafe if the coffee cakes were good, and the person taking my order perked right up.  "Oh, they are amazing. We bake them here, they are very, very, very good."

I was sold.  Since my hotel was literally next door, I went back the next morning for one.

And indeed, everyone was right.  This was amazing coffee cake.  Or, cake really.  It was far too sweet and buttery to be a "breakfast" item, but it was a fantastic item.

****+.

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Fortnum & Mason

Afternoon tea.  Biscuits.  Wicker hampers.  These are the things that Fortnum & Mason are known for ... at least, to those who live in England, or, perhaps have a friend who does.

Broucher.

"First founded in London’s Piccadilly in 1707, we are proud to have remained an essential destination for anyone in search of extraordinary food, exceptional service and joy-giving things ever since. Everyone remembers their first encounter with us, and no wonder – over our centuries of history, we have been committed to delivering a sense of pleasure to anyone who walks through our doors."

I'll be honest - I had never heard of Fortnum & Mason when one of their aforementioned wicker hampers showed up on my doorstep, a (VERY) generous Christmas gift from a friend, who had lived in London for a while.  It was loaded with goodies, mostly classic English products, many of which I'll admit I was unfamiliar with.  But this is very much Fortnum & Mason's thing, wicker gift hampers, you send to your friends (unless you live in the UK, where you can visit their stores in person, attend high tea, etc).  It promised, and delivered, joy.

I didn't read up on the company history that much, but, wow, around since 1707?  Clearly, an institution there, even if I hadn't heard of it.

Christmas Provisions Hamper: Conents.

"From little to large, food hampers to picnic baskets, gourmet food boxes to gift hampers, our handwoven wickers come in all shapes and sizes - and for all manner of occasions too. Whether a birthday, retirement, new house, new job, new beginning or new arrival, send a hamper packed full of extraordinary things to eat, drink and enjoy."

Our hamper was large, and filled to the brim, with condiments, confections, desserts, coffee and tea.  I couldn't wait to dive in.

Christmas Provisions Hamper: Guide.

It came with a guide describing what was inside, along with guidance on how to best serve each item - the Christmas Shimmering Strawberry Preserve and Buck's Fizz Orange Marmalade should go on my hot-buttered toast Christmas morning or my Boxing Day leftover cold meats.  Speaking of Boxing Day, the including Boxing Day Pickle is to be used as garnish alongside my turkey, ham, or beef.  And they are sure to clarify that the Sparkling Spiced Rum Butter is "essential" to pairing with the St. James Christmas Pudding.

Since I wasn't entirely familiar with some of this, I appreciated the (opinionated!) guide.

Confections / Snacks

I started with all the confections, of which our hamper had several.  They were all fine, but not remarkable in any way.

Reindeer Bites

First up, the beautiful looking "Reindeer Bites".

They were ... fine.  Thick white chocolate shell, smooth enough slightly minty white chocolate ganache inside.

I wanted more mint flavor, and a smoother filling though.

***.

Cocoa Dusted Milk Chocolate Almonds.

"As tempting from the outside as they are inside, these traditional confections are as welcome a gift as they are an after dinner treat. Milk chocolate and almonds have also been happy partners, and our delicious milk chocolate almonds are finished with a dusting of exquisite cocoa to elevate the flavour and experience even further. Made from the finest ingredients, these chocolate-covered almonds are an irresistible treat for all to enjoy."

Next, a little tin of cocoa dusted and milk chocolate coated almonds.

These were ok.  Absolutely not distinct in any way.  No different from any other brand almond coated in milk chocolate and cocoa.

The almond was crunchy, a bit too roasted for my taste though, it made the almond flavor very pronounced and fairly bitter.  The chocolate was soft and decent enough quality, but certainly not remarkable.

There isn't much more to say about them.  Highly average.

***.

Dark Chocolate Coated Ginger.

"As tempting from the outside as they are inside, these traditional confections are as welcome a gift as they are an after dinner treat. The warming and spicy bite of ginger is complemented by bitter, velvety dark chocolate – creating a delectable treat that’s difficult to put down."

Next, another tin, this with dark chocolate ginger.

These were more interesting than the chocolate covered almonds.

The dark chocolate was a richer flavor than the simple milk chocolate on the almonds, but it also was really sweet.  Strangely sweet.

The good sized ginger chunk inside packed a bit of a bite.  But still ... not much different from any other brand of similar item, and again, not distinctive in any way.

***.

Christmas Stuffing Nuts.

"The most wonderful nut of this festive season. Combining the classic flavours of sage and onion stuffing over a simply delicious selection of nuts. Fortnum's Christmas Stuffing Nuts are just like Christmas in a jar."

