Joe & The Juice

Update Review, May 2024

In May 2024, Joe & the Juice introduced a new range of shakes, protein shakes, for all "the Gym Bros & Sisters".  They made a bit of fanfare about them, developed in partnership with PUORI (whey & collagen or plant based protein supplements) and SPROUD (plant based high protein milk alternative).  I'm not really one for protein shakes in general, so I did not pay attention, that is, until they offered a freebie.

So of course I went to try one.  I could pick any of the 5 item lineup, 3 of which were new to the menu (Beets & Berries, Big Matcha Energy, and Chocolate Flex), or two almond butter based ones that I think were already on the menu.   All use Sproud M*lk and Puori proteins, use dates for sweetness, and bananas.  None sounded actually all that appealing, but again, can't resist a freebie ...

Chocolate Flex. $14.69.
 -Banana -Date +Mint, Sub Plant Protein.

"Raw Cacao, Banana, Date Puree, Collagen & Whey Protein, Sproud M*lk, Ice."

I went for the Chocolate Flex, but modified it.  First up, removing the dates as I don't like the taste of them, and the bananas, because I wanted it to be more pure chocolate.  Next, opting for the plant based protein rather than collagen & whey, because my body doesn't like whey protein isolate.  And finally, adding mint, hoping that would make it like a mint chocolate shake.  Really, I was just trying to create a dessert.  Protein shakes/healthy tasting things and I are generally not very aligned.

My order was ready quickly.  It was nicely blended, finely ground bits of ice, no big lumps or chunks.  But very clearly an ice based drink, not a real shake, as the milk pooled up and separated quickly.  The aroma from the mint was strong, and it looked chocolately, so I took a big gulp.  Um, yeah.  This was a protein shake.  One that I had eliminated all sweetness from (not quite intentionally).   It was bitter.  It tasted chalky.  It was not tasty.  And likely all my fault, given my omissions.

I don't think I can give a real review of this, because the shortcomings are due to my own changes to it.  I brought it home, added sweetener, added bits of chopped Heath Bar and chocolate chips, added whipped cream, and tried so hard to make it dessert, but, it really was a protein shake after all.  It did have 24 g of protein in it, so there is that.

Original Review, September 2021

I don't know when it happened.  Sometime in the past couple years, when I wasn't looking.  My neighborhood became overrun with Joe & The Juice locations. 

"Taking juice to the next level."

Yeah, yeah, another trendy juice shop?  Not quite.

Joe & The Juice stands out from all the other juice shops (e.g. Pressed Juicery, Juice Shop, etc), as rather than focused on cleanses and juicing lifestyles, it seems to be marketed for much greater appeal (but not in a general Jamba Juice way).  In addition to juice they have some (healthy) food, a full coffee bar, and plentiful lounge space, and, well, my neighborhood seems to have fully embraced the brand.  There are 3 (!) within a half mile radius!

The success however is certainly not limited to my neighborhood - Joe & The Juice is a worldwide chain, and actually started in Denmark (in 2002).  I first saw it in Sydney years before it made its way to San Francisco.

Anyway.  I'm not a juicing type, not really one to seek out healthy foods, but, I finally visited, drawn in by the popularity, and, um, the lure of free things, courtesy of AllSet, an ordering platform they are offered on.

Side note: Stuck doing a lot of takeout and delivery these days? Want to try some free food and new pickup or delivery services?  Here are some codes for free money!

• Allset ($5 off) [ Pickup only ]
• Door Dash ($15 off, $5 each of your first 3 orders) [ Delivery or pickup ]
• Caviar ($20 off, $10 off your first 2 orders) [ Delivery or pickup ]
• Ritual ($6 off) [ Pickup only ]
• Delivery.com ($10 off) [ Delivery or pickup ]
• Grub Hub ($10 off) [ Delivery or pickup ]
• Seamless ($10 off) [ Delivery or pickup ]
• Nextdish: ($10 off your first order) [ Delivery only ]
• Uber Eats ($20 off - use code eats-lejw5 at checkout) [ Pickup or delivery ]

My orders were always through AllSet, and were quickly acknowledged and filled.  I never waited for my items, and they were always waiting for me in the pickup area.  I think AllSet likely integrates with the same POS as their own app, which is how most people seem to order, so I never had issues.

Treats

Yes, Joe & The Juice is a health focused place, and yet ... of course I went straight for the "Treats" section of the menu.  You know me and my baked goods!

The treats lineup isn't exactly decadent, but offers up two kinds of muffin (blueberry, chocolate), both reasonably sized (as in, smaller than most places), and little mini loaves of banana bread, carrot cake, and a brownie ... all of which were the same shape (yes, the brownie and banana bread look the same).  They also had a cookie on the menu, but it seems to have been discontinued.

