Häagen-Dazs

Update Review, August 2024

Another year, another round of birthday freebies, and of course Häagen-Dazs was on my list, as they actually make decent ice cream.

Mint Chip.

"Sweet cream infused with mint and mixed with chocolaty chips make this a dreamy, cool classic."

For my birthday scoop, I was a bit boring, and got the mint chip.  I was craving it.

It was fairly basic, but I was in the mood for something simple.  Slight minty flavor, quality chips, reasonable number of chips and well distributed.  Nothing remarkable, but good.  No freezer burn, no icey chunks (ahem, Baskin-Robbins and your horrible scoop shop quality control!).  ***+.

Pistachio (new recipe).

"Lightly roasted and salted California pistachios paired perfectly with velvety pistachio ice cream."

Häagen-Dazs changed their pistachio ice cream recipe, and thus, they gave it for free to everyone (first 500 per location) to celebrate.  Of course I went for the freebie.

This is a flavor for those who truly like pistachio. Very intense flavor, both in the base ice cream and in the plethora of nuts it was loaded with. You really truly need to be in the mood for pistachio, but if you are, this one really delivers. ***+.

Update Review, 2023

Another year, another birthday freebies crawl, this year I was in Manhattan for my birthday, which meant I could get my free Häagen-Dazs for the first time ever.  Häagen-Dazs may not be the most exciting, but, I do find that I enjoy their ice cream, and for a generic grocery store brand, it is better than most.

My visit was to an actual Häagen-Dazs store, located in Penn Station.

Cookie Dough, Mini.  $5.99.

"For those who relish a taste of something playful, we re-created a childhood treat. We blend chunks of buttery cookie dough and sweet fudge chips with our finest pure vanilla ice cream. Ah, such sweet memories."

The Häagen-Dazs I visited only had 8 flavors available (Amtrak train station location).  I tried the butter pecan, but wasn't particularly into it, so, I went for cookie dough, without sampling.  It was decent cookie dough ice cream. I appreciated the generous size flecks of chocolate, in addition to the cookie dough pieces.  Basically bits of goodness in every bite.  Fairly nice quality vanilla base, I do always think Häagen-Dazs makes a nice vanilla.

Nothing amazing, but, a good reliable choice. ****.

Update Reviews, 2020-2021

I've reviewed Häagen-Dazs flavors before, both originally in 2013, and later in 2018, so these are just a few updates.  Summary?  While it may be an "everyday" brand, I do find the quality high, and their vanilla has become my go-to.  I'm eager to try some of their new "Spirits" line.

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Vanilla.

"Vanilla is the essence of elegance and sophistication. This marriage of pure, sweet cream and Madagascar vanilla creates the sweet scent of exotic spice and a distinctive taste that lingers on your tongue."

I've reviewed this flavor before, but it continues to surprise me every time I have, just how good it is.

It is *just* vanilla.  Vanilla!  Vanilla is bo-ring.  But this is really, really good vanilla.  Complex flavor (if that is possible with vanilla!), rich, creamy.

I think my favorite vanilla on the mainstream market these days.

*****.

Vanilla Chocolate Chip.

"Our delectable chocolate chips are swirled with our creamy, smooth vanilla ice cream, allowing two flavor titans to come together in this classically indulgent treat."

Given how much I've liked the vanilla before, it should come as no surprise that I adore the vanilla chocolate chip as well.

Same high quality vanilla base, with plenty of chocolate chips (er, chunks?) throughout.

****+.

Chocolate.

"Rich, creamy, and totally indulgent. Made from the finest cocoa and pure, sweet cream, our chocolate ice cream is the ultimate experience."

I often comment that I'm not really a chocolate ice cream kinda girl.  But, much like the vanilla, Häagen-Dazs has done something kinda magic with their chocolate ice cream.

Rich, creamy, indulgent.  Very very "milk chocolate", if that makes any sense.  I always really enjoy it.

****.

Update Review, January 2018

I've reviewed Häagen-Dazs flavors before, so these are just a few updates.

Chocolate Peanut Butter.

"We start with our legendary chocolate ice cream and swirl in ribbons of creamy, smooth peanut butter.  The experience is an irresistible blend of flavors in every delicious mouthful."

Well, this was delicious.  Rich and indulgent.

I'm not normally a huge lover of chocolate based ice cream, but, the peanut butter and chocolate combination is one that is hard to resist.  The ice cream was smooth and creamy, and the chocolate flavor fairly deep and rich.  A very good base.

The peanut butter swirl was excellent.  Very creamy, strong peanut butter flavor, smooth, and, most importantly, it came in very big globs.  

This also melted nicely, and it helped to make it melt a little so the peanut butter also softened.

Overall, very good, and I'd gladly have it again.

Peppermint Bark (Limited Edition).

"Celebrate the season with our rendition of this holiday classic. rich white chocolate ice cream is blended with crunchy chocolaty peppermint bark and peppermint candy pieces."

I didn't know this was white chocolate ice cream until I looked up the description later.  I thought it was a vanilla base.  Which tells you about how, uh, white chocolately it was.

I did like the bits of peppermint bark and peppermint candy though, so I got a scoop.  That said, it had a "fake mint" taste to it that I couldn't quite get past.

Overall, ok, but I wouldn't get again.

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Caramel Cone.

"We balance a creamy blend of caramel ice cream and rich caramel swirls with the sweet crunch of chocolaty cone pieces to create a sweet, harmonious bite."

This sounded far more exciting than it was.  It was just kinda sweet with a few assorted bits of chocolate covered slightly crispy cone chunks.  Better than Americone Dream from Ben & Jerry's because the waffle cone pieces weren't soggy at least?

I should have read my notes from last time, because, well, my opinion didn't change.

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Pralines & Cream.

"Ribbons of golden caramel and sweet nutty praline pecans swirled into our signature vanilla ice cream."

 This was very sweet, but about as promised.  Lots of caramel, lots of sweet covered pecans.  Fine, but you certainly needed to want sweet to enjoy it.

Again, I should have read my notes from before, because my opinion is the same.