Next, something savory: "Christmas Stuffing Nuts".

Ok, these were awesome.  I also thought the packaging was unique, a sealable glass jar with a rubber seal and old school hinge.  I was glad to add it to my pile of fun jars once it was empty.

But the nuts.  Inside the jar was mixed nuts (almonds, cashews, brazil nuts, pistachios), with a fascinating "stuffing" coating.

Christmas Stuffing Nuts: Close Up.

The distribution of nuts was more strongly in the almonds direction than anything else, which was a bit regrettable, as the nuts I was most excited about were brazil nuts and cashews.  But all were well coated and seasoned.

The coating is made with a bunch of herbs (sage, rosemary), plus requisite stuffing ingredients like onion, garlic, and, to make it festive, dried cranberries.  The coating was delicious, it really was stuffing-esque.  Not necessarily what I think of putting on nuts, but it made them a fun savory snack (although they do have sugar in the coating too), and I could instantly imagine a slew of applications for them besides just finger food snacks.  Chopped up on top of mashed butternut squash?  Chopped and added to actual stuffing?  So many possibilities.  I loved the bits of fried, dried onion that I sometimes found too.

Which nut I was most into changed nearly every time I had a handful.  Many days it was the cashews.  Strangely, it was never the brazil nuts, the ones I expected to like the most.  Oh, and the funniest part?  More times than not, the almonds, the ones I was feeling so "eh" over, ended up my favorite, as the seasonings were the perfect match for the almond flavor.  The only ones I never really wanted were the pistachios.

There were even days when I liked the dried cranberries, again, the flavors just worked, and even though I'm not a dried cranberry fan in general, here, yup, I wanted them.

Overall, really a fun, unique, tasty product.

****+.

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Pistachio Turkish Delight.

"Fortnum’s exquisite Turkish Delight has been made in Istanbul by the same family-owned firm of artisans for 20 years. 

Crafted from an exclusive, traditional recipe, our firm, fragrant Turkish Delight is flavoured with nutty pistachio and lavishly powdered with icing sugar."

Finally, turkish delight, which I wasn't really excited for in any way.

But ... these were the exception to every other Turkish delight I've ever encountered.  They weren't awful!  They didn't let me down!

Another person I shared them with agreed.

Soft, nice chew, lovely pistachio flavor.  Best turkish delight I've ever had.

****.

Baked Goods

Next up was the baked goods.  These were all very, very British.

Christmas Cranberry & Cognac Fruit Cake.

"It’s no surprise our Fruit Cakes - from our delicious Dundee Cakes to the decorated marzipan kind - have stood the test of Christmastime. All satisfyingly rich and filled with luscious fruits, this Christmas favourite mustn’t be missed from your feasting table."

Yes, Fortum & Mason makes an assortment of fruitcakes.  And I had one.

I'll admit it now.  When I tried this, I had previously only had fruitcake once in my life, at the Sheraton on the Park in Sydney, when they served it in the Executive Lounge during the holidays.  I am not anti-fruitcake exactly, just, mostly unfamiliar.

The Cranberry & Cognac seemed to be the fanciest though, not only because of the cognac, but also, the extensive toppings.

It came beautifully packaged.

Fruit Cake: Unpackaged.

"True to hearty, heady Christmas traditions, this handmade Cranberry & Cognac Fruit Cake will truly elevate your festive feast."

I broke into it to reveal the block of fruitcake.

I'll be honest, I wasn't sure where to go from here.  Did I slice it? Warm it? Top it with something?

Was it breakfast? Dessert?

I turned to the internet for answers.

It seemed clear that everyone has unique theories on what you should do with fruitcake, how to consume it, and when.

Simply sliced, room temp, with tea for afternoon treat was most common.  With vanilla ice cream or clotted cream certainly seemed more appealing to me, which some do recommend.  Others still mention serving it with a slice of nice cheddar, which reminded me of Fergus Henderson's famous Eccles cake from St. John (which I've had before in London!), or, closer to home, my family's way of serving apple pie with a slice.

So I tried it many ways.  I had a whole 1200+ calorie fruitcake to consume myself, after all!

Fruit Cake: Inside.

First, I just sliced off a piece, which gave me a great glimpse into what it was made of.

The mix of fruit was raisins, currants, cranberries, glacé cherries, and figs, plus a little bit of candied citrus peel.  Also in the mix of course was the cake base (flour, butter, sugar, egg), but it was minimal compared to the fruit components.  Oh, and of course, cognac.

And then the topping: more glacé cherries, both red and green (so festive!), and nuts (pecans, hazelnuts, almonds), and sweet apricot glaze.

