CLIF Bars

Why do so many sports/nutrition bars always sound SOOO good, but then, well, taste like nutrition bars?  While there are a few brands of these sorts of grab-n-go bars that I actually like (such as Perfect Bars, which I genuinely like), most tend to have a odd texture, bad aftertaste, or leave my stomach feeling unsettled (whey protein and my stomach are not friends).  And yet, I do keep trying them, because I often want an easy snack on hand when I'm out and about.  Plus, I'll admit, I can get drawn in by the flavor names.  

These days, you certainly have your choice of sports and nutrition bars to pick from.  Every grocery store, corner store, even vending machine will give you options for bars, some vegan, some high protein, some high maintenance that require refrigeration, etc.  So many choices.  But back in the day, there was CLIF, the original pioneer in the market, started back in 1992, and mainly targeted at hikers.  Now CLIF makes many different product lines, such as the classic CLIF energy bars, high protein BUILDERS bars, crunchy granola CRUNCH bars, trail mix style MOJO bars, and the children's Zbar line, along with the spin-off brand, LUNA, which is bars specially designed for women (that I've reviewed before), cereals, and gels.  So many products.  But back to those flavor names that draw me in.

"Spiced Pumpkin Pie", "Peanut Toffee Buzz", "Peanut Butter Pretzel", "Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough", "S'mores", "Caramel Nut Brownie" ... these are just some of the enticing product names from CLIF.  I've tried many of their products over the years, most I don't really care for, but I do sometimes find a hit (and I'll admit I don't mind most of the kids Zbars).s

Classic Clif Bars

"CLIF BAR® Energy Bar is the first bar we made, and it’s still everything we’re about. Nutritious, organic ingredients. Performance nutrition. And great taste. Whether you’re on a 150-mile bike ride or exploring a new trail, this energy bar is built to sustain your adventure."

The original product from the company is the signature CLIF energy bars.  They are all pretty much the same, made with mostly organic ingredients, focus is on sustained energy, a good blend of carbs, protein, and fiber.  They are designed to be eaten at least an hour before hard exercise, or afterwards as a recovery item.  They aren't really meant to just be snack foods, and uh, taste that way.  Maybe this is good, because if they tasted as good as their names, I'd probably try to eat them as snacks.

The base for the bars is all the same, a mix of oats, brown rice syrup, soy butter, and date paste, along with some Clif special mixtures: ClifPro® (made from a bunch of soy products) and ClifCrunch® (made from assorted products to add fiber).  This gives them all the same texture, just kinda mushy, very dense, with some oats in it.  The flavor variety comes from the mix-ins and drizzles on top, that sound good, but never really save the bars.  These things don't taste bad per se, but I don't know why I'd ever want to eat one.  Unless I was needing it for athletic nutrition.  Which ... gee, I guess that is what they are for after all ...

Sierra Trail Mix Clif Bar.

"Bringing together timeless trail mix ingredients such as peanuts, raisins, chocolate and seeds."

Mmm, who doesn't like trail mix (always called GORP in my household ... aka, "good old raisins and peanuts", usually made with M&Ms too).

This sounded like the most promising Clif bar to me.  It was their standard base, with added peanuts, chocolate chips, raisins, and pumpkin and sunflower seeds.

Like all the bars, it wasn't bad, but it wasn't very good.  The right thing for hiking, or sports recovery, but not something you'd ever want to just grab to eat.  Or at least, I don't.  **+.

Peanut Toffee Buzz.

"Crunchy peanut toffee meets roasted peanuts and organic peanut butter."

Now, this sounded good.  Crunchy toffee? Roasted peanuts?  Peanut butter?  Plus it contains caffeine from green tea extract, hence, the "buzz" part of the name.

It even looks good, drizzled with something on top.  But ... it is still a Clif bar.  The little bits of toffee were tasty, as were the chunks of peanuts, but, the texture and flavor of the base is just really not good.  I need to remember that I never actually like Clif bars and stop trying these!  **+.

Chocolate Chip Peanut Crunch.

"Chocolate chips and crunchy peanuts for serious satisfaction."

Ok, so I never like regular Clif bars, but ... chocolate chips and peanuts sounded so promising.

But chocolate chips and peanuts don't make up for a bar that is made from soy protein isolate, soybeans, oats and oat fiber, and strange flours.

Sure, the bits of chocolate and peanut "crunch" looked appealing, but they weren't actually tastable in the bar given the other dominant ingredients.

I don't like Clif bars.  *+.

Chocolate Chip Peanut Crunch.
(2023 Update).

"Chocolate chips and crunchy peanuts for serious satisfaction."

I was drawn in to this bar by the name, as, well, I like chocolate chips, peanuts, and crunchy things, but forgot that I had tried it, and not cared for it, years ago.

Given the first ingredient in the name, "chocolate chip", I was surprised to see so few chocolate chips.  This is not a chocolate dominant, or even all that noticeable, bar.  There was decent texture ("crunch") from the bits of peanut and protein isolate crisps, and very light peanut flavor, but mostly, it tasted like Clif fake chemical mixes.  

It had a nice chew, and is a bar that eats nicely, but, you really have to like the taste of the classic Clif mix, which, I don't.  **.

White Chocolate Macadamia Nut.

"Roasted macadamia nuts meet creamy, scrumptious white chocolate flavor."

I know I should give up but ... white chocolate and macadamia nuts are things I love!

The first time I had this, I liked the sweet white chocolate nuts, but couldn't really find the macadamia nuts.  I noted it was "the best Clif bar I’ve had, but I didn’t LOVE it.".

So I tried it again.

I was much less impressed this time.  As always, I hated the base.  I still didn't find anything I'd identify as a macadamia nut.  And I didn't find white chocolate really either.  There *were* white soft chunks, that seemed like they should be white chocolate, but, they instead tasted mostly like ... nothing?

Do not like. *.

Peanut Toffee Buzz.

"Crunchy peanut toffee meets roasted peanuts and organic peanut butter."
Surely this would be good right?  Peanuts? Toffee? Peanut butter and peanuts were early in the ingredient list.  I had hope.

I shouldn't have.  Still a Clif bar.  Still just such an awful mushy texture, awful taste from all the protein isolates.

I hunted for peanuts, as I could see bits of peanut, but, alas, they weren't really to be found.  I didn't taste any peanut.

I hunted for toffee, and what I found were little bits of soft mush, kinda sweet.  Was that the toffee?  It wasn't worth seeking out.

I have no idea what the icing drizzle on top was.

The "buzz" comes from green tea extract, also, not something I detected.

Sigh, Clif bars. *.

Blueberry Crisp.

"Inspired by the home-baked flavor of blueberry crisp fresh from the oven."

Great blueberry flavor, aroma of a blueberry muffin, dried blueberries soft and sweet, nice crunch from chopped almonds, and then ... the Clif bar funk.  #stillAClifBar *+.

Oatmeal Raisin Walnut.

"Plump raisins, sweet cinnamon and organic rolled oats combine for ol’ fashioned, home-baked goodness."

Great aroma.  Almost seemed like it was going to be a pleasant oatmeal raisin cookie-like experience.

And then it was a Clif Bar.  Horrible texture, strange flavor. Did not like. *.

Carrot Cake.

"Warm, sweet spices paired with the fresh taste of carrots, raisins & apples."

I don't know about you, but when I think of carrot cake, the spices, raisins, and apples (?) aren't exactly my focus.  Carrot cake is all about the cream cheese frosting!  I thought this would be drizzled with some kind of healthy icing, but alas, it wasn't.

I also don't think of soy protein isolate, soybeans, oat fiber, rolled oats, etc, obviously.

So the base of this met my Clif bar expectations, even though not my carrot cake expectations: horrible flavor and texture, lots of weird stuffs going on in there.  It did had actual chunks of carrots, and some classic carrot cake spicing (nutmeg, cinnamon, cloves), so, I'll give them that. *+.

Carrot Cake: Detail.

The thing that really surprised me was the white chunks, visible here on the underside.  Given the ingredient list, and description, I thought, "oh, chunks of dried apple, boo", but they turned out to be chunks of something sweet and actually tasty.  Like white chocolate or even sorta kinda cream cheese inspired.  I actually really liked them.

But I have no idea what they were.  There is no white chocolate ingredients, no dairy ingredients ... they were some magic combination of isolates and strange sweeteners that managed to taste good?  No idea.

Berry Pomegranate Chia.

"A sweet and tangy combination of strawberries, cranberries, pomegranates & organic chia seeds."

How did I wind up with this?  I have no idea.  I certainly didn't purchase it, given my general displeasure with Clif bars, my complete and utter dislike of chia, and general feelings of "eh" on cranberries and pomegranates.

Better question ... why did I bother try it?  Again, I have no idea, except my desire to try #allTheThings and you know, "do it for my readers".  Y'all are important to me!

The shocking thing to me is that I didn't hate it.  Maybe I was in the mood?  The texture was good, slight crunch.  It tasted healthy, but not in a bad way.  It was pretty fruity.  Sure, the fruits weren't ones I really wanted, but it was vaguely "kinda tart, kinda sweet berry" flavor, certainly not identifiable as pomegranate, which makes sense, since dried cranberries and dried strawberries come long long before the pomegranate powder in the ingredient list.

