Eli's Cheesecake

As you know, I eat my share of desserts.  As in, well, a dessert follows every single lunch, every single dinner, without fail.  I have my favorite types of desserts (warm pies a la mode I'm looking at you!) and my least favorites (bars, cookies, brownies ... just not exciting!), and then there are the ones that I just need to be in the right mood for.  Like cheesecake.

There are times where I adore cheesecake.  And plenty of times where I'm fairly "meh" on it.  One thing I do know is rarely like chocolate cheesecake.  And I rarely like traditional graham cracker crunch.  I like more interesting crusts, I am fine with a simple, creamy, perfect texture cheesecake, or I enjoy it loaded up with toppings galore.  And yes, I've tried a lot of cheesecake over the years too. In the mass produced front, I'm pretty meh on Cheesecake Factory, I'm not particularly into John & Jill's (just too smooth and mushy), but I've long been a fan of SF Cheesecake (now CheeseQuakes), I've also enjoyed local Crumble & Whisk in SF, and I regularly grab a slice when I'm a captive in airports worldwide (like Jerry Remy's Sports Bar & Grille in Boston, Yankee Pier at SFO, Romano's Macaroni Grill at O'Hare - as they tend to be fairly reliable, rarely amazing, but rarely bad).  The worst I've had in recent memory is Jack In the Box ... just don't.  Of course, that is all classic NY style cheesecake, I've also had my share of fluffy Japanese cheesecake, which is another thing entirely, like cult favorite Uncle Tetsu.

"We still take our time to slow bake our cheesecakes in small batches, and allow our highest quality all-natural ingredients to develop to their optimum flavors. We use only quality ingredients like cultured cream cheese and cultured sour cream, the finest ingredients like pure Madagascar vanilla, cultured cream cheese and sour cream, fresh Michigan apples (never frozen or processed), fine chocolate, real fruit juice - Elis Cheesecakes a Chicago Classic. All Desserts are certified Kosher.  Baked in small batches, hand decorated, perfect addition to any menu, cafe!"

Anyway.  This brings us to Eli's Cheesecake, which, as you can guess, is a cheesecake manufacturer.  They are based in Chicago, and spun off from a successful restaurant: Eli’s the Place for Steak.  Yup, a steakhouse, that became very well known for their signature dessert: cheesecake.  They branched out into making tons of desserts, cheesecakes and others, and while they still operate in Chicago, they are also available wholesale and mail order, direct to your home.  While mass produced, they still maintain high quality.

I've had the pleasure of trying *many* of their products, ranging from wholesale cheesecake and catering minis, to direct-shipped extremely fun items like their cheesecake pizza.  Their cheesecakes have been hits at all the events where I have served them, and I continue to order regularly.  In particular, they use very creative crusts, often made from things like crushed roasted almonds and caramelized sugar, no boring, dry, soggy, cardboard crusts here!, and incorporate a slew of different toppings, all while still having extremely high quality cheesecake underlying it all.  All components are fantastic, and combine together wonderfully.  Again, highly recommend.

Shipping

If you don't have the ability order wholesale as I often do, you can have them shipped to you.  I tried this out with a batch of 4 cheesecakes, and it was quite impressive.  Recommended for sure.

Boxed Up.

"Eli's Desserts are perishable and shipped frozen, packaged with dry ice in a heavy-duty Styrofoam container so each arrives picture perfect. "

If you order directly from Eli's, they come frozen, packaged in an outer cardboard box, inside of which is a styrofoam box with dry ice originally in it (mine was gone when I opened it up), with a final box protecting the cheesecake itself, which is tightly wrapped.  They are clearly professionals at shipping these cheesecakes unharmed, although it really does generate a lot of packaging, and takes up considerable space.

Cheesecake

"We bake over 40 flavors of cheesecakes, from classics like Original Plain and Red Velvet, to trendy flavors like Blood Orange and Mediterranean Honey."

Obviously, a core focus of the business is cheesecake.  These are broken down into categories like "Originals", "Candy & Chocolate", "Fruit", "With Nuts", "Holiday", and their "Skinny" line.  Can't decide? They make some killer sampler mixes too.

I've tried some from nearly every product line, besides the "Skinny".

Everyday Cheesecakes

First up, the regular "everyday" cheesecakes, where here of course everyday does *not* mean boring.

Salted Caramel Cheesecake.

"Creamy caramel cheesecake baked on a sweet and salty almond crust topped with a thick bed of buttery caramel and a sprinkle of almond pieces."  -- GourmetXpress, Distributor

"This elegant cheesecake features the sophisticated and modern combination of salt and caramel. Creamy caramel cheesecake baked on a sweet and salty almond crust topped with a thick bed of buttery caramel and a sprinkle of more almonds. " -- Eli's

The first I had was the salted caramel.  This is a very, very good cheesecake.

The cheesecake itself was a bit of a strange texture the first time I had it, somewhat more like a mousse or thick pudding almost, but made from a glorious sweet blend of cream cheese and sweetened condensed milk.  It was very creamy, just not as rich and dense as traditional cheesecake.

Salted Caramel Cheesecake: Side View.

I LOVED the crust, made from crushed roasted almonds and caramelized sugar and salt, basically, almond praline crunch.  Normal cheesecake graham cracker crusts are always boring and dry, and this not only replaced it with something better, but added an element I really *wanted* to eat, not just tolerated.  It added an awesome crunch for texture, and sweet and salty aspect.  Awesome.  Also, gluten-free, if that matters to you.

And then, the topping.  A decently thick layer of sweet and buttery caramel.  Oh yes.  And more bits of roasted almond for a bit more crunch.

This really was excellent, although quite sweet from the topping and base, and obviously a rich item.  I loved the non-traditional aspects, and it delivered in flavor and texture.

Salted Caramel Cheesecake.

So I ordered the salted caramel cheesecake again!

The texture was different this time, still very creamy and smooth, but a bit more firm.  In retrospect, I think the previous time it likely had just been served after being out of the fridge longer.  Both ways were fine, but this was much more "normal" cheesecake consistency.

I again loved how creamy, yet not too "cream cheese-y" it was.  And I again loved the sweetened crushed nut crust.  And the salted caramel.

Just an all around great cheesecake.

Another update: I ordered it *again* for my group, and we again all loved it.  So many rave reviews.  And that crust ... really is the most unique, and memorable aspect.  This one is solidly on our rotation, but, it can get a bit sweet, so I do like to pair it with a bit of whipped cream to cut the sweetness.

Blackberry Sour Cream.

"Cream cheese combined with house-made Madasgascar vanilla French custard. Topped with crushed blackberry curd, blackberry chiffon mousse made with tangy sour cream and a bright shiny blackberry gelee." -- GourmetXpress, Distributor

"Our signature slow-cultured cream cheese combined with housemade Madagascar vanilla custard, topped with and intense crushed blackberry gelee, a tart blackberry mousse made with tangy sour cream and finished with a bright shiny blackberry mirror on our signature all-butter shortbread cookie crust." -- Eli's Cheesecake

I finally moved on to try another flavor, and selected the interesting sounding blackberry sour cream.

It was another very nice cheesecake.  Not my favorite of their flavors because I don't really like blackberry, but, overall still a winner.

The cookie crust surprised me, much like the praline crust from the salted caramel cheesecake.  I rarely like crusts on cheesecakes, but these are both so unique and do enhance the final product.  It was kinda sugar cookie like, and I really liked it.  Sweet, crumbly, went great with the cheesecake.

The cheesecake itself was smooth and creamy, great texture, not too sweet.  I didn't really get much sour cream tang though.  Maybe the sour cream was only in the chiffon mousse layer as described?

On top of that was crushed blackberry curd, which I didn't really care for, since, well, blackberries.  But it was fruity and a nice compliment to the cheesecake, particularly if you like blackberries, I'm sure.

The next layer was the aforementioned blackberry chiffon mousse that actually wasn't very good, poor texture, not fluffy, and not tangy as expected.

And finally, blackberry gelee on top which was better than the curd, because it was just sweet and fruity rather than seedy (my actual issue with blackberries).

So, as expected, I didn't really care for the blackberry elements, but, everything else about it was good.

Blackberry Sour Cream (September 2018).

I was quasi happy to see this one make a re-showing a few months later.  I wanted to give the blackberry components another chance, but I wasn't optimistic.  Still, I could easily remove them, and enjoy the rest of the cheesecake and crust, and, I had some fantastic blueberry compote from IHOP on hand to jazz it up ...

I ended up not needing my compote.  I ... didn't mind the blackberry elements this time.  They all were fine.  Sweet, fruity, enjoyable enough.  Uh, ok?!

The cheesecake was very good, very rich, and I did detect sour cream richness this time.  I again did like the buttery shortbread crust.

A winning cheesecake, no question.

Honey Almond.

"Wildflower honey cheesecake, enhanced with the subtle addition of ricotta, is topped with a dreamy, crunchy layer of salted honey, toasted pistachios and almonds, a cloud of vanilla mousse and a mosaic of more toasted pistachios and almonds."

I got pretty excited to order the honey almond.

Seriously, how insanely good does this sound?  I picked this one for a reason.  It promised creaminess.   Crunch.  Sweetness.  Clouds.  Mosaics.  Yes.

From the top, you could see the vanilla mousse topping (which, was indeed very fluffy and, uh, cloud like, delightfully sweet too).  The "mosaic" was the garnish of toasted nuts, which gave more crunch to the whole thing.

Things were looking good.

Honey Almond: Side View.

From the side, you can see the full detail.  The top layer of the vanilla mousse was a great thickness, very generous, which I appreciated, since it was so good.  My favorite component, actually.