I tried it.  It was sweet.  Very, very sweet.  I expected a dessert item of course, and knew it had candied fruit, but, wow, sweet.

Basically, a moist, dense cake, mostly made from very sweet dried fruit.  Not just dried fruit though, clearly, sweetened, and infused from the soaking, dried fruit.  Unlike most dried fruit, it was quite soft, not chewy.

I'm not sure why it was called "Cranberry & Cognac" fruit cake though, as the cranberry was not the dominant fruit.  The cognac though was clearly essential to the recipe.

Fruitcake with Gouda.

It was clear to me that it was really too sweet to just eat on its own in a large slice.  I needed to temper it somehow.  Normally I go for whipped cream or ice cream with my sweet desserts, but this was just so sweet already that the idea of savory cheese sounded much better.

I didn't have any cheddar though, so I made due with gouda.

It ... kinda worked, but I really needed a sharper, aged cheese.  A serious cheddar would have done miracles.

Fruitcake with Whipped Cream.

Next I tried whipped cream, as I didn't have clotted cream.

It did help, but, since my whipped cream (just from a can) was sweetened, it was still just a bit too sweet overall.

Next up, I heated it, and paired with ice cream, but since I like ice cream paired with hot desserts, but that still wasn't quite it for me.

The best version, which I finally discovered, was paired with some very slightly sweetened whipped creme fraiche.  The tangy, not sweet, nature helped compliment the crazy sweet fruitcake.

Let's just say ... I think fruitcake has a reputation for a reason.  I finished it, but, it took some effort to really enjoy.  Acquired taste?

***.

St James Christmas Pudding.

"Handmade at every stage, our St James Christmas Pudding is filled with delicious dried fruits and a well-judged quantity of Pusser's Full-Strength Navy Rum alongside Fortnum's Cognac. Pair with our rich Cognac Butter for added spicy aromas and a delicious, boozy kick."

"This light and elegant Fortnum's St James Christmas Pudding contains the finest dried fruits – Vostizza currants, Californian raisins and Turkish sultanas – as well as a well-judged quantity of Pusser’s Full-Strength Navy Rum and Fortnum’s own cognac, which is softer on the palate than ordinary cooking brandy. A small team of experienced cooks complete every stage by hand, from buttering the bowls to tying on the muslin lids, and the puddings are carefully matured so that they are as good as homemade. Made with vegetable suet in place of the traditional beef suet, this will please even those who aren’t wild about Christmas pudding."

Next up, another holiday "favorite", like fruit cake, certainly an acquired taste: traditional steamed boozy pudding, the St. James's pudding.  Made from a similar base of dried fruits like the fruit cake (raisins, sultanas, currants) this time, and citrus (lemon zest, orange juice, candied orange and lemon peel), and booze (rum and cognac), but a very different product, no sweet glace cherries, no nuts, and a different style of sweetness, very heavy on the sugar, treacle, and molasses.

While you *could* microwave it, instructions were pretty clear that you should steam it, for a full hour and 15 minutes.  It wasn't hard, but it took time.

While it looked petite, and I wondered about the stated 6 servings, it turns out, much like the fruit cake, just a little of this went a long way.  So sweet, so dense.  

It was ... ok.  I wished I had the cognac butter to pair with (I had already used it), but set about trying a few things: butter (yup, definitely good to soak in and give more richness), Cool Whip (hey it was on hand), which actually worked ok, and ice cream.  Amusingly, a mix of butter and cool whip worked best.

Anyway, it was fine.  Very very heavy in the dried fruits, and just like the fruitcake, something you need to be in the mood for.

***.

Christmas Classic Biscuit Selection.

"A collection of every biscuit from our ‘Tall Tin’ biscuit range, this delightful assortment includes buttery Rose, delicate Violet, decadent Chocolate & Macadamia, festive Walnut, Apricot & Orange and fiery Lucifer’s Biscuits. The perfect assortment of biscuits for an afternoon of dunking this festive season."

Our hamper also had a tin of assorted cookies.  Er, biscuits that is.

I had a hard time figuring out what each of the biscuits was.  Partially because the first one I picked up looked like it had pistachios in it.  I looked at the list of cookies in the tin:

• Chocolate & Macadamia Nut
• Rose
• Violet
• Lucifer (Ginger & Chilli)
• Walnut
• Apricot & Orange (also known as "Christmas Teatime Biscuits").

None of these sounded like pistachio.  Literally, the only one I could identify was the chocolate & macadamia nut.  I could kinda guess the rose and violet.  But after that?  Confusion, as I saw pistachios, I saw raisins.  I still think the tin just had invalid information on it.

