Health Warrior

Chia Bars.  Protein Powder.  "Mug Muffins".  All healthy.  All loaded with protein.   Dairy free, soy free, gluten free, non GMO, low sugar.  Those are the products that Health Warrior makes.  Yeah, not exactly things I gravitate towards, with the exception of the suspicious sounding "muffins", as I do love my baked goods.

And yet I tried their entire product line, during a time when I was trying to incorporate more protein into my diet.

I can't say I'll be getting more.

Protein Muffins

"Breakfast muffins ready in a minute."

Sounds too good to be true right?

"Health Warrior’s new Protein Mug Muffins are a warm, spoonable muffin with 12g of plant based protein and only 6g of sugar. They are made from superfoods like sorghum, pumpkin seeds, flax seeds, and almonds. Plus, they are dairy free, soy free, gluten free, non GMO and contain no stevia or sugar alcohols."

Healthy muffins, high protein, no crap, variety of flavors, and ready in a minute?

Yup, to say I was skeptical is an understatement. 

"Ready in a Minute"

They come in a variety of classic muffin flavors: blueberry, banana nut, double chocolate, and peanut butter chocolate chip.  I tried them all.

Peanut Butter Chocolate Chip Mix + 1/4 Cup Water.

The instructions are simple, all the same, but do require a 1/4 cup measuring cup.  This is "baking" after all, and I knew from reading reviews that eyeballing the amount is not recommended.

Step 1?  Add 1/4 cup cold water.

Chocolate Peanut Butter: Mixed.

Step 2?  Mix well.  Again, I knew from reviews to do this right: mix *well*.  Put some energy into it.

Step 3?  Microwave for 45 seconds to 1 minute.

Mine seemed a touch wet (instructions warned it might be), so I did the additional time.

Chocolate Peanut Butter: "Baked".

Step 4?  Let stand 2 minutes.

So, "ready in a minute", not exactly, but certainly less than 5 minutes.  Easy, but, requires *some* precision.

One baked, it looked ... um ... interesting.  I expected it to rise up and well, look like a muffin in some way, which it clearly did not.

But I'll admit my creation smelt good.  Lovely aroma of peanut butter. But it certainly didn't look like a muffin, and I was still curious about the whole "spoonable" aspect.

Chocolate Peanut Butter: Melty Chips.

The first one I tried was the chocolate peanut butter, the one I was most excited for.  

I dug in.  Melty chocolate chips were studded throughout.  This was a good thing.

But a muffin this was not.  It was not even really a bread ... it is very hard to describe the texture.  I guess, imagine what a gluten-free, dairy-free, etc, etc microwaved creation would be like, and you probably can figure it out.  Kinda dense, not fluffy, kinda crumbly, but not like a muffin ... it was odd, really.  

The peanut butter flavor was there, although not as intense as I was hoping.  The aroma was stronger than the taste, but I could taste peanut butter, which I liked.  I didn't taste too many odd things from the variety of flours (sorghum, almond, tapioca) and proteins (fava beans, pumpkin seeds, flaxseed).  I liked the little melty chocolate chips.  It was almost ok.  Although "ok", with a very strange texture.

But what I haven't mentioned is the dominant taste.  An odd sweetness.  Sure, they don't use Stevia, and don't use regular white sugar, but primary flavor was just an odd, odd, sweetness.  I think this must be from the monk fruit extract?  They also use brown sugar, but it wasn't what I was detecting.

I could get past the texture, unique as it was, I could even enjoy the peanut butter and the chocolate, but ... I couldn't get past that strange sweetness.

Also, it was just a bit ... boring.  I know it is a healthy breakfast item, so it doesn't need more, but for me, it did.

I added my favorite hot fudge (shhh, don't judge!  I wanted to add more chocolately element and mask the sweet!) and I added whipped cream, and I did actually sorta enjoy it this way.  Warm baked thing, melty bits of chocolate, peanut butter and chocolate combo, a la whipped cream?  Was it healthy now?  Nope.  Was it vegan now?  Nope.  Was it breakfast?  Ha.  But I liked it, and it did have more protein than my normal breakfast ...

I almost added butter (it *is* a muffin after all), and would consider that with the other flavors.