Original Review, November 2013

As you may have noticed, I like ice cream.  Particularly when it is part of an elaborate sundae.  Or when served alongside warm pie.  Or soft serve, in a cone, with sprinkles.  But for the occasions when the ice cream craving hits and I'm at home, I always have my freezer stocked.  I have some favorite local brands of store bought ice cream from back in New Hampshire, but I haven't really found any here in San Francisco.  So I've been exploring all the widely known "premium" brands, like Ben and Jerry's, Baskin-Robbins, and now, Häagen-Dazs.  I'm not impressed.  This seems as generic as any other store brand ...

• Caramel Cone: “This creamy blend of caramel ice cream with rich caramel swirls balances the sweet crunch of chocolaty-covered cone pieces for a harmonious bite”. Tasting notes: Decent sweet caramel ice cream, nice crunchy chocolate cone pieces.  Better than the Ben & Jerry's version of something similar.
• Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough: "Chunks of buttery cookie dough and sweet fudge chips blended with our finest pure vanilla ice cream." Tasting notes: it was loaded up with generous chunks of cookie dough, but they weren't particularly good, and the ice cream wasn't very creamy.  Meh. [ Generous amount and size of chunks of cookie dough, good flavor. ]
• Praline and Cream: “Ribbons of golden caramel along with sweet and nutty praline pecans swirled into our signature vanilla ice cream.” Tasting notes: super sweet, too much sweet.
• Salted Caramel Truffle: “Smooth, sweet-cream ice cream, ribbons of rich salted caramel, and decadent chocolaty truffles”. Tasting notes: Not very caramely or salty.  Meh. [ Has little chocolate truffles in it, but not very creamy or interesting. ]
• Spiced Caramel Biscuit: “Crumbles of sugary, crunchy cinnamon-sparked biscuits blended into velvety caramel ice cream.”  Tasting notes: Biscuit pieces give a nice crunch, but otherwise boring and forgettable.
• Strawberry Cheesecake: Tasting notes: just sweet, not good.
• Vanilla: Tasting notes: This was probably my favorite of theirs, which is crazy, because it is so plain.  But it is a decently creamy ice cream with good enough vanilla flavor.  I don't ever want a bowl of it plain, but alongside some pie, or topped with berries and whipped cream, it can hit the spot!

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Klondike Ice Cream

Update Review, 2021

In early 2021, Klondike introduced a few new products, including new exciting flavors of cones and ... shakes.  Shakes? From the grocery store freezer aisle?  Yup.

Shakes

"Get ready for the greatest shake since the invention of milkshakes- all in a cool, convenient pouch. Deliciously creamy and loaded with great taste, these shakes are perfect for enjoying at home or on-the-go. So just sit back, chill out and slurp anytime, anywhere."

Ok, so, pre-made milkshakes?  Ones that, um, don't require any kind of shaking/mixing?  These didn't exactly sound promising.

Shakes come in three varieties, classic vanilla, chocolate, and strawberry (er, "Chill Out & Vanilla", "Wind Down & Chocolate", and "Sit Back & Strawberry").  I was only able to find the vanilla in my area, and I think strawberry is already discontinued, which was fine with me, as vanilla was my first choice.

"No blender, spoon, straw, cup, diner, or rollerblade waiters necessary to enjoy this mess-free marvel. Klondike Shakes come with a one-of-a-kind spill-proof pouch and built-in straw. Just shake, twist, and chill out in as fast as 3 to 5 minutes. Skip the burger & milkshake joint and make your next shake run to the ice cream aisle for the fastest way to shake on-the-go!"

Early reviews for these were ... interesting.  Nearly every reviewer said the "take out of freezer, wait 3 minutes" instructions were awful - that it took far, far longer for these to reach a soft enough consistency, 20 minutes or more.  They reported that the chocolate were far thicker, and never got soft enough (I couldn't verify, as sadly, I only found the vanilla).  They also said that these were ... not anything like milkshakes really.

And yet I was actually very, very excited for the Klondike shakes.  Why? Because many reviewers say that they taste like ... soft serve ice cream, particularly the vanilla ones.  Now, I could care less about milkshakes actually, but have a serious, serious fondness for soft serve ice cream, and that is NOT something you can get at home easily, so, I wanted to see if it was possible.  I think the only time I've seen soft serve packaged ice cream was in Tokyo, where in that magical place, even 7-Eleven had soft serve in a cone in the freezers (and other convenience stores, like Ministop, actually just have soft serve machines!).

Anyway, I live in the US, where soft serve at home is not a thing, so, if Klondike Shakes were even close, I was thrilled.

And, spoiler, thrilled I was.

Chill Out & Vanilla.

"We’re bringing all the joy of your favorite diner-style milkshake to your kitchen freezer! Twist open Chill Out & Vanilla to conveniently enjoy a classic shake with thick, creamy vanilla flavor blended together with Klondike frozen dessert anytime, anywhere."

I did attempt to evaluate the product as intended, as a milkshake.  And yes, other people were right - taking this out of the freezer and waiting 3 minutes did not yield a milkshake.  You could wait substantially longer, more like 15 min, or try warming it up in your pocket, but, 3 minutes, absolutely not.  The result once it softened was sorta akin to a milkshake, but even with the fairly innovative pouch, it was pretty hard to suck out.  Plus, you missed out on all the fun of using a straw, topping with whipped cream, etc, that you get with a real milkshake.

So, as a "milkshake", ***, because kinda annoying.  That said, the vanilla flavor was good - it did taste exactly like higher quality soft serve vanilla ice cream, with much more of a vanilla bean essence to it than something like McDonald's soft serve.

But I was much more interested in these for their likeness to soft serve ice cream.  After opening up a couple of these, I even found a technique to open along the seam of the pouch to easily extract the contents.  My method was pretty simple: pull one out, clean up my dinner dishes, and assemble the rest of my ingredients for whatever I was crafting (a sundae with hot fudge, bananas, strawberries, nuts, etc, etc), perhaps a cone with sprinkles, perhaps a warm piece of pie, crisp, or cobbler that needed to be served a la mode ... whatever it was.  By the time I was ready, so was it.  Cut it open, dump out the soft ice cream, enjoy.

It really was as close to soft serve from a machine that I can imagine getting at home.  Lovely soft consistency, not too melty, no icy bits.  Great vanilla flavor.  I actually really, really loved these, as soft serve.

The pouches are only 110 calories each, again, more like a tiny fast food soft serve than a milkshake, clearly.  They are kinda pricey for a small little soft serve, but, wow, so nice to have at home.