Under that, the salted honey and crunchy nut layer.  Oh yes.  The salted honey looked like caramel, but it was most certainly honey based, just, a big thicker.  I sadly didn't love the honey element and wanted it to just be plain old caramel, since honey isn't my flavor of choice.  The crunchy nuts weren't so much "crunchy" really since against moist items, but were still good texture.

Of course, this *is* a cheesecake, you want to know how that honey ricotta cheesecake was right? It was good.  Great consistency, firm but not too firm, slight ricotta flavor, slight honey flavor, very balanced.

A finally, the crust. It wasn't just a throwaway crust.  It was crispy and sweet.

Overall, a good cheesecake.  I liked all the layers, I think they complimented each other well, and I appreciated the different textures and consistencies.  Not being a huge honey lover though, it wasn't my favorite, but still one I'd be happy to have again.

Seasonal

Eli's makes a number of special, seasonal cheesecakes, available for different occasions throughout the year, including lots of winter items (Hot Chocolate, White Chocolate Peppermint, etc), classics like Pumpkin Pie Cheesecake for Thanksgiving, and even fun items for St. Patty's Day.  I've tried several.

White Chocolate Raspberry.

"Tart red raspberries are the perfect foil for the sweet, smooth taste of white chocolate cheesecake, baked in a chocolate crumb crust."

For the winter holidays, Eli's makes a White Chocolate Raspberry cheesecake, with a chocolate cookie crust.  This is the big 10" version, super tall, and beautiful.  They also make a smaller version that is not as tall, has no back crust, and no whipped cream, if you are looking for something a bit less decadent.  And a heart shaped one.  But we had the mega one.

Much like the salted caramel, the texture wasn't that of traditional cheesecake, but was remarkably smooth and creamy, this one made from a mix of cream cheese and sour cream.  And white chocolate of course.  The white chocolate made it smoother, creamier, sweeter.

I really liked the flavor and texture of the cheesecake itself.

The crust was a dark brown, nearly black, chocolate cookie crumble, not my first choice of crust normally, but it actually worked really well.  The chocolate and sweet white chocolate flavors reminded me of an Oreo, e.g. the cookie and filling.  I really like how Eli's innovates on the cheesecake crust front.

White Chocolate Raspberry: Inside.

The topping was a thin layer of raspberry puree.  It was sweet, super fruity, and a good flavor match with the white chocolate too.  There was some raspberry puree inside as well.

The final element was a bit of whipped cream garnish, which just made it look so pretty.

I really liked this cheesecake.

Update Review: This quickly became a favorite of mine, and I order it every holiday season (and stock up!).  The cheesecake really is just perfect with the chocolate crust.

White Chocolate Peppermint Bark.

"The perfect holiday dessert! Refreshing peppermint cheesecake topped with a layer of housemade peppermint bark made with white chocolate and bittersweet chocolate, topped with a sprinkle of peppermint candies and baked on a bittersweet chocolate crust." -- GourmetXpress, Distributor

"Refreshing peppermint cheesecake topped with a layer of housemade peppermint bark made with white chocolate and bittersweet chocolate, topped with a sprinkle of peppermint candies and baked on a bittersweet chocolate crust." -- Eli's Cheesecake

Another winter holiday special, white chocolate peppermint bark, one I was quite eager to order.  

The base cheesecake was incredibly smooth and creamy, as Eli's usually is.  I didn't taste that much peppermint in the cheesecake itself, but it was a wonderful base.  Quality cheesecake.

White Chocolate Peppermint Bark: Side View.

But there was plenty of minty flavor to be found.

The base was a chocolate crust, but not nearly as dark or Oreo-like as the White Chocolate Raspberry crust.  It was also just the base, the crust did not extend up the sides.  It was fine, a mild chocolate cookie crumble.

On top was a lovely thick chocolate ganache, and crumbled bits of peppermint, and a decent amount of creamy sweet white chocolate too.  I wouldn't really say they were a peppermint bark as described though, mostly just chocolate ganache and peppermint candies.  Which wasn't a bad thing.  I loved the toppings, and they went really well with the cheesecake.

Overall, a complete winner, every element was good, and they combined together very nicely.  I'd gladly get this again.

Irish Cream.

"Irish Cream cheesecake is layered with chocolate ganache and finished with Irish Cream mousse, a splash of chocolate and a dusting of cocoa, baked on a chocolate crumb crust."

For St. Paddy's Day, Eli's makes two seasonal cheesecakes, an Irish Mint Cheesecake and an Irish Cream Cheesecake.  The Irish mint is a minty green chocolate chip cheesecake, with chocolate ganache and mint on top, in a chocolate crust, but we got the Irish Cream, also in a chocolate crumb crust, but with a boozy irish cream mousse and white chocolate ganache, which sounded much like Sweet Street's Irish Cream Bash that I've ordered many times (review coming soon!).

It was a very large, very heavy cheesecake, pre-sliced into 14 generous, 690 calorie each, slices.

Irish Cream: Side Profile.

I loved the very top layer, super fluffy Irish Cream mousse, like a sweet flavored whipped cream.  The main component of course is the Irish Cream Cheesecake itself, soooo very smooth, Irish Cream flavor that was not overpowering, but certainly detectable, and stronger than the cream cheese flavor.

The chocolate crumb crust was fine, just, dense chocolate crumbs, better than a graham cracker crust, but not particularly novel.  The backside had a very thick chocolate crust.  We all felt a bit underwhelmed by the crust.

Above the crust was a chocolate pudding though, a thick chocolate layer, not something I expected to find given the description, and given the other chocolate crust cheesecakes we had tried before that had no such layer.  We like the thick chocolate pudding, but it did take over a tiny bit with the more subtle Irish Cream flavor, easily dominating some bites.

Overall, this was a very good cheesecake, solid execution of the cheesecake and crust, with my favorite thing being the mousse.  Likely not the flavor I'd pick again, but, it was well done.

Specialty

Eli's also makes a slew of sampler cheesecakes, broken into segments of different varieties, for when you want to try multiple cheesecakes but only order one, and some other speciality items.

Candy Cookie Crunch Sampler.

"We've combined our Caramel Cheesecake made with Snickers Bars, Peanut Butter Cheesecake made with Reeses Peanut Butter Cups (the top two candies in America), and Cookie Cheesecake made with Oreo Cookies (Americas #1 cookie brand) for the ultimate Cheesecake sampler...enjoy four to five slices of each irresistible flavor."

I thought all the candy bar cheesecakes sounded good, and couldn't really pick a single one, so I was thrilled to see this sampler pack, with their top three candy cheesecakes.  No decisions required (at least, not at the ordering stage).  Yes I had all of them (some just a small slice, others ... #seconds).

All were differently successful, but certainly represented their theme ingredient well.  Candy bar lovers will be very happy with these.

Cookie Crazy Cheesecake. 

"America's #1 cookie and Chicago's favorite cheesecake! Eli's Original Plain Cheesecake with chunks of real Oreos®, topped with whipped cream, a rich chocolate drizzle and more Oreos®, baked on an Oreo® crust."

I'm actually not a big Oreo fan, so I only took a portion of a slice of this one.  It ... really did look ridiculously decadent with whole Oreos perched on top of cheesecake, and yes, whole Oreos inside too.  The crust was also made from Oreos, so, you really must like Oreo to like this one.

I, predictably, wasn't really into it.  The cheesecake was a fine texture, smooth and creamy, just classic plain cheesecake, and, well, it was loaded with Oreos, that pretty much took over.  The little bit of whipped cream layer perhaps lightened it a touch, but mostly, this was just heavy on the cheesecake and heavy on the Oreos.  The chocolate "drizzle" was very generous but really wasn't detectable, given the dominant Oreos.

My least favorite but someone else in the group considered it the best.  I happen to actually like the Oreo version from Cheesecake Factory.

Caramel Chocolate Cheesecake made with Snickers® Bar.

"Caramel cheesecake loaded with Snickers® Bars and creamy caramel, topped with vanilla cream, a layer of rich chocolate, and crunchy peanuts. Baked in a fluted vanilla crumb crust."

This Snickers one definitely sounded more my style, particularly given how much I loved the salted caramel cheesecake and this also had a caramel cheesecake base.

The color of the cheesecake was considerably darker than the salted caramel cheesecake, and I think perhaps the flavor was stronger (hard to say given that I didn't have a side-by-side comparison).  It was smooth, sweet, and rich, and I really liked it, the caramel was obviously sweet, but it seemed fairly complex.  I liked the bits of Snickers studded throughout, just tiny chunks, as they added a bit of crunch.  I didn't find really any "creamy caramel" inside the cheesecake, but, the flavor of the base itself was plenty caramel-forward so this wasn't necessary.

On top of the cheesecake was a fairly thick layer of "vanilla cream", which seemed sorta like a vanilla mousse, it was heavier than the whipped cream topping found on their other cheesecakes.  I think it might have had sour cream in it?  I liked it too.  Same with the thick layer of chocolate, quite rich, smooth, good milk chocolate.  Both were delicious on their own, and great with the caramel cheesecake base.

The extra milk chocolate drizzle on top and pile of peanuts just completed the deal for me.  Great textures and flavors, and it all came together wonderfully.  The vanilla crust was not exciting, but better than an average graham crust.  It didn't need something more interesting anyway.

It is cheesecake, and it is loaded up, so this is a rich slice of course, but I couldn't stop eating it.  Hands down favorite, and I quickly went back for another ... for the next day.