Anyway, Fortnum & Mason makes an insane number of biscuits, mostly little tea cookies like these, some more shortbread style, others more like florentines, but mostly, just little cookies designed to go along with tea.  I was amused by some of the names though:  Cornish Fairings, Lancashire Flips & Yorkshire Parkin.  Uh, wat?

I'm not a cookie girl, but I tried all 6 varieties.  I liked them, strangely.

Christmas Teatime Shortbread (Apricot & Walnut).

"Evoking memories of Christmas past, our Apricot & Walnut biscuit tin is a festive celebration, beautifully complementing our famous teas. Sweet with a hint of tart, and ever so comforting, the biscuits are lifted with the zing of orange and finished with a touch of cinnamon to give it that warming note."

It took me forever to figure out which kind of biscuit this was.  It was the first I tried.  And I kinda liked it.

A shortbread for sure, buttery, sweet.  Inside was little bits of fruit, chewy bits, dried, I think raisins and apricots? (Answer: apricots).  And then crunchy nuts.  Perhaps pecans? Walnuts? (Answer: walnuts).  I really couldn't tell.

By my third cookie, I finally figured out these were the "Apricot & Walnut" cookies, with dark colored Turkish apricots (that is what was throwing me off!), also sold as "Christmas Teatime" biscuits.

I liked it though.  A good shortbread, lots of texture, nice sweetness level.  Perfect alongside a cuppa (coffee, in my case).  My favorite of the 6.

****.

Chocolate & Macadamia Nut Biscuit.

"This best-selling biscuit has attracted quite a following in Fortnum's Food Halls. Intensely chocolatey without being overly rich, each biscuit is made with gently crushed macadamia nuts, plenty of butter and very good chocolate. Crunchy, nutty, buttery and chocolatey - no wonder it has such a loyal fan club."

Next, the chocolate one.

Chocolate shortbread base, good crumble, buttery.  Studded with mini chocolate chips for extra chocolate goodness, and macadamias for some crunch.

Another one I actually liked ... for a little crumbly shortbread cookie.  My second favorite, and just barely in second place.

****.

Lucifer's Biscuit (Ginger & Chilli).

"This surprising biscuit does many things that a biscuit shouldn't - but it's been a huge success among our customers. Each buttery biscuit is made with fresh ginger and just the right amount of chilli; as you munch, the heat builds up slowly and finishes with a warm and well-judged chilli kick. Infernally tempting, it's the biscuit that bites back."

This was a fascinating biscuit.  A slightly softer style, darker color.  The buttery, sweet shortbread didn't come out as strongly, since there were so many other elements.

The first thing I tasted was ginger.  A really nice ginger base.  If you like gingersnaps, this is for you.  It did also have a tiny bit of heat, adding a complexity I've never had paired before with gingersnap.  A slightly fire-y gingersnap.

If this sounds like something you'd like, then, go for it.  For me it was fascinating, but, I'm not that excited about gingersnaps.  Others enjoyed them.  My 4th pick, because it was interesting at least.

***.

Violet Biscuit.

"There is no end to the biscuits that we like to invent, and this particular example is a true original. The crisp butter biscuits are subtly flavoured with French crystallised violets for a gently aromatic taste."

I was feeling pretty optimistic about the biscuits by the time I tried this one, studded with little bits of purple.

But, um, wow.  Yes, I was eating flowers.  This was way too floral for me.

The base was good buttery shortbread, and I liked the bits of almond for crunch, but, gah. Flowers.  I didn't finish it.  Least favorite, no question.  "It is like eating perfume, said another."

**.

Rose Biscuit.

"This sweet, buttery biscuit is studded with almonds and scattered with French crystallised rose petals, which give a very delicate rose flavour that never overpowers. Sophisticated yet crunchy, these biscuits make an elegant addition to afternoon tea."

After the violet one, I was a bit scared by the rose.  Same exact recipe, with almond bits, buttery shortbread base, and this time, "rose fragments".

It was much better, entirely different really.  The rose wasn't nearly as floral or dominant, although it was clearly still there.  It was also very, very sweet.  Rosewater is used for many desserts for a reason.  Think ... a hybrid between an Indian/Persian dessert and an English shortbread.

Overall, this wasn't one I loved, too sweet for me really, my 5th pick overall, and not one I really wanted more of (although I was happy to finish the one I had), but others enjoyed these quite a bit.

**+.

Walnut? Pistachio?

"These crisp, light and buttery biscuits are rich in the finest English clotted cream. Added to the mix are chunks of pistachio, producing an extremely moreish nuttiness and crunch."