****+ as soft serve.

Original Review, February 2018

I've reviewed a lot of classic ice cream bars over the years.  Most fail to satisfy me, as I've turned into a snob, and these "ice cream novelties" and "frozen dairy desserts" just aren't exactly the quality level I've come to appreciate.

But I found a winner.  Klondike bars.

I didn't eat many of these growing up.  My family never had them.  Our school ice cream program never had them.  But I do remember liking them, although I rather suspected some of that was just the novelty of an item that came with a different wrapper style.  But maybe that is why I was so excited when I tried one recently?  They still are a bit of a unicorn to me, not a common item I encounter.

Klondike bars have been around since the 1920's, and are named after the Klondike River.  Their unique aspects are the fact that they do not have a stick, are square shaped, and have foil wrappers.  Klondike makes their signature bars in a huge variety of flavors at this point: original (chocolate), dark chocolate, double chocolate, heath, mint chocolate chip, s'mores, cookie dough swirl, krunch, reese's, oreo, caramel pretzel, brownie fudge swirl, neo-politan, and more.  Different flavors of ice cream, differing coatings, but all squares of ice cream coated in chocolate of some form.

The company also makes "Kandy Bars", described as "Klondike meets candy bar", shaped more like a traditional candy bar, but, made of ice cream.  And ice cream sandwiches, including Oreo ones (yes, with giant Oreo cookies and a ice cream filling with bits of oreo inside it (like what I tried in Canada, but made by Nestlé), and those made with Mrs. Fields Cookies.  They also are the maker of ... choco tacos!

Single Serve Klondike Bar.

Most Klondike bars come wrapped in that signature foil wrapper, but, single serve ones come in a more standard plastic bag wrapper.   I almost expected a foil wrapper inside, but, alas, nope.

The single serve bars are also 20% bigger than the standard, 102 grams instead of 85 grams.  The size threw me off a bit.

The Original.

"A huge hunk of creamy vanilla ice cream covered in a thick, chocolatey shell.  It’s simple, classic perfection — The best thing to happen to ice cream since, um, the invention of ice cream."

I had an original Klondike bar.  Just vanilla ice cream, just a plain chocolate shell.

The chocolate had a nice snap to it.  It was thick enough to taste, but not hard to bite into.

The ice cream was soft, sweet, and creamy.  I let it melt just a bit, and it got even better.

I really enjoyed this, simple as it was.  ****.

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Think Thin

I try to like protein bars, I really do.  Or maybe at this point I only do it so I can add to my review labels for bars?  Seriously though, if I could find one that tasted good, smelt good, had nice texture, and was good for me, I'd love it.

"Protein helps fuel a full, energetic life. And good nutrition should always be delicious. That’s why thinkThin® products are packed with protein and come in a variety of decadent flavors."

Think Thin wins on the "sounds good" front, and little else.  They make a ton of product lines: High Protein Bars, Protein & Fiber Bars, Protein & Superfruit Bars, and Protein Nut Bars, plus, uh, Protein Cakes, Protein & Fiber Oatmeal, Protein & Probiotic Powder, and Protein Smoothie Mixes.  

I tried several types of bars.  I can't say I want more.

High Protein Bars

"Our highest protein bar for consumers seeking post-workout energy or even meal replacement. Also great for those watching their sugar intake. 20g protein, 0g sugar, 0 guilt. Gluten Free."

These are the type of stats that should scare you away immediately.  There is no way something like this will taste good.  Where does all the protein come from? The "protein blend" made from why protein isolate, soy protein isolate, calcium caseinate, and casein..  Mmm, tasty.  Oh, and soy crisps too.

But the varieties available all sound good: "brownie crunch", "maple almond", "cookies & cream", etc.  Protip: Don't trust the names.  These things are awful.

Chunky Peanut Butter.

"This high protein bar packs the nutty flavors of chunky roasted peanut butter blended with cocoa and covered in luscious milk chocolate."

Ok, so, this looked, and sounded good.  Who doesn't love chocolate coated peanut butter?

First, the coating.  It looked like chocolate, but, it certainly wasn't creamy milk chocolate.  Made from "coating": maltitol, cocoa butter, chocolate, sodium caseinate, milk fat, soy lecithin, natural flavors. salt.  Yum.

It was tasteless and the layer too thin to be useful anyway.  So if you are looking for a chocolate flavor to compliment the peanuts, this is not it.  But that was the least of the problems.

Chunky Peanut Butter: Inside.

The inside was the problem.  This was just downright nasty.  It tasted like sawdust.  The consistency was sawdust.  It was really, truly, gross.  I didn't taste peanuts either, just, sawdust.  I spit it out.  I really couldn't swallow something so foul.

Wow, it isn't like I expected this to be good, but I certainly didn't expect it to be this bad.

Cinnamon Bun White Chocolate.

"A sweet yet spicy mouthful of exotic cinnamon wrapped in creamy white chocolate is a perfect choice for those who want a little adventure at 3:00 pm."

If at first you don't succeed ... try, try again.  Plus, who doesn't love cinnamon buns and sweet white chocolate?

The aroma on this was actually pleasant.  Cinnamon-y.  Really not bad.

The white chocolate "coating" was similar to the chocolate though, basically lost, just giving a touch of sweetness, an element of icing.

And it did taste like cinnamon.  But with a base of soy protein isolate, whey protein isolate, chicory fiber, and brown rice syrup, how tasty could it really be?  At least it wasn't quite as sawdust-y.

Crunch

The Crunch line seems to be a trial, with only a few flavors available, and no main listing on their website.  A lighter item.  I think they pivoted these to the nut bars?

Blueberry Mixed Nuts Crunch Bar.

"With 60% less sugar and 2x the amount of protein than leading fruit and nut bars, this delicious nutty delight is not only a good source of fiber packed with peanuts, almonds and cashews, but also has a generous helping of blueberries - natures jewels and nutrition-rich superfruits."

I obviously wasn't into the protein bars, but bars that have real nuts, and are just stuck together with sweetness generally appeal to me (at least, as much as any bars do).

Through the see-threw packaging, I could see that this bar really did look like sweet stuck together nuts, yet it promised to be a bit better for me, so I gave it a try.

I couldn't decide if I hated it or not.