If you like chia and fruity-tart flavors, give this one a try. **+.

Additional flavors tried: 

• Chocolate Brownie: "The rich, indulgent flavor of a fresh-baked brownie.". Mushy texture, not very good flavor.  Did not deliver the "brownie" it promised! *.
• Chocolate Chip: "The classic, cravable taste of a fresh chocolate chip cookie." Same mushy base, little bits of decent chocolate chips, chocolate drizzle on top for a tiny bit more chocolate, but overall, just sweet and mushy and not something I want.  *+.
• Crunchy Peanut Butter: "Smooth, organic peanut butter mixed with crunchy peanut pieces.". Same mushy base, although with nice peanut butter flavor.  But I'd much rather taste my peanut butter in another form. **.
• Coconut Chocolate Chip: "Sweet organic coconut paired with chocolate chips and a creamy chocolate drizzle." Again, mushy, but the coconut flakes added a little more texture, making it a bit crunchy.  This was better.  The flavor from the coconut was also good.  One of the better Clif bars, but I wouldn't really want more. **+.

Crunch

For a while, Clif made a line of bars known as "Crunch".  These are crunchy, fairly classic granola bars, marketed as a lighter option than the Clif energy bars.  They amp up the fiber content by incorporating rye flakes, barley flakes, oat bran, and oat flour, along with the standard toasted oats and rice crisps.

 They were discontinued, but I still tried one once.

Honey Oat CRUNCH bar.

This was a serious meh for me. I don't tend to like hard style granola bars, and this was no exception.  A hard, crisp granola bar.  Seemed very generic, although it had all sorts of different ingredients besides standard oats (rye flakes, barley flakes, rice crisps).  None of them really added any flavor, and this was majorly lacking in flavor.  I guess you don't expect much from honey oat flavor, but there was just nothing going on here.  It didn't even work chopped up on thrown on a fruit and yogurt parfait in place of granola. *+.

Mojo Bars

"Sometimes we get a craving for something sweet...and salty. That’s why we make CLIF Mojo™. It’s all about different flavors and textures to satisfy your sweet (and salty) tooth"

The Mojo line was the most candy bar like of all of their products.  Basically trail mix bars, loaded up with fruits, nuts, and candy.  Some are even dipped in chocolate.  They are sweet, salty, chewy, full of texture, and far less healthy.  These are of course, my favorites.  Yet, they were discontinued too.

Besides the soy rice crisps, they are mostly made from regular ingredients: whole macadamia nuts, peanuts, cashews, almonds, chocolate chips, peanut butter chips, white chocolate chips, pretzels, almond butter.  These are just sweet treats, no focus on sneaking fiber in there, balancing glycemic load, etc.  They are just for fun.

White Chocolate Macadamia.

First up, white chocolate macadamia.

This included pretzels, macadamia nuts, white chocolate chips, and cashews.  It sounded like a winner, but was a lot more bland than I expected.  It was mostly just sweetened stuck together soy crisps, with some pretzel pieces scattered throughout.  The pretzels didn't add the crunch nor the salt that I expected, and there was barely any white chocolate nor macadamia, so I didn't get any of those flavors either.  Sadness, as this sounded so promising!  Still, better than regular Clif bars. **+.

Dark Chocolate Almond Coconut.

"Toasted coconut, chunks of chocolate, and whole roasted almonds."

Now this was very good!

Generous sized chunks of chocolate and flakes of coconut.  Nice combination of flavors, good crunch, nicely sweet.  I didn't taste any salty component though, as advertised, but still, for a granola bar, this was quite good.  ***+.

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Other Varieties Tried.

• Dipped Chocolate Peanut: Peanuts, chocolate, pretzels, dipped in more chocolate.  This was  really great.  Whole flavorful peanuts, salty, and chocolately, all in one?  Yes please!  ****.  Subsequent review: Nice chunks of peanuts.  Slightly salty, kinda hard though, would have liked it softer.  Very little chocolate dip, just a thin layer on the bottom, so you don’t taste it much.  Good bits of pretzel, rice crispies, peanuts, and honey roasted peanuts.  ***+. 
• Mountain Mix: Made from almonds, peanuts, raisins, and chocolate chips.  It was really chewy, kinda hard to chew.  Least favorite that I tried.  Mostly just tasted like raisins and crappy peanuts.  Did not like. *+.
• Peanut Butter Pretzel: This has pretzels, peanut butter filled pretzels, and even more peanut butter. The chunks of pretzels were a good size, and it was a delightful mix of sweet and salty.  Really good. ****.

Builder's Protein Bars

"We’re all building toward something great. That’s why delicious CLIF® Builders® and CLIF® Builders® Minis offer complete plant protein, including essential amino acids to help support, rebuild, and repair muscles."

If regular Clif bars aren't substantial enough for you, the BUILDER's bars are a step up in terms of protein content, with 20g protein each.  Loaded up with all sorts of ... stuff.  Designed for building muscle.

They are layered bars, with the bottom layer made up of soy rice crisps, the top layer is a smooth concoction, and the whole thing is coated in chocolate.  Don't let the chocolate fool you.  They taste absolutely horrible.  I'd never eat these, even if I was a body builder.  There have to be better tasting ways to get an easy 20g of protein.

Cookies 'n Cream.

I lost my notes on the Cookies 'n Cream bar pictured here, but did try several others as well.

Crunchy Peanut Butter:

"No chocolate here, just a heap of crunchy, peanut-buttery, protein-packed goodness."

This tasted like paste. Not even really peanut butter flavored paste. Totally nasty.

Chocolate Mint: 

"Chocolate and protein don't get cooler than in this tasty, well-earned reward for a workout."

Every aspect of this was nasty. It did have a subtle mint flavor that was ok, but besides that, the flavors, the textures, everything was just really horrible. *.  Subsequent review:  I forgot how much I hated this before, and tried it again. So gross! The mint flavor was nice, but everything else about it was awful. *.

Organic Trail Mix Bars

"CLIF® Organic Trail Mix Bar is made for mixing it up and discovering all the good stuff the day has to offer. Combining simple and organic ingredients that are good for both our bodies and the planet, our trail mix bar comes in flavors for just about every occasion no matter where the trail takes you."

Next up, trail mix bars, another discontinued line.  These came in 4 flavors, all featuring dark chocolate: Dark Chocolate Almond Sea Salt, Dark Chocolate Cherry Almond, Dark Chocolate Pomegranate Raspberry, and Dark Chocolate Peanut Butter.

The bars are also organic and gluten-free.

Dark Chocolate Peanut Butter.

"Featuring big chunks of organic dark chocolate and organic peanut butter."

This one wasn't too bad for you, not too high in sugar (8 grams), and has moderate amount of protein (6 grams).

The base is a mix of peanuts, almonds, soybeans, and rice crisps, plus peanut butter and dark chocolate chunks.  The bottom side is coated with a dark chocolate coating.

I was pretty excited for this one, as I love peanut butter and chocolate.  But somehow, despite having both peanuts and peanut butter, I didn't really taste much peanut flavor.  The large chunks of dark chocolate were nice, but, the chocolate wasn't that intense.  The nuts were fine, but I didn't like the rice crisps.

It was also not soft, instead, it was a very hard style.  Not crispy like some bars, actually just hard.  I didn't like this. *+.

Coconut Almond Peanut.

"Featuring rich and nutty organic peanuts and organic coconut."

Like the other trail mix bar, this one isn't too high in sugar (6 grams), has a moderate amount of protein (6 grams), although might be a bit high in fat for some (13 g), due to the nuts.

The base is similar to the dark chocolate peanut butter, a mix of peanuts, almonds, soybeans, and rice crisps, plus coconut.  The bottom side was not coated like the previous bar.

This one actually tasted more peanuty than the dark chocolate peanut butter, but I didn't taste all that much coconut.  I again didn't care for the crisps.

This was a hard style bar, basically just nuts and the crisps bound together by sweeteners (tapioca syrup, cane syrup, and honey).  It wasn't bad, but, it just wasn't interesting. **.

Nut Butter Filled Bars

"The athletes and foodies in the Clif kitchen have crafted a different kind of energy bar. CLIF® Nut Butter Filled Energy Bar brings together two great energy foods – a delicious, creamy nut butter inside an organic energy bar – to deliver sustained energy."

Nut Butter filled bars are one of the newer product lines from Clif, bars filled with assorted nut butters.  These are small, but not light items, 230+ calories, and 5-7g of protein, designed truly for fuel for activity.  Some of these were decent.

Coconut Almond Butter.

"An organic energy bar filled with delicious, creamy almond butter."

I don't generally like almond butter as much as other nut butters, but I gave this bar a chance, since they were giving them out at an event I attended.  It was the first kind I tried.

And ... yeah, not for me.

The almond butter was blended with cashew butter, which didn't make it any better for me, since that was bitter.  I also didn't care for the date paste used as sweetener.  It did have nice coconut flavor to it though, and the texture (and oats) were quite nice, but, as someone who doesn't go for almond butter, cashew butter, and dates, this was just not for me. **.

Chocolate Hazelnut Butter.

"An organic energy bar filled with delicious, creamy hazelnut butter."

I moved on to a more promising sounding bar - chocolate hazelnut!