And finally, the ... pistachio.  I'm sorry, these were not walnut. They were clearly pistachio.  I think my tin was mislabelled.

A simple, sugar butter shortbread, with bits of nuts.  Fine, tasty, but I liked the one that had bits of fruit in it slightly more, making it my third pick.  Very solid classic shortbread.

***.

Condiments

And lastly, our hamper had some spreads to enjoy with our morning toast, all very festive in nature.  These were all winners.

Christmas Sparkling Spiced Rum Butter.

"Fortnum's Sparkling Spiced Rum Butter is the ultimate accompaniment to mince pies or Christmas pudding. Gently spiced with cinnamon and nutmeg and swirled with edible glitter, this is decadence at its most delicious. "

Hold the presses.  And go get this.

This was crazy delicious.  Available *only* as part of hampers, so, if you are hoping to get just it, sorry, no luck.

One tiny taste and I was hooked.  I didn't need a mince pie, Christmas pudding, nor fruitcake to go with it.  I was happy to just lick this from a knife (I mean, what, I didn't do that).  It was great even just on toast or a bagel too.  So boozy, so very boozy.  Kinda sweet.  Slightly spiced.  Great texture, slightly thick, spreadable, and melted in beautifully to any warm item I put it on.  The sparkle wasn't really noticeable, but yes, it has edible glitter in it.

I did eventually have it with a Christmas pudding (although not their brand, it was a Waitrose Remy Martin aged Christmas pudding, and, although the rum of course accented the cognac, it wasn't really how I preferred to eat this).

Butter + sugar + rum + spices + uh, edible glitter is as awesome as you'd expect it to be.

****+.

Bucks Fizz Marmalade
with edible glitter. Medium Cut.

"A fizzy, festive twist for Christmas breakfast."

"Open the ultimate breakfast marmalade, bold and balanced with complex citrus flavours and Marc de Champagne. Glittering with edible silver sparkles, this is a festive treat worth"

Have you ever thought, "gee, you know what my marmalade needs?  It needs glitter!"  No?  Yeah, me either, but Fortnum & Mason set out to solve a need we never knew we had with the the Buck's Fizz Marmalade.

Buck's Fizz Marmalade: Side View.

"Our Bucks Fizz Marmalade is lovingly made in Oxfordshire with Seville oranges, prosecco and a dash of Marc de Champagne. Each jar is speckled with gold sparkles and contains a lightly crystallised slice of fresh orange."

The marmalade starts out as classic orange marmalade, with large, fairly stunning, pieces of orange, zest and all.  Even in the jar, it is a stunner.

The flavor is of course citrusy and tangy, as any marmalade should be.  Both brown and white sugar balance it out, turning it into a sweet spread, but it still retains quite a bit of zing.  I can't say I tasted the prosecco or marc de champagne, but they must have added ... something? 

And ... the glitter?  Well, it made the jar sparkle, for sure, but I found that once it was spread onto anything, it was quickly lost.  Fun, still lovely to present this way, but not actually useful in practice.

Overall, a fine marmalade, and a lovely looking item to give as a gift.

***+.

[ No Photo ]

Strawberry & Fortnum’s Champagne Preserve

"This favourite among English jams uses two types of strawberry: sweet and juicy Cambridge Favourite and little Tiega strawberries from Turkey.  To add more flavour and sparkle, we stir in a modest helping of Fortnum's champagne and Marc de Champagne."

"Packed with sweet and juicy Cambridge Favourite strawberries, miniature Tiega strawberries from Turkey, and a helping of both Fortnum’s champagne and Marc de Champagne - a similar drink to Grappa, made from the grape reminace, stems, skins and pits from the Champagne making process."

The sparkly marmalade had a friend in the strawberry preserve, another shimmering spread.  I didn't really taste champagne in it, but, it was good strawberry jam, er, preserve.  Better than average, and yes, it had glitter ... that you couldn't really see when it was spread on toast.

***+.

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O & H Danish Bakery

What is a kringle?  If you are from Wisconsin, you likely know the answer, as, well, it is your state pastry after all (side bar: What? States have official pastries? I had no idea!).  

It is a Scandinavian pastry in origin, a danish in fact, except a huge one, oval ring shaped, usually filled with some kind of filling, frequently iced.  Racline, WI is the largest center of production, and standard kringles there are 14 inches by 10 inches ... and weigh about 1.5 pounds, to give you a sense of what I mean.  Not individual sized pastries as most of us think of when we hear the word "danish".

