Benares, London

On my recent visit to London, I had two goals: to eat good indian food and to eat good fish and chips, both things which I don't get in San Francisco, and I know London does well.  I was only there for 4 days, and working most of that time, so, my opportunities were limited.  I still managed to do my best.

My companion and I arrived on a Saturday evening in London, and, as soon as we checked into the hotel, turned right back around to go to dinner.  We were both exhausted, and very seriously considered just staying in and ordering room service from the hotel, or, at least just getting something simple nearby.  But, I had made bookings far in advance at Benares, a Michelin starred Indian restaurant, and I was determined to get some amazing Indian cuisine.  How often do you get a chance to have Michelin starred Indian food, anyway? (Well, fairly often, if you live in London, but, not where I'm from!)

I will admit it was interesting to see Indian cuisine in a Michelin star setting.  The service was exactly as I'd expect, formal, attentive, and, at times, a bit invasive.  The servers were all clad in black, and there seemed to be an abundance of staff roaming around the dining room.  It was a bit confusing, as the person we ordered drinks from was not the person we needed to place our dinner menu with, and when we tried to, he said, "I'll go get my manager".  Someone was always hovering to refill our water glasses as soon as we took a few sips.  I honestly think there were multiple people stationed around the room who had no job other than pouring water.  It was a bit much.  Food was brought out on large silver tray, held by one staff member, while another took it from the silver tray and placed it onto our table.  Definitely an upscale setting, and, matched what I'd expect from a Michelin star establishment, except that most of the time, the dishes were never explained to us.

But the plating and portion sizes were the unexpected aspects of the experience for me, as I've just never seen Indian food served this way, more artfully arranged, with lots of garnishes, and modern techniques.  It was interesting, for sure, but, I really wasn't blown away, and wouldn't be likely to return.  Perhaps we just ordered poorly?

The Space

Curb Appeal.

Even from the outside, you could tell this was not a standard Indian restaurant.  A doorman in a top hat opened the door as we approached.  The entrance was flanked by heaters and planters.  It had a grandeur about it.

We were greeted at a podium right inside the door by a trio of hostesses, all wearing tight, black, formal dresses.  They offered to take anything from us for the "cloak room".  I immediately felt bad that I was just wearing really nice pants and top, rather than a dress, and my companion was just in khakis and a dress shirt, no jacket.  This was dressing up for us, but, we were worried didn't actually fit in.  Luckily, it turned out the staff were just better dressed than all patrons, and we were dressed entirely fine.

Bar.

Once we ditched our jackets, er, cloaks, we were lead upstairs to the bar and restaurant.  The lounge doesn't serve the dinner menu, but does offer an assortment of small plates, ranging from classics like veggie samosas to more interesting sounding crab kofta.  It looked like a great place to get super high quality "bar food".

Decor.

The dining room consisted nearly entirely of square tables, set for 2 or 4 guests.  Tables around the outside perimeter of the room featured a padded bench seat, which is where I was located.

The walls were sorta like artwork, with raised, sculpture-like, white panels.  This artistic touch carried over to the lights, round globes suspended from the ceiling, in a variety of colors.

Table Setting.

The table was set with decorative plates with white cloth napkins on them, and, the moment we put our napkins in our laps, the plates were taken away.  Seriously, plates just for the napkins?  Soon after, small side plates were brought out to have with our starters.  The whole decorative plate that you remove thing is always odd to me.  Our places were also set with dual knives and forks.

The table also contained a little candle and a flower floating in water.

Drinks

I knew that Benares was known for their creative cocktails, and was excited to try one.  However, we were brought only the main dinner menu and a wine list, neither of which contained cocktails, or other drinks.  All around us, tables were ordering amazing looking cocktails, so, eventually, I flagged someone down to ask for a cocktail menu.  I found it quite odd that we needed to ask for this.