Peanut Butter Chocolate Cheesecake made with Reese's® Peanut Butter Cups®.

"A childhood favorite goes glam! Creamy peanut butter cheesecake bursting with Reese's Peanut Butter Cups®, topped with chocolate ganache, vanilla cream, a chocolate and peanut butter drizzle, and more Reese's Peanut Butter Cups®. Baked in a fluted vanilla crumb crust."

I saved the one I was most excited for for last.  Peanut butter cups have always been my favorite type of candy bars in general, and were always my top choice growing up - the type of Halloween candy I grabbed first, the Friendly's ice cream sundae I got, the Blizzard/McFlurry/TCBY Shiver/etc blended creation I opted for, etc.  Chocolate and peanut butter just are a classic combo for me.

That all said, I wasn't quite sure about the peanut butter and cheesecake combo ... it sounded heavy.  And wow, it was.

It uses the same simple vanilla crust as the Snicker's one, which was a good thing, as it needed simple and plain.

The cheesecake is ... well, rich.  So very, very rich.  Take cheesecake (already rich) and take peanut butter (also rich), and blend them together.  And you get this.  It was creamy, smooth, and extremely strong peanut butter flavor (they use Reese's peanut butter too), it was kinda stuffed with big chunks of peanut butter cups inside (more peanut butter richness).  It was good, but definitely needed the other elements to balance.

The vanilla cream layer was the slight saving grace, offering a touch of lightness, but it was fairly rich itself, and a fluffier whipped cream I think would have helped more.  The thick chocolate ganache added to the chocolate + pb theme, obviously, but it certainly was decadent too.   And yes, it was drizzled with more chocolate and peanut butter, and had a big pile of peanut butter cup chunks on top.

Much like the Oreo cheesecake, this really requires that you love the theme ingredient.  You can't get away from the chocolate and peanut butter in here.  It ended up being just too much for me to have more than a few bites of at a time, but, wow, it delivered in the peanut butter department, big time.

Deep Dish Pizza Cheesecake.

"NEW! Eli's dessert pizza: looks like your favorite Chicago-style deep dish, but it's Original Plain Cheesecake topped with housemade strawberry "pizza sauce" and white chocolate "shredded cheese."

This is a fun one, no question.  A brand new offering from Eli's.  I was fairly shocked to see how much it truly looked like a pizza.

When I opened it up, I even had people ask, "Wait, what, is that pizza? I thought we were having cheesecake."  For looks, Eli's definitely wins on this one.

Deep Dish Pizza Cheesecake: Side View.

The actual product was ok.  

The cheesecake was fine, good creamy quality Eli's cheesecake, but the plain flavor wasn't as exciting as others I've tried.

The strawberry "pizza sauce" was the real downside of the cheesecake - although it looked good, it was just a thick layer of goo, and many people ended up scraping it off.  It would be much nicer with bits of berries in it, but I know that would ruin the whole sauce look.

The white chocolate on top looked fairly convincing as melted cheese, even with shreds, but, there wasn't enough to really taste it, particularly with the generous "sauce" layer it was up against.  I wanted to taste this element more.

And finally, the crust, which was also disappointing, particularly compared with other Eli's crusts that I have enjoyed.  It was a fairly standard "cardboard" style crust, not much redeeming about it, no interesting texture, flavor, nor sweetness.

So overall, fine cheesecake, but plain, and the other elements were better for looks than for tastes.  My least favorite Eli's product I tried, although again, it did look great, and I think would be a big success at a children's party.

Vegan Belgian Chocolate Cheesecake.

"Rich chocolate cheesecake made with semi-sweet Belgian chocolate and silken tofu, tops a layer of old fashioned cocoa cake finished with a dusting of cocoa."

Eli's makes great cheesecake, but, *vegan* cheesecake?  Skeptical.

I was right to be skeptical.  A cheesecake this was not.

The chocolate cake was fine, moist, and not "vegan" tasting.  The layer on top though ... not cheesecake.  It didn't taste anything like cream cheese.  It tasted like ... a melted fudgicle that somehow got turned into a firmer custard ... with a tofu/soy aftertaste.  The consistency was actually pretty nice.

Not for me really, but, if you were vegan, and you like cake, not cheesecake, and, uh, tofu taste, maybe fine?

Cheesecake-Cake Hybrids

I can't really call this next kind cheesecake, nor is it cake, rather, it is both.  All at once.

Birthday Cake.

"Scratch-recipe double birthday cake: a layer of moist yellow birthday cake topped with birthday cake cheesecake, hand-piped vanilla mousse and sprinkles."

I'll admit that I wasn't expecting to really like this.  Cake is pretty low on my favorite dessert list (I eat it as a vessel for frosting and ice cream).  Cheesecake, kinda the same.  I'm just not one to get excited about cheesecake.  I was most drawn in by the vanilla mousse and sprinkles, but it looked like a fairly generic cake.

But, spoiler alert, I LOVED this.  Legit loved it.  Not just "it was good for cheesecake" or "it was good for cake" or "hey, the whole is greater than sum of its parts".  It was actually just insanely good

I devoured a slice of this faster than I thought possible, and *immediately* went back for more.  I usually like to tell people how good something is, or encourage them to take a slice, but the moment I tasted this, I quickly shut my mouth.  I didn't want anyone else to want it, because then there would be less for me.  My co-worker agreed, sending me a chat moments later, "I wanted to tell the group it tastes better than it looks.  Not that it doesn't look good but it tastes great.  Then I decided to shut my mouth".

Birthday Cake: Side View.

From the side view, it also didn't look particularly good.  Again, it looked like kinda standard funfetti yellow cake, a cheesecake with sprinkles in it, and a fluffier top layer, all with more sprinkles all of it.  It looked like it came from a generic grocery store bakery.

But it was delicious.

The cake layer was surprising.  It had a nice vanilla flavor, and it was sweet, but in a good way.  The sprinkles in it weren't a throwaway, they actually added a lot to it, in sweetness and a bit of texture.  I wouldn't say the cake was particularly moist, but it wasn't dry, and it was fairly good just to eat, even as just cake with a little of the top frosting-like mousse.

Then the cheesecake, similar thickness layer as the cake.  A very good cheesecake.  Nice texture, good mouthfeel, thick and rich.  Strong cream cheese flavor, lovely sweetness from the sprinkles.  Again, I was shocked that the sprinkles seemed to add so much to it.  It was good, just as a standalone cheesecake, but even better with the top layer.

The topping layer was about half a thick as the other two layers, but far more generous than a regular frosting.  It was a fluffy, you guessed it, sweet, mousse layer.  I really loved it too, and it complimented both the cake (as a great frosting would, but it was far tastier than standard buttercream), and the cheesecake (adding a light texture like a whipped cream would, but, tastier than whipped cream).  I think this was my favorite component, but it is hard to play favorites with this one.

Also on top was white chocolate decoration, again, sweet, but somehow still in harmony with everything else.  I liked it too.

Overall, this really just was fantastic.  I enjoyed the layers on their own, I enjoyed them combined in different ways, I enjoyed them all together.  It was just, well, fabulous.  And although I describe it was sweet, it wasn't cloying sweet, just, certainly sweet.

Highly recommended.

Layer Cakes

Eli's doesn't stop at cheesecakes though.  The cake line isn't all that extensive, and I've only tried a few, but they all feature very tasty mousse layers.

Moscato Berry Tiramisu.

"This Italian classic pairs regional sweet red raspberries and blueberries with cream mascarpone mousse. Layered with tender genoise soaked in Moscato wine essence." -- GourmetXpress, Distributor

"Sweet red raspberries and blueberries layered with creamy mascarpone mousse and tender genoise soaked in Italian moscato wine essence add an irresistible fruity aroma to this spectacular dessert." -- Eli's Cheesecake

This was a serious cake.  6 layers, very tall slices, very thick slices (610 calories!).  Our cafe cut them down in half, but they were still comically large.

But the size turned out to be totally practical.  It was good.  Very good.

The mascarpone cream mousse was my favorite part, creamy, thick, sweet, good mascarpone flavor.  Tons of it.  The berries went great with it.

I didn't really detect the moscato though, but the cake was sorta a "tender genoise", more moist than normal, so, I guess that was the soaking?  I loved the soft pops of berries in it.

Overall, quite good, and I really enjoyed it.

Moscato Berry Tiramisu.

The berry tiramisu has made a number of appearances on our lineup, so I've had the chance to try it a few more times.

The cake I've decided I just don't like.  It is moist, but in a soggy way, not in a good way.

The mascarpone cream mousse though continues to delight me every time.  It is great with fresh berries.

Tres Leches Cake.

"Tender genoise soaked in the traditional three milks, layered with rich creamy mousse and topped with a dusting of cocoa create the perfect sweetness and density for our take on this classic Latin American favorite." 

Another good cake.  And it certainly wasn't a classic tres leches cake.  But I'm not a cake person, so fact that this was half mousse, and half cake, worked for me.

It was a layer cake, alternating layers of the more standard milk soaked genoise with a creamy mousse.  This one was only 4 layers, but just as tall as the previous one, each layer was thicker.

The cocoa powder on top was a bit odd, I'm not sure why they added that element.

Tres Leches Profile.

The cake layer was much better than it looked, the sponge was indeed moist from the three milks it was soaked in (regular milk, evaporated milk, sweetened condensed milk).  Still cake, but, light and moist, particularly where it touched the mousse.

The mousse  ... it was very tasty.  Light, fluffy, sorta like a cheesecake whipped cream.  I liked it quite a bit.

Overall, a good cake.  I might have preferred that it just be a mousse cup without the cake, but still, I was satisfying.