Update Review:
I tried another a few weeks later, again trying for breakfast, and finding it too ... boring.  Again I wanted stronger peanut butter and chocolate, and the texture was so odd, but really, it needed something added.  So I added.  I added a bunch of chocolate ganache, a few disks of white chocolate, and a bit more of my favorite peanut butter.  Warmed it all up.  Now it had lots of chocolate and peanut butter, both really melty, and more sweetness.  And I put whipped cream on top.  I actually quite liked it, but, I had added quite a bit at this point, and, uh, definitely was no longer eating a guilt free breakfast.

I think these might be well suited for dessert.  Warm, with ice cream, more like a chocolate peanut butter cake, could work much better? Or maybe just with fudge and whipped cream as I did for breakfast ...

Banana Nut: Mixed.

I moved on to the next flavor.  Banana nut.

While stirring, I noted that I certainly didn't smell banana, and I didn't really see or feel many chunks of banana ...

I stirred it well, and it really did come together a nice batter consistency.  Into the microwave it went for a minute.

Banana Nut: Cooked.

After a minute it still did seem wet, so I let it go the extra 15 seconds as advised.  Still looked a bit wet, but I decided to give it the 2 minute rest time, and went to make my coffee and see what I returned to.

Banana Nut Muffin: Baked!

This one actually came out the best, texture-wise.

It extracted from the cup in one piece, and, actually kinda did look like a flatter, denser style muffin.  Or mini cake I guess?

The texture really wasn't bad - it wasn't strangely wet, it wasn't dry.  Sure, it wasn't a crumbly muffin, but I knew not to expect that at this point.  A warm, dense but moist cake.  Not bad.

The taste though ... banana haters did not need to fear.  This didn't taste like banana much at all.  Honestly, I didn't detect *any* banana to it.  There were a few tiny chunks of nut, I guess, almonds say the ingredients, but again, so few it wasn't really noticeable.  Almond was an odd choice, normally a banana nut muffin would have walnuts?

It mostly was just very, very boring, lacking any flavor I wanted.  It still had a bit of a funky flavor, I don't mind the strange flavor from the flours, but the sweetener still got to me.

While it was warm, I slathered a chunk in copious amounts of butter, and it was significantly better that way.  I spread chocolate ganache on another, and that was considerably better too.  And the final chunk I spread on warm melty peanut butter.  Also better (although a bit too dry).

I salvaged this one, but didn't want another.

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Blueberry

Next up was the blueberry.  Classic muffin flavor.

Well, it had little tiny bits of dried blueberry.

But without something like chocolate or peanut butter to add any real dimension, it was just the odd texture, odd flavor, and ... lacking.  Adding *copious* amounts of butter added a little something, but, this just wasn't a winner.

My gluten-free low sugar friend also didn't like it, and he is used to foods that are like this ...

Chia Bars: "The 100 Calorie Real Food Bar."

"With only 100 calories and 3g of sugar, Chia Bars are the perfect fit for your healthy lifestyle. They're made with real, plant based ingredients that fill you up without weighing you down. Plus, they're dairy free, gluten free, soy free, and non-GMO."

Ok, so, pre-warning: I hate chia seeds.  I just find them bitter, and a odd flavor that I can't ever get over.  And I *loath* them when made into slimy chia pudding.  So I fully admit that this product is not one that would ever normally appeal to me.

The bars come in some very tempting sounding dessert flavors, not just simple Dark Chocolate (or Dark Chocolate Cherry, Dark Chocolate Peanut Butter), or Caramel Sea Salt, but also Strawberry Shortcake and Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough.  And in fruity varieties, not just basic fruits like Banana Nut or Apple Cinnamon, but also tropical flavors, Coconut, Acai Berry, Mango.

But I know better.  Good sounding flavors do not change the makeup of the bars, and, I suspected these would go the way of most other nutrition bars, no matter how good of flavors they have.  I was given one to sample though, so, I had to try it, right?

Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough.

I had the chance to try the chocolate chip cookie dough, made with the base of white chia seeds, brown rice crisps, and rolled oats, bound together with cashew butter and chicory root fiber, and sweetened with brown rice syrup.  And then, yes, some chocolate chips, vanilla, sea salt, etc.