I've had a few different kringles over the years, as my aunt used to send a Christmas gift to my parents of one of those mail order companies (Wolferman's), usually with some kringles, cinnamon rolls, and english muffins inside.  I liked some of them, as, well, I do love many desserts, (or really, desserts masquerading as breakfast pastries), but I never sought out kringles on my own.

That is, I never sought out kringles until I became a Trader Joe's fanboy (gal?).  Trader Joes always carries one kind of kringle, the flavor changes ever other month or so, and they come from one of the most famous kringle bakeries in the aforementioned Racline epicenter: O & H Danish bakery.  This is one item that Trader Joe's doesn't remove the branding from, they proudly let you know where these come from.  You can also order directly from O&H nationwide of course, but they cost significantly more (literally, $22.49 + shipping from O&H directly, $54.95 for a 2-pack from Goldbelly, and ... $7.99 at Trader Joes.  Same exact product).  If you look at any Trader Joe's fan's Instagrams/chats/blogs/etc, you'll see a slew of posts about the beloved kringle (which, of course, everyone has their favorite flavor).  But one thing is consistent: everyone loves kringle from O&H.

I obviously had to try them.

O&H does make a number of other products besides just the kringle, and does have retail bakery locations in WI, but my experience is of kringle only, third party only.  O&H makes 18 varieties of kringle (only 5 of which Trader Joe's carries).  For nutty options, there is almond (super highly rated, TJ carries this one usually in November/Dec), almond macaron, and pecan (Jan/Feb/March for TJ), and then apple, wild blueberry, cherry, cherry cheese, raspberry (April/May at TJ), "Wisconsin" (cherry-cranberry-cream cheese) for fruity, and birthday, cinnamon roll, cream cheesecake (TJ, June/July), and turtle (caramel-chocolate-pecan) for super sweet, and harvest (apple-toffee-cinnamon) and pumpkin caramel for seasonal (Sept/Oct TJ).  Oh, and seasonal "Viking Toast", a September offering, with maple cinnamon cream cheese filling sorta like french toast, and bourbon vanilla icing and cinnamon sugar, honoring the Vikings exploring Paris (yeah, I have no idea ...).   So. Many. Choices.

Kringle Packaging.

Kringles come in wax bags, with the giant pastry rings inside, not actually sealed tight.  They have only a few day shelf life at ambient, but ship frozen, and the packaging tells you right on it that they (re)freeze well (I can confirm, they do, indeed).

The instructions on how to serve made me giggle a bit:

"Kringle is best served at room temperature or warmed in the oven. Remove the Kringle from the wax bag, remove plastic sheet and remove from plastic tray. If a warm Kringle is desired, place in a 350 degree oven for 3 1/2 minutes. Kringle can also be warmed in a microwave. When ready to serve, cut Kringle into 1 or 2 inch slices. Then watch for approving looks and gestures. For storage, Kringle freezes well. To thaw, let stand for 6 hours in room temperature or 12 hours in a refrigerator."

I don't disagree with anything they say.  And quite appreciate that they encourage freezing. 

I did not think any of the kringle flavors I tried shone at room temperature, and definitely encourage warming up as they suggest.

Cheesecake / Cream Cheesecake Kringle.

"Our rich, silky smooth Cream Cheesecake Kringle becomes more and more popular every year. It probably has to do with the fact that this uses only the best 100% Wisconsin Cream Cheese as the main ingredient. Pour some coffee, pull up a chair, and enjoy this classic Wisconsin treat."

The first kringle I tried was the cheesecake kringle.  Or, "Cream Cheesecake", depending which label you read.

Here you can see how they arrive inside the wax bag, with plastic protecting the icing/glaze, on a cardboard to keep it stable.

I eagerly sliced off my first chunk, not being willing to wait to heat it it up, at least, initially.

It was ... underwhelming.  The pastry was kinda soft, the exterior not crisp, no flaky nature to it, not buttery ... um ... it seemed like a very generic low end coffee shop danish.  I gulped.   Why did people go nuts for these?  The icing was nice at least?

I glanced the the ingredient label, and gulped again.  This is not a wholesome product.  Yes, cream cheese of course since it was cheesecake flavor, but then all the sugars - granulated sugar, confectioner's sugar, fondant (just sugar and corn syrup), and sugared egg yolks, and then the butters, both butter margarine blend and margarine, and a whole lot of gums and preservatives.

I put my slice into the now preheated toaster oven, and let it warm for a few minutes as advised.  It was *dramatically* better warm.  The pastry got the flaky exterior I was hoping for, it seemed more layered, and although it didn't get buttery instantly, it definitely had a different kind of richness about it.

Cheesecake Kringle (cross section).