Another Tres Leches.

Update Review: I've had this several times since, and liked it ... less.  It isn't bad exactly, but it isn't what I ever really want.  Cake.  Eh.

My office mate, who does like cake, also found it dry, but we quickly remedied that by melting some coconut gelato and pouring it over it, to soak in, more like a traditional soaked tres leches cake.

Mini Pies

The majority of Eli's products are cheesecakes, but they also make pies.  Individual little double crust mini pies that is.  They come in only four flavors: apple, pecan, pumpkin, and cherry.

The mini pies all look exactly the same, with a dot in the center and slots on top, covered in large pearl sugar, double crusted.  Only what is inside changes.

Mini Apple Pie.

"Fresh Michigan apples and a hint of cinnamon, baked in an all butter shortbread crust, sprinkled with coarse sugar."

This tasted like ... McDonald's apple pie, or, at least, my memory of it.  Or like the apple pies from Drakes or Little Debbie that sit near the registers at Walgreens and the gas station.  Again, or, of my memory of those things.  I don't really know when I last had one.

Anyway, the point?  It tasted like a highly commercial, generic product.  Which ... there were aspects of that I liked.

The apple filling was little tiny cubes of apple, in sweet goo.  They were nicely cooked, not too mushy.  There wasn't really much spicing, just a little cinnamon, not standard complex apple pie spices.  It was sweet, it was generic, and it could easily have come from a can.  And of course, that is the part I quasi-liked.

The crust was horrible the first time I tried one though.  Not pastry crust, not cookie style as I thought it might be ("shortbread crust"?), just, kinda hard, stale cardboard.  I liked the course sugar on top, but otherwise hated the crust.  Since it was double crusted, the ratio of crust to filling was also horrible, way too much awful crust.

Overall, not something I wanted another of, but I quasi-enjoyed a bit of the filling.

But of course, I had another.  This time, the crust was much better.  It was still not pastry crust, and still not a cookie, but it was soft, sweet, and a bit crumbly.  Not hard, not stale.  I think the previous batch certainly had suffered somewhere along the way.  I again adored the crispy large pearl sugar on top.  Still not amazing fresh pie or anything, but, I liked it enough.

Mini Cherry Pie.

 "Tart and juicy Michigan cherries baked in an all butter shortbread crust, sprinkled with coarse sugar."

Next up, cherry.  Which looked exactly the same, just, with some red poking through.

And it was exactly the same.  Cookie-like crust studded with sugar, a little bit of filling-from-a-can, in this case, cherry.

Mini Cherry Pie: Inside.

From the cross section, you can see the crust to filling ratio a bit better.

This one seemed less flavorful, which was surprising since cherries are usually pretty flavorful and juicy.

Mini Pumpkin Pie: 2017.

Another one, this time a seasonal offering: pumpkin.  Again, identical at first glance.

Mini Pumpkin Pie: Inside.

This one was pumpkin filled.  I honestly can't tell you much about the pumpkin filling, as it was negligible.  This was much more like a cookie than a pie, basically, all crust, shortbread crust.  The crust was fine, not particularly good if you wanted "pie crust", but not bad, and I liked the sugar on top.

Alas, this was not really a pie, and I did want to experience the creamy pumpkin filling, but for a pie-cookie, I liked it.

Mini Pumpkin Pie: 2018.

I had one the next year, and this time, I was less enamored.  The novelty of the cookie-pie had worn off, and now, just the disappointment of not having generous pumpkin pie filling was left in its place.

The crust was also softer this time.  With whipped cream, it was still enjoyable, but, definitely not as good as my previous memories.

Tarts

And of course, tarts!  The little tarts actually have pleased me quite a bit.

Apple Bavarian Torte.

"Caramelized fresh Michigan apple slices with a layer of Bavarian custard, artfully arranged in a fluted graham crust."

From the top, this looked like an apple pie, sans top crust.

However, it was a "torte", with a dry, crumbly, thick graham crust on the back and bottom that I really didn't care for.  Very ... sandy.  Grity.  Meh.

The apples though were good, huge chunks of apple, not mushy, not too "apple-saucey" if you know what I mean.  They had a good bite to them and were well spiced.

Apple Bavarian Torte: Inside.

The "Bavarian" aspect of the torte comes from the Bavarian cream layer in the middle.

I was quite excited for this, because, uh, cream, but it wasn't very noticeable.  Too thin compared to the generous amount of apple.  I guess it added something, but, it really needed to be in completely different balance to be useful.

So the apples were good, the crust horrible, and the cream pretty useless.  I enjoyed the apples with whipped cream though.

Apple Bavarian Torte. October 2019.

Update Review: I had it again about a year later, and had very different experience.

The crust, which I hated the first time, was actually more like my favorite element.  It was not sawdust, and it did not break apart easily.  It was thick, sweet, and, with some whipped cream or caramel, a perfectly fine component, more like a cookie than anything else.  I liked it.

The apples again were good, they were al dente in a way I liked, they had some bite.  At least, the apples right on top.  The rest, studded throughout, were soft, mealy, and ... were surrounded by applesauce like goo.  Which really surprised me, as, my prior review said there was nothing ""apple-saucey" about it ...  

Oh, and the cream layer?  It was more obvious this time, a bit thicker, but I actually hated it.  It wasn't creamy, it wasn't rich, it was like ... a custard that had separated.  Grainy.  I did not enjoy it at all.    

I somewhat wonder if this item is just really sensitive to handling, and if our catering team didn't keep it deep frozen properly, or didn't defrost properly?  I'm not sure how to explain the fact that both times had really odd experiences of texture and consistency, and in totally different ways.

I mostly discarded the entire middle layer, and only went for the firm apples on top, the crust, and then I added caramel and whipped cream.  Which was perfectly good, but, it was sad to throw away half the item.

Butter Tart.

"A sweet and gooey butter filling, baked in an all-butter pate sucree crust.  Taste delicious served warm."

The shell for this was a standard pâte sucrée, not my favorite, but crumbly, buttery, sweet.  Good when dunked in whipped cream, and served its purpose as a conduit for the filling.

The filling ... gooey, sweet, butter filling.  Sorta like crack pie just not as sweet, sorta like pecan pie minus pecans.  A rich gooey custard-ish.  Butter, sugar, eggs.  It was exactly what you'd expect from that ingredient list.  Very sticky, almost like honey at room temperature.

It was fine at room temperature, but it needed whipped cream at least.  The manufacturer recommends serving it warm, and I agree - it was much, much, much better warm, and even better with ice cream!

Pumpkin Tart.

"A tender all butter pâté sucrée crust filled with a smooth custardy pumpkin pie." -- GourmetXpress, Disributor

"Custardy, light-spiced pumpkin pie filling in our all-butter housemade pate sucree crust." -- Eli's Cheesecake

These were great little tarts.

The tart shell was soft, sweet, buttery.  All butter FTW.  Far better than your average tart shell in that it wasn't hard.

The filling, creamy, rich, pumpkin custard, made with evaporated milk, powdered sugar, and "sugar yolk".  A bit richer than your standard pumpkin pie filling, but that was not a bad thing.  Nicely spiced with classic pumpkin spices (ginger, cinnamon, nutmeg, cloves), none too dominant, but all noticeable.

Overall, a lovely tart, and of course, best with whipped cream.

Update: I've enjoyed several more of these, and found them quite fantastic each time.  The richer ingredients definitely make it a less healthy pumpkin pie, but, I truly enjoyed them.

Cuties

For food service distribution, Eli's makes bars cut into squares, dubbed Cuties (for the 1" variety) and Super Cuties (2").

These come in a variety of flavors:

• Chocolatey: Fudge Brownie 
• Cheesecake: Original Plain, Raspberry Swirl, Caramel Flan, Chocolate Swirl, Lemon Swirl, Cookie Butter Swirl.
• Fruity: Raspberry Macaroon Bar, Blueberry Oat Bar.
• Nuty: Pecan Bar, Florentine Honey Almond Bar,  Seven Layer Bar.

These are their weakest products, by far.  Also, just not items I generally get excited for anyway.

Pecan Bar Cutie. 1".

"Crunchy toasted pecans and a traditional custardy sweet filling, baked on top of an all-butter shortbread cookie crust."

I first tried the pecan bar cutie, and was pleasantly surprised.

The base was a shortbread cookie crust, and on top was a sweet pecan layer.  The crust was kinda boring and flavorless, but necessary to hold it together.  This bar is really all about the pecan layer though.  Eli's does describe it as "traditional custardy sweet filling", which is not really how I felt about it.  The pecans were good, but not gooey like pecan pie.  The coating was more soft and sweet like caramel.  Tasty though.

Was it amazing?  Nah.  Would it be better if it was a pie?  Of course.  But for a frozen pre-made item, it was good.  I just wanted some whipped cream with it.

Pecan Bar.

Another event, another pile of these.  I remembered liking them, so I was excited to have another.

Sadly, I didn't care for it this time.  The soft caramel layer just doesn't work for me.

Pecan Bar - so inconsistent!

Another day, another tray of these.

Here you can see that they even visibly look different.  Such inconsistencies.

Florentine Honey Almond Bar.

"Sliced almonds drenched in honey glaze, on a shortbread crust."

Next, another nutty variety, the florentine honey almond bar.

It was ok.  The shortbread crust was thin and not interesting, but the sliced almonds and sweet caramel like glaze were tasty enough.

But certainly not particularly interesting.

Chocolate Swirl.

"Rich chocolate cheesecake swirled with deep bittersweet chocolate, on a chocolate crust."