I actually wanted to like this.  I almost liked it, in fact.

The texture wasn’t that bad, it was clearly a healthy protein bar with a kinda mushy base to it, but I liked the crunch from the chia seeds, and it broke apart nicely.

I liked that I could see, and nearly taste, the little chocolate chips.  It held promise of the “cookie dough” flavor it was.

But … underlying it all was a horrible, horrible bitter taste that I just couldn’t shake.  So close to being good, and far better than I expected actually, but not the right thing for me.

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From The Ground Up Snack Foods

Snacks, snacks, snacks.  One of my favorite food groups.  (Shh, yes, snacks are a food group, and every balanced diet includes copious snacks right? How else do you maintain level blood sugar all day when eating so much chocolate and desserts?)

Um, yeah, I love snacks, I love munching on things, both sweet and savory.  And bonus points, I guess, if they products have some redeeming healthy qualities.

"At Real Food From The Ground Up, we like to keep it real – from our ingredients to our message. Why? Because we’re real people too! We know the daily struggle to make good snack choices, and that’s why we’re raising the snack bar with our plant-based snack family.

Our snacks are packed with REAL Cauliflower and Butternut Squash to give you more of what you love - MORE flavor, MORE crunch, and MORE bites per serving. Everyone should live healthier and snack happier without any ‘snack-rifices’... come along and let’s get our snack on."

I was thrilled to discover Real Food From The Ground Up, a snack food manufacturer, that tries to throw in some veggies to their munchy foods.  Their products also happen to be vegan, gluten-free, non GMO, etc.

Real Food From The Ground Up produced 5 product lines: chips, crackers, "stalks", pretzels, and tortilla chips.  I was able to try both pretzels and stalks, one of each.  I loved one item I tried, and would gladly try more, particularly any of the chips, or the new carrot crackers ...

Stalks

The stalks are veggie and grain based, gluten-free like all their products.  Available with either butternut or cauliflower, each in two flavors.  Butternut squash stalks come in savory sea salt or sweet cinnamon.  Cauliflower stalks are available in savory sea salt or cheddar.

Stalks.

If you are expecting these to scream "BUTTERNUT SQUASH!!!" or "CAULIFLOWER!!!" you will be disappointed, as the first ingredient is actually cassava.  They also have rice (white and brown) in the base, along with the butternut squash or cauliflower, and a host of other veggies (spinach, broccoli, beets, tomatoes, shiitake mushrooms).

That said, I still liked them, and found them to be a fairly unique, fun product.

Cinnamon Butternut Squash Stalks.

"No puffery here in our salty and sweet snack - just downright delicious cinnamon sugar flavor."

My mom picked these up, but I was interested in try them, excited about the idea of butternut squash snacks.  She opted for the sweet ones, cinnamon flavor (not a savory one I'd pair with my lunch as I was hoping, thinking of them like, well, chips).

I still liked them though - the crunch was good, the texture was great, and the form factor quite fun.  I think the savory varieties would make for decent replacements for regular potato chips, or fries.

These however, were not something I'd pair with a meal, much more appropriate for a snack.  The cinnamon variety is dusted with cinnamon, brown sugar, and some other seasonally appropriate spices like nutmeg.  They are slightly savory, but mostly sweet and well spiced, no spice overwhelming the other.  They taste like ... fall.

They certainly are not that sweet though, I'd never consider these a dessert product.

They were satisfying as a snack, one I quickly got addicted to, and I may or may not have stole the whole bag.  I think would pair great with sliced apples spread with peanut butter for a lovely fall snack for any adult, or child.

****.

Pretzels

Pretzels also come with either butternut or cauliflower focus, in twist or stick form.  The pretzels, just like the stalks, have a cassava base, and a slew of other veggies along with the butternut squash.

They do not have the rice component in them like the stalks however.  Only one flavor is available in each form - butternut ones with turmeric and cinnamon mixed in, along with a salt coating.  The cauliflower skip the spices, and are just salt and yeast (?).

Butternut Squash Pretzels: Original.

My store only had the butternut, so, butternut it was.

Butternut Squash Stalks: Original.

"This one sticks to the basics - salted on the outside with a crispy bite."