Again though, the nut butter wasn't quite as advertised.  The hazelnut butter was really a mix of hazelnut, cashew, and almond butter.  There was enough hazelnut though to balance out the others, so I didn't mind it too much.  The nut butter is also where the chocolate is, blended in, which I'm sure also helps mask the other nuts.  The filling was creamy and actually pretty enjoyable.  A healthy version of Nutella?

I again liked the texture of the outer part of the bar, the oat base was enjoyable.

This was far more successful than the first, and something I'd consider eating again, if I wanted a healthy but mid-range calorie bar. ***+.

Peanut Butter.

"An organic energy bar filled with delicious, creamy peanut butter."

Finally, my favorite kind of nut butter: peanut butter.  Yup, I guess I'm just traditional.

I was most excited for this filling, as it was just pure peanut based peanut butter, no other nuts mixed in.

The peanut butter was .. fine.  Better than the blended butters, but, it wasn't very creamy.  It was rather dry.  I actually preferred the chocolate hazelnut butter.

The wrapper layer was again decent enough.

This was very close to something I liked, I just wished the peanut butter had a bit more to offer.  And ... maybe some chocolate chips or something?  Still, I finished it with no problem. ****.

Chocolate Peanut Butter.

"An organic energy bar filled with delicious, creamy peanut butter."

I expected the Chocolate Peanut Butter to be like the Chocolate Hazelnut Butter.  That is, the oat based plain bar filled with chocolate nut butter.  Instead, it was reversed; the cocoa was in the bar, the filling was the same plain peanut butter from the standard peanut butter bar.

And again, the peanut butter just wasn't great.  Not that much flavor, not creamy.

The chocolate in the base didn't really come through.  Yes, it was dark, but, it didn't taste of much chocolate at all.

This was the bar I expected to be the highlight, since I like peanut butter, and chocolate makes better, but it really let me down.  I liked it less than the plain peanut butter.  ***.

Clif Kids

For kids, Clif has a number of product lines: zbar, zbar protein, zbar fruit & veggie, zfruit, and zfruit & veggie, the later two which ditch the grain, aka, bar, elements.

zbar

"CLIF Kid Zbar® is an organic, baked whole grain energy snack, made with a blend of carbohydrates, fiber, protein, and fat to give kids energy so they can keep zipping and zooming along. Our products never include high fructose corn syrup or artificial flavors."

I believe this was the first product line from Clif for kids.  Zbars come in 5 kid friendly varieties: chocolate brownie, chocolate chip, iced oatmeal cookie, iced lemon cookies, s'mores, all of which feature an organic oat blend as the base, with flax seed and soy butter, sweetened with cane syrup, maple syrup, and fig paste.  The bars are smaller than the adult versions, and come with attractive packaging and a drizzle over them.

Chocolate Chip.

"All the thick, chewy, goodness of a chocolate chip cookie – gone nutritious!"

The first zbar I tried was the chocolate chip.

Perhaps they can trick a child into thinking this is anything like a chocolate chip cookie, but, they sure didn't trick me.  I did not like this.

It was a dense granola bar, too bitter from the flax, and strangely sweet from the date paste.  Yes, there were tiny little chocolate chips, and a chocolate drizzle on top, but tasty this was not.

**.

Iced Oatmeal Cookie.

"A delicious and nutritious blend of organic whole grain oats with a touch of cinnamon and vanilla."

Next up, "iced oatmeal cookie".  Again, not a cookie!

A dense, hearty, healthy tasting oat based bar.  Yes, it had some cinnamon and vanilla, so had spicing like an oatmeal cookie.  Yes, it had a drizzle of icing on top.  But, no, a cookie it was not.

Maybe for a healthy bar it was fine, but if you want something remotely cookie-like, this is not it.

***.

Iced Oatmeal Cookie: Limited Edition (2022).

"A delicious and nutritious blend of organic whole grain oats with a hint of cinnamon and vanilla that your kids will ask for again and again."

The iced oatmeal cookie bar was reformulated, and came back out as a "limited edition" (that then stayed part of the lineup).   It looked nearly identical, but had 12 whole grains now instead of the prior 9 ...

My bar was approaching its expiration date when I ate it, which I think resulted in it being fairly hard.  I remember these being far softer?  I had boiling water on hand, and dipped it in that, and then microwaved on medium for a minute, and it totally transformed it - back into a nice soft moist bar, with melty little creamy sweet chips inside.  No, I don't think they recommend doing this to them, but it totally worked.  I really enjoyed the spicing, it reminded me of Christmas cookies, slightly gingerbread like, slightly, well, "holiday" spiced, if that makes sense.  The oat base made it a touch healthy and hearty tasting, but it was drizzled with very sweet icing, and the little chips inside made it even sweeter.

I knew not to expect a dessert-like cookie, so I pulled this out on a morning when I wanted a supplementary easy item with my breakfast, not a dessert.  While I still don't think this would ever satisfy my dessert cravings, I'll admit that it felt a bit too sweet and certainly more in the dessert direction than I had thought previously.  Think, breakfast appropriate if you also think a glazed cinnamon roll or donut is breakfast appropriate.

***+.

Apple Filled with Almond Butter.

"Oats, apples, and cinnamon, oh my! This organic, soft-baked bar with creamy almond butter filling is ready to take on the fly!"

This really was almost good.  It was just the particular flavors (apple, almond) that weren't great for me.

The soft, sweet, oatmeal cookie-like bar really did feel like, well, a cookie.  But it tasted faintly of apples, not exactly my thing.  The drizzle of icing certainly helped this feel like an indulgent treat.

The filling was a fairly smooth creamy almond butter.  A nice touch, except, I really wanted peanut butter.

So, very close to being something I'd like.  How about some kind of berry (strawberry, raspberry, etc) and peanut butter filled?

***.

Cinnamon Roll.

"Nothing warms your heart quite like a freshly baked cinnamon roll. Made with 12 grams of whole grains and swirls of cinnamon, this snack bar has everything you love about soft, doughy cinnamon rolls without the mess."

I kinda thought I had tried this flavor before, but, besides the vague memory that most of the ZBar varieties I tried always sounded like great desserts, but then, in fact, were not actually a "real dessert", I didn't remember this specifically.  And, it turns out, maybe I never did try it before?  I was surprised to find I didn't have a prior review.

I decided to try this for breakfast, alongside yogurt, fruit, and chocolate, you know, very balanced.  Cinnamon rolls, after all, are morning pastries right?

I took one bite, and decided breakfast was not appropriate.  Or maybe I just wasn't in the mood.  But I didn't dislike it, I just didn't actually want with breakfast.  The bar had a nice chew, a slightly hearty base flavor (yay whole grains?), and was plenty sweet from the drizzle on top.  It did, indeed, sorta taste like a cinnamon roll, in bar form.

I immediately set about getting some granola to throw on top of my yogurt + fruit instead though, and decided this would be best actually as a dessert, dunked into fall spiced homemade whipped cream, that of course I just happened to have.

***.

zbar Protein

"Made for little hands and busy bodies, CLIF Kid Zbar® Protein’s balanced blend of plant-based pea protein and crispy, delicious flavors make these bars a perfect back- to-school snack. Made with organic oats, these hunger-busting snacks also have no high fructose corn syrup or artificial flavors – and they’re non-GMO and gluten free."

The kid's protein bars, Zbar Protein, remind me of more standard protein bars, just made a touch more kid friendly - they use crispy bits, come in flavors that kids might be drawn to (chocolate chip, cinnamon crunch, cookies n creme, etc), and are slightly smaller.  But besides that, they are still protein bars, still have things like whey protein in them, and wouldn't really trick you into thinking they are a candy bar.

Cookies 'N Creme.

"Classic creamy cookie crunch."

I tried the cookies 'n creme flavor, which had a crispy chocolately rice base studded with a tiny tiny chips ("creme"?), and an undercoating of white creme.  The little chips weren't distinctly white chocolate, nor yogurt, but I liked them as little pops of sweet, the same with the coating on the bottom.  The bar had a nice chew, a slight touch of chocolatelyness.  It did sorta taste like cookies and cream.  It also had a touch of "protein bar funk", just that kinda odd-off taste that many have, although that was minor.  Perhaps the whey protein caused it?

Overall, better than many protein bars, and I liked the smaller size, but I'm not sure a kid would really like this, the slightly odd taste and bitter aftertaste doesn't seem particularly kid friendly.

***.

zfruit

The zfruit line has been discontinued, it was a foray into non-grain bar based items, instead, fruit sticks.

Clif Kids ZFruit Rope - Strawberry.

This reminded me of a fruit roll up in its flavor, but obviously wasn't thin.  I kinda liked the flavor, not quite real strawberry, but really not bad.

What I didn't like was the chew.  I wanted it chewier, like licorice, but it was softer.  I'm sure this appeals more to kids, the actual target audience for it, but I would have preferred something more substantial to bite into.

Overall though, tasty enough, and apparently, a full serving of fruit! ***.

Other Products

BLOKS Energy Chews

"CLIF® BLOKS® Energy Chews provide quick, chewable, energy to athletes while training and racing. BLOKS® come in 33 calorie cubes, with sleek and portable packaging, making it easy to customize and track caloric and electrolyte intake during long outings and races."