I moved into the cheesecakes, expecting better things, since Eli's full size cheesecakes are decent.

This was ... ok.  Decent creamy texture, decent chocolate flavor, and I liked the chocolate crust.  Good, but not amazing.

Caramel Flan Swirl.

"Creamy, custardy caramel flan cheesecake topped with a buttery caramel swirl."

The caramel flan certainly sounded better, but, alas, it was really lackluster.  Still a creamy texture, but, it had no flavor.  Not caramel, not flan, and not even cream cheese.  Did not like.

Cookie Butter Swirl Cheesecake.

"Creamy Speculoos cookie butter, swirled into Eli’s Original Plain Cheesecake on a graham crust."

Things got worse with the cookie butter version.

The crust was soggy and mushy, gritty.  The cookie butter swirl was also dry.  The cheesecake itself, eh.

Lemon Swirl Cheesecake

.

"Tangy house-made lemon curd swirled into our Original Cheesecake on a graham crust."

At this point I didn't bother try the lemon swirl, since it looked the same, and I don't like lemon desserts anyway.

Raspberry Macaroon.

"An all-butter shortbread crust filled with rich coconut custard, topped with red raspberry puree and a white chocolate drizzle."

Meh to this.

Raspberry Macaroon Bar: Side View.

The same dry shortbread base I don't like.  The "rich coconut custard" was not really rich, not really custardy.  But yes it tasted like coconut.

I kinda liked the fruity raspberry topping?

Blueberry Oat Bar.

"Sweet blueberries baked with brown sugar oat streusel, on an oat streusel crust."

And ... another fairly awful bite.

Stale soft crust.  "sweet blueberries" were just a bit of blueberry jam, generic as can be.  The streusel was ... fine?

But overall? No.

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Cali'flour Foods

Cali'flour.  Cauli-power.  Yup, cauli, as in, cauliflower.  Not exactly an ingredient most people find all that interesting, but the basis for products made by Cali'flour Foods.

"Most people are tired of sacrificing flavor for health. That is why we developed low carb, gluten free, grain free cauliflower based food that actually satisfies your cravings so you can maintain your healthy lifestyle! "

Cali'flour strives to create healthy, but, tasty foods, comfort foods even.  Side benefits (at least to me) are that they are also low-carb and gluten-free.  And they all revolve around cauliflower.

The product range is fairly small: pizza, pizza crust, and flatbread.  The crusts even come in different flavors, plain, but also Italian, sweet red pepper, and even spicy jalapeno.  And um pumpkin spice and cinnamon spice, for all your holiday sweet or savory cauliflower crust needs.

I received coupons to review some pizzas, so I picked up a bunch of them, stuck them in the freezer, and to be honest, forgot about them.  I had zero enthusiasm for trying them.  My partner got to them first, shared with friends when they were over, and ... they all gave rave reviews. 

This happened several times.  He started mentioning how great they were to have on hand. And then I realized, my stock was getting quickly depleted.

Once I finally tried the products, I understood why.  They are on to something here.

Pizza

 I stuck with the pizzas, available in 4 varieties, all vegetarian besides the pepperoni.  They also have a bunch more exciting flavors coming soon (sriracha veggie! buffalo chicken! italian sausage & kale!)

"America's favorite cauliflower pizza crust company just made your life, and dinner, even simpler! Introducing low carb pizzas made on a cauliflower and cheese crust! "

I tried two of the four, skipping the pepperoni (although my partner had it when I wasn't home, and it was his favorite).  I never found the "Supreme Veggie" with peppers, spinach, mushrooms, and black olives in stores, otherwise I would have tried it.

I really, really was impressed.

Packaging.

Pizzas are sold in the frozen foods aisle at grocery stores, alongside traditional pizzas, same style of box, attractive packaging.

Frozen Margherita Pizza.

We unboxed the frozen pizza to reveal ... yup, a frozen pizza.  A bit icy on top, likely my fault as someone with bad freezer habits that involve keeping the freezer door open as I graze ...

Cooking instructions were pretty simple, 12-14 minutes, 450* oven, yadda yadda.

We put ours into our giant toaster oven, and were quite pleased with the results.

Note: one time we had convection on, which I don't recommend.  It did not come out as crispy.  But otherwise, so ridiculously easy.

Margherita Pizza - Baked.

"Our better-for-you spin on the classic margherita pizza. Diced vine-ripened tomatoes, a generous helping of mozzarella & parmesan cheese top the #1 cauliflower pizza crust to make margherita pizza perfection."

The pizza comes out looking like most other frozen pizza, to be honest.  It certainly didn't look very special.

I cut off a tiny slice, ready to move on to something else, and let my partner enjoy the pizza.

I took a bite.  And another, and another.  And grabbed the pizza cutter, and demanded more.  It was interesting.  It was tasty.

The cheese, mozzarella, was nicely melted, just a bit crispy on top, and well distributed.  Every bite had cheese.  The sauce, equally well distributed, you could taste it in every bite, but not too thick, not too thin, not too sweet, but a bit tangy, good seasoning, lots of basil.  Since this was the Margherita pizza, it had additional bits of tomato on top.

Clearly, a very well assembled pizza, quality toppings.

But my doubt wasn't with the toppings.  It was with the crust of course.  The crust, made from cauliflower (and cheese, egg whites, and plenty of Italian seasoning).  I had no idea what to expect, and, once I did taste it, I had no idea what to make of it.  It was ... well, unlike anything I've ever had before.  It was thin, nicely crispy, had a slight chew.  It was a good eating experience.

It clearly didn't taste like normal pizza crust.  Nor did it taste like an odd gluten-free attempt.  Nor did it taste like cauliflower.  The texture too - not normal pizza crust, not strange cardboard, not cauliflower ...  But ... what was it?  My partner describes it as more like a "cracker", which I don't quite agree with.  It was flavorful, it was crispy, it worked great as a base.  I liked it.

Overall, this was actually just really quite good.  It wasn't a decadent pizza, it wasn't a lofty crust.  It did, indeed, feel kinda healthy, but also entirely satisfying, and entirely like comfort food at the same time.  I really enjoyed it, ditched my other dinner plans, and went for more pizza.  I wished I hadn't given away the others before!

Three Cheese Pizza: Frozen.

I also got my hands on one of the Three Cheese, the last one in our stash.

It looked much the same as the other, just no tomato bits on top, and luckily not freezer burnt.

Three Cheese Pizza: Cooked.

"A mouth-watering trifecta of mozzarella, parmesan, and white cheddar top our cauliflower pizza crust. That's three good reasons to say yes, yes, yes to CAULIPOWER Three Cheese Pizza."
I volunteered to make the final one, so I take all blame for poor turn out.  I should have left the cooking duties to my more experienced partner!

This one definitely suffered from the way I did it - I was lazy, and cooked on foil instead of a pizza pan.  It stuck to the foil and bit, but more importantly, didn't quite crisp up the way it should. 

I knew how crispy it *should* be, so when I pulled it out and it wasn't crispy, I put it back in.  Which of course, just meant that it overcooked, and the edges got more brown than we wanted, and the cheese was definitely overbaked.  All fault here is with me.

This one let me down, as the crust wasn't nearly as good when not crispy, the cheese not nearly as good when less melty. 

I think this one is likely just as good as the other, when properly prepared, just, sans the tomato chunks, and with a bit more depth to the cheese on top since a blend that also includes cheddar.

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McCafé

Update Review, March 2018 Visit

In April 2018, McDonald's introduced a new line of beverages to the McCafé line: "Turtle" beverages.  Available as an iced or warm macchiato or iced coffee, all of which blend either espresso + milk (or coffee) with the new syrup, and then drizzle a lot more chocolate in too.

I've previously reviewed a few McCafé beverages, back in 2013 when I had some free drinks to redeem, and discovered the decadence and not-so-horribleness of the Iced Caramel Mocha in particular (but no, do not get a cappuccino there, nor the decaf coffee, nor the frappe, and certainly NOT a shake!), so feel free to start there with my intro and overall feelings on the McCafe offerings.

I did not seek this out, and was actually given it as part of a outreach event McDonald's did with local bloggers, so I got to try it ahead of its release date (!).

Iced Turtle Coffee.

"Our Iced Turtle Coffee starts with a chocolate drizzle and is mixed with ice, light cream, rich caramel and hazelnut flavored syrup and our premium roast coffee, made with 100% Arabica beans."

I didn't actually order this, but was given it to test as a new addition to the menu, part of the "turtle" lineup, that also includes a hot and iced macchiato. 

I'm not usually one for "dessert" coffee, although I clearly love dessert, for some reason, my coffee is just not where I tend to want my sugar (or cream for that matter).  And I say this as someone who has whipped cream or ice cream nearly every day.  I'm certainly not cream-adverse, just, not in my coffee!

Anyway, this was a nice looking product, more like Starbucks than McDonald's really, with chocolate swirled on the edges of the cup, exactly like in the marketing photos.

The "turtle syrup" is made with sweetened condensed milk + sugar + corn syrup + fructose + brown sugar, so, uh you don't really need to use your imagination much to guess what it tasted like.

It was ... well, sweet creamy "coffee".  Hard to taste the coffee.  I didn't really taste hazelnut nor caramel, either just sweet and creamy and chocolately.    15 year old me would have loved it.

Side note: I still wish McDonald's allowed some customization of the coffee drinks.  No decaf option, no option for a lighter dairy choice than the cream for this one.