Yes, it did have nuts.  Whole peanuts, almonds, and cashews.  And they were bound together by sweetness (brown rice syrup in this case).  But it had a strange bitterness, which, once I looked at the ingredients list, I realized came from chicory fiber (why was that in there?).  I also saw another gem hiding in the ingredients.  No, it wasn't the blueberries.  Soy crisps.  Made from ... soy protein isolate.  Sigh.

This was almost good.  Sweet sticky nuts ... almost.  But strangely bitter.

Lean Protein & Fiber

"At only 150 calories, thinkThin Lean Protein & Fiber™ bars deliver the perfect balance of 10g of protein and 5g of fiber to give you energy and help keep you full and satisfied."

Salted Caramel Lean Protein & Fiber Bar.

"Bite into smooth caramel covered in dark chocolate, with a crispy salty finish."

I'll start with the good.  The flavor was actually really great, salted caramel.  The dark chocolate coating was equally flavorful and deep.  Chocolate and caramel go together well.

But, how do you get 10g of protein and 5g of sugar into a 150 calorie bar?  With a base made from protein blend of soy protein isolate, whey protein isolate, and calcium caseinate,  And, you can tell.  The texture is strange, the taste is funky, particularly on the finish.  Sad, since it could be so tasty, but, destroyed by what it is.  **.

Oatmeal

Hot oatmeal is enhanced with additional protein and fiber, and comes in numerous varieties: madagascar vanilla with almonds & pecans, Farmer's market berry crumble, honey peanut butter, banana bread, apple spice, and original sprouted grains.

Packaging.

thinkThin uses a slightly different form than most oatmeal packets, and it contains a handy feature - you can use it as a measuring cup!  Yup, you dump the oatmeal into a bowl, and can use the packet to measure the water - the fill line is on the back.

Instructions are provided for either a microwave cook (add cold water, heat, stir, wait) or adding boiling water (stir, wait).

I went the boiling water route, as I already had water ready.

Original Sprouted Grains.

"Fuel up and feel great, with a warm, wholesome and delicious bowl of Original Sprouted Grains Oatmeal. It’s a protein and fiber fueled way to fill your day with plenty of positive energy. Each bowl is a hearty blend of whole grains, like whole rolled oats, steel cut oats, sprouted buckwheat and sprouted quinoa. The thick, rich texture is full of body and perfectly balanced with a mouthwatering hint of brown sugar. Made with just the good stuff and Non-GMO Project verified. So you can feel great about every single bite."

It looked like ... powdery oatmeal.  Not sure what I was expecting, but I think I thought there would be something slightly more interesting about it.  More bits of something perhaps, and certainly not all the powder.

Still, I added my boiling water, stirred, let it get thick, and tried to enjoy.

It was very meh.  Very boring.  The base is mostly just standard rolled and steal cut oats.  They were fine.  The sprouted grains, buckwheat and quinoa were minimal.  I did like the bits I got, they added great crunch, but, there just wasn't much of that at all.  I wanted more texture.

And then, the flavor.  This isn't a flavored variety, although it has a touch of salt and a touch of brown sugar.  It tasted odd though.  It tasted like fake sweet, which makes no sense.  The only thing I can think is that perhaps the chicory root fiber or soy protein isolate they add made the taste off for me?

I tried adding more toppings, but I still just couldn't get excited about this.  It really was a nice healthy bowl of seemingly quality oatmeal though.  **+.

Madagascar Vanilla with Almonds & Pecans.

"Power up-perfectly with a warm, wholesome and delicious bowl of Madagascar Vanilla, Almonds, Pecans oatmeal. It’s a protein and fiber fueled way to fill your day with plenty of positive energy. Each bowl is a hearty blend of whole grains, like whole rolled oats, steel cut oats, and the super-grain red quinoa. The thick, rich texture is full of body and perfectly balanced with a mouthwatering assortment of almond and pecan pieces along with real Madagascar Vanilla Bean-crushed for a sweet, creamy flavor."

I moved on to another good sounding version, this one promised me almonds and pecans, and vanilla flavor.  I was again hopeful for more texture, crunch from the red quinoa I knew not to expect, but I thought the almonds and pecans might deliver.  And maybe the vanilla bean would mask some of the strange flavor ...

But, alas.  Again, just powdery oatmeal.  Not much texture.  Not really sure where those promised almonds and pecans were.  And, no, I didn't taste vanilla either.  I didn't taste much.

Well, that is, except for the strange, fake sweetness that came on the finish, and lingered.  I really do not understand, as the only ingredients, besides the base whole grains, almonds and pecans, really are cane sugar, soy protein isolate, and chicory root fiber. The chicory root should be bitter, and I didn't think soy protein had a fake sweet taste ... but, this tasted, well, fake sweet.  I really did not like it.  **.

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Dough

Dough is a strange business.  They make two things: pizza and donuts.  This isn't all that strange, as, well dough is the base of each, but ... they aren't open past 2pm.  They aren't open at all on weekends.  So, a pizza place that is lunch only, weekdays only, that happens to also sell some donuts?  It just seems like a business model that wouldn't work out.  But anyway.

I've only had the donuts, but they aren't particularly special.

2023 Tastings

Assorted Donuts.

Dough makes all sorts of fun flavors, but this event had only basic chocolate and maple gazed, crumb, cinnamon sugar.  All were cake style donuts.

Chocolate Cake with Sprinkles.

I got the chocolate sprinkle.  It was a fairly greasy donut, kinda like NH style.  And a cake donut, which I don't usually prefer.  Nicely crisp though.  Good for a cake donut.  ***.

Donuts.

I clearly wasn't intending to review these, as my notes only say, "All were fine. Not great."

2024 Tastings

I haven’t really cared for Dough donuts before, but when a co-worker brought in a bunch, including raised donuts that I don’t think I’d tried before, of course I had to try.  Alas, they were not particularly good.

Cinnamon Roll.

First I snagged a hunk of the cinnamon roll.

Meh.  Tasted like bad oil.  Fluffy donut, good glaze, but not very fresh tasting. *+.

Strawberry & Cream.

Then it was time for ... the strawberry & cream!

Ok, so this looked awesome, and seemed far more interesting than a generic jelly donut.  In fact, it turned out not to be jelly at all, but instead, actually strawberries & cream.

But ... same meh donut base: fluffy, well glazed, but just not fresh tasting, old oil taste.  

Strawberry & Cream: Inside.