Shot Bloks are energy chews, like caffeinated gummy candy.  The ones I tried all had a good chew to them, decent flavor, and definitely gave me a kick of caffeine.  Whee!  I of course just ate them for fun, but they would make sense to eat during a workout for a little hit of power.  Dangerously tasty. ****.

Shot Electrolyte Drink

Another discontinued product, but in the same product family as the BLOKS, Clif also made a drink mix in several flavors.

Cranberry-Razz: Good flavor, sweet but not too sweet, and actually kinda refreshing. ***+.

Read More...

Soft Swerve, NYC

Update Review, August 2023

After several years, and a pandemic, of not visiting New York, I finally made it back this summer.  I had an agenda loaded with culinary adventures, and wasn't staying or working anywhere near a Soft Swerve location (they have multiple now!), but, I had such fond memories from past visits, that I managed to fit it in.  I visited their newest location, in Kipps Bay, and dragged a couple co-workers with me.

Soft Swerve still offers their standard (awesome) soft serve flavors, but they now also have a larger range of hard serve ice cream, and have changed up their toppings somewhat (alas, no more halo halo toppings).

Sadly one of the soft serve machines was out of order, so they had only four soft serve flavors available: vanilla, frozen hot chocolate, thai tea, and ube.  The ube I was delighted to see of course, but I was sad that the black sesame was not available.  I took the opportunity to try the two others.

Frozen Hot Chocolate (soft serve): 

"Made in house with real dark chocolate and our special blend of hot chocolate mix. This ice cream flavor is rich, smooth and creamy."

I tried this mostly out of curiosity, wondering what the distinction between regular chocolate and "frozen hot chocolate" would really be.  It turned out to be pretty uncanny.  It did, indeed taste like, well, frozen hot chocolate.  It had a much more cocoa-esque flavor to it than regular chocolate soft serve.  You could even sorta taste the marshmallows on top.  A very good chocolate soft serve, it turns out. The texture was perfect, remarkably creamy.  ***+.

Thai Tea (soft serve): 

"With hints of vanilla and subtle notes of sweet spices, our Thai Tea ice cream is made with tea leaves imported from Thailand."

The Thai tea was exactly what you'd expect.  Deep flavor, but fairly sweet, just like traditional Thai tea.  Light spicing.  And again, just, perfect consistency, so amazingly creamy and smooth.  Very good.  ****.

Black Sesame (hard serve): 

"Tastes similar to peanut butter but with rich roasted notes."

I tried a bite of my co-worker's black sesame hard serve.  It was very good - great nutty, slightly savory taste.  Fairly creamy, seemed like decent quality hard serve.  I still wished they had the black sesame soft serve at this location though. ***+.

Ube Cup. $7.50.

"A 5 oz serving of our most popular ice cream flavor, made with real purple yams. Definitely a must try flavor if you've never had it before. Pairs very well with toasted coconut and mochi."

I went for the ube soft serve, my past favorite.  It was again great - as with the other flavors, the consistency is what really sets it apart.  Amazingly creamy, rich, and smooth.  Stronger ube flavor than many other competitors.  Not too sweet.  Probably the best ube soft serve I've had anywhere.  ****+.

Not pictured is the toppings I added, as I had them on the side so I could create my own perfect creation.  The cotton candy crunch and mochi both went very well with it.

Cones.

Cake Cone. $0.25.

"Light, neutral-flavored, wafer-style cone with a crisp texture."

For me, soft serve is best consumed in a cone.  I got it in a dish so I could save part, and then create my perfect cone with toppings myself.  I added a cake cone on the side for $0.25 to do so (extra cone or dish is always $0.25).  I appreciated that they use the style of cake cone that is, well, a cone, rather than generic Joy cups with flat bottoms.  Eating out of an actual cone shape is more pleasurable for me, but I like cake cones more than sugar cones.  

Anyway, the cone was fresh, not stale, and exactly what I wanted.  ****.

Cotton Candy Crunch. $0.75.

"Featuring the pink, blue, and purple colors of standard cotton candy, this sweet crunchy candy topping will turn any ordinary ice cream serving into an extraordinary dessert treat."

I got this mostly for fun, as I wanted a crunchy topping, and because the regular rainbow sprinkles didn't look particularly interesting (just the standard generic kind).  Plus, bonus points for making a *very* Instagram worthy creation once I added to my cone.  I asked for them on the side in case I hated them though.

The verdict?  Yup, they were pretty, crunchy, and sweet.  Not necessarily strongly "cotton candy" flavored, but, sweet and enjoyable enough, and far more fun than standard sprinkles.  ***+.

Rainbow Mochi. $2.

The rainbow mochi was clearly quite fresh, very soft and pliable.  Great to just munch on, but also went well with the ube flavor in my soft serve.  I don't think they make these in-house, but, they picked a good quality product, and clearly store it well so it doesn't dry out.  Recommended, particularly with flavors like ube or thai tea.  ****.

Update Review, July 2019

My trip to New York *started* with Soft Swerve.  I have #priorities.

Literally, landed at 8:20pm, spent waaaaay too long in horrible traffic getting to hotel, checked in at 10pm.  10pm!  I was grumpy, I was confused about what to eat (too late for big dinner in this time zone, had been munching nontstop on the flight, etc), and soft serve ice cream was all I could think about.  Luckily for me, I knew Soft Swerve was a 14 minute walk from my hotel (or, 11 minutes, as I did it in a all-out power walk).  I literally checked in at the hotel, dropped my bags, and left, immediately.

11 minutes, plus a minute to wait for the one guest in front of me, and that was all it took for me to be instantly transported out of my funk.  Soft Swerve is just *so* good.

And pretty much exactly the same as my last visit.  Really friendly service.  Offers to try the flavors without me asking.

I did try the macapuno again, to give it another shot, and again didn't care for it.  The coconut flavor just isn't for me, although I think it likely is great with the ube, and you can swirl them.  I also tried the black sesame again, and did like it, the nutty nature was pleasant again, but ... this time, I went straight for the ube.  No need to mix it up here, I knew I had a winner.

My Creation: Halo Halo Toppings (base), Ube Soft Serve, Condensed Milk Drizzle, Rainbow Sprinkles, Mochi.

This was near identical to what I got last time.

Halo halo toppings in the bottom.  This time, ube soft serve only (the black sesame was good, but, I wanted #allTheUbe).  Same condensed milk drizzle and rainbow sprinkles on top, and this time, I added mochi was well.  They were nicely arranged around the edge.

The ube soft serve was as magical as ever.  Perfect consistency.  Soooo purple.  Lovely ube flavor.  Just, fantastic.  

The mochi was soft and a nice compliment, and the sprinkles were just for fun, but I loved them.  I wish I had left off the condensed milk this time though, as it made the whole thing just too sweet, particularly with the mostly sweet toppings in the base.  I think the black sesame was a more bitter flavor, and so that actually helped last time.

The halo halo toppings seemed to be a slightly different mix this time, but still included soft sweet red bean mash that I appreciated, you know, for the "protein", nata de coco and assorted jellies that were sweet and slimy and fabulous.  The palm seeds were definitely my favorite.  I'm not sure there was boba in here this time, I didn't find any, but then again, it was dark as I walked back to the hotel devouring it, so I may have just not seen them.

Overall, I was pleased with my creation, although it was kinda pricey.  $5 for the soft serve, $1 for mochi, $1 for halo halo, $0.50 for sprinkles, $0.50 for condensed milk ... $8!

I'd get this again, leaving off the condensed milk and adding something for crunch on top.  Or, if it was a nice warm day, I'd be more than happy with a colorful cone of ube soft serve, with rainbow sprinkles, and nothing more.

I wish I lived in NY.  Seriously.

Original Review, October 2018

OMG. <3. <3 <3 <3.

Yes, that is my summary of Soft Swerve, a Asian influenced soft serve ice cream shop in New York City.  The Yelpers agree, awarding 4.5 stars with nearly 1500 reviews.

It truly is some of the best I've ever had, and the toppings lineup is incredible.  In my "normal" life, I eat ice cream at least ... 5 times a week (often paired with a warm dessert), but when I visit the East Coast, I'm all about the soft serve.  It may be normal to folks who live there, but is a rare thing in San Francisco.

Luckily for me, New York is filled with soft serve, ranging from ice cream trucks everywhere, to fancier artisan places, to those that are all about the Instagram shots or "creative" flavors ... complete very long lines (hello, Big Gay Ice Cream, Dominique Ansel Kitchen, etc.  Of course I've tried those too (sorry, the burrata soft serve that Dominique Ansel I actually just didn't find very good ... it was icy and didn't taste like burrata at all, but the Cheetos soft serve with crumbled Cheetos on top at Big Gay Ice Cream was surprisingly delicious ... in small quantity).

Soft Swerve does create Instagram worthy ice creams (yes, colored cones, yes, a wall with the perfect backdrop for your snaps, etc), but they also don't complicate things too much.  And I've never encountered a line there.  And the ice cream is good.  Really, really good.

I don't know much else about them, not where they source the dairy, etc, etc, but I know this.  100% worth the trek.

Signage.

On the sidewalk is a chalkboard, I think with messaging that changes regularly.  I giggled when I read this one, but it did set off my "trying to hard" radar (unwarranted, luckily).

Menu.

Inside more chalkboards present you with your choices, and a step by step guide to ordering (not that it is complicated).