Original Review, April 2013

Oh yes, I went there.  I've been sitting on this one for a while.  But, after last week's review declaring the Target brand granola the best I've found, I might as well get some more shame out there.  I went to McCafé.  And, if my readership doesn't entirely plummet after this, perhaps I'll even be brave and put up my review of McDonald's itself!

Anyway.  Let me back up.  I was lured into the whole McCafé experience via Mowingo, their phone app that promised to give me a free milkshake.  This was during my great milkshake quest, so I couldn't pass it up.  And then, a month later, it popped up offering a free coffee drink.  And so on and so on.  I'm such a sucker for freebies.  I love trying new things, and somehow, when I'm not paying, I feel like the stakes are much easier to deal with.  If it is awful, I just won't finish it.  But, when I'm paying, I have a bit of an irrational need to finish things, to "get my money's worth".  I don't know where I got this from, but it is really annoying, and something I'm working on.  But anyway.

So, I went to try out their fancy beverages.  I was honestly intrigued   It had been years since I'd be inside any McDonald's.  I pretty sure the whole McCafé thing didn't exist last time I was there.  And ... the website made it sound like they were basically making Starbucks drinks, and smoothies, and milkshakes.  They sounded possibly good ...

My first surprise came when I found that none of their coffee beverages, besides just plain drip coffee, are available in decaf, which I normally drink.  Seriously? No decaf? They lose some major points here.

And then ... the service.  Wow.  I know I was a at a fast food place, so my expectations did need to be reset from my normal dining experiences.  But some were still rather amazing.

At the first McDonald's I visited using Mowingo, I had no idea what I could choose from, as the app just said "small speciality coffee drink of your choice”.  And of course, the staff member had never seen Mowingo before, and couldn't read the small print on my screen.  She took my phone from me, and went back into the kitchen with it, asking random cooks to try to read the screen to her.  Of course the screen locked on her, which I tried to explain would happen.  She got very flustered and seemingly arbitrarily just declared that I could get any McCafé drink.  This sounded good to me, except ... I had no idea what McCafé drinks even existed.  I asked her, and she was like "What you want?  Coffee?  Latte?"  I knew they had all sorts of iced drinks, blended drinks, even shakes, as I saw some delicious looking creations on posters around the walls, but there was no McCafé menu in sight.  I asked for a McCafé menu, and she pointed at a blank screen.  Very good.  Sigh. So I stepped out of line, pulled up the McDonald's web site on my phone, and browsed through my options.

When I decided on an iced caramel mocha, she put the order in, and went to make it.  She came back with a Styrofoam cup.  I thought it was odd that they would serve iced drinks in those cups, but hey, what did I know.  Of course, the moment I touched it, I could tell it was hot.  I explained I'd ordered an iced drink.  She looked at the screen, and sure enough, she'd entered it as iced, like I'd said.  So she took the cup from me, hurled it across the room at the garbage can, and set off making a new one.  I'm not sure what went wrong with the next one, as she hurled it at the can too.  And then she started another, and threw that one out after only adding the syrups and milk.  And then, a forth one seemed complete, but she dumped it down a drain on the floor.  I had no idea what was going on.  She was upset, and frantic seeming.  Finally, she made one that she didn't throw out, and asked if I wanted whipped cream.  I said yes.  She pulled out the can of whipped cream, and went kinda nuts putting on an insane amount of whipped cream.  I could see her finger getting into the whipped cream as it dispensed, since it had to be nearby to activate the nozzle.  This was the same finger, without a glove, that had just been touching money, the register, my phone, etc.  Shutter.  And then she went to put the lid on.  Of course, it did not fit, given the massive mound of whipped cream she'd put on.  She tried to jam it on, with whipped cream spilling out the sides, and all over her.  The creation she handed to me was beyond sticky and messy.  Wowzer.  The next time I ordered a drink with whipped cream on top, the worker put the dome lid on first, and then filled it through the lid.  This resulted in zero mess.  Given how assembly-line style everything is done at fast food chains, I'm surprised that the procedure to make these drinks isn't a formulaic.

Oh, and in case you are excited to try out Mowingo, they stopped offering it.  The Bay Area was just a small test program, and apparently, it didn't work out so well.  Perhaps most McDonald's patrons don't have fancy smart phones? Or, people just don't want to install a different mobile app for each and every place they go?  Come on businesses, just get on GoPago or LevelUp!

McCafé Iced Caramel Mocha, Small.  $2.49.

Another McCafé Iced Caramel Mocha, Small.  $2.49.

I wasn't too hopeful as to the quality of their espresso, so I decided I might as well just load it up with syrups, to mask the flavor of what I expected to be pretty crappy coffee flavor.  And as it was hot out, I wanted something iced and decadent.

So I went for the most loaded up iced drink they had, the Iced Caramel Mocha.  Described as "iced espresso made with 100% Arabica beans, whole or nonfat milk, chocolate and caramel syrup, topped with whipped cream and a caramel drizzle."

It tasted like pretty much any other drink you could get elsewhere in this category.  The overwhelming characteristic: sweet.  I didn't really taste any chocolate, or mocha-ness.  The coffee flavor was there, giving it a slight bitterness, but there was so much caramel and milk that it was unoffensive, as I expected.

The whip on top was generic stuff from a can, but it wasn't bad.  The caramel drizzle was thick caramel sauce that was clearly just flavored corn syrup, but I liked it.

Overall, this was far more enjoyable than I expected, and I actually drank the whole thing, which I really wasn't intending on, making it the first fully caffeinated beverage that I had in about 1.5 years.  Let's just say that with all the caffeine AND the massive amount of sugar in it, I was rather bouncing off the walls afterwards.  Whee!

On a subsequent visit, I got another one of these, as it was the best drink I'd found so far.  As you can see from the photo, it looked pretty much identical.  McDonald's does have consistency down, even though these came from different stores!  It was pretty much the same.  Ridiculously sweet, barely any coffee flavor, with the same generic but kinda tasty whipped cream and caramel sauce.  I think I just like sweet things!

Small McCafé Caramel Mocha.  $2.49.

Since the iced caramel mocha was decent, and the next McDonald's I visited said I could only order a hot drink with my Mowingo coupon, I went for the hot version.  (Side note: some of the iced drinks are cheaper than hot ones, why can't I get those?  Grumble).

It was fairly inoffensive and generic.  Sweet, but not really that tasty.  Whipped cream was added on top without asking me, which I didn't mind, but this was the only place they didn't ask me about it.  The whipped cream was the same as everywhere, generic but pretty good.  The thick caramel sauce drizzled on top was again tasty.

I wouldn't get one of these again. Meh.

Small McCafé Vanilla Cappuccino.  $2.49.

On another visit, I was again told I could only pick from the hot beverages.  Feeling brave, I went for what I'd get at a "real" coffee shop: a cappuccino.  But since I thought their espresso was kinda nasty tasting, I added in the vanilla to mask it.

The vanilla didn't help.  This had a horrible taste.  Bitter, but not in a good way.  And the vanilla syrup was gross as well.

The foam was impressive, but again, not in a good way.  How did they create foam out of nothing?  It didn't really seem to be made of milk.  It had no flavor.  It offered nothing.

This was really, really bad.

Small Decaf Coffee, Vanilla.  $1.79.

And again, told I could only order a hot beverage.  Since the caramel mocha and the cappuccino were so bad, I decided to be simple and just get coffee.  But, hedging my bets that it would be nasty, I added vanilla syrup.  Bonus points to McDonald's that you can pick from a variety of flavor syrups to add at no additional cost.

It was bitter and horrible.  I added in 3 creamers and then it became bearable.  Do not recommend, would never get again.

Small McCafé Hot Chocolate.  $2.19.

And yet another visit where I was told I could only pick from the hot items.  Since I thought all of the hot coffee drinks were downright horrible, I went for the hot chocolate.  It was made by the same machine as the coffee drinks, described as "steamed  milk, rich chocolate syrup and topped with whipped cream and a chocolate drizzle."

The milk came out better than in my cappuccino, but it was still fairly airy seeming and not that creamy.  The chocolate flavor was ok, not spectacular, but you could at least tell it was a hot chocolate.  The whipped cream on top was again the highlight.   The chocolate syrup was again just Hershey-like, thin, and not interesting.

Overall, not a bad hot chocolate, pretty generic, although the whipped cream certainly elevates it above most of the hot chocolates you get out of magic machines.  If it was winter and I was cold and wanting a hot chocolate, I'd consider getting one.  Interestingly, at one place where I was told I could only get a hot beverage, they wouldn't let me pick this, even though it was hot, and the cheapest item on the menu.  Such inconsistencies!

Small McCafé Peppermint Hot Chocolate.  $2.19.

Since the hot chocolate wasn't bad, on a blustery day I decided to try out another one, this time, the seasonal peppermint version. The person taking my order cheered when I ordered this, apparently I was the first one to ever do so.

It was fairly minty, but like the regular hot chocolate, not very chocolately.  The whipped cream was again my favorite part, the syrup again basically generic Hersheys.

McCafé Frappé Chocolate Chip.  $2.49.

"An indulgent combination of rich mocha, sweet caramel and a hint of coffee, with added chocolate chips, all blended to perfection. Topped with whipped cream plus a double drizzle of chocolate and caramel. "

The frappé line was the one I was most interested in, but all locations had told me those weren't included.  On the very last day of the Mowingo deal, it happened to be a ridiculously hot day, a very rare treat in San Francisco.  The person taking my order asked, "And which McCafé beverage do you want?" and I said "The Chocolate Chip Frappé", and she said, "Oh, I'm sorry, it has to be hot".  Since I really didn't care to try any more of their hot beverages, I said "Oh, ok.  Its such a hot day out, I was really in the mood for a cold treat.  Never mind then", and started to walk away.  And she called after me, "Oh, its ok, they are the same price anyway, and it is totally a frappé sort of day!"

w00t!  I finally got to try one of these things.  My excitement was short lived.  I'm glad I didn't pay for it.  It wasn't good.