Inside looked great still but ... the strawberries were way too sweetened in goo, and didn't taste fresh at all.  

The white creme is the very fake style that I like for some reason (e.g. probably non-dairy, very sweet, and very stable due to all the chemicals).  So, yay for “creme”, but meh to the rest.  *+.

Sprinkle Iced Cake:

I also tried the sprinkle iced cake donut you can see in the background, just for completeness.  Very sweet icing, very sweet sprinkles, and again, fairly bad oil taste to the base donut. *.

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United Polaris, UA 194, SFO-MUC

Another day, another United Polaris flight, much like many others, although this one featured a unique schnitzel dish, and ... a mis-catered dessert cart that meant NO ICE CREAM SUNDAES.  Wah!

Flight Details:

• UA 194, San Francisco to Munich  
• Departure: 1:30pm (Actual: 2:10pm).  
• Arrival: 9:45am (Actual: 10:35am)
• Seat: 12A
• Aircraft 777-200

This is the story of a flight that took place during the historic geomagnetic storm in early May 2024. Very cool for those of you who got to see brilliant skies, but, not so great for those of us who were attempting to fly across the US, where almost the entirety of the airspace was closed due to the massive interference with radar.  This mean we took a looooong route around, and there was plenty of drama around connecting flights (including myself, we were wheels down to my connecting takeoff time of only 48 minutes, so once we deplaned, dealt with going through immigration to enter Schengen region, getting to the other terminal, and boarding it was very, very tight - and very very stressful!  Let's just say, I was one of those people running through an airport).  That all said, I don't blame United for any of that, it truly was a historic one-in-a-lifetime type of geographic event.

Service & Amenities

This was a standard Polaris flight, not long haul enough to qualify for extras like pajamas.  A fully loaded flight (in all classes) meant no extra blankets nor pillows nor mattress pads around.  

My flight crew were actually fabulous.  Friendly, welcoming, sympathetic to the drama that they knew most of us would have given the delay and long route.  Most of the flight was folks with connections, and, well, we were all in for misery ahead.

Speaking of misery, due to series of other unfortunate things, I booked this flight just the day before, which meant I got the last available seat, 12A.  So at least it wasn't a middle seat, but, 1) it was an even row, so not the private ones near the window, which yeah, is considerably less private, and my side table was on the wrong side for my right-handed nature 2) it is the only row with NO window, like, legit no window, which I didn't realize would matter so much, but it turns out to be pretty drab particularly for a day flight, and 3) in back cabin on a smaller aircraft with only one set of FAs for all of Polaris, so it took forever for service.

No PDB of any kind offered, standard water bottle waiting at the seat.  A hot towel was presented once underway.  Since I was in the back cabin, and this was the fewer FAs type flight where they serve the whole first cabin first, which, combined with a departure delay, the new service flow, etc, meant for a very loooong time before I even had a drink.

Food & Drink

Meal service has returned to the pre-covid flow finally though, with drinks and nuts served from a cart, followed by appetizer/salad/bread from a cart (in theory, not quite how it happened), and then main dishes delivered one by one.  A dessert cart follows (again, in theory, not really what happened) with the cheese, sundaes, and dessert of the day.  I didn't get a drink until after 3pm, nearly 2.5 hours after being on board.

Nuts, Aha
Elizabeth Spector Cabernet Sauvignon 2021.

Eventually once underway, I got my sparkling Aha, mixed nuts (cashews/almonds only, not really salted, warm), and red wine.  I opted for the cabernet sauvignon, they also had a pinot noir.

This was one of the better wines I've had on a United flight.  It drank a bit grapey, but was low tanin and acid, had a bit of complexity.  I'd try something else next time, but it wasn't bad.  Retails for $65, so also a bit splurgy for United.  Low ***.

Linner

With a 1:30pm departure (and then delay), and a 9:45am arrival, the main meal was kinda ... late lunch/early dinner.  Confused further of course by the fact that I ate in the lounge in the airport too, both because it was lunch time then, and because I had low hopes for the United catering.

Menu.

The menu was essentially the same as I had in January ex-SFO to SYD.  Simple salad.  Appetizers were the same burrata or shrimp machboos.  Choice of 4 mains.  Crumb cake or sundae.  Rinse and repeat.

Main Course Options.

The main dish was 4 choices, with a regionalized offering (pork schnitzel) replacing the standard beef option.  The others were the expected chicken, fish, or pasta:

• Lemongrass chicken with coconut jasmine rice, bok choy, grilled lemon cheek and Thai red curry sauce
• Butternut squash ravioli with Swiss chard and pepitas
• Grilled salmon with roasted green asparagus, lemon, thyme roasted red bliss potato wedges and turmeric lemon zest beurre blanc
• Pork schnitzel with creamy mushroom and pepper sauce, Yukon potato wedges with thyme, buttered baby carrots and lemon

I pre-ordered the schnitzel out of novelty/curiosity more than anything else, and hoping it would perhaps have tasty creamy mushroom sauce.  The chicken and salmon were both sold out already on pre-order when I selected my meal in advance, but I didn't want them anyway.  I was vaguely interested in the butternut squash ravioli, but reviews mention the sauce is greasy, and the chard bitter.  So, schnitzel it was.

Romaine Salad.

"with carrots and cherry tomato."

Our trays were delivered with just the salad on them.  About 10-15 minutes later, the cart came through the aisle with appetizers, and then a bread basket followed.  Very drawn out service.

The salad was pretty basic, yup, romaine, yup some not totally awful cherry tomatoes, a bit of carrot shards.  Standard balsamic vinaigrette that I didn't use.  It was what it was.  Low *** as it was boring, but nothing wrong with it.

It was considerably better once I added the dressing from the appetizer, and later, the main dish.

Shrimp Machboos.

"with tomatoes and mint yogurt dressing."

I had this before, and found it impressive in looks, but not taste, but, hey, it had been 4 months, maybe it got better?

It had changed, but I don't think for the better.  The shrimp were again ridiculously large. Seriously, they were such beasts.  It was impressive.  Tail on.  They looked great.

But ... wow, they were soooooo chewy.  It was a workout to cut them, to chew them, to interact with them in any way.  Just, not well prepared.  They also were flavorless themselves, no succulent nice shrimp flavor.  They had a spice rub on them, that was certainly flavorful, but, the shrimp themselves were remarkably tasteless.  So, tasteless, chewy, tough, but well seasoned in the rub I guess? Um, * for the rub, 0 stars for the shrimp themselves.