Once we were brought the menu, the server returned within probably 45 seconds to take our drink order.  We hadn't even gotten past the first of many pages.  I said we needed more time, and he pressed, asking what kind of drink we wanted.  I said I wasn't sure yet, and he started suggesting drinks.  I know he was trying to be helpful, but, it was not welcome.  I just wanted more than a minute to read the drink menu, and, I didn't want to have to ask for the menu to begin with.  These little things don't matter normally, but, for a Michelin star place, I was surprised.

Anyway, drinks.  The menu had two pages devoted entirely to non-alcoholic drinks, which I knew would be nice for my companion, who does not drink alcohol.  One entire page was yogurt based drinks, that went far beyond a standard mango lassi. One had a blueberry shrub in it that sounded particularly fascinating.  Another page offered up more fruity drinks and many spins on non-alcoholic cocktails.  My companion selected one of these.

For me, there was an entire page of champagne cocktails, an entire page of martinis, a page of long cocktails, a page of house special cocktails, and an entire page of digestifs that truly did sound good enough to replace dessert.  So many to choose from.

Benares Colada. £9.50.

"A twist on the classic, this is a non-alcoholic version of the Piña Colada, with a Housemade Mango Shrub, Vanilla Syrup, Banana, Raspberry Puree, and Milk."

My fellow diner opted for the Benares Colada.  It was a looker!

I eagerly took a sip, as I do like piña coladas.  I was immediately quite confused.  I didn't taste any coconut, nor any pineapple.  All I tasted was banana.  Which, well, matches the ingredients listed on the menu too.  How is this a piña colada?  I didn't taste the raspberry, although you could see it on the glass.  I didn't taste mango or vanilla either.  Just, banana and milk.  Again, what?  A piña colada is all about the pineapple and coconut ...

Anyway, he didn't love nor hate it, his official statement: "I'm semi-indifferent to this."

Bollywood. £14.

"Wyborowa Vodka shaken with fresh raspberries, Aperol, Housemade Vanilla Syrup, and fresh squeezed lime juice then topped with Champagne. Clean and refreshing, just as a long drink should be."

I opted for a "long drink", the Bollywood.

It too was a looker, garnished with colorful purple and yellow flowers, and served in a contoured glass.

The first sip was very alcoholic, but, as the crushed ice melted, it mellowed out a bit.  The amount of ice looked ridiculous at first, but, it actually turned out to be fine.

The raspberry flavor was very strong too, but not in a bad way, it wasn't too sweet or fruity, and was nicely balanced by the other ingredients, likely the Aperol.  The vanilla came through on the finish, and was a really lovely compliment to the raspberry.  The champagne added a bit of fizz and festivity.

Overall, actually, a really nice drink, balanced, and enjoyable.

Cuisine

Benares offers a variety of options for dining.  For the full experience, you can opt for the tasting menu, £98 per person, for about 10 courses.  One table next to us opted for this option, along with the wine pairings.  Most items from the tasting menu are available on the a la carte, but there was one dish,  Tandoori Chicken Tikka Pie, that looked quite interesting and wasn't on the regular menu.

On the other end of the spectrum, if you order before 6:30pm, is the economical option of a set menu, two course for £29 or three courses for £35, with three options for each course.  The main dishes came with lentils and bread or rice on the side as well.  None of these dishes are on the a la carte menu.  All other tables within view of us went this route.  We nearly decided to get this menu, as there were decent options for each.  For starters, the heirloom tomato salad with asparagus fritters that our neighbor said was the best salad she'd ever had, and the smoked salmon fish cake with spiced green papaya both sounded pretty good. There was only one main I really wanted though, the fennel coated pan-fried plaice with crushed peas and a coconut and kokum sauce, basically, an Indian take on fish and chips.  But, we were going for fish and chips with co-workers two days later, so, this seemed like a poor choice.  The desserts on the set menu sounded a bit better than from the main menu, including a crazy kulfi and falooda parfait that I admired from afar when our neighbor got it.  From our observation, all the portions were generous and this really was an incredible value, no wonder so many others opted for it.  I likely would if I returned.