And inside, the cheesecake filling.  A fairly thin layer, but with the pastry and the icing, it was plenty.  A small slice of this was considerably richer than you'd expect.

At room temperature, the filling was thick, and dense, and not particularly cream cheese forward, and not really that pleasing.  No complexity.  Not bad, but definitely not great.  

Like the pastry itself though, it was dramatically better warm.  The filling was softer, smoother, and actually enjoyable, although it never really screamed out "cheesecake" to me, just, creamy deliciousness.

I enjoyed my first hunk warm as is, but I also enjoyed it warmed up and paired with ice cream (now *that* really transformed the eating experience of it), but, the ice cream actually wasn't necessary - this pastry is rich enough, the filling generous enough, the icing sweet enough ... it really is "complete" as is, and even I didn't find the need to jazz it up.  It does pair nicely with sliced strawberries or raspberries if you really want to balance the sweet a bit.

I quickly packaged up and froze about 2/3 of the kringle, in individual slices, knowing that I alone could not take down the whole thing in just a few days.  Or, um, I shouldn't at least.  Those frozen slices brought me great joy throughout the winter - so easy to just pop in my countertop oven and have an excellent pastry, whenever I wanted, and also, kinda good frozen.

***+, and I'd get this again.

Seasonal Pumpkin Caramel Kringle.

"Our Pumpkin Caramel Kringle is a favorite seasonal flavor. This delicious blend of pumpkin, spices, and caramel, with pecans on top make this Kringle unforgettable. Fall's bounty is truly delicious!"

I picked the seasonal pumpkin kringle up the first week the fall products hit Trader Joe's in full force, and was rather thrilled to snag, literally, the second to last one.  People adore this thing, and I was so eager to try it, as I adore pastries, sweet glaze on donuts, and pumpkin pie.  This would be a combo of all that, right?

I failed to realize however that even though the package says "Pumpkin" and everyone refers to it as "The Pumpkin Kringle", it is ... Pumpkin Caramel.  There is a very real difference here, not that I'm against caramel, I generally like it, but, at least in this case, it is where things went astray.

But let's get back to the basics.

It did look kinda amazing actually, with a brown colored glaze (unlike others with white glaze), which made me expect some kind of maple flavor.  Of course, that is before I realized the whole "caramel" thing.  And I loved the fact that it had chopped pecans on top, I adore pecans, and pecan pie and pumpkin pie are my two holiday favorites.  

I tried a chunk at room temperature, so excited, and was met with a big case of "meh".  Like the cheesecake version, the pastry really just was blah at room temperature: not flaky, not buttery, seemingly not very layered.  

And, um, wow, it was sooooo sweet.  And, sweet in a cloying way, which was ... their spin on caramel, clearly.  I love iced products, but this icing really was pushing it way over the top with sweetness, and I believe the filling was very sweetened as well.  The ingredient list includes brown sugar, powdered sugar, granulated sugar, fondant (just sugar and corn syrup combined), sugared egg yolks, dextrose, and molasses.  So all the ones from the cheesecake version, plus brown sugar, dextrose, and molasses.  Doh. #allTheSweeteners.  This seemed ... complicated, and unnecessary, but, anyway.

I still had some hope, as the cheesecake kringle was so much better warmed up.  So into the toaster oven, 350*, just a few minutes.

Seasonal Pumpkin Caramel Kringle: Cross Section.

It did toast up nicely, and like the cheesecake kringle, the pastry was dramatically better warmed up - a bit crisp and flaky on the exterior, moist and layered, buttery.  It is shocking to me how much the pastry changes with light warming.

The filling is very generous, the ratio of pumpkin filling to pastry just right. The filling is decently creamy, does taste like pumpkin, and there is some standard pumpkin spicing (cinamon, allspice, ginger), although the spicing is very mild, or perhaps just masked by sweetness.

And then, the sweetness.  Just, cloying to me.  The entire thing just came across as far, far, far too sweet.  I tried to tone it down by pairing with whipped cream, and ice cream, but the sweetness just never was something I could overcome.

Not a hit, sadly.

**+.

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Bhimas Warung, Waterloo

Yup, yup, another business trip.  Another absolutely packed itinerary of mostly work, which included some local dining.  And yup, another set of notes meticulously taken, ambitious plans of writing up my review as soon as I had a free moment, and ... trip over, time elapsed, notes lost.  Sigh.

This trip was to a slightly less exciting place than many of my travels, it was to ... Waterloo, Canada.  Not exactly a fine dining mecca, but, when I looked at reviews, one place came up over and over again: Bhimas Warung, a restaurant that has been around since 1994, so clearly has staying power.  They serve a mix of Indonesian, Vietnamese, & Thai food, and had a menu full of things I was excited by.  My local host was really, really excited to take us there, as it is his favorite place in town.  We headed there as a group of only 3.