The mint yogurt dressing was a thin sauce in the bottom of the bowl, that I used with the salad, and that worked quite well.  *** dressing.   There were more random cherry tomatoes in this dish was well.

Dark Roll.

And finally, the bread basket came through with assorted breads to pick from.  I was in the back cabin, second to last row, so I had slim pickings.  I'm not sure if the crowd favorite garlic bread or pretzels were offered to others, but I had only sourdough, white, or dark to choose from.  I went for the later.

It was lightly warm, soft, and didn't taste stale.  Not particularly great, but not bad.  I still do like the wheat ones normally offered ex-SFO, was sad to not get one of those. Low ***.

Schnitzel.

"Pork schnitzel with creamy mushroom and pepper sauce, Yukon potato wedges with thyme, buttered baby carrots and lemon."

Ok, so for my main dish, I got the schtnizel.  Mostly for novelty, as it is unique to the German markets, and I didn't want the others anyway (which, my traveling companion who got the salmon confirmed was awful, and she couldn't really take more than a bite).  Also, I had feasted in both lounges, and it was a strange time, so I didn't really expect to eat much of this.

It was considerably better than I expected.  Now, was it schnitzel?  Well, not really.  It was thin mystery meat that could believably be pork, and it did have some kind of coating, but certainly not a nice crispy coating.  It had some bits that were chewy, but mostly, the meat was actually not bad.  Moist.  Flavorful.  Huh.  *** pork itself.

The "Yukon potato wedges with thyme" were more like halves of red potatoes, and I wasn't really into them, but the baby carrots were decent enough, they were mid-size baby carrots, soft but not mushy, and had been cooked with butter.  The mushrooms were boring button mushrooms, but, I like mushrooms, and they were fine.  So, *** vegetables too.  Nothing great, but not bad.

There was a big hunk of cooked lemon in the mix, that worked remarkably well with the salad creation I was concocting, and with the schnitizel.  Very juicy, and it livened up everything I squeezed it over.  Kudos to them for having the acid element.  

And finally, the creamy pepper sauce, that was again, pretty decent.  A thin sauce, a bit broken, a bit oily, but actually quite flavorful.  I ended up drizzling it over the rest of my salad, dunking my roll in it, and then, eventually, just lapping it up with my spoon like soup.  I liked that sauce quite a bit, even though more broth like than sauce.  ***+ sauce.

This all came together to be a pretty reasonable meal.  Not restaurant quality, not even the quality of nicer business class airlines, but, for United, this was certainly one of the best entrees I have had, as they are usually awful, and not edible.  ***.

"Crumb Cake" (aka, carrot cake).

Dessert is when the tragedy struck.  No dessert trolley made its way down the aisle, but instead, just the FA with a tray offering cheese or cake.  Wait, what?  Isn't this United Polaris?  That I fly mostly because they have ice cream sundaes?  (I mean, not really, but sorta).  It turns out that the ice cream was not loaded.  The toppings were, but not the ice cream.  Now, I honestly would have been thrilled with a big bowl of whipped cream, caramel drizzle, and nuts to go along with my berries and cheesecake I had with me for backup, but I understand them not wanting to set that all up just for the odd people who wanted toppings sans ice cream.

Anyway, ok, cake it was.  But ... it also wasn't the cake listed on the menu, which was the crumb cake.  It was the cake from the prior month's rotation, the carrot cake.  The same carrot cake that *hadn't* been loaded on my Sydney flight, so, hey, at least I got a chance to try it?

It was ... fine.  The cake was dense, moist, and spiced, but honestly didn't seem all that carrot.  No shards of carrot, no coconut, no nuts, no raisins ... a bit boring, but ok I guess.  The cream cheese frosting was thick, rich, and the best part.  Basically, low end average carrot cake. **+.

No port was offered, nor any other after dinner drinks.

Continental Breakfast + bowl of whipped cream
+ bowl of chocolate chips.

About 2 hours before landing some activity began in the cabin, with drinks offered to anyone who was up.  I opted for black coffee, it was fine.  1.5 hours before landing, the FAs came through to ask if you'd like the creamy eggs or oatmeal.  I've had both, and disliked them every time, so I declined, and opted for just the continental, which is fruit, yogurt, and a croissant.  

Of course, I first asked if the fruit contained melon, as I'm allergic, and luckily it did not.  The pineapple I skipped, the grapes were fine, the orange segments very refreshing after so many hours in the air. **+ fruit.  I did not have the yogurt, as I strongly dislike Chobani sweet flavored yogurt, and that is what United serves.

The croissant is never a strong point on United flights, but this was worse than usual.  Cold.  Smushed.  And tasted stale.  Normally they are at least not stale tasting.  Fairly dreadful. *.  Served with rock solid butter and reasonable jam.

Our flight did not have the ice cream catered, as I mentioned.  But the FA had mentioned earlier they had the toppings catered.  So at breakfast, I may or may not have said, "if you still have that whipped cream, I'd gladly take some with my breakfast ...".  She didn't skip a beat, and was more than happy to bring me the entire bowl of it, saying it was just going to waste anyway.  She asked if I wanted the slivered nuts for protein, or any of the other toppings.  I said I'd love a sprinkle of chocolate chips, and she brought the whole bowl, again saying, that they'd be trash anyway.  I gleefully kept the rest to sprinkle on things throughout the next few days.

So what was my actual breakfast?  Clearly not what United provided me  It was a scone I had brought with me, smothered in whipped cream and jam, with the United fruit plus my own berries, also covered in whipped cream and sprinkled with chocolate chips, and some nuts "for protein".  Given the fact that nearly every tray I saw with the eggs and oatmeal seemed to be going back with only 1-2 bites taken, I definitely feel like I made some winning decisions.

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Bi-Rite Catering

Update Review, Reception Catering, July 2024

I recently attended a reception catered by Bi-Rite.  I've enjoyed their breakfast catering at events in the past (see below!), and know the business has a good reputation, so I was pleased to see them picked as the caterer, rather than say, Costco platters.

Menu Part One.

We had an extensive menu: 3 platters, 2 kinds of savory tartlets, 2 kinds of skewers, 2 kinds of cucumber cups, and two desserts. 