But, in the end, we decided to go a la carte. The set menu options were fine, but, none of them were the dishes we were most excited for.  The a la carte menu is broken down into appetizers (£14-£20), sides (£9), mains (£26-£36), breads & rice (£5), and dessert (£12).  Some simple math will make it pretty obvious how different this is from the set menu.  Two courses, just an app and main, from the a la carte would be £40-£56, not including the dal and bread/rice, as opposed to £29.  It was very easy to wind up with a large bill here by ordering a la carte.

The menu had a mix of vegetarian and non-vegetarian dishes on it, but, there were several vegetarian dishes that I had read recent reviews about missing from it.  I was fairly certain they still offered them.  I asked about a vegetarian menu, and soon, a separate menu was brought to us, including all the vegetarian dishes from the main menu, but with tons more on in each category.  It seemed really strange to me that the vegetarian menu was not offered from the start, or really, that all the vegetarian dishes weren't available on the main menu.  Again, just what seemed like a misstep I wouldn't expect certain from a Michelin star.

In the end, we ended up ordering one appetizer, one main, one side, rice, and bread, and, shockingly, no dessert (I know, I, of all people, did not get dessert!).  It was more than enough food, and we left with nearly half the food leftover, which they nicely packaged up for us.

Complimentary Papadam and Chutneys.

Immediately after we were seated, before we even received menus or had drink orders taken, a wooden container full of small papadam, with three chutneys in the lid, was delivered to our table.

 It was nice to have something to snack on right away, but, bringing this before the menus, and before drinks, seemed a bit ... rushed?

The three chutneys were: pineapple, tomato, and gooseberry.

I thought the form factor of these mini papadam was cute, much easier to eat than the standard wafers you have to break apart, and, more like chips, but, they were still papadam, still made from lentil, and thus, not something I liked.  My companion however did like these, and took to devouring the entire container full.  Around 80% of the way done, he realized he didn't want anymore, but, was "so close" to finishing that he felt compelled to finish them all.  I offered up a word of caution, saying there was much real, hot food on the way, and he could always come back to these later as they weren't going to spoil, but, he was determined to finish.  Amusingly, as soon as he did finish, a server swooped in to offer up another batch.  Lols.

As for the chutneys, I also didn't like any of them.  There was something in the spicing of each one that I didn't care for.  The pineapple version had large chunks of pineapple and was sweet, but the Indian spicing didn't quite work with it.  The gooseberry version sorta tasted like ... feet?  And the tomato one was just spiced tomato.  My companion however did like them, clearly, and scraped up every last drop.

Amuse Bouche: Potato Dumpling.

Very quickly after we placed our order, an amuse bouche was delivered, a potato dumpling.  Basically, like the insides of a samosa, but, in deep fried fritter form.  I don't really like potato filling (which is strange, I like mashed potatoes, I like french fries and wedges, I like hash browns ... so I do like potato, just, not really potato cubes?), so, I didn't really like it.  Again, my companion did enjoy his, saying, "this is tasty!", moments after biting into his.

The fritter was served atop a tasty tamarind chutney and garnished with fresh shoots.

At this point, my over zealous companion declared he was full, after just the complimentary snacks.  Oops.

 Starter: Paneer Tiranga. £18.

"Cottage Cheese Three Ways."

The starters were the most interesting sounding section of the menu to me.  I wanted the Macchi Amritsari, crispy fried lemon sole with a spicy dipping sauce, but, I knew we would be going to get fish and chips soon after, so, I wanted to save my "fried fish and dipping sauce" for that.  I was also drawn in by the jal tarang, seared scallops with watercress puree, but, I figured that they likely wouldn't be that unique.  I do love a good seared scallop, but, what would really make these special?  We also nearly ordered the Subz Kebab Thal, a trio of items consisting of plantain and spinach tikki, malvani paneer tikka, and a kidney bean stuffed pepper, me wanting the first two items, and my companion the third.