Indulgent it was.  Do not go read the nutrition stats for this thing.  Let's just say that a quarter pounder with cheese is better for you, in literally every metric, than this creation!

I expected it to be somewhat like a milkshake.  Or perhaps like a Starbuck's frappucino or Peet's freddo.  It somehow wasn't like either.  Not ice-creamy like a shake.  Nor icy like a blended drink from a coffee shop.  It was just ... kinda cold sweet milk.  No real consistency to it.

Inside of it was a ton of bits of chocolate chips.  They added an almost good texture, except they were so tiny that they came out more like grit.   It was off-putting.

The top was the only redeeming part.  It was kinda frothy, although like the rest of it, the flavor was not good.  It was basically just sweet.  I couldn't pick out any mocha, or caramel, or coffee, or anything.  Of course, I enjoyed the whipped cream.  And again, the caramel sauce was really good, and the chocolate sauce totally mediocre.

I definitely would never get one of these again, but I'm glad my curiosity was satisfied.

Small McCafé Strawberry Shake.  $2.39.

I've had a serious thing for milkshakes lately, and so I was most excited about the free shakes in Mowingo.  They offer chocolate, strawberry, or vanilla, and I was intending to get vanilla, except they only had chocolate or strawberry that day.  Strawberry was my second choice, so I went for it, remembering fondly the amazing strawberry shake I'd had from Holy Grill a few weeks earlier.

This one seemed pretty similar to the Del Taco offerings, with the "shake" just coming out of a magic machine.  They topped it with standard canned whipped cream, and ... a cherry!  I give them credit for the touch of adding a cherry on top.

Unfortunately, this was, hands down, the worst shake I've ever had.  The consistency was fine actually, it was nicely icy, yet totally easy to suck up with the straw.  Much better than the far too thick one from Del Taco, proving that not all strange milkshake machines are the same!

The whipped cream was generic stuff from a can, but like in the other McCafé drinks I tried, totally fine.

The maraschino cherry was pretty awful, just way too fake and sweet, which, I guess is just how those cherries are supposed to be.  But way too fake and sweet is the theme of the sad story of this shake.

The flavor was beyond horrible.  So incredibly fake and medicinal.  And very sweet, but I expected that.  But ugh, it was just nasty.  There were little bits of real strawberry in there, but I'm guessing the majority of the flavor came from some sort of fake syrup.  Awful, awful.

Small McCafé Vanilla Shake.  $2.39.

You'd think that my experience with the strawberry shake would have been enough to make me never try their shakes again.  But ... it was really hot out.  I was craving a shake in a major way.  And I had another free one.

This time, I went for the vanilla shake.  Vanilla shakes are usually white.  For reference, the whipped cream in this photo was indeed white.  The shake was ... light yellow.  That was scary enough, why was it yellow?  But I still tried it.

It was just a step above the strawberry shake.  It also had a crazy fake, chemical taste to it.  And of course was super sweet.  It wasn't nearly as bad as the strawberry one, and given how badly I wanted a milkshake, I (regrettably) finished it.  I do give them credit for the consistency again, the magic shake machine does make a milkshake that is kinda the perfect consistency.

The whipped cream on top was again pretty good, and the cherry was again horrible.

Small McCafé Chocolate Shake.  $2.39.

And finally, I went for the chocolate shake.  Seems like I saved the best for last!

This wasn't an awesome shake or anything, but it was leagues above the others.  Like all of the others, it was a perfect consistency, not too thick, not too runny.  And it somehow didn't degrade as time passed.  It kinda reminded me of some ice cream my dad once threw out in the sink and returned to find not melted an hour or so later.  Magic, and in this case, exactly what I wanted, but somewhat scary to imagine what causes it to stay perfectly frozen.

The flavor was chocolatey, not too rich, but also not strangely sweet or medicinal like the vanilla and strawberry.  The whipped cream on top was standard and I liked it, the cherry was again horrible.

I certainly wouldn't ever go buy one of these, but it was by far the best of the bunch, and I could even imagine having another if it was given to me, which certainly isn't true with the other flavors!

McCafé Frozen Strawberry Lemonade, Small. $1.79.

It was a hot day, and I wanted something refreshing.  And literally, 2 minutes after having the thought of stopping somewhere for a cold beverage, my phone vibrated at me.  It was McDonald's, telling me that they were offering me yet another free McCafé drink.  This one looked like it had no strings attached.  I clearly didn't want any of their horrible coffee drinks, or shakes, but I had just seen that they also were making frozen summer beverages.  There were a few choices, but frozen strawberry lemonade called out to me.  It sounded like exactly what I wanted.

And it was, in theory.  Except, I needed to remember where I was.  I wasn't expecting fresh squeezed lemonade with real strawberry puree, but I still wasn't prepared for this.

First, it wasn't mixed at all, and I didn't realize it.  So I stuck the straw in, and took a big sip.  All I got was the strawberry syrup.  Now, you may recall how I felt about the strawberry shake?  That horrible, horrible flavor it had?  Turns out, they use the same chemicals for their strawberry sauce in the lemonade.  So fake tasting, so sweet, so horrible.

It turned out that I was glad it wasn't mixed, since I was able to then just try the lemonade, without the horrible strawberry syrup.  As you can imagine, it wasn't good.  Not tart.  Not lemon-y.  Just sweet.  Not good.

They do get points for the ice though.  It was like everything you ever wanted a Slush Puppy or Slurpee to be, just perfectly tiny little ice pellets.  That part was really nicely done.

But uh, no.  Do not get this.

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Le Chef Bakery

Yup, time to review more desserts! I have a sweet tooth, beyond belief, and yes, I finish every meal, lunch and dinner, with a full dessert course.  Every day.  Please don't judge.  What if I say I do it for you, dear readers? :)

According to the distributor,

"Le Chef is one of the country's foremost premier bakeries specializing in high-end, European-style baked goods. With a fine array of decadent desserts, enticing breads, and a comprehensive line of breakfast pastries, frozen-dough, and fresh-baked goods, Le Chef is poised to take the spotlight on the culinary stage."

Le Chef Bakery is a large wholesale bakery, offering up European-style baked goods with a huge line up of products - these range from frozen pre-made desserts of all varieties (pastries, cheesecakes, cakes, mouses, pies, tarts, brownies, bars, cupcakes, etc, etc) to fresh baked and sealed baked goods (croissants, danishes muffins, bagels, scones, pound cakes, sticky buns, etc), to breads and buns, to frozen doughs and muffin batters, to packaged dessert cups and retail snacks ... and of course they have a gluten-free line too. It is crazy extensive.

However, my distributor only carries an handful of items, a few breakfast pastries that I have not tried, a few individual cakes/tarts/pies, and some small assortments for catering platters.  I wish they carried more, because the lineup has some that sound amazing!

I know you can't purchase these directly, but I've seen them around town in many markets and restaurants, so, chances are, you could get your hands on some if you wished.

Individual Cakes & Tarts

It is hard to express just how many offerings Le Chef has, and I don't want to bore you with enumerating them all, but, let me just say ... they make a lot of cakes, cheesecakes, mousses, pies, and tarts, including a large range of individual sized items.

I was able to try a few individuals, and had mixed success.  I'd love to try more though.

Chocolate Crunch Hazelnut.

"Creamy bittersweet chocolate mousse jazzes up a hazelnut milk-chocolate flourless cake for a flair of drama. This is a chocolate lover’s haven!"

This thing was glorious.  And it didn't sound like something I'd even like that much, as I don't generally adore chocolate desserts, and I don't really like hazelnut that often.  But I loved it.

The very base was super thin, snappy dark chocolate that I enjoyed, but right above that was the most boring part, a *really* thin chocolate cake.  I wish I had a side profile of this one to show you, but it was very thin, so at least it wasn't that prevalent.  Just a chocolate cake.

Above that was magic though, another thin layer, of chocolate hazelnut praline.  I loved the crispy bits throughout.  Amazing texture.  Really, that could have been the base and it would be even better, or, even better, have more layers of this throughout!

And finally, the majority of the product, the bittersweet chocolate mousse.  Really intense chocolate, super thick, decadent, wonderful.  I really only have good things to say about this layer.  I'll criticize one thing - calling it a mousse, as it is thicker, really more like a ganache?

Chocolate Crunch Hazelnut Platter.

Given how much I loved the Chocolate Crunch Hazelnut the first time, I added it to my list of desserts to work into our rotation.  My group was surprised as I don't usually put bar-looking items on our lineup, and I probably have never put hazelnut on, but ... I knew these were great.

I again loved it, and was again quite impressed.  The thin chocolate cake layer bothered me less this time, although I still wish it just didn't exist.  I again loved the crispy praline layer, and was blown away by the rich, thick, smooth "mousse".  

I did find this time that the item was just a bit too rich as served, and maybe a bit too big (they are fairly big portions just given the richness), so I needed to, um, add whipped cream to cut it a bit.  You know, making a dish "lighter" by adding whipped cream.

Rustic Apple Blossom.

"Apples and brown sugar get fancy, topped with a delicious streusal (sic) topping."

Next we tried a mini pie, the rustic apple blossom.

These were interesting, different from the similar looking version from the Chudleigh's ones we have enjoyed so many times before (seriously, the best things ever!)