The items I tried were all ok, but certainly tasted on the healthy side.

Cookie Box.

The first item I ordered at Joe & The Juice was a cookie.  Yes, me, the girl who says she doesn't really care for cookies generally.  I ordered through the app, and it just said "cookie", without description of what kind.  I wasn't sure what to expect. Classic chocolate chip?  Sugar cookie?  Oatmeal raisin? I had no idea.

When I went to pick up my treat, I was at first quite pleased with the packaging.  What a cute box!  I expected a cookie just in a little sleeve ...

Smooshed Cookie.

But when I opened the box, I was less thrilled.  The cookie had a larger diameter than the box, and thus, it was smooshed in, broken when I got it.

It looked to be chocolate chip, which turns out to be the only kind they carried.

Chocolate Chip Cookie. $2.99.

Yup, for $2.99, I got a broken cookie.

The cookie was ... fine.  Very crumbly.  Somewhat strange texture, almost like a gluten-free cookie, but it was not gluten-free.  I'd say perhaps it was a strange texture due to something they do to make it healthier (but, it still clocks in 267 calories).

Anyway.  A thin cookie, crisp, crumbly, with very, very, very few chocolate chips, and the ones that were there were quite small.  Nothing particularly good about this cookie.

**+ and certainly not worth $2.99.

Another Broken Cookie.  $2.99.

So, yes, I didn't give the previous one a rave review, but, during the COVID days, I went through a cookie obsession, plus, AllSet kept giving me $3 credits to spend, so, why not take a "risk" and get another?  I'm glad I did.

It came mushed into a box just as before, no napkin this time, and it wasn't even trying to not be all broken up.  Completely mangled.  Seriously, minus a point for this!

And this time, I knew to expect the kinda strange crumbly texture, and healthier taste, and liked it considerably more.  It went well dunked in milk.

***.

Carrot Cake. $3.49.

My next order was a more exciting sounding dessert: carrot cake

Since I ordered on AllSet, I did not see the carrot cake in person before I ordered it.  If I had, I likely would not have picked it.  I expected, well, a slice of cake.  Lots of cream cheese frosting, ideally on top and between layers.  Instead, it was more like a tea cake.  At least it had *some* frosting ...

I tried not to judge the cake by the cover, but, it was highly, highly mediocre.

It was more like a carrot muffin.  It seemed like it was trying to taste fairly healthy?  I guess that would be on brand.  It had no flourishes, no nuts for crunch, no pineapple for moisture.  Just a lightly spiced, kinda dry, mediocre cake.

The frosting was more sour than cream cheese-y.  Eh.  

This did not satisfying my dessert sweet tooth. **+.

Update: I had another, and found it was much better warm with ice cream.  It grew on me a little. *** ... maybe.

Drinks

As you can likely guess from the name of the business, drinks, specifically juices, are their focal point.  Joe & The Juice offers up a slew of juice blends, with fun names like "Go Away Doc" (features carrots), or "Prince of Green" (cucumber).  They also make healthy shakes (sweetened with dates, full of things like spirulina or beetroot powder, etc), and have a full espresso bar, along with T2 tea.

I haven't actually tried the juices (not my thing), but tried a shot (random, I know), and some coffee drinks.  All were ... "fine".

Ginger Shot.  $3.60.

"Apple, Ice, Ginger."

I was feeling a little under the weather, and really wanted something refreshing and to pick me up.  For some reason, the ginger shot called out.

I've only had ginger shots a few times in my life, but the gym at my office used to have a ginger shot of the day, and I'd grab it from time to time.  Those are really my only comparison point, and I always loved the major ZING to them.

This ginger shot was far more muted, clearly cut with a lot of apple juice.  The flavors were balanced, but, I wanted something with a bit more bite.

At $3.60 for a tiny little apple juice with a touch of ginger, it wasn't worth it to me.  But the cup was adorable.

**+.

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Cold Brew. $5.00.

I had no reason to really think Joe & The Juice would have good coffee, but, when my coffee maker was broken, I decided to try their cold brew.  It was ... fine.  Not particularly complex, but not too bitter.  Kinda watered down.  It did the trick but I certainly wouldn't get it again.

**+.

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Espresso Shot. $2.80.

The espresso turned out much better than the cold brew.  Nice aroma, fairly complex flavor, smooth finish.  I have since gotten it several time (when AllSet has given me free $3 credits to spend!).  Not something to rave about, or go out of my way for, but, a solid espresso.

***+.