Step 1: Cup, classic cone (red colored, $1 extra), chocolate cone (black, $1 extra).  One size only ($4.50), besides pints.

Step 2: Flavor.  4 choices only: Ube (Purple Yam), Macapuno (Coconut), Matcha (Green Tea), or Black Sesame.  The first two and second two can be swirled, or you can layer 2 flavors.

Step 3: Toppings ($0.50-$1 each).  Many, many toppings, crunchies, drizzles, etc.  More on these soon.

You can also pick one of their pre-designed creations for $5.99.

Over my multiple visits, I tried all the flavors besides the matcha (since I was always visiting later in the day and didn't want caffeine).  All flavors were incredibly creamy.

Coconut is the one flavor I didn't select for my full size creations, although it was creamy, and good soft serve, the flavor wasn't as intense as the others, and I just preferred the ube and black sesame more.

Counter.

You order right up at the counter, where the toppings and cones are displayed in glass containers, just for looks.

More toppings display.

The toppings lineup is also on the other side of the area, in bigger jars, labelled.  It includes ...

Crunchies: Oreos, Toasted Coconut, Cereal Marshmallows, Cap'n Crunch, Reese's Puffs, Toasted Almonds, Freeze Dried Strawberry, Almond Cookie, Sprinkles, Chocolate Sprinkles, Fruity Pebbles, Skor Toffee, Crushed Nilla Wafers.

Chewies:
Mochie, Halo Halo Toppings

Drizzles:
Strawberry, Chocolate, Condensed Milk, Caramel, Dark Chocolate, Pineapple

Pick as many, or few, as you wish.

My Creation: Halo Halo Toppings (base), Black Sesame Soft Serve, Ube Soft Serve, Condensed Milk Drizzle, Rainbow Sprinkles.

For my creation, I went for the ube and black sesame.  Since they weren't on the same machine, I had to layer them.  I appreciated that I was asked which I'd like on top, and went for the ube ... yes, because I thought the purple would be prettier on top.

The black sesame is a wonderful flavor, nutty in a way that reminds me of peanut butter.  I think that a full cup of just that would be too much, but combined with any other flavor it works great.  So creamy and flavorful.

But the ube.  Swoon.  Again, perfectly creamy, and excellent flavor.  Seriously, one of the best ice cream flavors I have ever had in my life.  Anywhere.  I *adore* this ube soft serve.  It is perfection.

On top I drizzled condensed milk for a little sweetness, and it complemented the ube magically.  I added rainbow sprinkles, uh, for fun?  I love sprinkles, and I really appreciated the little bit of crunch and pops of color on top.

The base of the cup however is the most interesting part: Halo Halo.  I didn't realize when I selected it that it would be in the bottom, but, it made sense.  There was tons of this, and it was very fun to dig through and find all the bits.

Palm Seed.

The Halo Halo "topping" was a scoop each of sweetened red bean (actually really good, not mushy!), mochi (soft and pillow-y), nata de coco (slimy, slippery, and flavorful, great flavor alongside the ube), pandan jellies (more fun texture, but not much flavor), boba (good texture, not too firm, not too mushy), and palm fruit seeds.

I loved all these "toppings", on their own, combined, and with the ube soft serve.  It was like the merging of an asian dessert and soft serve of my dreams, and, yes, it was my dreams.

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New York Pizza Suprema, NYC

This past summer, I spent a month living in New York.  I enjoyed a glorious month of *real* summer weather (sorry, SF, 63* days do NOT count!).  And while I was there, of course, many culinary adventures were had.  Along with getting a few classics bagels (ok one from Liberty Bagels, great one from Murray's), of course I had to do the other cliche New York thing and get pizza.

I had a relatively short list of pizza places narrowed in on (which, is no easy feat, given just how many there are, and how *everyone* has a different place they swear by), and was agonizing over making this very important decision of where to go, when I lucked out, and an easy decision was made for me.  At my office, someone had an event, had tons of extra pizza, AND it was from one of the places on my list.  

The place in question was New York Pizza Suprema, which has been around since 1964. 

Storefront.

I swung by early on in my trip to scope it out, as I generally do.  NY Pizza Suprema is NOT fancy, in any way.  Definitely a no frills, slightly gritty place, located right near Madison Square Garden.  No dining area.

Box of Excitement!

The boxes tell some of their accolades, which of course include some "best slice" awards, but, nearly every pizza place around claims those.

The restaurant started out focused very solidly on *plain* slices and nothing more.  You simply could not add toppings. The owner believed in a quality product that didn't need to hide under toppings.  They do still highly recommend the plain cheese slice, but have since introduced toppings.  They make the sauce fresh daily, make their own mozzarella, and really do take pride in the product.  The menu is pizza, and only pizza.  They do not offer salads, subs, sides, or any desserts.  Pizza.  By the slice or whole pie.  They do have plentiful vegan offerings now, and toppings such as chicken parm or baked eggplant, not just your standard pepperoni/sausage/mushrooms/onions/peppers/etc, but they haven't strayed more than this.

Pizzas!

The hosts ordered quite a selection, and had plenty left.

I quickly snagged a few assorted slices, tried them cold, and then heated them up later at "home" in the toaster oven.  I was thrilled with my slices, and honestly, would have gone back for more if I could have.

Cheese. $28/pizza, $4 slice.

"Famed for receiving the only perfect score by the Slice Harvester who sampled over 375 slices in Manhattan. Our famous signature pizza with a light delicious thin crust slightly charred, topped with our famous homemade tomato sauce and imported Pecorino Romano cheese and finest Grande Mozzarella."

I started with the simple cheese pizza.  The baseline to judge any pizza place by, particularly as they tell you to, right?

I'll admit, one bite is all it took to tell me this was a good, very classic, slice of pizza.  The crust had a great chew.  Crisp but not burnt.  Right thickness to support the weight of the toppings and not be limp, but not overwhelm.  It didn't have a particularly interesting flavor, but, the makeup of it was all exactly what you want in a crust.  

Next, the sauce.  This was a saucier pizza than I was expecting.  Definitely sauce forward.  The sauce was good, slightly sweet.  But you definitely need to want sauce.

And finally, the cheese.  The cheese was a highlight for me.  It was perfectly melty cheese.  Great pull to it.  And they certainly don't skimp on that either.  Very flavorful cheese, about as good as pizza cheese can be really.

The pizza was sliced into proper huge slices, where more than one would be an undertaking.  

So overall?  Yup, perfect pedigree of a good slice.  Ratios all in balance, and, once you fold it in half, easy to pick up and eat, no fork/knife required.  Exactly what you want from a NY slice.  I'm not a huge pizza fan, but, I can't fault this in any way, besides maaaybe being a bit too saucy.  ****.

$28 price for such a large pie (or $4/slice) was quite reasonable.

Mushroom. +$6/pizza.

Next I moved on to a more interesting one, this one with mushrooms.  The base was exactly the same as the cheese - again, great chew, sturdy, saucy, awesome cheese.  It came very nicely loaded with cooked sliced mushrooms.  Every bite had plenty of mushrooms. None slimy. No complaints here.  ****.

Standard toppings are $6 each, and more premium offerings like breaded buffalo chicken, whipped ricotta, fresh mozzarella, fancy imported pepperoni are $8, again, quite reasonable.

Mushroom + Pepperoni. +$12/pizza.

And finally, pepperoni and mushroom.  

I got the last slice, which had suffered a bit in transit, but was still perfectly good.  Nothing more to say about the crust, sauce, and cheese.  All exactly as with the others.  The pepperoni was good too - somehow not too greasy, and it crisped up very nicely in my toaster oven later.  

This was my favorite of the three I tried, mostly because I really like toppings (ssh, don't tell the owner!).  ****.

I'm not sure if this was the standard domestic pepperoni (+$6) or imported pepperoni (+$8), as they offer both, but either way, I'd gladly get it again.

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Cape Cod Potato Chips

Update Review, 2023

Since rediscovering Cape Cod chips a few years ago, every time I visit the East Coast now, I make it a point to have at least one bag of Cape Cod Chips.  They really are quite good.

Sweet Mesquite Barbeque.

"We channeled our days grilling on the beaches of Cape Cod to craft a blend of tomatoes, onions and spices into a barbeque seasoning perfect for our chips."

When I think of a great bbq chip, these are essentially what I think of.  Super crispy.  Blistered.  Very clearly not a "light" style of chip.  True kettle chips.  Very zesty coating, deep mesquite flavor, tangy and smoky and sweet.

Maybe it is because I grew up with these, but, they really are a gold standard for me for a very good bbq chip.  4/5.

Original Review, 2020

Over the years, I've reviewed many snack foods, and many bags of chips, in particular.  By now, you probably realize that while I love taro chips, and other more exotic veggie chips, I pretty rarely get excited by plain old potato chips.  I see them as a vessel for dip, and little else.  Maybe sometimes I get drawn in by unique flavors in other countries, but besides that, chips? MEH!

But I recently re-discovered Cape Cod potato chips, and that all changed.

"We transform simple ingredients – hand-selected potatoes, oil and salt – into delicious, satisfying kettle cooked potato chips. Cape Cod Potato Chips are always made one batch at a time in our custom kettles to give them their distinctive crunch and unique flavor."