These are pretty classic pretzel sticks - same size as you'd expect, big salt crystal coating.  

They were ok, and tasted much like other gluten-free pretzels I have had, and liked (e.g. Pretzel Perfection, my normal go-to).  Strangely, I generally do prefer gluten-free pretzels to regular ones, even though I am a gluten eater.

That said, these had a bitterness that I really wasn't a fan of.  And I didn't really taste butternut squash, nor the cinnamon and turmeric, but they were nicely salty.

Basically, a fine gluten-free pretzel stick, if you like those, but, not special, sadly.

***.

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Mezcla Plant Based Protein Bars

I have tried a *lot* of bars in my time.  No, no, I'm not talking about the places where crowds of humans used to gather, drink, and be merry, I'm talking about bars the food products.  Generally trying to be quasi-healthy, often boasting high protein, usually non-GMO, gluten-free, etc, etc.  They started life as simple granola bars (like Quaker), and have evolved from there (like Nature Valley or Kind bars).  Available in every country (like Nakd bars, Alpen light, and Perkier bars in the UK or Go Natural, Be Natural, and SuniBrite in Australia).  Sometimes sold as meal replacements (like Quest), other times as breakfast items (like Bobo's oat bars, which I actually do like!), sometimes for sports recovery (like LUNA bars and LÄRABAR) ... you know the type.  They frequently have great sounding flavors, and most often, never even remotely live up to the names (why *did* I believe "Cinnamon bun white chocolate" by Think Thin would be good?).  Sometimes they try to do good for others, or the planet, like This Bar Saves Lives.  Or they go totally roque, like the meat and veggie bars by Wild Zora.  Or they just *sound* appealing, like Awesome Bars.

Yet still I try them.  I try them all (ok, all except those with whey protein isolate in them, because, alas, I've learned the very hard way that my body does not like whey protein).  And yes, most I try, I review, and I never get again.

Enter Mezcla.

"We are a delicious vegan bar that brings you the flavors of the world in a healthy and crunchy snack. With 10G of Protein, 170 calories, and a Pea Crisp base coated in vegan chocolate, Mezcla bars are bringing innovation and personality to the protein bar space."

I read the tag lines.  The bars are vegan, gluten-free, etc.  Yup, yup, I know the type (e.g. Raw Rev vegan bars).  Looking closer though, I was thrilled to see that the protein content comes from pea crisps (made from pea protein and rice starch), along with chickpeas, sunflower seed, and crispy quinoa.  No isolates, no soy, and best of all for me, no whey protein (my body hates it!).  

The flavors, although few, are unique, and are actually ones I'm interested in.  Not just because they *sound* good, but, because they are things I actually enjoy.  Matcha.  Cocoa peanut butter.  

There was a lot of promise here.  But still, protein bars?  Tasty?

It turns out, yes, yes they do exist.  Finally, I found a bar that delivered.  I highly, highly recommend these bars.

Even just opening the package of the first bar I could tell these were different.  They don't look funny, they look like, well, candy bars?  And turns out, they taste like them too ...

Mexican Chipotle Hot Chocolate.

"Have you ever had a warm cup of Mexican hot chocolate? If you have, you know the delicious sweetness it packs along with a little extra kick. If you haven’t, try this bar and find out what you’ve been missing. "

I opened my first bar one morning post workout when I was really really craving chocolate.  I expected to pick this flavor last, as I adore matcha and chocolate-peanut butter (the other flavors I had on hand), but, I  wanted just chocolate that morning.  Stat.  This bar sounded like just the thing.

I was quite pleased when I opened it.  It really did look appealing.  A well sized bar, full of crispies (made from pea crisps, sunflower seeds, chickpeas, and quinoa), and, yes, actually coated in chocolate.  Coated on one side, drizzled on the other.

I eagerly bit in.  So so many of these bars go wrong from that first bite, before you even get to taste, as they often have a strange texture.  I was overjoyed to find this one didn't have an odd texture in any way.  It was crispy.  

