Dessert and Drinks @ Hawksmoor Seven Dials, London

After my first full day in London, a Friday night, I somehow wasn't suffering from jetlag too badly (don't worry, that would come the next day).  My office had a TGIF party with food and drinks, and some of us decided to go out from there, for a bit more food, and a few more drinks.  My colleagues know that I'm a foodie and would have a list of places to check out, which of course I did.

I selected Hawksmoor, a nice steakhouse.  But not for the steakhouse, for the bar.  The cocktail menu sounded amazing.  But I had other goals in mind as well: the sticky toffee pudding.  The internet claims that they have the best sticky toffee pudding in London.  As a total dessert girl, I clearly had to have the best ever of this classic British dessert, particularly as I had a decent version on my Virgin Atlantic flight there.

So our group of 7 made the trek to the nearest Hawksmoor outpost, in Seven Dials, which I knew had a decent sized bar area.

It also turned out to have crazy policies.  They said there was no space for our group of 7, and suggested we leave and come back later.  No list to put our names on or anything.  Ok.  But I desperately needed to use the bathroom, so I asked if I could use the bathroom first.  It was through the bar area.  Where I saw plenty of seats.  Hmm.

We asked if we could split up, and they told us no.  They can't split up parties.  We said it was fine, just pretend we were a 3 and a 4, we wouldn't try to share a bill, etc.  Still, no.

Half my group left to go scout out other locations, and 4 of us stayed behind to wait.  A different host asked what we were waiting around for, and we said the bar.  He said we could go down, no problem.  Once we got there, and confirmed there were plenty of seats, we sent a message to the others and told them to come back.  We told the bartender what was going on, and he said as long as we all had seats, it was fine.  No one inside had any problem with us the rest of the night.

I don't know if we just didn't look nice enough?  We *were* software engineers, and London is fancier ...

Anyway.  Spoiler: it wasn't worth the drama.

My "Meal": Cocktail, Chips, Dessert.

I was at Hawksmoor for two key reasons: I wanted a great cocktail and I wanted a great dessert.  But I figured I should ease into things with a savory bite, so I threw on some chips as well.

Everything was lackluster.

Custom Cocktail: Paloma-Ish.

The bartender was friendly and chatty, and kept suggesting that he could make anything we wanted, even though I was really excited by the menu.  When I asked if one drink was sweet (it had marmalade in it), he again really wanted to make me a custom cocktail instead.

Finally, I told him I like gin, tequila, and whiskey, and that I didn't want anything sweet.

What he came up with was basically a salt rimmed paloma.

It was bitter (I guess not sweet), but way too fruity for me (hmm, not sweet, technically).  It wasn't well balanced, and I didn't like it at all.

I licked the salt off the rim though?

Triple cooked chips. £4.50. Side of Anchovy Hollandaise. £3.00. 

When I ordered the chips, the bartender asked if we'd like to perhaps add on some anchovy hollandaise.  My heart skipped a beat.  What?! I could order that with my chips?!  YES!!!  I told him he was speaking my language.

You see, while I wasn't interested in steak really, I had read such great reviews of the sauces at Hawksmoor, and in particular, the anchovy hollandaise.  I would have never thought to order it with my fries, and I don't care if he was just upselling.  I was glad.  I wanted it.

That hollandaise was the highlight of the meal.  It came served in a little pot, warm, with a spoon.  I may have resorted to just eating it by the spoonful, after we were done the chips, and after I was saddened by the dessert.

The hollandaise was good.  Very good, but, I didn't really taste any anchovy in particular.  The ketchup was standard, but served in a cute bottle.  A cute bottle that was impossible to get ketchup out of.  Another server saw me struggling and came over with a straw to poke in it, saying he does this *all* all the time.  Or else, disasters.  Um, maybe they could change out those serving vessels?

But the chips?  Meh.

They were very greasy.  Not fluffy potatoes inside.  Crispy I guess, but all broken in pieces and just greasy crispy chunks of grease.  I didn't even want them to soak up the hollandaise, like I said, I resorted to just lapping it up by the spoonful.

I would not get this again.

Sticky toffee pudding with Clotted Cream. £8.

And then, the signature sticky toffee pudding.

I was so excited.  It was warm.  It was swimming in caramel.  It had a huge glob of clotted cream on top.  Oh boy.

One look, and I wished I hadn't offered spoons to the others.  I thought I'd want it all.  At least I had it first.  I was going to get my bites before passing it off.

One bite ... and I passed it off.  Ok, I had a second one just to verify that it wasn't actually tasty, and then passed it off.

The cake was dry inside.  It wasn't flavorful.  It was just ... brown cake.

The caramel sauce was warm, it was sweet, and it was nice I guess, but even I didn't feel compelled to lap it up.  It was just sweet mediocre caramel.

The clotted cream on top was ... clotted cream.  Even a spoonful of just cream and caramel wasn't awesome.

Overall this was shockingly lackluster.