But, finally, we decided on the Paneer Tiranga, another trio, only listed on the vegetarian menu.

The three ways turned out to be tandoori, grilled, and fried into croquettes, and the trio came with two of each item, one for each of us.

The tandoori was by far the best. The cheese cubes had a lovely smoky grilled flavor and a sear and slight crust on the outside.  The salt level was spot on.  I genuinely enjoyed the tandoori cube, but, my fellow diner only took one bite of his cube and put the rest back, not really caring for it.  We clearly have different preferences.

The grilled one however was far less successful.  It just tasted like ... fresh cheese.  It didn't have any kind of sear/char/crust or anything to give it a little texture.  It kinda turned into mush when you cut into it.  I really didn't like it, and neither my companion nor I had a second bite.

The third version was the most interesting, little chopped bits of paneer and some veggies, made into balls, and deep fried.  But ...  again neither of us liked the texture of this either.  It was too oily on the outside for me, and the filling was just mush that reminded us both of tofu.

The fried ball was served with a pipette of mint chutney, a creative touch, but, impractical.  The balls were too solid to inject the chutney into them directly, and there was really no reason to dot it on top of them.

The dish also had two other chutneys, red (tomato?) and green basil chutney, both artistically smeared on the plate for style points.  My companion liked the red chutney.

Overall, this trio was a letdown.  I did like the tandoori paneer, but, the others were really not very good.  My companion didn't care for any of it.  Interestingly, no one asked us why nearly all the grilled paneer and 1 of the 2 croquettes went unfinished.  It was a small plate, and clearly we weren't too full to finish it.

Main: Haveli Kofta.  £26..

"Seasonal Vegetable and Green Chilli Kofta, Sautéed Spinach, Peanut and Sesame Seed Sauce."

For a main dish, it was easy to rule out most of the non-vegetarian options, not because I'm vegetarian, but because they weren't the proteins I like: tandoori chicken or lamb, venison, duck.  The seafood options did sound decent, like a Wild Atlantic Hake, or chargrilled salmon (with a crab croquette!), but, for some reason, the veggie options were calling out more to me.  For veggie choices, there was paneer rogan josh (which we almost got, but I thought we should get something more creative), an eggplant tart (sounded good, but, it had feta, eh), kathal achari (green jackfuit? Fascinating and unknown), and this, the haveli kofta.

I think I mostly just remembered some really good malai kofta in the past, and wanted it to be a fancy version of that.

It was plated Michelin-star style, with a smear of the sauce on the plate, served over wilted spinach.  Of course, this wasn't nearly enough sauce, and, they knew it, providing a second vessel of the sauce on the side.  At least they know the fancy plating hurts the true nature of the dishes!  I appreciated the extra sauce immensely, or, at least I did in theory.

Main: Haveli Kofta: Close Up.

Anyway, the dish had two kofta, each one surrounding a spicy green chilli, stem still on, which you can see here in the close up.  And I mean spicy.  I cut one of the kofta in half to start, to split it, and his half got all the chili without us realizing a full chili was inside.  I found my part to be bland and boring, just mushy fried vegetables, but he was acting like this was the spiciest dish ever.  I was confused, until we realized what had happened, and, he made me switch parts.  I took one bite with the chili, and, my palate was blown.  It was crazy spicy.  Too spicy.

Neither of us really liked the kofta, and, even though the dish had only two of the patties, we only managed to finish one between us.  It was either too spicy, or just mushy fried boringness.

We did both really like the spinach however, sautéed with plenty of garlic, just slightly wilted.  My companion said it reminded him of stir fried pea shoots from a Chinese restaurant, which, I did sorta understand.