And the flavor?  It was good!  Basically, I felt like I was eating a crispy candy bar (but hey, the crispy was pea crisps, sunflower seeds, chickpeas, and quinoa!).  There was plenty of chocolate, both in the bar itself and in the generous coating.  Mezcla does not skimp on the coating.  Sure, there was mostly healthy things lurking in here, besides the chocolate, I was literally eating chickpeas, sunflower seeds, pea protein, and chicory root fiber ... but it sure didn't feel that way.  The hint of chili pepper gave it a touch of a kick, and the cinnamon came through on the finish, completing the "Mexican Chipotle" aspect of it.

I liked it.  Mexican Chipotle isn't *really* my thing, and actually I'd probably like this more just as a chocolate variety, no chipotle, but, it did make a fairly interesting flavor.  I enjoyed my crispy, chewy, decadent tasting bar, and was rather thrilled that I got 10g of protein (170 cal, 6g fat) in such a fun way. 

***+.  I couldn't wait to try the next flavor.

Peruvian Cocoa Peanut Butter.

"For those of you who aren’t quite ready to totally abandon the classic protein bar flavors you love, we took the already delicious chocolate peanut butter combo and made it even better. "

Next, I grabbed the Peruvian cocoa peanut butter.

I think I was really in the mood for this at the time.  I loved it. 

I again liked the crispy bits (pea crisps, quinoa, amaranth) that make up the base, and really loved the bits of peanut in it for crunch and pops of peanut intensity.  Besides the bits of peanut, there was not a super strong "peanut butter" flavor, but the peanut was present enough.  

And of course, it had an excellent chocolate coating, made with Peruvian cocoa.  A hit of pink sea salt amped up the flavor even more.

Just, truly a joy to eat.  I had it for breakfast alongside a cup of coffee and felt like a rebel, but I imagine it being a great snack bar, post workout, or even a dessert.

Again, like eating a candy bar ...  Can't wait get my hands on more of these.

****+.

Matcha Vanilla.

"Satisfy your matcha cravings with this deliciously smooth, earthy protein bar. This unique pairing perfectly satisfies that worldly sweet tooth you didn’t even know you had."

I saved the matcha vanilla for last, expecting, actually, to like it the most, as I usually love matcha, and am generally more into matcha than chocolate.

It turned out to be my least favorite.

It wasn't bad at all, same crispy base (pea crisps, quinoa, amaranth, sunflower and pumpkin seeds), this time with a vanilla coating.  And of course, matcha powder.  Like the others, it ate very much like a candy bar.  Very sweet.

But the matcha flavor was not very strong.  In fact, honestly, I barely tasted matcha.  The crunchy bits were all the same great texture, but they too didn't have as much flavor, at least, compared to the awesome peanuts in the Peruvian Cocoa Peanut Butter or the zing in the Mexican Chipotle Hot Chocolate.

So, overall, a sweet candy bar, with no dominant flavor.  Still fun to eat, and certainly still a very tasty way to get 10g protein, but I greatly preferred the others.

***.

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Gelato Fiasco

First, let's just get this out there.  If you think grocery store packaged gelato is not "real gelato", then guess what?  Yeah, I basically agree.  I've had some *incredible* gelato in my days, but it has always been from a shop, prepared only a few hours at most before.  The grocery store stuff generally is no different than any other packaged ice cream.  The serving temperature obviously has to be the same as standard freezer temp, like all other household frozen goods, so that softer texture due to higher serving temp distinguishing characteristic isn't there.  However, if a company brands itself as "gelato" rather than ice cream, they likely really do use lower milkfat.

I eat a ton of frozen dairy treats, obviously, but I don't generally prefer one style over another.  Some occasions (like, you know, warm fruit crisp) call for hard plain ice cream, others (like, a 80* sunny day) call for soft serve, in a cone, with rainbow sprinkles, and others (rainy days!) demand froyo loaded with toppings.  I don't have any "category" of time I would gravitate towards gelato, besides, well, if I'm somewhere like Sydney, and happen to be near a lovely gelato shop (hi, Messina!  Hello Anita!).

In the freezer aisle of a grocery store however, I'm most likely to just pick ice cream, not gelato (although I do remember getting drawn in when Talenti first came out in the US, the clear packaging made such an impact!).  This past summer, while staying in New Hampshire to escape from city life during COVID, I explored the freezer aisle quite a bit.  And there I discovered many east coast brands, including Gelato Fiasco, made in Maine.