While this is seemed to be considered the most highly regarded restaurant in town, I found it only ok, and if I was back in Waterloo for one meal only, no question, I'd return to The Crazy Canuck for another fantastic hot dog, poutine, and decent beaver tail.

The Space

Entrance.

The decor was fairly unique, with a kinda authentic, homey feel to it.

Bar.

The bar was in the center, large, but, didn't really seem to be where people went to sit and dine or otherwise hang out.

Menu.

Tables were set with laminated (kinda tacky) menus and fresh flowers on every one.

The Check.

The bill at the end of the meal was much less tackily presented, in a wooden folder.

Drinks

We all started the meal with cocktails, as the local who took us said they were excellent.  One diner cannot drink alcohol but he had a nice selection of mocktails to pick from.

Every drink came with a fruity garnish.

Some more elaborate than others.

While a nice touch in some ways, I found the garnish hard to drink around.

Appetizers 

The menu at Bhimas Warung is extensive.  Very full pages, with long descriptions of each dish.  

In the appetizer section alone there was more than a dozen choices, and nearly every dish had something I loved in it - foie gras potstickers (!!) with peanut nam jim, dumplings with scallops, crab, mango, squid ... so many things I love.

We were a group of only three though, and we weren't particularly hungry, so, we settled on only two choices (sadly, not the foie gras potstickers, as I was the only one excited for those).

Go Tai. $17.

"Fried dumplings, filled with spiced minced chicken and fresh sea scallops, in spicy mango butter."

Big plate, little dumplings.

Sotong Goreng Sama Rujak. $13.

"Tapioca and garlic fried squid in roasted chili, lime, and hoisin glaze with 'rujak' salad."

They were really into drizzling and painting on plates.

Mains

The mains lineup was just as extensive, a huge page, even ending in a note that says if you have a favorite that isn't listed, just ask the servers, they can "by all means try to prepare it for you".  How rare is that?!

Again nearly every dish had something I was excited about, like taro mash, excellent seafood, and, zomg so many sauces.

We again picked only two dishes for the 3 of us due to not being particularly hungry.

Bakmie Goreng Die Bawah Bebek Buie. $32.

"Muscovy duck magret roasted in ginger medium rare onto a wack of warung fried egg noodles, with the chaing mai curry"

The first one was definitely not what I'd ever normally order, at least, not if picking only two to order, but our local told us that this is what he gets every single time.  It wasn't a question of if he was getting it this time around.

Pad Ped Surf & Turf. $35.

"Beef tenderloin slivers and tiger shrimp jump fried with mushrooms, snake beans and selected vegetables and hopped up in a *&%$@!! hot Bhima's red curry"

The other was also the pick of our local host.  He told us this was a signature dish so we had to try it. We almost didn't order it because the server warned us it was spicy and the other diner can't handle a lot of spice, but, our host really encouraged it.

Served with coconut rice on the side.

Dessert

The dessert menu at Bhimas Warung was basically what my dreams are made of.   We were only 3 people, and we only ordered 2 appetizers and 2 mains because were weren't that hungry, but, we still ordered 3 full desserts, because I couldn't possibly narrow it down more.  Honestly, I wanted them all.  You know how much I love pudding, and there was not one, not two, but three pudding inspired options (tapioca pudding, creme brulee, and bread pudding), plus warm fried things (pisang goreng, gulab jamboon) with ice cream, and a mango & macadamia buterrnut tarte ... plus a slew of fascinating housemade ice cream flavors: black sticky rice & praline, thai basil & pandan, banana & bourbon, mango, etc, etc.  I mean, really.

Tea.

Uncle Warner's Tapioca Pudding.

"Tapioca pearls, vanilla ice cream, fruits, chocolate sauce, and creme de menthe."

A HUGE goblet of warm tapioca pudding, with two full scoops of ice cream, fruit, and sauces.  I mean, really.

Black Sticky Rice Creme Brulee.

"With fruit & praline."

Certainly not a traditional creme brulee, and I was surprised to see it served this way, and to not see the black sticky rice evident, but, a very unique dish nonetheless.

Commander's Palace White Chocolate Bread Pudding.

"Served warm with dark chocolate ice cream."

And warm bread pudding ... swoon.  We asked for the black sticky rice & praline flavor ice cream instead of dark chocolate as we were avoiding caffeine at night, and this allowed us to try the ice cream I most wanted to try too!

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