Menu Part Two.

The menu cards were quite detailed, with all ingredients listed, plus easy to skim common allergen marking (e.g. gluten, soy, etc) and dietary preferences (vegan, vegegarian).

Platters

Platters are reception staples.  Bi-Rite offers all the standards: cheese, charcuterie, veggies.  Alone or mixed.  We had several different styles.

Specialty Cheese Platter. $235.

"Calling all cheese lovers! This elevated platter features five guest favorite cheeses, including: a buttery triple crème; a sharp yet milky cheddar; a bright and nutty semi-firm sheep cheese; an alpine that is robust and savory; and a semi-firm goat with truffle. These cheeses are accompanied with fresh and dried seasonal fruit, fig jam, almonds and cashews, and Rustic Bakery crackers."

Classic decent cheese platter.  I was a bit let down that the seasonal fruit seemed to be fresh grapes and dried apricots, which, given that it was peak summer, doesn't really seem so "seasonal".  

I tried the triple crème, and it was nicely oozing and soft, but I didn't find it particularly flavorful (I prefer a nuttier flavor to the rind at least).  The crackers were local Rustic Bakery flatbreads that are pretty good.  ***.

This was designed to serve 15 to 20. They also have a cheaper, smaller cheese platter.

Specialty Charcuterie Platter. $225.

"A robust selection of the most popular cured meats from our favorite makers. Salami Rosa, Soppressata, salami piccante, prosciutto, and duck pâté are garnished with marinated olives, housemade cornichons and pickled vegetables. Served with whole grain mustard and Rustic Bakery crackers."

Next was charcuterie, also designed to serve 15 to 20, which was priced slightly lower than the cheeses, a slight surprise to me.  It came loaded with meats as expected. The full lineup of meats was: Salami Rosa, Pate Rillette Perigord Natural (Duck), Salami Picante, Salami Sopressata, Prosciutto Sliced, the crackers were Rustic Bakery Olive Oil & Sel Gris Flatbread Crackers, and the pickled vegetables were carrots and cauliflower.

The pickled veggies were really quite tart.  I appreciated that they included a pate, as I do love a good pate.  This one was fairly lower end of average though, not particularly smooth, creamy, nor flavorful in the way I like.

Vegetable Crudité Platter. $85.

"A selection of #PeakofSeason, fresh, crisp veggies accompanied by our creamy, tangy plant-based Green Goodness dipping sauce."

The final platter, just veggies. Only designed to serve 10 to 15. 

The platter had a mix of raw (celery, bell peppers, carrots, cucumbers, radishes) and steamed (broccoli, cauliflower, green beans) vegetables.  While I do like all of the cooked ones cooked, I would have preferred them left raw.  Something about soft room temperature veggies doesn't do it for me.  But otherwise, these were fine vegetables, the fresh ones nicely crisp.  The green goddess dressing as a bit boring, not as herby or vibrant as it can be.  ***.

Skewers

Skewers are their most popular appetizers, available in 3 varieties.  All arrive cold and are meant to be served at room temperature.  All priced at 30 pieces for. $80.00, or 50 for $130.

Our hosts selected the most popular (chicken) and one vegetarian (tofu) for skewers. Bi-Rite also has mozzarella/olive/pepper skewers that our hosts did not select.

Ancho Chile Chicken Skewers. $80.

"Our most popular platter, tender marinated free-range chicken breast is grilled and served with a tangy chipotle-lime aioli dipping sauce."

I don't care for chicken, so I didn't try these.  I did try the aioli, and found it pretty bland.

Sesame Glazed Tofu Skewers. $80.

"Locally made tofu is marinated with soy, sesame, and ginger then grilled for a delicious plant-based appetizer. Served with a tamari ginger dipping sauce."

The tofu had lovely grill marks.  I didn't try it.

Cucumber Tartar Cups

Cucumber cups ... I'll admit I haven't seen these on a cocktail reception menu in years.  Something about them kinda screams out dated to me.  Yes, cocktail menus often have tartar, and yes, it often comes on top of something grabble, but wonton chips, squid ink crackers, nori wraps, and the like seem far more common as a base, or, tartar comes in a cute little cone.  But Bi-Rite has chosen cucumber "cups", which were really just big hunks of cucumber, as the base.  Available in two varieties,  30 Pieces for $80.  We had both.

Albacore Tuna. $80.

"Jewel-like cubes of albacore tuna are dressed with an umami-rich, tamari-based sauce and mixed with diced, ripe mango, and scallions before being scooped into a crisp, refreshing cucumber cup. Garnished with black sesame furikake for added flavor and depth."

Albacore, while probably the most consumed form of tuna in the US, is a bit of a non-standard option for raw tuna, compared to something like ahi.  But Bi-Rite uses albacore.  It was diced and mixed with little bits of mango for a fruity sweet pop and slightly tropical slant.  It was fine, but the sauce/marinade I didn't really taste, so besides the mango, the flavor felt a bit flat.  Luckily, we had the tamari sauce for the skewers that I used to amp it up a bit.

Fine, but nothing special, and the thick slice of cucumber really dominated.  Low ***.

Salmon. $80.

"Jewel-like cubes of Skuna Bay salmon are dressed with an umami-rich tamari based sauce and mixed with diced scallions before being scooped into a crisp and refreshing cucumber cup. Garnished with shaved bonito flakes for added flavor and depth."

We also had the salmon option, same base, same fine dice.  This one was a bit more flavorful as the marinade had gochujang and sweet miso in it, but there was still minimal saucing.  The cucumber again dominated.  But the fish was fine, not chewy, not fishy, etc.  Another low ***, and I had no clear preference between the two.

Tartlets

Bi-Rite has two small savory tartlets available, both vegetarian. 30 pieces for $65.00, 50 pieces for $95.00.  Our hosts selected both.

Sweet Corn and Goats Cheese. $65.
(Seasonal).

"Featuring seasonal sweet summer corn and roasted piquillo peppers paired with creamy cheeses on a buttery tartlet crust. These handheld bites are perfect for everything from lunch meetings to happy hours, receptions, and dinner events."

These sounded almost awesome to me: ricotta cheese, onion am, sweet corn ... but, they had goat cheese, and I just really don't care for goat cheese.  I skipped them, but nearly went back to try them several times.