"We searched and sought, but we could not find the perfect gelato. The centuries-old secrets of the Italian masters had been lost! Knowing that gelato should be magnificent, we set out to rediscover those Old World techniques and create a new standard of quality and taste with our own inspiration, ingredients, and creativity."

They use local dairy, natural cane sugar not HFCS, real fruits & nuts, pistachios only from Sicily, vanilla only from Madagascar, etc, etc.  I was drawn in by the incredible flavor range - I wanted to try nearly every single one.   They claim to have made 1,500 flavors, although many of those were available only at their shops, not by the pint in stores.  Even so, the lineup at my local grocery store was impressive enough.  They had many creative flavors, but the ones that really called out were Nutterfluffer (yup, their play on the very popular fluffernutter sando, salty peanut butter gelato base, marshmallow fluff swirls, pieces of pound cake!), the Sunken Treasure (brown butter gelato, salty pretzels, chocolate dipped bourbon butter orbs, fudge swirl), and, ok, several others.

But I started with just one.  Sadly, it wasn't as impressive as it seemed it should be, and after discovering other brands that I liked more, I didn't try another.  I would still, if it were to just show up somewhere I was, but I wouldn't seek it out.

Wild Maine Blueberry Crisp
Vanilla gelato / crunchy oat streusel / maine blueberries.

"Remember blueberry crisp with a scoop on top? Our version has blueberries, crunchy oat streusel, and vanilla gelato. Wow."

I started with one that was featured in the Bon Appetit magazine as one of the editors’ favorite artisanal ice cream flavors, which seemed like a great place to start.  Plus, I *loved* the sound of Wild Maine Blueberry Crisp!  I do love fruit crisp.  And my fruit crisp is *always* served a la mode (and warm, unless its for breakfast, then it is cold, and with whipped cream).  This had so much promise.

Sadly, it was kinda eh for me.

The base vanilla ice cream was fine, but it was the kind that freezes *hard* and takes considerable time to soften.  The blueberry component was very sweet blueberry goo in some pockets, but not really distributed all that well, and not really as blueberry forward as I'd like - it was mostly sweet.

But the real issue was the streusel, the part I was most looking forward to even!  It wasn't chunks of streusel, it wasn't "crunchy", and it wasn't identifiable as oat ... it was just grit throughout.  Much like many of Ben & Jerry's flavors that I otherwise love, the grit texture just didn't work for me.

I didn't hate this pint, and I did make ice cream sundaes with it, and use it on top of fruit crisp, but, I certainly didn't enjoy it just as it was, and I wouldn't get another pint.

**+.

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Little Secrets

"WE FIXED CHOCOLATE TO BRING BACK THE MAGIC."

Well, that is quite a claim.  And yet it is the tag line for Little Secrets, a chocolate snack food manufacturer.

Little Secrets makes 3 product lines: crispy wafers, chocolate pieces, and cookie bars.  The chocolate pieces are crispy chocolate coated like M&Ms, with fun fillings - peanut butter, mint chocolate chip, toasted coconut, sea salted almonds, and sea salted peanuts.  The cookie bars sure look a lot like Twix.  I tried only the crispy wafers

"Little Secrets makes the chocolate you loved as a kid, for your all-grown-up-now, mature taste buds. It’s chocolate exactly how you remember it — only better."

The difference between the Little Secrets versions and the "originals" is that they are non-GMO, fair trade certified, do not use high fructose corn syrup, etc.  Quality products, yadda yadda.

Crispy Wafers

"Our Gourmet Chocolate Crispy Wafers are layered with creme and dipped in fair trade chocolate with sea salt. No artificial flavors or ingredients. Pick your favorite flavor."

Crispy Wafers come in 4 varieties: Dark chocolate, milk chocolate, peanut butter (!), and almond butter.  I only tried the dark chocolate, but I'd gladly try others.

Dark Chocolate with Sea Salt.

"Three crispy wafers layered between airy, Fair Trade Certified™ dark chocolate crème and drenched in premium dark chocolate come together for an incredible combination of textures and tastes that are guaranteed to delight. With mouth-watering, real ingredients these delicious crispy wafers make for a slightly more sophisticated snack time."