I remember Cape Cod chips from growing up in New England.  They were not the standard chip offering, usually we had Ruffles in our household, or Lays were common at sandwich shops or parties, but when we got to splurge for a fancy bag of chips at the convenience store, or perhaps at a friend's house, I remember getting Cape Cod chips, and being very happy with them.  They were always crispier, greasier, than others.

In my memories that is.  I didn't really trust my memories, but it turns out, this is one area where my memories lived up, basically, entirely matching accurate to my experience today.

Cape Cod chips are still based in Massachusetts, although they have expanded dramatically since when I knew them.  The classic chips come in different flavors.  They have reduced fat offerings.  Waffle cut or wavy style.  Um, "infused" chips.  Limited Edition flavors with partners like Samuel Adams Brewery.  But I can't tell you about any of those, as I had eyes only for the originals.

Classic Potato Chips

"Hand selected potatoes. Pure vegetable oil. Salt. How do you transform the simplest ingredients into such a satisfying kettle cooked chip? For us, it’s done one small batch at a time, using select potatoes, sliced thick and cooked at precisely the right temperature in custom kettles to a golden amber hue. No two chips are the same. Except that they all share a hearty potato flavor and that wonderful Cape Cod crunch."

The classic potato chips are what I always knew, and I didn't even know they came in multiple flavors (maybe they didn't before?).  But now they do, with flavors like Sweet & Spicy Jalepeno, Aged White Cheddar & Sour Cream, plus more standards like Sea Salt & Vinegar and Sweet Mesquite Barbeque, among others.

But I went for the originals.

Original Chips.

These are no frills chips, they really are just potatoes and vegetable oil and salt.

But somehow ... they are just really damn good.  Is it the small batch cooking?  Is it the oil they use? The potatoes?  I have no idea.  But they are really good.

The crispy factor is sky high.  Perfectly crunchy and crisp.  Salt level is high, but not over the top. Most are folded over in unique ways, making eating a bag an adventure in "what shape will come up next?".

They are highly greasy, leaving your fingers coated instantly.  You know they aren't trying to be healthier.  The bags are smaller than other brands, and that is ok, because, well, they are heavy chips.

I don't know how to describe these beyond just ... perfect crispy chips?  I honestly am just happy with a bag of these, alongside a salad (or ideally, a lobster roll, right?).  They are awesome tucked into a sandwich, particularly a BLT.  Sometimes I think about making onion dip, or something else to dunk them in, but really, they don't need anything.  Just perfect as is.

I'll devour a bag any day.

4/5.

Less Fat

The Less Fat lineup comes in Original, Sea Salt & Vinegar, Aged White Cheddar & Sour Cream, and Sweet Mesquite Barbecue, the later of which I immediately went for.

Sweet Mesquite Barbeque.

"We may have tossed our 40% Less Fat Sweet Mesquite Barbeque chips one more time in the kettle, but we seasoned them with the same delicious blend of spices so they taste just like our classic Sweet Mesquite Barbeque chips. 40% less fat than the leading brand of potato chip."

I didn't intentionally seek out Less Fat chips, but my office had them, and they were still Cape Cod chips, and were still barbeque, which I was definitely going through a thing for, so I gladly grabbed a bag.  I wish I'd grabbed a second (2 bags is just ... 120% fat right?).

They were perfectly crispy, I loved the bent over pieces, and they were oily, but in the right way, not the gross way.   Form factor: A+, and I think I liked the lower fat version more than the classics, actually.

The barbeque flavor was good, I prefer a less sweet version (these had sugar and molasses), but the flavor was complex with tomato, onion, garlic, paprika, and more.

A very solid chip, one I'd gladly get again.

4/5.

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Sushi Seki, NYC

In New York, there is no shortage of sushi options, spanning all price points.  It takes a lot for a place to stand out, but somehow, Sushi Seki did for me as I was browsing menus for delivery options on Door Dash.

Sushi Seki drew me in with the extremely large range of nigiri/sashimi options, with an entire section just for different tuna pieces (9 options, your standard chu toro, o toro, maguro, etc, plus a seared option, one topped with uni, and more), the same with salmon (5 options, inlcuding belly or king salmon, or seared, etc), same with yellowtail (7 options), shellfish (another 7), and so on.  The choices were extensive, and, key for me, I appreciated that you could order singles.  They also do offer a variety of of hot and cold appetizers, soups and salads, cooked entrees (such as miso cod, different teriyakis, katsu, tempura), a slew of rolls, and even carry Lady M crepe cakes (which I've reviewed before in Seattle) for dessert (along with others they make).

"Chef Seki along with his family of NYC’s finest sommeliers and sushi chefs are committed to the “never stop learning” attitude by creating and balancing the flavor of the fish with simple ingredients, a classic style, and expansive sake and wines, paired perfectly to each meal."

Chef Seki has a great story, starting in the industry as a dishwasher, and working his way up to cook, kitchen chef, and eventually, sushi chef, all in Tokyo.  He moved to NY city to further his craft.  He really does seem to embrace his mantra of "never stop learning".

Sushi Seki's first location opened in 2002 on the Upper East Side.  12 years later, the chef opened the second location in Chelsea, which is where I ordered from.  A year later, his third branch opened, which includes a 6-seat counter for omakase only dining.  

I ordered on Door Dash for delivery, and was quite impressed with the quality (and speedy service).  I'd love to try more of the lineup, and to visit in person sometime.

Side note: Stuck doing a lot of takeout and delivery these days? Want to try some free food and new pickup or delivery services?  Here are some codes for free money!

• Nextdish: ($10 off your first order) [ Delivery only ]
• Door Dash ($15 off, $5 each of your first 3 orders) [ Delivery or pickup ]
• Caviar ($20 off, $10 off your first 2 orders) [ Delivery or pickup ]
• Ritual ($6 off) [ Pickup only ]
• Delivery.com ($10 off) [ Delivery or pickup ]
• Grub Hub ($10 off) [ Delivery or pickup ]
• Seamless ($10 off) [ Delivery or pickup ]
• Allset ($5 off) [ Pickup only ]
• Nextdish: ($10 off your first order) [ Delivery only ]
• Uber Eats ($20 off - use code eats-lejw5 at checkout) [ Pickup or delivery ]

Hijiki Salad. $10.

"Cooked brown sea vegetable, watercress, tomato, cucumber, bean curd, carrot, daikon, and onion dressing."

There is a Japanese deli near me in San Francisco (Delica) that has a hijiki salad I adore.  I rarely see hijiki on menus elsewhere though, so I was excited to try Sushi Seki's version of the salad.  They also have a more traditional seaweed salad on the menu, along with a basic green salad and a snow pea salad, all with different dressings.  Salad didn't seem to be an afterthought here, which I took as a good sign.

I asked in the notes for the dressing on the side, I'm not sure if they normally do that for takeout or not.  The base of the salad was watercress, fresh, crisp, peppery.  Mixed in was a bit of shredded carrot, a few thin bits of bean curd, and of course, the hijiki.  All sprinkled with sesame seeds.  Mine didn't seem to have any tomato or cucumber, but I didn't mind.  I also didn't really find diakon, and I'm not sure about the cooked brown sea vegetable ... maybe that was lost in the mix?

It initially didn't look like it would be very hijiki forward, but the hijiki flavor was strong, and I enjoyed it.  I didn't find it needed the dressing (which was really quite thick, somewhat sour, and sorta an odd consistency, but did taste of onion as said it would), and just drizzled a little soy sauce over it.  Overall, very tasty, and I'd get again.  ****. 

Uni ($15), Lobster ($8), Anago ($10).

Uni:

Although this piece fell over in transit, it still stayed well put together, the nori wrapper holding it together tightly.  The uni portion was good, I think 4 lobes.  It tasted quite fresh, no funk to it, and was all an even color.  Sushi rice was an appropriate portion (not dominating), well seasoned, lightly sticky.  Overall, a very nice uni nigiri, and $15 price seemed appropriate.  ****.

Lobster (steamed): 

The lobster is the only piece that let me down.  The flavor was actually quite nice, and it was a big chunk, but, it was extremely chewy.  It was steamed, so fully cooked.  Great flavor, but hard to get past the chew.  **+.

Anago: "Wild seawater eel."

Sushi Seki offers 3 different types of eel sushi, the more common unagi (barbecued with sweet sauce), a chopped version with tempura crunchies, and this, anago.

It had been a long time since I had anago!  I've gotten sushi a dozen or so times this past year, but everywhere always has unagi, and not anago.  Sometimes I love unagi, but sometimes, I just am not in the mood for the heavy unagi sauce.  I was thrilled to see anago on the menu, and even more thrilled when I tasted it.  Great flavor, great texture, not slimy, just, really nice anago.  Sushi rice good, as with the other pieces.  I'd get this again in a heartbeat.  *****.

I appreciated the generous portion of nice pickled ginger (not the pink kind!), and plenty of wasabi, no skipping on those.  ****+.

