Hot Cookie

“Where our cookies are as hot as our customers.” 

Turns out, flattery *does* get you somewhere.  As does a cutesy name, a flashy sign, a prime location, some signature items ... all of which Hot Cookie, a cookie shop in the Castro, has in spades.

I've known of Hot Cookie for years.  If you ever walked down Castro Street in San Francisco, it is pretty hard to miss, with a very bright sign in front, always illuminated.  When they call themselves a "Castro icon", it is an appropriate title.  It has been around since 1997.  Much like Insomnia Cookie, which I reviewed recently, the aroma of freshly baked cookies drifts down the street and draws you in.

Hot Cookie's most infamous items are of course the penis shaped cookies.  I haven't been inside the shop myself, but apparently the music is thumping, the staff are dancing, and the vibe is as vibrant and cheerful as the signage.  They now have a second location on Polk St as well.  I was able to try some when someone brought them to my office.

Sadly, I found them very mediocre.

Cookies

"Our homemade cookies are a San Francisco tradition, mixed and baked daily. The cookies and treats are made from quality ingredients and are scooped and baked fresh by our Hot Cookie crew throughout the day."

In addition to the signature penis (or vagina) cookies (dipped in white or dark chocolate, $11 each), Hot Cookie offers regular cookies, available in nearly 20 flavors for $4.25-$4.50 each (some vegan or gluten-free as well), and minis (4 flavors only, 1 vegan) are $0.99. 

Even though I'm not a huge cookie person, I of course wanted to try, and was able to try all the minis.

Sugar Cookie (mini). $0.99.

"Rainbow sprinkles on a chewy moist cookie baked right under the Castro flag."

I'm a little kid at heart.  No question about it.  When I saw the sprinkles I was all in.  Given the tiny size of the minis, I didn't hesitate to grab two.

That said ... these cookies were not great.  They were fine, soft, decent chew, slightly crisp edge, and loaded with sprinkles, but, they really seemed no different than a generic slice and bake sugar cookie, that just happened to benefit from a dunk in a sprinkle bowl.

I appreciated the sprinkles, and that they weren't overcooked, but ... really, not anything special.

***.

White Chocolate Chip (mini). $0.99.

"Betty White would have been 100 years old on 1/17/21. In addition to being a ground breaking actress she supported Animal welfare, LGBTQ rights and racial equity. Hot Cookie is renaming our Baby Whites to Betty Whites on what would have been her 100th birthday to honor her."

Saddened by the sprinkle cookies, I went back for more, this time taking only an unclaimed half to try.  I opted for my second pick: white chocolate chip.  Much like sprinkles, I just kinda adore kid's things like simple sweet white chocolate.

I eagerly bit in, only to find I really, really did not like this cookie.  Yes, it was soft, and although a bit more brown around the edges than the previous, it certainly wasn't overbaked.  But the flavor ... I did NOT like the flavor.  I'm not sure what it was, and I took a second bite to confirm, but, wow, I just did not care for this in any way.  It had a very acrid taste.  Did NOT like.  I repeat, did NOT like.

*.

Gingersnap (mini). $0.99.

"Aromatic, spicy ginger adds a special flavor to this vegan cookie for those not into meat."

Next up, I went far outside my normal cookie stomping ground, and tried the gingersnap, a vegan cookie.  I have nothing again vegan goods, and, in fact my favorite cookie from Insomnia Cookie is a vegan one, but it is actually gingersnap that I tend to not care as much for.

This cookie, much like the sugar cookie, was "fine".  It was soft.  It seemed fresh baked.  It did have generous spices.  It was, well, a gingersnap, and just not something I gravitate towards.  It didn't taste noticeably vegan in any way.

Another cookie that just was not remarkable, and seemed like it could have been baked by anyone's mother and thrown onto a holiday cookie exchange patter or bake sale table.

**+.

Chocolate Chip (mini). $0.99.

"Our classic chocolate chip… for those who know that size isn’t everything."

Getting desperate, I moved on to a simple classic: chocolate chip.

After all those not so good cookies, well, I finally found one that was decent enough.  It wasn't great, but it was considerably better than the others.  Soft, nice chew, lightly buttery and sweet flavor.

***.