I really liked the crispy wafers.

The dark chocolate was shockingly high quality, really deep dark chocolate.  I quite liked it.  And the wafers?  Yup, crispy!  Great product, I gleefully devoured my twin back in seconds.

I'd get these again.

***+.

Update Review: I've since had these several times, and I really, truly adore them.  The dark chocolate surprises me every time by just how good it is, really, truly fabulous dark chocolate, seemingly really high quality.  Protip: These are great from the freezer too!  ****.

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Tony's Chocoloney

Mmm, chocolate.

I'm a firm believer that every morning should begin with some chocolate (alongside a black coffee, after my gummy vitamins).  And that every bored mid-morning moment needs some chocolate.  And, you know, anytime you want a little pick me up ...

Yeah, I love chocolate.  Sometimes I'm all about smooth, creamy milk chocolate, other times I want legit dark and bitter.  Yup, even 100% bars.  Sometimes I like crunchy bits in it, or sometimes filled truffles, or sometimes just pure chocolate.  I like it all, it just really depends on my mood at any given time.

Anyway, I eat a lot of chocolate.  I've tried a zillion varieties.  Recently I tried "Tony's Chocoloney", mostly drawn in by the rather ridiculous name, and, well, massive size of some of the bars.

Tony's has been around since 2006, making a variety of bars, known as "Big Bars" (you'll see why soon), small bars (more normal sized ones), and "Tiny Tony's" (bite sized).   The Big Bars are the largest product range, with 4 milk chocolate varieties (all 32% milk chocolate, with different additions), 4 dark chocolate varieties (ranging from 42%-70%), and a fun sounding raspberry popping candy white chocolate.

I've tried a few, and would gladly try more.  Silly name, and ridiculously large form factor aside, it seemed to be decent enough chocolate.

Tiny Tony's: Dark.

"This bar contains at least 70% cacao. Se-ven-ty! This means we use a lot of cocoa beans. This dark chocolate delicacy is designed for the true chocolate lover."

The first item I tried was just a little Tiny Tony's, a bite sized piece of dark chocolate.  It was ... fine.  A fairly intense dark chocolate.

The form factor was odd though, small but thick, and really quite hard.  I usually appreciate the snap to a dark chocolate, a shiny element, and that was lost with the thicker form.  I'm curious why they use such a thicker form than other chocolate makers.

***.

Big Bar: 42% dark milk chocolate pretzel toffee.

"Pretzel? Yummy. Toffee? Yes please. Dark milk chocolate? Say it ain't so! Put crunchy pretzel pieces with a sweet toffee crunch in dark milk chocolate with 42% cocoa, wrap in a purple wrapper and we have ourselves a new flavor!"

After trying the regular dark chocolate, I moved on to a more interesting selection, with pretzel toffee inside.  I was curious about the "dark milk chocolate" though, 42%, so not nearly as dark as the regular dark, and considered a milk chocolate.  But a darker one.

  

I did like it.  The "Big Bar" lived up to its name - really thick, legit hunk of chocolate.  It had an interesting pattern throughout, so when you broke off a chunk you could get a wide variety of shapes and sizes.

The dark chocolate was good, solid quality, and honestly seemed darker than 42%.  It certainly wasn't a sweet nor creamy chocolate.  I liked crunch from pretzel, but was a bit let down by expecting more of a salty component, and some sweetness from the toffee.

I think due to its size I grew a bit sick of this bar, but, it was fine.

***.

Big Bar: Milk Chocolate Hazelnut.

"This flavor is a perfect combo of 32% Fairtrade milk chocolate and a minimum of 10% hazelnuts. Did you know that we hid a map of Western Africa in our unequally divided bar? We couldn't fit whole hazelnuts into the pieces that represent Togo and Benin! After a very heated debate, we completely and politically incorrectly combined two separate countries into one bigger piece so we could use whole hazelnuts."

Next up, another Big Bar, this time a milk chocolate variety (32%), featuring hazelnuts.

The bar boasts that it has 10% hazelnuts, so I guess I was just unlucky in my first few pieces, because I broke off hunks along the lines, and ... no hazelnuts.  I quickly discovered hazelnuts though, and, as you'd expect, the milk chocolate and hazelnut combo was wonderful (hello, Nutella!).