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United Airlines, EWR - SFO, Business Class

Flight Details 

Flight: United Airlines Flight 2046
Aircraft: Boeing 777-200
Departure: 3:30pm (scheduled) 7:48pm (actual)
Arrival: San Francisco SFO 6:34pm (scheduled) ~11pm (actual)
Seat: 11A

This is not a flight that went smoothly.  It is a flight that got caught up in a ground stop due to dramatic storms, with new departure delays issued every 30 minutes, for several hours.  It is a flight that let people voluntarily deplane to go wander around, and then called folks back after not too long.  It is a flight that optimistically pushed back, only to have the ground stop extended for hours.  Yes, I boarded this flight around 2:40pm, pushed back from the gate more than 2.5 hours later at 5:20pm, and didn't take off for another 2.5 hours.  My transcon flight duration rivaled that of a flight to SYD instead.  

United however is not to blame in any way.  This truly was weather related, and every airport in the northeast had full ground stops in effect, for both inbound and outbound aircraft.  The airline kept us reasonably updated, and did their best to get us out before the crew timed out, so, although a bit of a nightmare, and a lot of stress, I don't have negative things to say about United through it all.

Service 

Our crew handled all of the drama remarkably well.  Our pilot updated us as often as possible, and was as transparent as he could be.  He even used phrases like "to prepare your mindset, here is what we are looking at", as he explained how things needed to progress for us to make actual forward motion.  

I learned all about how ground crews weren't allowed outside when there was active lightening in the area, and every time there was a new strike, a 10 minute counter had to reset.  I learned that even once the weather cleared around us, the storm had built up a lot of badness that hung over us to the west, and so even though it was safe for the ground crew to be out and about, and ATC was not opening up any "departure lanes".  I learned a ton about the pecking order that comes once a window does open for takeoff, and why pushing back from the gate mattered so much (besides the cynical part of "gaming" the stats, the crew getting paid, etc).  I learned about how long it takes to spin up the engines, and why sitting parked with them off was a reasonable thing to be doing.  I learned my patience for rowdy toddlers throwing hard dinosaur toys around and hitting me in the head with them repeatedly wears thin after a few hours (er, minutes really), and really laud the crew for their patience as they attempted to deliver meal while tripping over said toddler and his plethora of toys all over the aisles. 

The crew was definitely following some standard protocols as we hit certain time milestones: 2 hours sitting there? Offer to let people off.  3 hours?  Bring them drinks and Biscoff cookies.  4 hours?  Issue $20 meal vouchers (not that we could use them ... as we were on board, detached from the gate, and wouldn't get to SFO until after everything closed, and they expired that night).  It was all appreciated though, and the crew stayed upbeat throughout, even welcoming people back on in a joyous way when they came back after deplaning, "Glad you came back to join us!" "Nice to see you again!", etc.

Seat.

Before all that though, the flight started with standard service.  Waiting at our seats was the nice Polaris Saks Fifth Avenue blankets and pillows.  Not entirely necessary for a mid-day (or, supposed to be mid-day) transcon, but really quite nice, particularly once it did get so very delayed.

Amenity Kit.

The amenity kit really didn't offer much of interest: a thin eye mask, low end ear plugs, a bamboo toothbrush, and a few toiletries.  But again, not really needed for this flight.

Food & Drink

Even though this is considered a "premium" transcontinental route, from a hub to a hub, United does not offer pre-order for the meal service, and, even more ridiculous, is that there are only two options: chicken or pasta.  This has been the case, in both directions, for years.  You either get chicken/polenta/broccoli or chicken curry, or cheese ravioli in red sauce or butternut squash ravioli, depending on which direction you are flying.  Literally, the same options, for at least the past two years.  No changes.

There are no menus provided, but the FA walked through the cabin, taking orders starting with elites, then front to back, offering up chicken or ravioli, with no description of them (e.g. is there a sauce with the chicken? A side?).  There was no mention of it, but I knew all meals are served with a salad and bread roll, all at once.   The dessert cart has resumed, so there is a dessert option (usually a tart or cheesecake), or custom ice cream sundae, or cheese.

Drinks

Water bottles were waiting at our seats.

Pre-departure choice of water or sparkling wine was offered.  I asked for a sparkling water, but was told that could not be honored.  Once we were very delayed, another round of water and this time, orange juice, came around.  I again asked for sparkling water, and that time, it was honored.  

Red Wine, Sparkling Aha, Nuts.

Drink orders were taken prior to pushback along with our meals.  There was no drink menu provided, but I knew they had flavored sparkling Aha as a standard offering, which I always enjoy.  I asked about wines, and was told "white, red, or sparkling", with no details on the varietal, let alone the wine maker or country.  This seems pretty standard on United.  I opted for a sparkling Aha (they have two flavors available, I rotated between both throughout), and "the red wine".  

Once under way, our drinks were delivered relatively quickly, along with a warm ramekin of cashews and almonds, lightly salted.  The wine really wasn't bad, not too boring, not too much acid nor tannin.  I'd gladly get it again, and I do adore the Aha.  ***+ wine, **** Aha, ***+ nuts.

Main Meal

Meal.

Meals were delivered one by one on a tray with napkin, cutlery, salad, bread and butter, main dish we had ordered on the ground, and salt and pepper shakers.  

The service element was a bit lacking.  I appreciated that they didn't make us pull out our tray tables way in advance so they could set down a placemat like some airlines, but, they also just suddenly appeared with trays in hand and you could see every person scramble to pull out their tray table.  (Also, no placemat is a bit gross on a plane, as I don't think they sanitize the tables between flights?)

Salad.

The salad was very basic: a small handful of mixed greens, two mealy tomatoes, and three slices of cucumbers.  At least it didn't feature any odd combos of ingredients, and was greens instead of grains base, but, definitely left something to be desired.  The cucumbers were reasonably fresh.  The same packaged sesame ginger dressing that came with the old Asian slaw salad was provided, which I didn't use.  **+.

Light Wheat Roll.

United serves a number of different breads on their flights (never a choice, no bread basket).  The garlic bread has many loyal fans, as does the pretzel bun, but for me, I don't care for either of those (nor the crusty white roll), yet I strangely do enjoy the hearty wheat roll.  

This wasn't the hearty, seeded wheat roll that I really like, but it was a mild white-wheat, which I hadn't had before.  It wasn't warm, but I think that is just our service being a bit slow, as my main meal wasn't particularly warm either, and my nuts were cold even though the ramekin was still a bit warm.  It was soft, didn't taste stale, didn't taste too processed, was lightly hearty.  I wouldn't go out of my way for this roll, but, I don't know of any other airline bread/roll that I like more (besides the aforementioned more hearty wheat one).  ***.

"The Chicken".

For my main dish, I went for the chicken.  Yes, amusing as I don't eat chicken, but I've had the ravioli before, and didn't care for it, so I went for the chicken, even though I don't like chicken at all.  I got this for the polenta basically, and, hopefully, for the sauce.  I had my own meal with me, as I knew my choices were going to be those two items.  

The food was lightly lukewarm, definitely not hot.  The broccolini turned out to be broccoli, which I like more in general, but this was the type of broccoli that makes kids turn up their nose and not want to eat their vegetables.  Kinda mushy, waterlogged, flavorless. *+.

I didn't try the chicken, it had extremely fake looking grill marks on it.  Portion seemed reasonable.

I did try the sauce, which I was looking forward to, both for my polenta and for dunking the bread.  The FA described it as a "mushroom sauce" when I asked about it, but it didn't contain any mushrooms, nor taste like mushrooms to me.  It did taste a bit like a marsala sauce, but, one that didn't have mushrooms, and didn't the alcohol properly cooked out.  It was quite harsh, and also sorta tasted like beef, which was odd to pair with chicken.  It seemed like it would go better with Sunday roast, mash, and carrots than this.  It also lacked any seasoning.  I added salt, but, I still didn't care for the base taste.  Shame.  *.

And finally, the polenta, the part I was most interested in.  It was a round cake, I think likely the same as they use for the vegetarian chili and polenta meal, which I've had on several other flights (IAH-SFO, where I thought it was decent, and SFO-SYD where I didn't care for it at all).  It was fine.  Soft, fairly creamy inside, lightly cheesy.  But also essentially zero seasoning, and, not very warm.  I had my own sauces with me, and frustratingly shook that tiny shaker over and over to get some salt and pepper out, and enjoyed it well enough.  ***.

Dessert

The dessert is definitely the part of this flight (besides the private seat) that I was most looking forward to, since the return of the sundae cart.  I know the ice cream isn't amazing quality or anything, but, I do genuinely usually enjoy some of the toppings (and of course, came prepared with my own additional toppings too).

Dessert service is done via the trolley, which comes through after the main meal is done and cleared for everyone.  They use one trolley for both cabins, so it starts in the front business cabin, and then slowly makes its way to the back cabin where I was.  The delay between my entree and dessert was a full hour, which seemed a bit long.

Finally, it came my way.  The lineup included United's signature made to order ice cream sundaes, standard simple cheese plate, and an additional dessert of the day, which for us was an apple tart.  The ice cream is always just generic vanilla, but the toppings are where the glory is.  On today's flight, the toppings available were hot fudge or warm caramel, sliced almonds, tiny chocolate chips, whipped cream, and cherries.  Nearly everyone, young and old alike, was opting for the sundae.  The FA told me that sometimes she gets to see the true joy and glee in the eyes of very formal looking business people, or old men, as they craft their sundae, and it brings her actual joy too.  It turns out, ice cream in the sky really does delight many people.