I expected these to be like mini galettes with just a slight, "rustic" overhang on the edges of the crusts, but they were almost fully enclosed with pastry.  As someone who loves pie crust though, I liked this ratio quite a bit.

I think I liked these.

I tried it first at room temperature, later chilled, and then warmed.  With whipped cream of course.

Rustic Apple Blossom: Close up.

The crust wasn't flaky pastry, but it was kinda pie crust like, just, thick.  I liked it more chilled than warmed, and liked to dunk it into whipped cream.

The streusel on top was good, brown sugar based, but there wasn't much of it.  I prefer the Chudleigh's toppings, no question.

And inside, apples.  Not too mushy, not too aggressively spiced, but, eh, I wasn't feeling the apples that much.

Overall, this was fine.  Like I said, I think I liked them well enough, but, since the apple wasn't really what I wanted, and they only come in apple, I wasn't thrilled.

Apple Pecan Tart

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"Filled with apples, pecans, raisins, and cinnamon, this tart satisfies a wide array of cravings – from a thirst for the sweet to a passion for the nutty. The thick, dense crust flakes and melts in one’s mouth."

The last item we tried were mini apple pecan tarts.  These were not good.

The tart shell was mushy, and didn't "flake" nor "melt in your mouth", it just broke apart and made a mess.

The apples were a bit too firm, and aggressively spiced.  The pecans would be a nice touch, adding crunch, but, they weren't toasted or anything, and were quite boring.  There seemed to be a bit of an odd glaze on top too.

The only part I liked was the chocolate drizzle on top.  I would not get these again.

Minis / Banquets

To make life easy for caterers, they make a slew of mini treats, offered in different assortments.  Because I wanted to sample as many items as possible, I opted for one of these assortments to try out 5 items at a time.

Mini Italian Assortment (Mini Pastries)

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 "Graceful accents turn the spotlight on this classy collection blooming with a wide variety of flavors and exploding with charm and lively elegance. Flavors: Chocolate Hazelnut Crunch, Pistachio, Tiramisu, White Chocolate Lemon Cone, White Chocolate Panna Cotta."

For my group, I ordered the "Italian" assortment, in order to try a wide variety of items.  Of the bunch, the only one I had before was the excellent (full size) hazelnut crunch.  And yes, they make a mini "French" version too with cream puffs, Opera cake, etc.

I was pretty excited to dive into the platter.

Mini Chocolate Hazelnut Crunch

First up, the a mini version of the larger item I had loved so much.  Flourless chocolate cake, chocolate mousse, hazelnut crunch, and more chocolate.

I really enjoyed it yet again.  The dark chocolate base had a great snap and seriously great dark chocolate flavor.  Above that was the only layer I didn't care for, the chocolate cake, but it was thin, and not that bad, just, kinda dry, and meh to cake in general.

Above the thin cake layer is another thin layer of glory: hazelnut mousse studded with crunchy little bits.  The crunch just adds a fun component to nearly every bite.

And then, the majority of the product, deep, rich, thick, chocolate mousse.  It is rich, it is decadent, and it would be too much on its own, but the crunchy bits help balance it, and I always add a generous amount of whipped cream.

My favorite of the 5 items.

Mini Tiramisu

Next, the other caffeinated option: tiramisu.  A cute little treat, but not really a tiramisu.

It was a semi-sweet chocolate cup, filled mostly with mousse, and a thin layer of vanilla cake that was soaked in a touch of coffee extract, all topped with whipped topping, a chocolate coffee bean, and a dusting of cocoa powder.

The chocolate shell was ok, had a nice snap, unique packaging and great for a catered even.  The mousse inside didn't really taste like anything, just, pastry cream, really, although it had mascarpone in it.  The very thin layer of cake was dry but also moist from being soaked, and had barely a hint of coffee flavor to it.  Definitely not the level you expect from tiramisu.

Whipped topping on top was fascinating, it was really sweet, and really fluffy.  I liked it, but it didn't go with the very flavorless mousse very well.  Yay for the chocolate covered espresso bean, it gave a nice crunch and bitter component.

Overall, this just didn't really eat as a tiramisu ... the lack of ladyfingers/negligible amount of cake, the lack of espresso flavor, and the pastry cream mostly dominating just made it something else.  It wasn't bad exactly, my third pick, but it wasn't something I'd want another of.

Le Chef also makes a tiramisu sheet cake, that has Kahlua in it, but also ... chocolate cream?  I think they take a generous inspiration from tiramisu ... They also make a retail large size tiramisu cup.

Mini White Chocolate Panna Cotta

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I love panna cotta.  This was certainly the one I was most excited for.

This ... was not quite a panna cotta.  There was a white chocolate panna cotta "cheese mousse" on top, but there was also a layer of vanilla cake.  It was garnished with strawberry curls (also white chocolate based), and had a lovely transfer sheet applied design on the side.

I'll be positive to start.  I liked the white chocolate and strawberry curls.  I even liked the white chocolate transfer sheet thing around it.

But this was really, really not a panna cotta.  The layer that was trying to be panna cotta was a fairly firm mousse, and it was fine, but ... there was so much cake here.  I really did not like the cake and panna cotta combo at all.  The cake ruined this for me.  Forth pick.

Mini White Chocolate Lemon Cone

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I don't go for lemon desserts normally, but I tried this for completeness, and, because, well, cream!

The lemon cream was more interesting than expected, with buttermilk and sour cream in the mix, and luckily for me, the lemon component was just in the very center, and there was not much of it.

The lemon cream was surrounded by a thicker, fluffy, white chocolate mousse layer, and, unexpected, it was all perched on a thin slice of almond cake.  I liked the white chocolate mousse, and even the white chocolate coating.  The cake was thin enough not to notice much, but it was pretty dry and boring.

Overall, a decent item, although not my favorite, it did come in number 2 for me.

Mini Pistachio

And finally, the green one, pistachio.

This turned out to be a little layer cake, with white chocolate pistachio mousse and almond cake (like the lemon cone), and, a lot of glaze.  So shiny on top.  In a way that wasn't necessarily appealing ...

This was my least favorite, as it was mostly cake.  The shiny sweet top was fine, but the mousse really didn't taste like pistachio, and dry cake was the dominant element.

Meh.  Least favorite.

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The Better Chip

Update Review, May 2020

Given that I never really want tortilla chips, I did not seek out more of the veggie forward versions from The Better Chip, but, they wound up in my snack cabinet when my partner was gifted a snack box.  

I still tried a few bags (one new flavor for me, one repeat, see my earlier review), since it had been 6 years since my last try of the product.

Conclusion?  Yup, I still don't ever want tortilla chips!  That said, the 2 flavors I had were the most boring in their lineup - perhaps sweet potato & plantain or chipotle & poblano are more interesting?

Spinach & Kale.

"These whole grain chips are made with straight-from-the-farm, fresh spinach & kale for pleasant, balanced flavor. Enjoy them right out of the bag or pair them up with warm artichoke dip or your favorite hummus. The spinach and kale we dice and blend into each chip go from farm to chip within a week."

I have tried this flavor before, but, I still wanted to try one more time in case my own personal preferences had changed ... which, well, happens, particularly around snack foods and my desire to eat healthy things.

But I felt basically the same as my prior try: the kale & spinach I did like, and you could almost taste them, but, they still are just tortilla chips, which, just aren't my thing.

Beet & Flax.

"We like the Earthy taste and vibrant color of fresh beet. That's why we bring them in fresh, from the field. Our chips have a mild Beet flavor... for real!"

The beet & flax fared no better, in fact, I think worse.  They were just tortilla chips (square this time! and red!), salty, savory, corn flavored.  The flax added bitterness, and, besides the color, I couldn't tell what the beets added.  I certainly couldn't taste it.

Original Review, June 2014

As you know, I love trying new snack foods, and in particular, chips.

Sometimes I go for classics, like those from Frito Lay,  and sometimes I try out ones that are supposed to be slightly better for you, like the ones from Food Should Taste Good.

As you can probably guess from the name, The Better Chip makes ones in the later category: "Unlike any other chip, The Better Chip puts flavor inside with fresh diced vegetables. Made from 100% natural and non-GMO ingredients."

They aim to make chips that are enjoyable for snacking, yet a bit less guilt inducing. Available in corn, jalapeño, spinach & kale, beet, and chipotle varieties, all made with corn masa, making them more like tortilla chips than classic chips. Since I dislike tortilla chips, this didn't bode well for me.

Red Pepper

The first flavor I tried was red pepper with salsa fresca.

The chips were very spiced, but the flavor reminded me a bit too much of Doritos, which I don't like.  They were almost good, and I went back and tried them many more times, hoping to like them.  A bit more in the salsa direction and less in the Doritos direction, and I would have liked them.  The flavor was so strong that they could act as a standalone chip, your chips and salsa all in one, no dip needed, although I bet they'd be good with some sort of cream cheese dip too.

They were very crispy, and I did like the hearty taste from the whole grain corn masa.

When I went to the web site to pull up the description, I found out that they no longer make the red pepper variety, so, perhaps I'm not alone in not caring for this flavor.

Spinach and Kale.

Corn masa chip, loaded with spinach and kale.

Wow, I really did not like these. I don't tend to like tortilla chips in general, and these were clearly tortilla chips. Except they tasted like spinach and kale. Now, I like spinach and kale, but it just really didn't work here. Just bitter. Meh.

Jalapeño.

And finally, jalapeño.

I *almost* liked these. They had a delightful kick from the jalapeño. They were salty. They were crunchy. But, at the end of the day, they were still tortilla chips, and, I just don't like tortilla chips!

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