The sauce was the real sad point for me, as I love sauces, and was particularly looking forward to dunking my bread in this.  It looked like it should taste something like a tikka masala sauce, but, it didn't.  It wasn't cream based, nor tomato based.  Instead, it tasted exactly as advertised, like peanut and sesame seeds.  Basically, like peanuty-tahini.  Which seems like it should be good, but, really just fell flat and was very ... nutty.  We both agreed that the look of it kept making us take more, and we somehow kept expecting it to taste different, and it never did.

Overall, a flop of a dish for us, except for the tasty spinach.

Side: Makai Khumb. £9.

"Sweet Corn and Seasonal Mushrooms, Fenugreek leaves."

Rather than pick two main dishes, we decided to get a main and a side. The selection for sides was extensive, ranging from vegetables like asparagus poriyal and khatti bhindi to legumes like punjabi chole and classic dal, and of course, everyone's favorite, palak paneer.

I dislike beans and lentils, so it was easy to rule those out, and, I really wanted some vegetables after a week in Munich of mostly meat, cheese, and heavy sauces.  The asparagus sounded good, and I always love palak paneer, but we opted for the makai khumb instead, mostly because it just sounded different.

It was pretty good, I liked the sweet corn.  The mushrooms weren't particularly interesting, mostly button mushrooms, with a few other small mushrooms mixed in.  They were all kinda slimy.  The sauce was tomato (and onion?) based, and decently spicy.

Overall, this was good, but we both felt like this dish was missing something and found it a bit boring.  Perhaps we just aren't used to Indian side dishes?  I wanted it to have paneer, but then it would have been more of a main ...

Side: Steamed White Rice.

I don't eat rice, but my companion does, so he opted for a side of simple steamed rice. However, by the time the food came, he was stuffed, and didn't want it.  I think he tried a token spoonful and then moved on.

Whole Wheat Parantha. £5.

For bread, we had a bunch of choices: naan (plain, butter, garlic and coriander), kulcha (vegetable, cheese, peshawari, caramelized onion), and parantha (plain, whole wheat), all £5.

We normally opt for garlic naan or onion kulcha, but, for some reason, we decided to get parantha.  I think my companion mentioned he didn't think he had ever had it before, so I wanted him to try it.  I do have a fondness for it.

It was ... fine.  Not particularly well laminated, but not too oily.  It had a hearty whole wheat flavor that I enjoyed.

Magic Grow Towels!

After our dinner dishes were cleared, a server brought over a tray with two little rolled up towels.  He poured hot water over them, and they grew into hand towels.

It was cute and whatnot, but, since nothing we ate was finger food, seemed a bit odd.  They were very into extra showmanship.

Petit Fours.

We weren't excited about the dessert menu by the time we got to it, as nearly every dessert had elements to it I really didn't care for, and my fellow diner was still stuffed of pappadam.  So, Julie, the dessert girl, actually suggested we not get dessert.  I knew that Benares, being a full service Michelin starred establishment, served petit fours before dessert (or with the bill?)   But I wasn't sure if we'd get them even without ordering dessert.  Luckily, we did, so I could still get some sweet hit.

Unfortunately, they weren't very good.  And no explanation of the items was given.

The first item was an almond florentine.  Crispy, sweet, but rather burnt tasting.  It was my favorite I guess, and I finished both after he didn't want it, but, not very good.

Next was orange jellies, one globe shaped, and one slice shaped.  They were soft and I liked the sugar on the outside, but, they didn't really have any flavor besides sweet.  I made up the name "orange" based on the color, not the flavor.  Very boring.

Finally, little bites of cake.  The cake was dry.  On top was a spread, that I originally thought was red bean, but I think was actually chocolate.  It was bitter and just kinda mush on top.  There was also a sprinkle of something slightly crunchy.  I originally thought matcha, again because it was so bitter, but I think it was pistachio?  Chocolate and pistachio make more sense than red bean and matcha given our venue.  This was really not good.

None of these bites were good, and, instead of leaving us with a nice final sweet bite, we wished we didn't have them.  As my companion said, "These were the worst part of the meal, such a bad note to end on."