I was kinda curious about the other dessert too, so I did ask if I could have both, and the FA looked up, saw how many were left and how few seats were remaining to serve (benefit of being in the back cabin I guess), and said sure.  She had at least a dozen left, and only two rows behind me.  

Apple Tart.

Starting with the apple tart, which, honestly, I got mostly out of boredom / very confused state of hunger due to the delays and very odd eating schedule.  That said, I know that for the "pie in the sky", or "pie cookies" as I dubbed them long ago, that United serves on non-premium domestic routes, or the cheesecake, if you are lucky enough to get that, is always Eli's, which really does make both tasty cheesecake, and tasty other desserts (many of which I've reviewed before), so I had reasonable hope that this would be good too, if it came from Eli's.  It did look quite a bit like Eli's Apple Bavarian Torte, which I've had before, just with extra caramel drizzled over the top?

Anyway, it was reasonable enough.  The crust was like a soft, buttery shortbread cookie.  Not too crumbly, not too dry, not card-board like.  Better than most commercial products of its kind.  The layer above that was sorta like cheesecake, just a touch more mild.  And then, the apples of course, lightly spiced, no aggressive nutmeg or anything.  I liked that they were a bit al dente.  It had a fairly generous drizzle of caramel all over the top, which I think was the same caramel from the sundaes, which I do truly enjoy. 

Overall, not bad, better than average airline dessert, and if you really don't want ice cream, a quite reasonable option.  Bonus points if you ask for whipped cream from the sundae cart, or, do as I did, and pair with ice cream too!  ***+.

Ice Cream Sundae: caramel, slivered almonds, whipped cream.

For the sundae, I went with caramel (the hot fudge is great too, but, I was avoiding caffeine at night), slivered almonds for some crunch (and a touch of protein), and of course, whipped cream.  I learned long ago that I don't care for their cherries, and the mini chocolate chips I'd happily get, but, again, caffeine.  I had my own fresh strawberries, blueberries, and sprinkles to add to it.  The FA added a considerable amount of caramel, three big spoonfuls, then she paused to hand something to the other FA who interrupted her, and she added two more.  I almost think she forgot how many she had already added?  It was a bit excessive, but, I do like the caramel.

I took my first bite eagerly and was, frankly confused.  Sure, I'm used to airline ice cream being served at totally wrong consistencies, often rock solid and requiring an excruciating wait before you can eat it, or fairy soupy, but this was ... well, calling it "melted" is an understatement.  Melted ice cream is generally still at least ... cold?  This was not even lightly chilled.  It was warm.  Warmer perhaps than even my main meal.  

Once I got over the surprise of not having actual ice cream, I was somewhat fascinated by it.  It was remarkably fluffy and frothy.  Sorta like a sabayon or zabaione, just, clearly it had some dairy in there.  The caramel mixed in to make the flavor sweet and actually quite enjoyable.  It truly wasn't *bad*, but it certainly wasn't ice cream, not even soupy, too melted ice cream.  It was warm frothy light sweet custard.  The slivered almonds added a nice crunch.  The whipped cream wasn't necessary up against the frothy base, and it was actually colder and more solid than the "ice cream".  It floated nicely on top.  I added my own fresh strawberries and blueberries, and truly enjoyed this creation, but, definitely not what they intended to serve, and I'm a bit shocked that they served it without any seeming concern.  Surely, the FA must have noticed as she spooned on the toppings?

As "ice cream", this needs to get 0 stars, but, given my enjoyment of the overall thing (which my own berries definitely were essential to), I give it ****.

Pre-arrival Snack

I was a bit surprised when at the 1 hour mark before landing, a FA came through offering either hummus or cheese plates.  I couldn't see them, as cabin lights were off, so didn't quite know what I was opting for, but blurted out "hummus", which is totally odd on my part, as I don't actually like hummus.  I think I hoped for yummy crackers or veggie dippers for it?  Really, I was not expecting a "snack" like that, as most of the competition on this route simply offers a pass of a snack basket (which, to be fair, I'd actually prefer, I'd love a bag of salty popcorn, something chocolate, etc).

Hummus Platter.

The hummus platter perplexed me slightly.  Yes, it had hummus, as expected, but it had nothing to dip in it.  Not crackers, not pita, not veggies.  Instead, it came with tabbouli, a wedge of lemon, and three grapes.  Sure, hummus and tabbouli go together well, and a little acid from lemon elevates most things, but ... it was an odd snack with nothing to spread the hummus on, nor dip into it.  

The tabbouli had an abundance of very harsh raw red onion.  It blew my palette out nearly immediately.  The lemon was nice to have, would have been nice with the main meal too.  Grapes were fine, not too mushy.  And the hummus?  Yeah, it was generic hummus.  Overall, very meh, and hard to eat in a cohesive way.  ***.

I later saw the "cheese plate", which actually turned out to be a cheese and charcuterie plate (surprise, vegetarians!), with what looked to be a wedge of very bright orange cheddar, a hunk of swiss, two slices of salami, and a slice of turkey, served with a packet of water crackers.  If I were to fly this route again, I'd opt for that for sure, as I do kinda like those crackers, cheese is usually fairly reliably ok, and, well, I do like salami from time to time.

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BBQ Catering by Back Forty Texas BBQ

I have no idea if the origin story of Back Forty Texas BBQ is true, but, its quite the tale.  Founder was playing poker, his opponent bet half his BBQ joint, founder won, and got half the BBQ joint.  Opponent gave him the back room of the restaurant, rather than the expected half-ownership, so founder set up his own competing bbq restaurant in that space.  It sat 40 people, and customers started requesting to be seated there, in the "back forty".  And so the tale goes.  But anyway, Back Forty Texas BBQ is a Texas style BBQ joint in Pleasanton, CA now.

"When you visit our BBQ Restaurant in Pleasant Hill, we’ll treat you like a guest invited to our home. Your food will always be prepared fresh-from-scratch, using the freshest and finest ingredients for our authentic Austin, Texas recipes."

I didn't visit the restaurant (er, "roadhouse & saloon"), but rather, got to sample their food at a catered company bbq.  They seem to specialize in large format dining, both through their catering, and banquet facilities.

Our hosts opted for the $24 per person basic menu, which included choice of 3 proteins (options were ribs, hot links, pulled pork, beef brisket, bbq chicken), and 3 "Fixin's" (choices of tossed green salad, caesar salad, garlic mashed potatoes, macaroni salad, beans, coleslaw, potato salad, fresh vegetables, corn on the cob), along with dinner rolls, pickles, red onions (?), and extra bbq sauce.  Tables, cutlery, etc, included.

The catering seemed well run, but the food was very mediocre.  Perhaps I am just ruined now, after visiting Truth BBQ in Houston several times last year?

Rolls.

I didn't try the rolls, as they looked fairly generic, and online reviews of even the dine-in experience mention how lackluster they are.

The decor was cute though, including in the serving baskets, very picnic vibes.

Creamy Potato Salad / Mixed Greens Salad / Pickles & Onion.

For sides, our hosts picked the baked beans (served warm), mixed greens salad, and potato salad.  Reasonable diversity, but I would have preferred macaroni salad, slaw, and mashed potatoes (or corn on the cob, if it was in season).

Mixed Greens Salad: 

This looked mushy and watery and way over dressed, so I didn't try it.  It seemed to really be just greens, nothing else.

Creamy Potato Salad:

This was a fairly mushy style of potato salad, or as they call it, "creamy".  Not really hunks of potato, very soft mush.  It had a acidic flavor to it that I didn’t care for, and a weird aftertaste.  **.

The random slices of red onions were fresh and crisp.  Pickles were tasty, generic, but tasty.  ***+.

Hot Foods: bbq baked beans, bbq chicken, pork ribs, hot links.

For proteins, the hosts picked ribs, bbq chicken, and hot links.  I was reasonably happy with their picks, although would have preferred pulled pork over the chicken, I know white meat chicken is the general crowd pleaser.  All were served over grill pans to keep warm.

Baked Beans:

The baked beans were fine.  Fairly soupy, and just small white beans, seemingly no different from what you'd get in a can, but the flavor was pretty decent.  I certainly would have preferred some onions in here, some bits of bbq meat, or a smoky flavor, but, they were fine.  Average for canned beans, below average for a bbq joint.  ***.

Sampler Platter.

In addition to the beans, went for some of nearly everything, skipping only the soggy salad and chicken as I don't eat chicken.

Hot Link Sausage: "Spiced pork link sausage with a mild kick."

The hot links were served already sliced, which was helpful for the outdoor picnic setting.  The casing was thicker than I like, was kinda tough to bite through.  Inside was unremarkable ... dense, compact sausage meat, slightly more akin to a thicker hotdog than a quality sausage.  A bit gristly.  Very mildly spicy.  Very average, no different from what you can get at a grocery store.  **+.

Pork Ribs: "National Award Winners! Slow-smoked and lightly basted with sauce."

And finally, the national award winning ribs.  They were the best part of the meal, but, only in that they were on the higher end of average, and certainly not anything that I'd expect to be award winning even at the local level, and certainly not nationwide.  The ribs had a relatively flavorful dry rub, a hint of smoke, and had a reasonable amount of meat on them.  Not too tough.  Again, just, slightly above average, what you'd expect from a mediocre restaurant, not on par with what you'd want from a place specializing in bbq.  ***.

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