The milk chocolate was really quite nice, smooth.  High quality.

I really enjoyed this one, absolutely perfect in my morning grogginess with a cup of coffee..

****.

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Maxine's Ice Cream

I've been a fan of Three Twins Ice Cream since I first had the unique Lemon Cookie flavor years ago at an event, where one of the founders himself was there scooping up samples.  This was long before Three Twins was carried in any grocery stores, and I believe they had just one scoop shop, and did some occasional events like the one I was at.  I loved that flavor, and others that I later tried.   The unique flavors are good, but the just absolutely *nailed* the basics too.  I have long raved that Three Twins made, hands down, the absolute best vanilla and chocolate ice creams I have ever had.  For years, I always had a freezer full of Three Twins, and, literally, had at least a scoop a minimum of 5 days a week.  It just pairs perfectly with everything.  Yes, I may have a bit of an ice cream "problem".

Since then, Three Twins became quite successful.  First I started seeing their pints in Whole Foods around the Bay Area, and then other grocery stores in the area, and then ... across the country.  Three Twin's flavor line up expanded, novelties were introduced (like ice cream sandwiches and sundae cones), grab-n-go minis were added, etc.  Three Twins, one of my favorite ice creams, was seemingly everywhere.  I knew that Three Twins had "made it" when I was visiting my family in rural New Hampshire and saw Three Twins at the grocery store (albeit, in a special organic section, and only one flavor).  But alas, the company was shut down during the pandemic, which I wrote about last week.

The Three Twins folks realized however that not everywhere goes for all organic premium ice cream sold only in small pints.  The mainstream masses can appreciate quality ice cream too.

Enter Maxine's.  Maxine's was the newer line aimed at mass-market (although it is still all organic!) - less premium product, lower price point, and, distributed in larger 1.5 quart packages.  Available in only 6 flavors - two of which were vanilla (regular or vanilla bean) - and all quite simple classic flavors.  No lemon cookies nor cardamom here.

I was eager to try it out and see how it compared to my precious Three Twins.

(Side note: Three Twins has also introduced Slim Twin, a high protein, light offering with only ~240 calories per PINT.  I have yet to try this.)

Vanilla Bean.

"Organic vanilla bean ice cream."

I started with vanilla bean, a flavor also available in the Three Twin's line.

The first thing I noticed is that the texture actually is quite different.  It is a fluffier, lighter style than classic Three Twins.  Not as rich.  I actually liked this, it was more akin to whipped cream, and I always struggle to decide if I want whipped cream or ice cream with my pie (ok, who am I kidding, I usually go for both).   My mother wasn't as pleased with the fluffier style, although she has never had Three Twins, she just wasn't a big fan in general.

The flavor was good, but not quite as intense as the Three Twins vanilla (although, I usually have Three Twins Madagascar Vanilla, not the Vanilla Bean).

It was interesting to compare the ingredients in the Three Twins and Maxine's versions of the same flavor.  The ingredient lineup is nearly identical, all organic, but in Three Twins the egg yolk comes before nonfat milk, clearly, what makes it richer.  Maxine's also has guar gum added.  But besides that, identical components.

Anyway, I liked it.  It was clearly not as rich as the Three Twins, but this style worked.  I'd still pick Three Twins Madagascar Vanilla over this for the deeper flavor, but, it is a good product, and I would also gladly have it again.

****.

Mint Chip.

"Organic mint chip ice cream."

Next up I picked the Mint Chip, as I was not particularly inspired by any others (chocolate or coffee are good, but, I limit caffeine to earlier in the day, so not my top choices, I rarely like cookies & cream, and other than that, my choices were just the other vanilla, dubbed "Maxine's vanilla", or this).

It was ... fine.

Much like the vanilla bean, it simply wasn't as creamy, it wasn't as rich, it wasn't as ... premium, as Three Twins.  It was mostly just regular, fairly unremarkable, ice cream.  It did have a minty base, and I liked that it was studded with flecks of quality chocolate.

It was fine.  But it wasn't particularly something I wanted, and it mostly just made me miss Three Twins. ***. 

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