Roasted Mushroom and Truffle. $65.

"Our most popular appetizers are back and better than ever! These buttery tartlet crusts are topped with an elegant combination of roasted mushrooms and cauliflower, along with black truffle tartufata and delicate cheese for a creamy, savory bite."

Well, these were a true delight.  I'll admit that I didn't really taste truffle, but, the filling was creamy, super rich in umami flavors, and just very enjoyable.  I didn't detect the cauliflower either, nor the cheese precisely, as mushrooms were the dominant flavor, but I really did love the complex flavor.  The savory tart shell was better than average too, made with a mix of different grains (wheat, rye, spelt, barley), so it too had some complexity.  

My favorite item, and I was happy to go back for more of these!  ****.

Desserts

Of course, sweets are an important part of an event!  Bi-Rite has cookie, brownie, and blondie platters, mini tarts, cupcakes, full size cakes, and pudding jars.  Our hosts only went for tartlets, available in two kinds: lemon meringue or chocolate salted caramel.  I didn't try the lemon meringue, as I don't care for meringue.

Chocolate Salted Caramel Tartlets. $50.

"These delightful tartlets feature a buttery, pastry crust filled with soft salted caramel cream, a layer of decadent dark chocolate glaze, and then topped with chocolate cookie crumbles. They're a delicious, perfect end to any get together."

This was a decent little sweet treat.  Lightly soft, lightly sweet tart shell that wasn’t particularly good nor bad.  Fairly standard thick, sweet, rich caramel.  I didn’t particularly taste the salted element.  A bit of chocolate ganache on top.  Basically, sweet, caramel forward, fine, but not really memorable. ***.

Original Review, Breakfast Catering, May 2018

Bi-Rite Creamery.  A SF institution.  The lines for the ice cream on a rare warm SF day are well known (which, I've never really understood.  Its fine ice cream, but, honestly, I've never been that impressed). 

"We may be known for our ice cream, but we started as bakers! Today our team bakes sweets like the ones we grew up with.  Our changing menu reflects the fruits offered by each season as well as holiday classics like pumpkin pie, Christmas stollen and hot cross buns."

But did you know that Bi-Rite started as a bakery?  And is actually known for their baked goods?  I didn't either, but, I was eager to learn more.

The bakery wing of the creamery makes a slew of items, ranging from cupcakes, bars, cookies, and puddings, to beautiful cakes, to breakfast pastries.  They are available at the Bi-Rite Markets, or, through their catering service, which is how I had them.

Granola. $45.

"Maple and brown sugar granola with almonds, sunflower and flax seeds, unsweetened coconut, and raisins." 

This was interesting granola.  From inspection alone, I did not think that I'd care for it.  It really looked quite plain, was loaded with way too many raisins, and had no chunks. Not my style at all.

My feelings on the raisins didn't change much (yup, raisins, but at least they were soft and not hard pellets, and yup, way too many).  And I did wish for chunks of granola (it did have chunks, they, uh, just were all of raisins).

But it was good.  The almonds surprised me, they were a small size, and well roasted and sweetened. Really crunchy and somehow more flavorful than your average almond.  I also liked the crispy coconut flakes, which the description said were unsweetened, but really did taste sweet to me.  Which is probably why I thought the granola was decent, as it was beautifully sweet from maple syrup, brown sugar, AND honey.  And it very crisp, toasted with butter.

The flax and sunflower seeds gave a bit of bitterness, but not too much, and I didn't mind them at all, another surprise.

So for the style of granola it was, I liked it.  Better as finger food or with milk than yogurt.

This came served with our choice of Straus whole milk yogurt or Clover 2% milk.  It was a huge bowl of granola, but $45 still seems a little pricey for a few tubs of yogurt and granola.

Fruit Salad. $60.

"Freshly-picked, peak of the season fruit salad."

The fruit salad too was actually really quite good.  The pineapple and cantaloupe I didn't care about, the blueberries were good but nothing special, and the kiwi and mango were both fabulous, really juicy, really ripe, nicely sweet.  I almost wonder if they had some agave drizzled over it all?  They were too good to be "just fruit"!

Again, a big bowl, but, $60?  Maybe it was reasonable for this premium fruit.

Mini Pastry Basket. $45.

"An assortment of 32 of our favorite mini pastries to start your day."

The part I was obviously most excited for was the baked goods.  Bi-Rite has many different options for catering pastry baskets - just croissants/danishes, just scones, or mixes, full size or mini.  This was the most inclusive option - mini mixed.  So I could try ... everything.

The selection changes depending on what they want to send you, so we didn't get any muffins, nor quickbreads, which was fine with me.  What we did have was plain croissants, pain au chocolate, almond croissants, cinnamon rolls, and struesel coffee cake.

Yes, I tried them all (except the plain croissant).  They were mini, after all ...

Almond Croissant.

I started with what looked the most decadent, an icing drizzled almond croissant.

It was ... eh.  Fine.

The pastry was a bit spongy, not very flaky.  The sweet glaze on top was nice.

Almond Croissant: Inside.

And it wasn't very well filled.  The gritty almond filling wasn't particularly great either.

My least favorite, not recommended.

Coffee Cake.

"Warm cinnamon and brown sugar coffee cake baked from scratch."

Better was the coffee cake.

The cake was just sour cream pound cake, dense, moist, not dry, very buttery and rich, but, still just fairly plain cake.

The streusel though was good, brown sugar, cinnamon, and regular sugar, and I appreciated the layer both on top, and the layer in the middle.  Nicely sweet.  Lots of sugar.

My third pick, because of the topping, but still not an item I really wanted more of.

They also sell the coffee cake whole for $40.

Pain au Chocolat.

Things improved with the pain au chocolate.

The pastry was a bit better, more flaky, more crisp, but still not that great.

What was great was the filling, three large bars of totally not melted quality dark chocolate.  I really liked the chocolate.

My second favorite, because I liked the chocolate, but, a stellar pastry it was not.

Cinnamon Roll.

And finally, I saved the best for last.  The cinnamon roll.

This was actually quite good.

I really liked the sweet dough used, good flavor, good texture, just a bit crisp.  The filling was cinnamon and sugar, again, lots of sugar, which created caramelized edges that seeped out.  And of course, icing on top for more sweet.

This was certainly my favorite and one I'd gladly have again.

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